+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 14 of 14
  1. #1
    Momto1yrold is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    176

    child support modification after quitting job??

    What is the name of your state?NY

    I have a question. I just received summons papers from Family court to modify the support order. It looks like he isnt being represented. He filled out the paperwork and included a "story" typed up (filled with bad grammar, mispellings, run on sentences etc) saying he and his boss had confrontations and the last one was in Beginning of Dec. I guess he hurt his knee before that but returned to light duty. He says he got into a argument with boss and left. He says he basically quit his job. He states he Hasnt tried to talk with his boss since the last argument (Maybe he should consider trying to get the job back and reconcile). He says he has a new job but doesnt have that experience for that job so he has low pay. He says hes making $300 before taxes so he went from over $40,000 a yr down to $15,600 a yr. He states he cant afford his wife and kids at home. He doesnt list dates or names, or even the name of the employer for his "new" job. How does one pay a mortgage and provide for a family of 6 on less than $16,000 a yr?

    Now he has the experience for that first job. He said that its not the season for the job he has now (but the one he quit was all seasons)

    Now my question is what are the possibilities they will grant him this? Its no ones fault but his own that he walked out on his job. Will they go by his experience and knowledge and take into consideration what he was making. Thats a BIG drop and I find it very hard to believe that he is making $250+ less than me. When he could easily get at least $10-12 an hr at a warehouse or doing some other type of manual work.

    If I was to quit my job because I got into an argument with my boss or i didnt like it, I couldnt expect him to pay more support and actually get it. If he had that many problems with the boss he could have contacted labor dept or what not esp if he was "working 6 days and being paid 5". Shows how much he cares for his wife and "kids" at home to just throw that $40,000 job out the window. He hasnt been looking for long either hes been out of work since Beginning of Dec. Filed these papers on Christmas Eve.

    Would they go by guidelines for that career? Or what he could make? I think hes playing a game. If hes making $7.50. The people who work at mcdonalds around here make more than that an hr.

    Anyone know if he has a good chance of getting it reduced. Its being seen in front of the same magistrate as my original order finalized in Feb 2005 back when I agreed to a lower amount below the guidelines.

    He had also told this magistrate that he didnt have any other kids back in Feb.
    Last edited by Momto1yrold; 01-05-2006 at 06:35 PM.
  2. #2
    VA_Mom is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    178
    It's not even a year old support order and now he has more kids while quiting his job. Doesn't look good at all.

    More than likely they will consider the new child in the modification but ask Daddy'O to get a second job.
  3. #3
    VA_Mom is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    178
    Time out...kidS! Possibly twins?
  4. #4
    Momto1yrold is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    176
    Quote Originally Posted by VA_Mom
    Time out...kidS! Possibly twins?
    Im not sure if they are new kids. He had told me before when he said he was divorced (but actually still married-long story) that he had 4 step kids. When he told me he wanted nothing to do with me or my daughter he said someone told him he could get it lowered because of his wife and step kids. So Im not sure what to believe. He just recently took me to court to vacatte the order of filiation and we had dna testing done, then his lawyer kept asking my lawyer if I would lower the support (when they were supposed to discuss visitation). So its just another "try" at getting it lowered. I just hope they see through his crap.
  5. #5
    VA_Mom is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    178
    If he is refering to his stepkids as the "kids", he can forget it unless the other parent terminated their rights and he adopted the children which I doubt based on the steps he has taken to lower child support. I can't imagine him adopting children when he seems not to want to financially support his own.

    You will just need to speak up and say his own written statement says he "willfully" quit his job, the support order is barely a year old and quitting a job is not a material change of circumstance. The childs financial needs need to be met by both parents and as a parent and provider, I do not have the option of quitting my job unless I have another job lined up in order to ensure that our child continues to have a home, food and clothing.

    I don't see your ex getting too far with what he is claiming as a reason to lower support.
  6. #6
    Kane is offline Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Austin, Texas
    Posts
    858
    How much a month do you want him to pay?
  7. #7
    Whyte Noise is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Guess....
    Posts
    3,271
    I can't add anything moree than what you've already been told advice-wise, but..

    My ex-husband supported our family of 5 (us and 3 children) on LESS than $16,000 a year. Of course, this was in Georgia and not NY. It is possible though. Just have to be very frugal.
  8. #8
    Rushia is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    are those flames?!!!
    Posts
    4,325
    To my knowledge, having more children will not lower his support. In NY, the first support order comes first and then they worry about the others.
  9. #9
    Momto1yrold is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    176
    Quote Originally Posted by Kane
    How much a month do you want him to pay?
    Considering what hes paying now at least something. He made no effort at all. The support unit found his ssn in the system before the 20th (thats when they sent information to that new job). He quit his job beginning of Dec, he looked what 3 weeks tops.

    If I have to get a 2nd job maybe he should consider doing the same. Esp since he is crying he cant afford his family at home on that $300 before taxes alone. That family doesnt involve me. Main thing is he shouldnt have quit if he knew he had a wife and kids at home. What happens when they take that extra what $40 bucks for my daughter out. Then he will really be in trouble I guess huh.

    He does not help at all. He is playing a game. I hope he can explain why he didnt ask the magistrate for dna before the order was finalized (he supposedly said I was blackmailing him during that time). Nothing fits, hes lying and he has been for the last 2 yrs even before she was born. I dont feel sorry for him at all. You just dont go from making $40,000+ a yr down to $16000 a yr. He wont be able to pay his mortgage let alone feed his family on that $250 a wk take home.
  10. #10
    VA_Mom is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    178
    Quote Originally Posted by Momto1yrold
    Considering what hes paying now at least something. He made no effort at all. The support unit found his ssn in the system before the 20th (thats when they sent information to that new job). He quit his job beginning of Dec, he looked what 3 weeks tops.
    Are you saying support unit found where he was working on November 20th? And then he quit a couple of weeks later?

    When you go to court, you will need to dismiss the thought of his family when you are stating your case. His family is being used as an excuse not to support his child. The child was his financial responsiblity BEFORE he even had that family so don't even let him try and use it along with his voluntary pay-cut as an excuse not to make payments and a proper amount to help support the child. Sorry but $40 is pitiful! Daycare, housing and even food costs have gone up considerably in the past 5 years and I think it is a shame to order a parent to pay anything under $200/mo to support a child. (But that topic is for another day and thread. )

    He needs to get a 2nd job and if he quit, his job after finding out support unit located where he was working you need to make sure you point it out to the court because that is playing a game...one which the court would not be happy about.
    Last edited by VA_Mom; 01-06-2006 at 06:06 AM.
  11. #11
    Momto1yrold is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    176
    Quote Originally Posted by VA_Mom
    Are you saying support unit found where he was working on November 20th? And then he quit a couple of weeks later?

    When you go to court, you will need to dismiss the thought of his family when you are stating your case. His family is being used as an excuse not to support his child. The child was his financial responsiblity BEFORE he even had that family so don't even let him try and use it along with his voluntary pay-cut as an excuse not to make payments and a proper amount to help support the child. Sorry but $40 is pitiful! Daycare, housing and even food costs have gone up considerably in the past 5 years and I think it is a shame to order a parent to pay anything under $200/mo to support a child. (But that topic is for another day and thread. )

    He needs to get a 2nd job and if he quit, his job after finding out support unit located where he was working you need to make sure you point it out to the court because that is playing a game...one which the court would not be happy about.
    No they found him before Dec 20th. They sent the income excecution paperwork to his new job on the 20th (i also found out they sent a income execution letter to him as well). Then he filed for the reduction on the 24th. Thats plenty of time to get a letter (the unit told me that he could have received it by then). Its just too weird.

    I have to get a 2nd job to support her, he should too. Hes basically saying he cant afford ANY support at all and hes "burrowing" (yes he spelled it like that) money to provide for his family at home. So he cant afford to feed that family so he just cant pay any support. He hasnt sent anything (not even $30 ) to the Support Unit to at least make himself look like hes trying. He also "tryed" (exact spelling) to find a better paying job but couldnt (he only looked 2-3 weeks tops).

    I do not believe he cant find a better paying job or that he is making that much. His other job was a construction superintendant, he has the ability to earn more and he should have thought at least about his family at home before walking off the job site.
  12. #12
    VA_Mom is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    178
    You should contact your support unit's case worker and request to speak with the support unit's attorney. They do have an attorney which most people do not request to speak to but he/she is there to advocate for your child recieving the support payments. Request to see a copy of the case file. It should contain information for exactly when he was sent a letter, his employer sent a letter, etc. You need to "build" a case and compel the court to not allow him a reduction. Then afterwards I would file for contempt of court to recover the back support. It's not you or your child's problem.
  13. #13
    Momto1yrold is offline Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    176
    Quote Originally Posted by VA_Mom
    You should contact your support unit's case worker and request to speak with the support unit's attorney. They do have an attorney which most people do not request to speak to but he/she is there to advocate for your child recieving the support payments. Request to see a copy of the case file. It should contain information for exactly when he was sent a letter, his employer sent a letter, etc. You need to "build" a case and compel the court to not allow him a reduction. Then afterwards I would file for contempt of court to recover the back support. It's not you or your child's problem.
    Does this cost money? Could I do this without my lawyer, or should I just ask him to do it. I am trying to keep my legal fees down and only talk to him when I really need to.

    The family he has now is prior to my daughter but when the magistrate asked if he had other children (im assuming he was going to factor that into the equation) he said no he didnt. But later when he told me he wanted no contact and he could get it lowered etc, cause he had kids at home-(i said i thought you didnt have kids, he said well i mean step kids). These are not new kids after my daughter. I think he would have told his lawyer that his wife was expecting. So now hes going to try to bring them into this when he lied to the same magistrate back in Feb of 2005.


    The last hearing as well, the magistrate wanted his home address instead of the work address that he was using. I told the magistrate he didnt want to give me his home address cause he said he was getting a divorce and didnt want his wife getting the papers, the guy said you play you pay. Her dad didnt appear in person and this was after he hung up.

    When my order was drawn up, they (whoever typed it etc) failed to include the uncovered medical costs from when we discussed it during the hearing. My lawyer had contacted the magistrate in November 2005 asking about it. The magistrate sent her father a letter explaining they didnt know why it was left off etc and also a paper he could voluntarily sign the paper or the magistrate would file a motion himself to amend it.

    So this is what happened in not much more than a yr.

    Sept-filed for support(me)

    Oct-he admits being father declines dna testing Magistrate gives us time to discuss a mutual amount (because we both agreed we were on good terms) Hello if i was blackmailing You, tell him, he can help you.

    Nov-go back we couldnt agree, set up hearing set for Jan.

    Jan-adjourned

    Feb 18th-final amount set, he asked me to lower it, I agreed. Everything set and done so i thought.

    March 3rd files for Order of protection saying im blackmailing him and threatening his family for the past yr. Saying I knew he was married and he wore his wedding ring all the time (liar everyone he came in contact to he told he was divorced and she was taking everything) he asked me to give it up for adoption etc etc. He says I kept calling him asking him to leave his wife etc. But all this time he is calling me and have proof on my cell phone bill. After Feb 18th court date I supposedly called him and said he wasnt the father "hahaha". But umm Feb 28th he called my phone 3 times leaving voicemails saying "hey give me a shout later I was snowmobiling when you called etc etc" etc and "I will try calling you back later" (still have them recorded on tape with the time and weekday). Very friendly didnt seem too alarmed or afraid @@.

    March-In different county (where he lives) go to order of protection date. Court tells him to buy tape recorder to get some proof. Ok temp order of protection (what do i care im not calling him at all and I know he needs proof). I had a lawyer with me, may be usless but I didnt want to go not knowing and I had money from my tax refund.

    April- order of protection again. We had to sit with mediator, he says im still calling him-nope he didnt record anything, and still had no proof it was me (because it wasnt), he just said "she used to call from a private or unknown id and i just knew it was her". Call the police like they told you or record it. I'd rather him call the police and prove its not me. They told him it would be a short trial with no proof. So he agreed to withdraw the petition and if I called him he would call the police.

    April-He files for DNA testing "misrepresentation and new found evidence".
    He says a whole bunch of lies with help of Lawyer. Actually contains dates, specifcs, proof etc. So I retain one and we get it adjourned to May.

    May-Go to court. They couldnt get him on the phone (judge wasnt too happy and his lawyer said she didnt know and that she told him he didnt have to appear). We were going to fight it. Judge says my lawyer was correct with the laws but he doesnt want the child to have a cloud of doubt of who her father was. Ok fine I agree (I was a virgin I had no doubts just worried he would do some shiesty like getting his brother to do the dna). Also my lawyer made it clear that we only agree if he pays for it and we are denying all his allegations against me. Law guardian said that if his brother did this if they both have the same dad it would come out the same outcome. So I do mine and baby's testing next day.

    June he did his testing we go back to court end of June. DNA 99.99%. Ok lawyer asks adjournment to speak to her client and advise him of bla blah.

    Then July his lawyer calls my lawyer he wants visitation. She probably asked him if he wanted visits, he prolly said "sure" just to look like a good guy. Ok law guardian says it has to be supervised. Well her dad is not comfortable with me supervising (yeah me too- I dont want to put myself in that position for him to accuse me of more crap). So my lawyer suggests some centers-did all the calling etc. His lawyer kept calling my lawyer asking if I would lower the support and only talked about money not the visitation. Visitation hasnt been pushed so I dont know what will come of that.

    Sept went to court had final custody awarded to me(I filed for custody back in March when he was pulling this crap and they combined both dockets into one date) and gave him what visitation he wanted 1 hr every 3 weeks for no less than 6 months. Not sure if they just bring it back into court when those 6 months expire, but he hasnt seen her once since they gave it to him and its been almost 4 months.

    Now he quit job and has a pay cut of $25,000 on his own free will. Filed for reduction and didnt even fill out the whole petition. And hasnt been paying since beginning of Dec. He didnt notify anyone of the change of employer. In his petition, He left the amount he is ordered to pay answer blank. Didnt check the box who the child resides with (pet or resp). And no specifics or proof in his petition.

    If they dont see what he is doing then I dont know what and I will have no faith in the system. He doesnt want to pay anything if he cnat afford "anything" out of that $300 a wk gross pay. I just would like to know how he can afford a mortgage and his cell phone (he didnt put home phone on petition just cell phone) while feeding the family and the "heating season coming up" all on $15,600 gross.

    I will have to tell them I got a second job and I am making more money but he mentions in the petition, "working 6 days on5 days pay no time for my family". I believe he is trying to use that as an additional excuse why he quit. Isnt this irrelevant? He also says his boss was raising his hand to him in front of clients. Umm if my boss/owner was going to hit me, you know id let them and I would sue the company.

    So am I suppose to work 3 jobs while he can have time for his wife and his step kids (or his kids). And I have to have people watch my daughter and her not know either parent.

    Im not on any assistance and cant even qualify for wic, or health insurance. And I would work 3 jobs before going onto family assistance. I am just worried they will not be concerned as long as I am taking care of my child. The people that watch my daughter will not be there forever, they are helping me out and I pay them.
    Last edited by Momto1yrold; 01-08-2006 at 10:00 AM.
  14. #14
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    44,465
    Edit that down if you want people to read it.

Similar Threads

  1. Child support when quitting a job
    By Opipari in forum Child Support
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-17-2008, 12:36 PM
  2. Spousal SUpport during appeal, or modification of child support
    By pamodom in forum Alimony & Spousal Support
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-25-2008, 01:53 PM
  3. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-11-2008, 03:32 PM
  4. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-04-2005, 03:35 PM
  5. How will quitting my job affect my child support?
    By rwill in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-30-2001, 05:58 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.