child support modification, but not at the risk of losing sole decision-making 2

[bluedaffodils]

Colorado - Adams County

I posted this question yesterday, but I think I might have done something wrong, I don't see it anywhere.

We had a very ugly divorce. Negotiated settlement: I would relocate overseas with the kids. I would waive spousal, and give up my car (he already had a car). He would pay a deviated amount of child support, because there would be costly travel expenses incurred by him to visit the kids (he got 30 days visitation per year)

After the dust settled, I did not leave. Got a job, enrolled kids in public school (I had been homeschooling for 4+ years). I have been responsible for everything pertaining to the kids. And I mean everything.
Ex sees them sporadically, 2 nights here, maybe few hours for ice cream there. No set schedule, and never advance notice.

I have filed for a modification of child support, almost a year after the original decree. My motion is based on the fact that there is no reason for the deviation as allowed by the court, since there never were any travel expenses. I also asked for the order to be retroactive to the date of the deviation.

The support is currently 1000. The worksheet I used, with my current financials and his last financials at the time of separation, brings the new amount to almost 2000.

Questions:

1: What are the odds the court will grant my motion, and order retroactive support? I understand that private negotiations are not admissible in court, but child support is always modifiable, if the difference is more than 10%, correct?
2: What are the chances he would win if he filed for joint decision making or joint custody? I am very scared of the joint decision making, as the marriage was abusive, and it would be a means for him to continue to exert control from a distance.



As a side note, to give you an idea of why I am so afraid this will turn ugly again: As soon as he received the documents from me, he had our oldest, who was there at the time, mark an entire calendar, all the way back to January of last year, to show that they are there every weekend, and more. Oldest (12 years old) told me this in confidence, because he felt that it was "weird" that dad could remember all the dates for 12 months.

 

[Proserpina]

Colorado - Adams County

I posted this question yesterday, but I think I might have done something wrong, I don't see it anywhere.

We had a very ugly divorce. Negotiated settlement: I would relocate overseas with the kids. I would waive spousal, and give up my car (he already had a car). He would pay a deviated amount of child support, because there would be costly travel expenses incurred by him to visit the kids (he got 30 days visitation per year)

After the dust settled, I did not leave. Got a job, enrolled kids in public school (I had been homeschooling for 4+ years). I have been responsible for everything pertaining to the kids. And I mean everything.
Ex sees them sporadically, 2 nights here, maybe few hours for ice cream there. No set schedule, and never advance notice.

I have filed for a modification of child support, almost a year after the original decree. My motion is based on the fact that there is no reason for the deviation as allowed by the court, since there never were any travel expenses. I also asked for the order to be retroactive to the date of the deviation.

The support is currently 1000. The worksheet I used, with my current financials and his last financials at the time of separation, brings the new amount to almost 2000.

Questions:

1: What are the odds the court will grant my motion, and order retroactive support? I understand that private negotiations are not admissible in court, but child support is always modifiable, if the difference is more than 10%, correct?
2: What are the chances he would win if he filed for joint decision making or joint custody? I am very scared of the joint decision making, as the marriage was abusive, and it would be a means for him to continue to exert control from a distance.



As a side note, to give you an idea of why I am so afraid this will turn ugly again: As soon as he received the documents from me, he had our oldest, who was there at the time, mark an entire calendar, all the way back to January of last year, to show that they are there every weekend, and more. Oldest (12 years old) told me this in confidence, because he felt that it was "weird" that dad could remember all the dates for 12 months.

1. A retroactive mod will not happen. You may get a modification going forward (or at most backdated to the day you file)
2. Very good.

 

[bluedaffodils]

Thank you for replying.
Could you expand on the legal reasoning behind not granting a retroactive mod?

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for replying.
Could you expand on the legal reasoning behind not granting a retroactive mod?

Because virtually every state prohibits a retroactive mod.

Read.

https://www.courts.state.co.us/Forms/PDF/JDF 1403I Instructions to File Motion to Modify Child Support R3 14 (FINAL).pdf

 

[Silverplum]

thank you for replying.
Could you expand on the legal reasoning behind not granting a retroactive mod?

CO Revised Statutes 10-14-122.

 

[bluedaffodils]

C.R.S. §14-10-131(1): If a motion for modification of a custody decree or a
decree allocating decision-making responsibility has been filed, whether or not it
was granted, no subsequent motion may be filed within two years after
disposition of the prior motion unless the court decides, on the basis of
affidavits, that there is reason to believe that a continuation of the prior decree of
custody or order allocating decision-making responsibility may endanger the
child's physical health or significantly impair the child's emotional development.


I just found this on that link one of the previous posters pasted.
If I am reading this correctly, he cannot file any motions for reallocation of custody or decision-making because it has not been two years since the original decree? (Unless there is some question of endangerment)

 

[Proserpina]

C.R.S. §14-10-131(1): If a motion for modification of a custody decree or a
decree allocating decision-making responsibility has been filed, whether or not it
was granted, no subsequent motion may be filed within two years after
disposition of the prior motion unless the court decides, on the basis of
affidavits, that there is reason to believe that a continuation of the prior decree of
custody or order allocating decision-making responsibility may endanger the
child's physical health or significantly impair the child's emotional development.


I just found this on that link one of the previous posters pasted.
If I am reading this correctly, he cannot file any motions for reallocation of custody or decision-making because it has not been two years since the original decree? (Unless there is some question of endangerment)

He's going to claim there is a significant change of circumstance and that the change requires a custody modification.

Mom, this happens all the time. One parent files for support or more support, the other parent hits back by filing for custody.

 

[SESmama]

But there is a significant change. The OP never moved out of the country. That is huge.

 

[Zigner]

But there is a significant change. The OP never moved out of the country. That is huge.

How do you see something NOT happening as a change in circumstances in the children's lives?

 

[Proserpina]

How do you see something NOT happening as a change in circumstances in the children's lives?

Wrt child support, I see where SES is coming from. Dad got the downward deviation based on Mom leaving the country. That didn't happen, but Dad is still enjoying that deviation.

 

[LdiJ]

Wrt child support, I see where SES is coming from. Dad got the downward deviation based on Mom leaving the country. That didn't happen, but Dad is still enjoying that deviation.

I think that I see it on the custody as well. Mom got sole custody because dad really would not have been available to easily participate in joint decision making, so that also is a significant change in circumstance as well...as he certainly could now.

 

[Zigner]

I think that I see it on the custody as well. Mom got sole custody because dad really would not have been available to easily participate in joint decision making, so that also is a significant change in circumstance as well...as he certainly could now.

...in the lives of the children?

 

[bluedaffodils]

Thank you all for the responses.

Basically the deal he got is he gets to pay a deviation, plus he can see them or not see them as benefits him.

He will go after decision-making and win, according to what I have seen posted so far.

I hate that I cannot prove anything. We had a CFI originally, and it was a heaven-sent for me, because there would be someone who could really see how the kids are at home, but they moved heaven and earth to get that cancelled.

I cannot prove that he doesn't really want the responsibility of raising kids. I cannot prove that we had an abusive relationship and that my hands still shake when I talk to him on the phone. I go to great lengths to avoid running into him, and am planning to move as soon as I am able, so at least we will not be sharing the same grocery store! (He moved across the street from me).


Please humor me one last question:

Can I retract my motion if it seems like he is going to go after all that?

 

[bluedaffodils]

How do you see something NOT happening as a change in circumstances in the children's lives?

And yes, Zigner, I reread your statement. Indeed, NOTHING has changed in their lives.
(besides the divorce upheaval, of course, but I mean, since the court decree, so over a year now)

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you all for the responses.

Basically the deal he got is he gets to pay a deviation, plus he can see them or not see them as benefits him.

He will go after decision-making and win, according to what I have seen posted so far.

I hate that I cannot prove anything. We had a CFI originally, and it was a heaven-sent for me, because there would be someone who could really see how the kids are at home, but they moved heaven and earth to get that cancelled.

I cannot prove that he doesn't really want the responsibility of raising kids. I cannot prove that we had an abusive relationship and that my hands still shake when I talk to him on the phone. I go to great lengths to avoid running into him, and am planning to move as soon as I am able, so at least we will not be sharing the same grocery store! (He moved across the street from me).


Please humor me one last question:

Can I retract my motion if it seems like he is going to go after all that?

You can withdraw your motion. But does the bear, once poked, go back to sleep?

When did Dad move across the street from you?? Important question, do answer.