Child support- no rights

[MI 3]

What is the name of your state?MI, my fiancee has been trying to have visitaion rights with his four children ages now 17, 15, 12, and 10 for almost 3 years since his divorce. His ex has them brainwashed into thinking that they hate there father and he hates them. He loves them so much and this is just about killing him. She has been able to be a stay at home mom since they were born, and he was sort of a workaholic. There has never been abuse of any kind. The system has taken his rights away completely, he cannot send birthday cards or even wave to his children. I know custody and child support are suppose to be different, but does he still have to pay child support for children he can never see or even acknowlege? Thanks for all your help about any of this in advance.

 

[stealth2]

The system has taken his rights away completely, he cannot send birthday cards or even wave to his children. I know custody and child support are suppose to be different, but does he still have to pay child support for children he can never see or even acknowlege? Thanks for all your help about any of this in advance.

This is pretty unusual - what are the circumstances that lead to his being disallowed from contact with his kids? And it would help if HE came and told us.

 

[MI 3]

reply

He asked her for a divorce and I think she was just very mad and wanted the kids for herself. He is just so upset about all of this, I am trying to find some ways to help him through this. Also he was the one who made them do there home work, clean there rooms, do there home work, e.t.c. Since he has been gone the 15 year old has had a MIP. Has gotten her ears pierces 5 times on each side and has her nose pierced. Her grades have dropped to c,d, and f's. from a and b's. The 10 year old has both ears pierced, he is a boy, and has been in trouble stealing.

 

[stealth2]

No, see, that usually doesn't happen. SImply asking for a divorce does NOT preclude Dad from seeing the kids. And if he'd done anything legally to file for visitation, he'd have gotten it unless there was some serious issue. So you've either missed part of the story or he's not telling you something.

 

[MI 3]

Judge

She has them thinking they hate there father, and the judge asked them if they wanted to see him and they said no. This has been unbelievable. The laywers say they have never seen anything like this either, I guess that is why I was trying to look for some other opinions or something to sort out this mess.

 

[MI 3]

Long, long story

Dad asked for divorce in oct 2002. Was told he could have visitation, went to pick up kids, mom said they didn't want to go. Dad talked to kids and they said mom had big day planned for them, to play with the neighbors kids and stuff. Cops were called, cop said he was going to play judge for the day and the kids didn't have to go. Beginning of Dec. dad called mom to see if he could bring over christmas present was told yes. Went over no one was there. Later found out mom brought them to harbor house for 2 weeks. Mom was told by the women there to get a PPO. Judge granted the bogus PPO, filled with lies. Dad did not contest the PPO for a while. The kids were going to get some counceling. Court appointed a woman, was made known from the start that dad suspected brainwashing by mom. Councelor had mom present at all sesions with the kids. Dad did a volentary MMPI 2 which is some kind of mental test, done by a man, had all clinical subcales and facts which to base an opinion. Mom had one done only after a court order, done by a woman, report only says what they woman thought, when asked to reveal the subcales, she said she would not. It has been a long journey, I would hope that the kids wake up soon and realize what they are missing by not having there dad in there lives. My father died when I was 2, I would give anything to have him back and my childrens father died 3 years ago. I would give anything for them to have him. I have 3 children and (the dad) is doing a great job in helping me to raise my kids. I sure wish he could be at ease and see his own also. Thanks so much for reading if you made it this far.

 

[momov3grlz69]

You still are not providing enough info as to why dad was refused any visitation. In NY to have obtained an order of Protection, there had to be 3 instances where police reports were filed against father at the time??? Are you leaving something out...(why didn't he fight Order of Protection in very beginning)....that sort of looks like un-contested and/or abandonment??? What are you looking to do now? If he has "cleaned up" whatever actions lead to this...perhaps he should petition showing cause that there is a change of circumstances...with documentation showing that he is now "fit" to have visitation with his children. Worth a try!? Didn't he try to fight in beginning that mom was perhaps full of cr_p with her allegations??

 

[LdiJ]

Dad asked for divorce in oct 2002. Was told he could have visitation, went to pick up kids, mom said they didn't want to go. Dad talked to kids and they said mom had big day planned for them, to play with the neighbors kids and stuff. Cops were called, cop said he was going to play judge for the day and the kids didn't have to go. Beginning of Dec. dad called mom to see if he could bring over christmas present was told yes. Went over no one was there. Later found out mom brought them to harbor house for 2 weeks. Mom was told by the women there to get a PPO. Judge granted the bogus PPO, filled with lies. Dad did not contest the PPO for a while. The kids were going to get some counceling. Court appointed a woman, was made known from the start that dad suspected brainwashing by mom. Councelor had mom present at all sesions with the kids. Dad did a volentary MMPI 2 which is some kind of mental test, done by a man, had all clinical subcales and facts which to base an opinion. Mom had one done only after a court order, done by a woman, report only says what they woman thought, when asked to reveal the subcales, she said she would not. It has been a long journey, I would hope that the kids wake up soon and realize what they are missing by not having there dad in there lives. My father died when I was 2, I would give anything to have him back and my childrens father died 3 years ago. I would give anything for them to have him. I have 3 children and (the dad) is doing a great job in helping me to raise my kids. I sure wish he could be at ease and see his own also. Thanks so much for reading if you made it this far.

What you are describing CAN happen...but basically only if dad simply rolls over and plays dead.....assuming that you aren't leaving a whole lot out, and/or dad has told you the whole truth.

Your husband needs to consult with an attorney.

 

[somedude]

other issues

Since he has been gone the 15 year old has had a MIP. Has gotten her ears pierces 5 times on each side and has her nose pierced. Her grades have dropped to c,d, and f's. from a and b's. The 10 year old has both ears pierced, he is a boy, and has been in trouble stealing.

Umm, did anyone notice this post??

How is a 10-year old LEGALLY allowed to get their ears pierced -- regardless of sex? Has the kid been busted stealing? And the grades as well. What is the mom doing (if anything) to assist in the grades improving.

Couldn't the dad get copies of their report cards and the police report, if any, to better his chances at sole custody?

Was visitation spelled out during the divorce? If so, and the ex wife is preventing that from happening, she is in contempt.

Regardless, he DOES need an attorney. Getting proof to back up the claims of stealing and grades would help his cause out even more.

 

[stealth2]

How is a 10-year old LEGALLY allowed to get their ears pierced -- regardless of sex?

Uuuuh, a parent consents? My daughter's ears were pierced at 5. And.... go to your local elementary or middle school - lots of boys w/pierced ears. And mohawks, dyed hair, etc.

 

[somedude]

oops, my bad

Oops...I was thinking of tattoos.

 

[stealth2]

hehehehe I was sorta wondering what planet you lived on that a 10yo boy w/an earring was so bizarre! But then, I'm in the metro-NY are, which is bizarre in and of itself, so I'm sure we have more kids with piercings and weird hair than many other places!

And my own kids are about as conservative as they come - long hair and single-pierced ears on the girl, buzz cut on the boy (#4 on top, 2 on the sides) and he wears "I'm a right wing nut job" shirts with cammo pants.

 

[nextwife]

hehehehe I was sorta wondering what planet you lived on that a 10yo boy w/an earring was so bizarre! But then, I'm in the metro-NY are, which is bizarre in and of itself, so I'm sure we have more kids with piercings and weird hair than many other places!

Stealth, it's not weird here in the "heartland" either. While I'm definately not in a "small town", boys or girls sporting an earring is the least of it!

 

[MI 3]

Thanks for all feedback

We live in a very small town, my point about the kids was that they were very smart and put effort into things they did. Dad didn't allow them to get there ears pierced or anything else pierced until he thought they were old enough to make that decision and he made sure they did there homework. The lawyer we have said not to contest the PPO right away, we had so much other stuff on the table, and like I said the kids were going to go to couceling to adjust. The children's laywer knows about all the children's trouble latelty, "she" doesn't seem to have a problem with it. It is so messed up. I feel bad for the kids being stuck in between and having to choose. I know they don't realize it now, but it will impact them in the long run. I wish mom would do the right thing and work things out. She also has not spoken one word to dad since the day she decided to go to the harbor house, instead of letting the kids get christmas present from dad. Thanks everyone for letting me vent a little, I just wish there was something else I could do. Hopefully someday it will work itself out!