Child Support and other questions

[Valkryie]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY

I have a few questions concerning family law and such, I wasn't really sure which place this went so I apologize if there was a more specific place to post this issue.

First, let give me you a run-down of the situation. Two adults married, but living separately for over 3 years. Both have girlfriends now (yes, the mother has a girlfriend now) and custody of the son has not been established. The son lives with the father, however, the mother has been claiming him on foodstamps and such for those 3 years. The father is wanting to get custody established and file for Child Support since the mother does not assist with much with taking care of the boy. Any clothes he gets from her comes from her ex-girlfriends. The father has been fighting with the mother over this issue and she refuses to relinquish the boy from her food stamp case or anything else because she also receives assistance with rent, electricity and medical because the boy is on her case.

My question is how should the father proceed with this issue? Should he file for Child Support or contact a legal person to get divorced and establish custody? If custody is established, it has been agreed that they would do joint custody, however, the mother will fight to be main guardian even though the boy does not live with her. He has contacted the local food stamp office as well to report the mother, however, he has been told that without custody being established and without proof, it is first come first serve. He has the paperwork to file for Child Support, however, he is not certain it will amount to anything if they are still married. Again, they have not lived together for 3 years and the mother has had 3 different girlfriends within that time frame ( if that matters at all). The mother has also had multiple addresses, whereas the father has had one stable address. The only issue is, neither of them currently have a job. The mother had a job through the food stamp office, however, she has been reported on multiple times for her son not living with her, unfortunately, she is able to straighten things out each time for her benefit.
Any advice you can give on this issue would be greatly appreciated.

 

[justalayman]

first, what the mother is doing is outright illegal. Her benefits should be cut off if they are only granted because it is claimed the child lives with her. She could actually go to prison for her current activity.


so, somebody is going to have to file to seek a custody and visitation order and along with that, a child support order.

He has the paperwork to file for Child Support, however, he is not certain it will amount to anything if they are still married

it will amount to a lot starting with custody being determined through the courts. The courts are not going to order child support until they know who the child is to reside with as that is a major part of the calculations for child support.

and no, the welfare office can take action if the child is not living with her. You are required to attest to that when you file for benefits. If she claimed the child does live with her, regardless of what any court order says or doesn't say about custody, she has committed fraud.


Even if she has actual physical custody per a courts order, if the child does not live with her, and I mean actually physically lives with her, claiming the child for purposes of welfare benefits is fraud.

 

[single317dad]

It's a pretty clear case of welfare fraud, but good luck getting anywhere with that. I've been fighting a similar situation myself up in Indiana for years. It took me over a year with a custody order in my hand to get TANF stopped and I'm still convincing them I shouldn't be responsible for paying it back. What my ex is doing is felony welfare fraud (over $25k); that number changes to 50k next year, and shes approaching that mark. No one at the state level cares.

The father should immediately file for divorce, primary custody, and child support, and when granted take those orders to the local welfare office to get the benefits stopped.

 

[stealth2]

Interesting... A year ago, it was Dad who'd done this... Want to tell us the REAL story?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/what-can-i-do-580318.html

 

[Valkryie]

This is the REAL story. Did I say that it was me in this situation? No I did not. I'm just trying to find some answers for a friend of mine who shouldn't have to be dealing with that kind of BS from his ex or wife or however you want to look at it. They have let it go on for too long and I have a feeling it's going to blow up in their faces when someone actually does get around to doing something. The woman thinks she deserves everything that has to do with the kid simply because that's the only way she can get medical assistance. In my opinion, that's not right. The system needs to be fixed so that the person who actually has the kid, is able to get the benefits if they need them. All people have to do is SAY this person lives here and, poof, you get benefits for them. I think if the mother and father have separate addresses and there is no custody order, then they should have to provide more than just a statement indicating the child lives with them for proof. Situations like this irritate me and I was just trying get some information.

 

[TheGeekess]

This is the REAL story. Did I say that it was me in this situation? No I did not. I'm just trying to find some answers for a friend of mine who shouldn't have to be dealing with that kind of BS from his ex or wife or however you want to look at it. They have let it go on for too long and I have a feeling it's going to blow up in their faces when someone actually does get around to doing something. The woman thinks she deserves everything that has to do with the kid simply because that's the only way she can get medical assistance. In my opinion, that's not right. The system needs to be fixed so that the person who actually has the kid, is able to get the benefits if they need them. All people have to do is SAY this person lives here and, poof, you get benefits for them. I think if the mother and father have separate addresses and there is no custody order, then they should have to provide more than just a statement indicating the child lives with them for proof. Situations like this irritate me and I was just trying get some information.

Alrighty then.

 

[anearthw]

If these two can't get their act together for themselves and this poor boy, what makes you think you are going to help fix it?

Let me guess - you are dad's girlfriend?

 

[anearthw]

Oh, you used to be mom. And now you are a friend?

 

[Isis1]

OP, there is something seriously missing from your story.

you say mom has been collecting state funds for 3 years? you are legally married?

regardless of where the child lives, the state would have slapped a child support order on you ages ago.

either there is something you are withholding....or you are completely assuming mom is doing and she isn't.

 

[stealth2]

This is the REAL story. Did I say that it was me in this situation? No I did not. I'm just trying to find some answers for a friend of mine who shouldn't have to be dealing with that kind of BS from his ex or wife or however you want to look at it. They have let it go on for too long and I have a feeling it's going to blow up in their faces when someone actually does get around to doing something. The woman thinks she deserves everything that has to do with the kid simply because that's the only way she can get medical assistance. In my opinion, that's not right. The system needs to be fixed so that the person who actually has the kid, is able to get the benefits if they need them. All people have to do is SAY this person lives here and, poof, you get benefits for them. I think if the mother and father have separate addresses and there is no custody order, then they should have to provide more than just a statement indicating the child lives with them for proof. Situations like this irritate me and I was just trying get some information.

Well, actually, this is apparently the story you have been told. That does not mean it is the real story. That's for starters. To continue, a year ago you posted this same story, but as though it was Dad committing the egregious acts you now accuse Mom of. Can you understand why your credibility is somewhat suspect? And now, it turns out that you're not even a party to the case.

So, please, lose the attitude and ask the actual parent (whichever one it actually is with the kid) to create their own account and post their own issue and question. Thank you.