Child Support post-adoption

[tlcmine]

California

My son's former girlfriend is getting married and wants him to relinquish parental rights so her husband-to-be can adopt their son.

Would he still owe child support after the adoption was final? Would he still owe any amount still in arrears? Or does the fact of adoption negate any obligation he may have to the child?

Thank you for any assistance you can provide.

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by tlcmine

California

My son's former girlfriend is getting married and wants him to relinquish parental rights so her husband-to-be can adopt their son.

Would he still owe child support after the adoption was final? Would he still owe any amount still in arrears? Or does the fact of adoption negate any obligation he may have to the child?

Thank you for any assistance you can provide.

Poor kid

[tlcmine]

My son is military, lives in a different state than his son and the ex-girlfriend won't let him see or talk to the kid anyway. She intercepts all the mail or gifts he sends to the kid and just pretends my son doesn't exist. He's just a far-away source of some income for her. He has no relationship with his son, and can't have any under the circumstances.

By "poor kid" you should have meant my son who's been victimized by this girl's selfishness.

The question again, if this other guy adopts the little boy, does my son still have to pay child support and/or arrears?

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by tlcmine

My son is military, lives in a different state than his son and the ex-girlfriend won't let him see or talk to the kid anyway. She intercepts all the mail or gifts he sends to the kid and just pretends my son doesn't exist. He's just a far-away source of some income for her. He has no relationship with his son, and can't have any under the circumstances.

By "poor kid" you should have meant my son who's been victimized by this girl's selfishness.

The question again, if this other guy adopts the little boy, does my son still have to pay child support and/or arrears?

So why hasn't your son manned up and gone for court ordered visitation/custody? Why hasn't he enforced the rights as a parent and decided to be there?

By poor kid, your grandson is the one who is meant. Because your son is an adult. YOUR SON has legal options to get visitation and have a relationship with his child if he decided to MAN UP and do so. He apparently though figures he doesn't have to be a man and can just walk away. He will still owe arrears up to and including the day the adoption is finalized. I feel for your grandson. NOT your son who is supposedly an adult and could be a father if HE CHOSE TO BE ONE. For how much is your son walking away, just out of curiosity? I would love to know the going rate for a child -- his child support is what per month?

[tlcmine]

My son is not IN California, where the child and the former girlfriend are. His stationed in another state about a thousand miles away. He can't exactly "man up" and fix that. The girlfriend moved back to California while she was pregnant, and my son is on active duty in the military, stationed in a different state. He has not been available (military, remember) due to training and exercises, and can't just get time off to fly out to CA every couple of weeks or so. He paid to have paternity testing done (over $400) and took his part of the test. The girlfriend refused to have the kid tested. My son asked the state to order the testing, but they have not yet responded.

If you are going to engage in a judgemental rant and not give any useful advice, just save it. One would think there'd be a little more support for a member of our armed forces who's trying to figure out what to do.

[RRevak]

Originally Posted by tlcmine

My son is not IN California, where the child and the former girlfriend are. His stationed in another state about a thousand miles away. He can't exactly "man up" and fix that. The girlfriend moved back to California while she was pregnant, and my son is on active duty in the military, stationed in a different state. He has not been available (military, remember) due to training and exercises, and can't just get time off to fly out to CA every couple of weeks or so. He paid to have paternity testing done (over $400) and took his part of the test. The girlfriend refused to have the kid tested. My son asked the state to order the testing, but they have not yet responded.

If you are going to engage in a judgemental rant and not give any useful advice, just save it. One would think there'd be a little more support for a member of our armed forces who's trying to figure out what to do.

That poor child that dad cant be inconvenienced to be a dad and instead chooses to whine and walk away. Hate to break it to you but you wont get much support here in those respects. My older brother is also in the special armed forces (Psychological Operations to be exact) and despite being perpetually gone he managed to "man up" and get his situation with his child taken care of. Your son is a weenie if he thinks that just being in another state and in the military means he is poo out of luck when it comes to getting his side of HIS child taken care of. You should also feel ashamed for encouraging him to behave like this. You should instead be telling your son (and yourself as well) to stop whining and get his butt to court and take care of his child rather than sell him to the ex's new bedwarmer.

[tlcmine]

You people are hopeless. You just want to bash all the guys and assume they're "trying to get out" of something. The court could order he has the absolute right to 50% visitation, but how is he going to visit a baby a thousand miles away? The court did order a huge amount of child support (CA remember?) that's actually about 33% of his take home pay. So he has to pay to support a child he can't even talk to on the phone. He sent pictures of himself, and letters to the child, and the ex tore everything up and threw it away. He is not able to have a "relationship" with this child BECAUSE HE IS STATIONED ELSEWHERE. I don't see how that constitutes "walking away." SHE is the one who left HIM. He can't just skip out of his duty station and disappear. He has asked the courts for help, to determine paternity, to order shared custody, but that's not what has happened.

NOW she tells him she wants this other guy to adopt the kid, thereby ensuring he'll never see the kid again.

The question, and THE ONLY question to which I would really like an answer, is, for the third time: If he consents to this guy adopting his son, is he still legally obligated to pay 1) child support and 2) arrears.

If you don't know, don't bother to answer. This forum is for "free legal advice" not for bashing our servicemen.

[RRevak]

Originally Posted by tlcmine

You people are hopeless. You just want to bash all the guys and assume they're "trying to get out" of something. The court could order he has the absolute right to 50% visitation, but how is he going to visit a baby a thousand miles away? The court did order a huge amount of child support (CA remember?) that's actually about 33% of his take home pay. So he has to pay to support a child he can't even talk to on the phone. He sent pictures of himself, and letters to the child, and the ex tore everything up and threw it away. He is not able to have a "relationship" with this child BECAUSE HE IS STATIONED ELSEWHERE. I don't see how that constitutes "walking away." SHE is the one who left HIM. He can't just skip out of his duty station and disappear. He has asked the courts for help, to determine paternity, to order shared custody, but that's not what has happened.

NOW she tells him she wants this other guy to adopt the kid, thereby ensuring he'll never see the kid again.

The question, and THE ONLY question to which I would really like an answer, is, for the third time: If he consents to this guy adopting his son, is he still legally obligated to pay 1) child support and 2) arrears.

If you don't know, don't bother to answer. This forum is for "free legal advice" not for bashing our servicemen.

I have EVERY respect for servicemen...the majority of my family (both biological as well as the in laws) are in fact military and have been for decades...so dont play that card as to me its almost insulting. The bottom line is your son just doesnt want to be bothered. He COULD have gone to court and gotten the necessary orders to have even SOME visitation. Visitation that would have WORKED with his military orders rather than hinder them. The court would have WORKED with him to ensure that the travel time between where he is located and where mom is located would have been fair to both parties given his circumstances. Basically, the court would have WORKED with your son to give him a chance to be a father to a child that is half HIS. But instead of pursuing this, you instead come to whine about everything that was done by the ex (things that could have been taken care of) and how he can give up and get out of that whopping child support you mentioned.

[tlcmine]

The baby in question is not 15 years old. He's one. My son does not live in a state that has subject matter or personal jurisdiction over the ex or the baby. He has been ON ORDERS and could NOT go to court until just recently, which he DID. He asked for paternity testing and visitation. NO and NO.

I'm not whining, and your bullying won't change that. HE'S not even here to defend himself, so your repeated insults are for your own amusement.

The ex is unemployed, my son is very low-ranking...they don't have the money to state thousand mile visitation trips.

This girl does not want him in her life or her son's. She wants to marry someone else and have him adopt the kid. That guy is military too...different branch. So when her new husband ends up stationed in...say, GUAM, and my son is in...Germany, how exactly would visitation go for a two year old?

Why can you not seem to understand that?

My son just wants to know if he has to pay child support after the adoption is final.

That is the only question.

Apparently, you have absolutely NO knowledge of the legal issues involved, and "your family members" being military means spit to me. I'm military myself, as is my husband, so don't get all uppity about your "respect."

You came here to bash and rant and not to offer legitimate advice. Probably because you have way more opinions than you have knowledge.

[TheGeekess]

He will not be responsible for paying CS once Mom has been married for a year or so and a step-parent adoption is finalized. However, he will owe arrears and he does have to pay CS until the adoption is finalized. After an adoption, your son will have no son and no legal responsibilities, other than paying off the arrearages.

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by tlcmine

The baby in question is not 15 years old. He's one. My son does not live in a state that has subject matter or personal jurisdiction over the ex or the baby. He has been ON ORDERS and could NOT go to court until just recently, which he DID. He asked for paternity testing and visitation. NO and NO.

I'm not whining, and your bullying won't change that. HE'S not even here to defend himself, so your repeated insults are for your own amusement.

The ex is unemployed, my son is very low-ranking...they don't have the money to state thousand mile visitation trips.

This girl does not want him in her life or her son's. She wants to marry someone else and have him adopt the kid. That guy is military too...different branch. So when her new husband ends up stationed in...say, GUAM, and my son is in...Germany, how exactly would visitation go for a two year old?

Why can you not seem to understand that?

My son just wants to know if he has to pay child support after the adoption is final.

That is the only question.

Apparently, you have absolutely NO knowledge of the legal issues involved, and "your family members" being military means spit to me. I'm military myself, as is my husband, so don't get all uppity about your "respect."

You came here to bash and rant and not to offer legitimate advice. Probably because you have way more opinions than you have knowledge.

Poor kid - such a burden.

[LdiJ]

An adoption stops all current child support. It does not automatically take away existing arrearages, but the mother could waive the arrearages as part of the termination case.

I really do think however, that if your son does this he will regret it in the future.

[tlcmine]

Fine...no one knows the answer. You could have saved me a whole lot of time by just admitting that.

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by tlcmine

Fine...no one knows the answer. You could have saved me a whole lot of time by just admitting that.

Uh...you've had your correct legal answer....

More than once.

[tlcmine]

[url=http://stepparent.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/will-my-child-support-end-if-i-give-my-c]Will My Child Support End if I Give My Child Up For Adoption? — Stepparent Adoption[/url]

Thanks for nothing folks. The answers for anyone who cares, are:
1) Adoption by a third party ends all child support obligations from the time of the adoption forward.
2) Amounts in arrears are not forgiven by adoption.

Wow...should have just kept looking.

Thanks so much for all the positive assistance and charming attitude. You all have a lovely, lovely evening.