Child Support Question

[BarrFamily]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

My husband is in the Military. His ex moved to SC so we got transferred to NC to be closer to his daughter then she moved back to GA. He pays $700 in child support , his ex doesn't work and recently had a child with her fiance. I also do not work and we just had a little boy. Don't get me wrong I love my step-daughter like she was my own but with the new baby we are having a hard time making ends meet. Is there anyway to get his child support lowered. It just doesn't seem fair that one child is more important then the other.

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

My husband is in the Military. His ex moved to SC so we got transferred to NC to be closer to his daughter then she moved back to GA. He pays $700 in child support , his ex doesn't work and recently had a child with her fiance. I also do not work and we just had a little boy. Don't get me wrong I love my step-daughter like she was my own but with the new baby we are having a hard time making ends meet. Is there anyway to get his child support lowered. It just doesn't seem fair that one child is more important then the other.

You should have figured dad's income, minus the child support as the money you and new kid have to play with.

Its not about one child being more important, its about one child having a COURT ORDER for support. That will go nothing but up. YOU can't change that, because YOU aren't a party to that case.

You should have thought of making ends meet before you made baby #2. Now you do what ALL families do - and become frugal. Go to the thrift store, shop generic, subscribe to freecycle.

And don't knock other mom for not working. Maybe since times are so tight, YOU should get off your rear and work.

 

[BarrFamily]

I looked into daycare here and if i went back to work it would cover the cost of daycare thank you very much. And we are frugul we pay the bills, buy food and only things when need to live. We don't have a fancy house we moved into a small apartment because it was cheaper, we bought a cheap car so we wouldn't have a car payment. And why should I not be able to have a child and provide for him because my husband's ex wife left him.

 

[Humusluvr]

I looked into daycare here and if i went back to work it would cover the cost of daycare thank you very much. And we are frugul we pay the bills, buy food and only things when need to live. We don't have a fancy house we moved into a small apartment because it was cheaper, we bought a cheap car so we wouldn't have a car payment. And why should I not be able to have a child and provide for him because my husband's ex wife left him.

YOU can provide for your son whatever you want.

But dad's money goes for his first child's COURT ORDER.

You knew there was a court order when you made new baby. You knew what dad's expenses were. Poor planning on your part does not constitute money yanked from first child's support order.

 

[CourtClerk]

And why should I not be able to have a child and provide for him because my husband's ex wife left him.

You have the right to have as many children as your little heart desires. I agree with you on that. You do not, however, have the right to whine and/or complain about your husband's financial obligations that pre-date both you and your mutual child. Humus is correct, when you were doing your family planning, you should have planned on the child support continuing to be paid (and possibly going up in the future years) until this child is emancipated.

 

[BarrFamily]

I'm not whining or complaining. I see the look in my husband eyes when he is playing with his daughter or holding our son. I also see the look in his eyes when he wants to buy something for his children and can't because he has no money or trying to find the extra $200 to drive to GA to get his daughter. I was trying to find a way so both children where provided for so my husband didn't fill like a failure. And we did plan and we knew we really couldn't afford it and things would be tight but try telling your husband we can't have a child because you already have one you get to see once a month.

 

[AHA]

And we did plan and we knew we really couldn't afford it and things would be tight but try telling your husband we can't have a child because you already have one you get to see once a month.

The voluntary choices were still present, so now there are consequences to pay that you both were very aware of. I want a huge house, vacation homes all over the world, more cars, a cleaning lady and a cook, but I can't afford that, so I choose to not even pretend I can get any of those things.
Move closer to his first child if the drive is so difficult.

 

[dallas03]

I feel your frustration...

I completely see where you are coming from and I have a similar situation. It sucks that she moved away after you guys moved closer to her in the first place. It sounds like something she is doing to be rotten and unfair to the first child and their father.

In some states I know that when a man has to support more than one of his children, his CS obligations for the first child do go down. I have a friend in NC and that's exactly what happened. His income is still the same, and while he has a new baby that he has to support, he doesn't have more money. Just like any family, when a new member enters the family, the income doesn't go up, the family just has to split the income between more children.

However, still being with him might not be the same deal. Maybe take him to court for child support on the child you share. The court will have to ration his income between both of his children, which would be lower for his first child.

Then get back with him. Some courts require to see how you spend the money on the child, but if your rent is paid with the money, most courts say that's an appropriate way to spend the money. And of course you will also spend money on the baby for diapers and all, so you wouldn't be a terrible person. You would just be ensuring that his income be shared between both of his children equally.

Just like a family that has never been split up...that first child is spoiled, but the more children that enter that family, the less spoiled that first child becomes.

I love my step daughter as well, and I am having problems building my own family, because of her mom, and her chuld support as well. I am unable to work due to an injury, and she refuses to get her GED or get out of that fast food restaurant, because she admittedly wants to receive money instead of working hard for herself.

A lot of ex's try to make things harder when they are no longer in the relationship, and especially when someone new is in the picture.

But look into it to be sure, if you think it might work, try it.
I wouldn't be too shy to try to get child support for my child even if I was planning to stay with the father. The court doesn't need to know that.

 

[Farfalla]

.... I am unable to work due to an injury, ....

In your first post you said that you were in a high paying career????????//

 

[Neal1421]

I completely see where you are coming from and I have a similar situation. It sucks that she moved away after you guys moved closer to her in the first place. It sounds like something she is doing to be rotten and unfair to the first child and their father.

In some states I know that when a man has to support more than one of his children, his CS obligations for the first child do go down. I have a friend in NC and that's exactly what happened. His income is still the same, and while he has a new baby that he has to support, he doesn't have more money. Just like any family, when a new member enters the family, the income doesn't go up, the family just has to split the income between more children.

However, still being with him might not be the same deal. Maybe take him to court for child support on the child you share. The court will have to ration his income between both of his children, which would be lower for his first child. Please stop responding to people, you have no clue what you are talking about. You are wrong. It wouldn't necessarily mean that it would lower the support that he is paying for the first child.

Then get back with him. Some courts require to see how you spend the money on the child, but if your rent is paid with the money, most courts say that's an appropriate way to spend the money. And of course you will also spend money on the baby for diapers and all, so you wouldn't be a terrible person. You would just be ensuring that his income be shared between both of his children equally. Wrong again. The courts do not require that you show how child support is spent.

Just like a family that has never been split up...that first child is spoiled, but the more children that enter that family, the less spoiled that first child becomes. Wow, I'd hate to be in your family if that's how you treat kids.

I love my step daughter as well, and I am having problems building my own family, because of her mom, and her chuld support as well. I am unable to work due to an injury, and she refuses to get her GED or get out of that fast food restaurant, because she admittedly wants to receive money instead of working hard for herself. As another person stated, you said you had a high paying job and that your boyfriend was the one not working???

A lot of ex's try to make things harder when they are no longer in the relationship, and especially when someone new is in the picture.

But look into it to be sure, if you think it might work, try it.
I wouldn't be too shy to try to get child support for my child even if I was planning to stay with the father. The court doesn't need to know that.

You do realize that is fraud, right?

 

[payyourcs]

Dallas- You are but one of the reasons our child support system needs to be revamped. No respect. Words cannot express my anger towards your post. The first family created should not be harmed financially by a second family. Period. I don't care who do what to whom. Who left whom and why. The first kid or kids on the first family take priority. Why take away from one to give to one that happened after the fact??? So not right. It's not the first kids problem that another kid was created. And to suggest defrauding the court system to get more money is another show of why our legal system needs to toughen up. Your suggestion would be revealed in time to those kids and they would have nothing but hatred or anger for one that would do that to their family.
I was a single mother of 2 and had no help financially from the father as he is a total deadbeat. I paid daycare for 2 kids while working. I got paid $8.00 per hour and made it. If I can do it, anyone can. It's a matter of using your brain and finding what works. I relied on noone but myself as I didn't have much of a choice. My deadbeat had a child with another woman (the one he cheated on me with). So I know all about the second family and all. Now she is in the same boat I am-HA. Good for her. He is so far behind in child support that when he does pay something, it gets divided equally between me and "the other woman". In my opinion, she shouldn't get a dime as she knew what she was getting into.
What comes around will go around.
As far as not working goes and staying home... Well you should think about what your gonna get when it's time to collect social security upon retirement. Cause you ain't putting nothing into your account sitting on your butt. Just a thought

 

[proud_parent]

Dallas- {etc.}

Please don't encourage hijackers.

 

[dallas03]

In your first post you said that you were in a high paying career????????//

Indeed. The career is high paying. Do you think I'm going to sit around for the rest of my life collecting Work Comp? Well, I'm not. I'm getting my back fixed, and going back to my life and MY CAREER!

 

[dallas03]

Dallas- You are but one of the reasons our child support system needs to be revamped. No respect. Words cannot express my anger towards your post. The first family created should not be harmed financially by a second family. Period. I don't care who do what to whom. Who left whom and why. The first kid or kids on the first family take priority. Why take away from one to give to one that happened after the fact??? So not right. It's not the first kids problem that another kid was created.

What happened to your first kid after you had your second? It's not your first kid's problem that you had another one. So, did you get a second job to provide for the second kid so that they could have their own set of income?

I mean, you don't want to take anything away from your first born, correct? Did your first child still get toys as often as he did before the second child was born, did they get as many gifts for christmas, did they get as much clothes and shoes after the second baby was born? Or did the first born get a little bit less because diapers can get expensive, and daycare for the new baby is now added into your bills?

It's a fact in most cases, when another child is born, the income usually gets split up between however many children are in the family.
It shouldn't be any different when one parent creates another child with another person. Bosses don't give raises just because someone gets pregnant. You have the same job, and same income but more children to provide for. Naturally, the income has to be split up between the new number of children.


I know for a FACT that this happens in court because it happened to me. I have twins that are ordered to receive child support, but the amount is altered when the father has another child with another woman. He makes the same pay, but now has 3 children to support, and the court took from the first family, to give a fair amount to the new family so that the three children receive the same support from their father.


Barrfamily wanted a family with the man who has another child to support, but shouldn't be frowned upon, or judged unfairly, because people have second children all the time, and just split the income with everyone in the house. They struggle to make ends meet, but they don't let the new baby go without their essentials to make sure that the first child continues to receive every thing they did before.

The first child has to share when there is a new child. They don't just share toys, they share everything...maybe their room, food, love, and even child's support.

And to suggest defrauding the court system to get more money is another show of why our legal system needs to toughen up. Your suggestion would be revealed in time to those kids and they would have nothing but hatred or anger for one that would do that to their family.

So the children would hate their dad for bringing in new life to the world? probably, but most first born children do. They tend hate the new baby until they become less spoiled.

I was a single mother of 2 and had no help financially from the father as he is a total deadbeat. I paid daycare for 2 kids while working. I got paid $8.00 per hour and made it. If I can do it, anyone can. It's a matter of using your brain and finding what works. I relied on noone but myself as I didn't have much of a choice. My deadbeat had a child with another woman (the one he cheated on me with). So I know all about the second family and all. Now she is in the same boat I am-HA. Good for her. He is so far behind in child support that when he does pay something, it gets divided equally between me and "the other woman". In my opinion, she shouldn't get a dime as she knew what she was getting into.

She's not the one to be looking at. She's not the one that the dime is going towards, it the new baby, who had no choice as to what they were being brought into. Maybe you should have made a better choice as to who you let get you pregnant. Maybe someone who wouldn't run off.

What comes around will go around.
As far as not working goes and staying home... Well you should think about what your gonna get when it's time to collect social security upon retirement. Cause you ain't putting nothing into your account sitting on your butt. Just a thought

Well, give it some more thought...Work Comp. I will be receiving, then working again. Don't you worry about my butt and how much money it's sitting on.




Kudos on being a single mom with 2, and making it through.