Child Support Question

[jnel921]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I have 2 kids with my exH. When we divorced part of the filings was that he pay $150 a week for both kids. This was 18 years ago and this was never modified in a family court as we had a very volatile relationship over the years and the less I had to deal with him the better. He also had them under his medical insurance. A few years ago he was fired from his job and I had to pick up the insurance. He continued paying the $600 a month and now that my daughter who is 17 is starting college he refuses to help me with this. I have only asked him to help pay for books and not tuition as I can pay this myself. He sent me a nasty text saying that he didn't have to give me anything outside of the money he does and that if he does I should consider it a gift. I am not sure what to do as I know many years have gone by and I accepted whatever he gave me and made sure I was successful in my own right never to need him. I have paid, medical, dental, auto insurance, college tuition out of my own pocket. I feel that as a man he needs to step up and do more for his kids and stop thinking that he shouldn't have to even if it means taking him to court so that the law can remind him of his obligation even if it is for a few books. I don't know what my rights are as of now. If there is a statute of limitation in regards to support. This has been frustrating and if I cannot go to a family court for this, should I go to small claims? Thank you in advance for any helpful advice.

 

[stealth2]

He is not obligated to pay anything beyond what he is ordered to. You can file to modify, but it will not be retroactive past (possibly) the date you file Since in NY cs goes to 21, use that extra to pay for kiddo's books.

 

[jnel921]

He is not obligated to pay anything beyond what he is ordered to. You can file to modify, but it will not be retroactive past (possibly) the date you file Since in NY cs goes to 21, use that extra to pay for kiddo's books.

That order was 18 years ago. Can I still modify this? What will they consider at this point? his salary, my salary? we have both remarried.

 

[Proserpina]

That order was 18 years ago. Can I still modify this? What will they consider at this point? his salary, my salary? we have both remarried.

It will not be retroactive 18 years. As stealth said, it will be retro only from the date you file to modify - IF that.

His salary only is the standard in NY at the moment.

Your decision to not do anything before now is yours only.

 

[stealth2]

Sure, you can file to modify. No one can tell you how/if it will end up.

 

[Eekamouse]

And really, your kids should be working to help pay for their college themselves. It's not impossible to work and attend college at the same time.

 

[Silverplum]

What happened last October when you first registered here on FA?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I have 2 kids with my exH. When we divorced part of the filings was that he pay $150 a week for both kids. This was 18 years ago and this was never modified in a family court as we had a very volatile relationship over the years and the less I had to deal with him the better. He also had them under his medical insurance. A few years ago he was fired from his job and I had to pick up the insurance. He continued paying the $600 a month and now that my daughter who is 17 is starting college he refuses to help me with this. I have only asked him to help pay for books and not tuition as I can pay this myself. He sent me a nasty text saying that he didn't have to give me anything outside of the money he does and that if he does I should consider it a gift. I am not sure what to do as I know many years have gone by and I accepted whatever he gave me and made sure I was successful in my own right never to need him. I have paid, medical, dental, auto insurance, college tuition out of my own pocket. I feel that as a man he needs to step up and do more for his kids and stop thinking that he shouldn't have to even if it means taking him to court so that the law can remind him of his obligation even if it is for a few books. I don't know what my rights are as of now. If there is a statute of limitation in regards to support. This has been frustrating and if I cannot go to a family court for this, should I go to small claims? Thank you in advance for any helpful advice.

https://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/diy/supportmodification.shtml

 

[jnel921]

It will not be retroactive 18 years. As stealth said, it will be retro only from the date you file to modify - IF that.

His salary only is the standard in NY at the moment.

Your decision to not do anything before now is yours only.

Thanks, yes I am not looking to get any retroactive money and not doing a modification before was my choice. But due to the higher costs now, I cant see how doing this on my own is fair which is why I contacted him to discuss and instead of him offing he gave me a lot of crap and telling me he had no obligation. They live with me and how is it I cannot say that I don't want to be a parent and stop supporting them.

I am sure that together can afford to put our daughter through college as neither of us qualify for financial aid and I cant even claim this on my taxes. But he has chosen not to and all I asked him to pay for was books and got a lot of nasty talk when I did.

 

[Silverplum]

Thanks, yes I am not looking to get any retroactive money and not doing a modification before was my choice. But due to the higher costs now, I cant see how doing this on my own is fair which is why I contacted him to discuss and instead of him offing he gave me a lot of crap and telling me he had no obligation. They live with me and how is it I cannot say that I don't want to be a parent and stop supporting them.

I am sure that together can afford to put our daughter through college as neither of us qualify for financial aid and I cant even claim this on my taxes. But he has chosen not to and all I asked him to pay for was books and got a lot of nasty talk when I did.

Dad's correct, legally. Doesn't matter if it's fair or not. That's why we suggest you file for a modification.

 

[jnel921]

And really, your kids should be working to help pay for their college themselves. It's not impossible to work and attend college at the same time.

Right now kids work and pay for cell phone, gas to get to school and work and help me with car insurance. That's all they can afford working at Applebee's. One kid is a server assistant and the other a host, she makes $5 an hour and tips. I bought another car for them to share. We live in the suburbs in a house.

 

[Proserpina]

Right now kids work and pay for cell phone, gas to get to school and work and help me with car insurance. That's all they can afford working at Applebee's. One kid is a server assistant and the other a host, she makes $5 an hour and tips. I bought another car for them to share. We live in the suburbs in a house.

Doesn't change the responses.

You sat on this for far, far too long.

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks, yes I am not looking to get any retroactive money and not doing a modification before was my choice. But due to the higher costs now, I cant see how doing this on my own is fair which is why I contacted him to discuss and instead of him offing he gave me a lot of crap and telling me he had no obligation. They live with me and how is it I cannot say that I don't want to be a parent and stop supporting them.

Let's separate those two things. The first, is that you feel it's unfair. The second is that he's correct - he had no obligation. Then again both of those things originate in your yard, not his.

I am sure that together can afford to put our daughter through college as neither of us qualify for financial aid and I cant even claim this on my taxes. But he has chosen not to and all I asked him to pay for was books and got a lot of nasty talk when I did.

He's chosen not to because he has no obligation to contribute anything other than what the court ordered him to pay.

Is it nice of him to do that? Eh, court isn't about what's nice. He's perfectly within his legal rights though nevertheless.

 

[jnel921]

What happened last October when you first registered here on FA?

Hello, I am not sure what I posted about at that time if I did. At that time I may have asked about modifications since my son was starting college as well. My exH did pay for his books at that time and was agreeable to my daughters HS senior year expenses. My son has stopped going to college in January of this year and is working with a recruiter to join the air force.

My exH has been difficult for the last several months and refuses to do anything else outside of the original court order. The court order did say that he was to provide insurance and he has not done so in the past 3 years.

 

[jnel921]

https://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/diy/supportmodification.shtml

Thanks for this. I really appreciate it.