child support question

[wheeler74]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I went through a divorce back in July 2012. Our divorce was quick and easy
and we both agreed it was for our best. We didnt argue about anything. We
had two children that met the requirements for child support to be paid. My
ex filed for divorce and I paid the filing fee. She listed both children to
be paid the recommended child support to her. At this time my daughter
tried to commit suicid. Her wish was to be with me. From that point on she
lived with me. Her mother and I agreed to the fact that if I had one child
and she had the other child there would be no reason to have child support.

Our daughter lived with me for three plus years. She turns 18 in a few
weeks, Dec 16. Back in July of 2015 our son turned 18 and was graduated
from school. I knew that I could at that point ask her for child support
but chose not to. Mainly becuse i didnt want to deal with her mother and
felt i could manage it on my own and didnt want to create a hardship for
her.

My daughter and I moved to CA in june of 2015. She decided to move back to
WA in april 2016. She moved in with her mom. Her mom asked if i could
financially. She asked this through my daughter before she moved up ther, I
agreed. As soon as my daughter moved in she started demanding that i pay
child support. I did the best i could but was not able to send the full
amount.

My ex randomly sent me a nice text but mentioned that she registered with
DCS. I wasnt sure what that intitled and honestly frustrated me since I
never insisted on her paying me. I had been sending money to her and I also
to my daughter weekly, once she moved in. I communicated my frustration
that i couldnt send more. She told me that what ever i could send would be
helpful. when I recieved the paperwork it listed that I owe for the entire
time we have been divorced for my son, and back pay for the last 5 months
for our daughter. I talked to the case worker and he said that all she
needed to do was to write a letter saying that the child support was a
wash, being that each of us had a child. He said that she should only be
asking for a balance from the time our daughter moved in with her. she
refused to do this unless i agreed to paying some credit card bills that I
was suppose to pay after our divorce and to not push the fact that she
should of been paying me 8 months worth of child support before our dughter
came to live with her. I told her I wouldnt do that. She said that she
wouldnt send the letter.

I dont want any money from her and I dont mind helping her even pass the
point of my daughter being 18. Im not sure what to do?

 

[not2cleverRed]

For clarification: your divorce (and therefore all court orders) are out of WA, not CA.

Since you are divorced, there must be a divorce decree. Does your divorce decree reflect your verbal agreement? Or does the divorce decree address child support based on Mom having physical custody of both children?

If the latter is the case, and you never went back for a modification to reflect the actual status quo, then you might be stuck, especially if there was debt you agreed to pay off and still haven't.

 

[LdiJ]

For clarification: your divorce (and therefore all court orders) are out of WA, not CA.

Since you are divorced, there must be a divorce decree. Does your divorce decree reflect your verbal agreement? Or does the divorce decree address child support based on Mom having physical custody of both children?

If the latter is the case, and you never went back for a modification to reflect the actual status quo, then you might be stuck, especially if there was debt you agreed to pay off and still haven't.

I agree with this and will add that if there was credit card debt that you were supposed to pay according to the divorce, and you did not do so, then I kind of don't blame mom for using whatever leverage she has to get you to pay.