Child Support Uses

[N_S]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Hi. I have been divorced since 09 and have been recieveing Child Support consistantly ever since. At the time of the divorce I was working, but shortly after I was layed off. I have only used the child support make sure my daughter has all of her needs and to pay my phone bill, that I cannot pay with just my free lance jobs I get here and there. The phone bill is the main source of communication between my child and her father. He is now trying to take me back to court to rearrange custodialagreement because of it, saying i'm treating the child support like alamony. I'm freaking out, because she's my entire world, that would break me. Is it wrong use to pay my phone bill with the child support? Should I stop? Can he do that?? Please help!

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Hi. I have been divorced since 09 and have been recieveing Child Support consistantly ever since. At the time of the divorce I was working, but shortly after I was layed off. I have only used the child support make sure my daughter has all of her needs and to pay my phone bill, that I cannot pay with just my free lance jobs I get here and there. The phone bill is the main source of communication between my child and her father. He is now trying to take me back to court to rearrange custodialagreement because of it, saying i'm treating the child support like alamony. I'm freaking out, because she's my entire world, that would break me. Is it wrong use to pay my phone bill with the child support? Should I stop? Can he do that?? Please help!

Stop. Take a deep breath. Don't panic.

Has he actually filed anything with the court? I'm guessing no.

Because he is NOT going to get custody simply because you're using the child support to pay your phone bill.

CS is meant to reimburse the custodial parent - YOU - for costs incurred raising your child.

If you want to get mani/pedis with it, that's up to you.

I hope misto will be along soon to post his quite wonderful "pool" analogy about child support and also hope that it will reassure you.

In the meantime - ignore your ex.

 

[frylover]

I wish we could "sticky" his pool analogy.

 

[mistoffolees]

OK, by popular request.

Treat your checking account like a swimming pool. Every month, you add 500 gallons of water from child support. You add another 1000 gallons from your job. Maybe you have a birthday and get another 50 gallons for gifts.

Now, you take 300 gallons out to pay your rent. You take 200 gallons out for food. Another 200 gallons for medical care.

How in the world would you be expected to know that the gallons you took out for food, clothing, etc was the same as the money that went in for child care? Obviously, you can't.

Bottom line is that as long as the child is fed and clothed and has shelter, ex has no say in how child support is spent. I agree with Pro - just ignore him. If he does actually file something with the court, you can't ignore that, of course, but it probably won't go anywhere.

 

[AlmostThere]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Hi. I have been divorced since 09 and have been recieveing Child Support consistantly ever since. At the time of the divorce I was working, but shortly after I was layed off. I have only used the child support make sure my daughter has all of her needs and to pay my phone bill, that I cannot pay with just my free lance jobs I get here and there. The phone bill is the main source of communication between my child and her father. He is now trying to take me back to court to rearrange custodialagreement because of it, saying i'm treating the child support like alamony. I'm freaking out, because she's my entire world, that would break me. Is it wrong use to pay my phone bill with the child support? Should I stop? Can he do that?? Please help!

Why does your your ex know what you are spending the money you receive as Child Support on in the first place? It's only his business if you are not supplying the adequate necessities for your child - food, clothing, shelter, medical care.

What you can and should do is not tell him where the money is going. If he asks, say "It's being spent appropriately" and change the subject or end the conversation. In most cases, if you give the same answer consistently, the badgering party will give up.