Childcare expense variation?

[p.p.williams196]

Washington State

My ex and I have a disagreement over how the childcare expense obligation is distributed during the summer.

Our decree states that there is a 60/40 obligation for expenses beyond child support. We also have a 60/40 agreement for custody where the summer months are split 50/50, which I am told is fairly common.

My exes claim is that since the custody during the summer is split 50/50, I should have to pay 50% during those months.

As I understand, the 60/40 custody is based on the amount of nights over the course of the year, which would mean that the summer months were included and that the childcare obligation only changes when and if their is a change to our plan brought into court.

If my obligation is to pay 50/50 during the summer, that is fine, but from those I have spoken to at the daycare and other divorcees, that I should still only be obligated to pay the 40% agreed upon in the decree.

 

[Zigner]

...I should still only be obligated to pay the 40% agreed upon in the decree.

A decree is not (just) an "agreement", it is a court order. Think of it this way: You only have to pay what the court has ordered. Does that make more sense?

 

[LdiJ]

A decree is not (just) an "agreement", it is a court order. Think of it this way: You only have to pay what the court has ordered. Does that make more sense?

I agree with this but if they are 50/50 during the summer they can each make their own daycare arrangements, and that might stick a parent with 100% of the cost on their own time.

OP how much is the additional 10% that mom wants you to pay each week?

 

[p.p.williams196]

I agree with this but if they are 50/50 during the summer they can each make their own daycare arrangements, and that might stick a parent with 100% of the cost on their own time.

OP how much is the additional 10% that mom wants you to pay each week?

It wouldn't amount to that much. I have always paid what the court had decreed, unfortunately my ex is also withholding other money that is owed for buying me out of the condo we own together. Seperately, this doesn't amount to much, but she continuously is withholding money from me. I kindv kind of see it as giving her permission to continuously short change me or make me pay for something that I am not obligated for.

 

[LdiJ]

It wouldn't amount to that much. I have always paid what the court had decreed, unfortunately my ex is also withholding other money that is owed for buying me out of the condo we own together. Seperately, this doesn't amount to much, but she continuously is withholding money from me. I kindv kind of see it as giving her permission to continuously short change me or make me pay for something that I am not obligated for.

I have read that thread too, and she is not withholding anything from you, she simply cannot pay the attorney to draw up the QDRO...and that whole arrangement may not even be enforceable.

 

[p.p.williams196]

I have read that thread too, and she is not withholding anything from you, she simply cannot pay the attorney to draw up the QDRO...and that whole arrangement may not even be enforceable.

If she can afford to eat out with our daughter every night, get mani/ pedi with our daughter, buy expensive name brand fashions and shoes/ boots... she has the ability, she is choosing not to.

Her own daughter tells her that she should make different lifestyle choices because she is tired of hearing about how little money they have.

I have always found a way to pay what I was obligated to even when I had no idea how I would have enough for my daughter and I.

 

[LdiJ]

If she can afford to eat out with our daughter every night, get mani/ pedi with our daughter, buy expensive name brand fashions and shoes/ boots... she has the ability, she is choosing not to.

Her own daughter tells her that she should make different lifestyle choices because she is tired of hearing about how little money they have.

I have always found a way to pay what I was obligated to even when I had no idea how I would have enough for my daughter and I.

Then stand your ground on the daycare issue, but please consult an attorney on the 401k issue because I still think that part of your agreement is fraught with peril for you.

 

[p.p.williams196]

ashington

Child support decree states that expenses beyond ordered child support are to be split 60/40.

My ex wants to take our daughter out of daycare during the time that she had custody and believes that I will be solely responsible for the expense of child care while our daughter is in my custody.

Under the current terms, wouldn't she still be responsible for her portion, which is 60%?

Wouldn't she need to file for a change to child support to alter this?

 

[Zigner]

ashington

Child support decree states that expenses beyond ordered child support are to be split 60/40.

My ex wants to take our daughter out of daycare during the time that she had custody and believes that I will be solely responsible for the expense of child care while our daughter is in my custody.

Under the current terms, wouldn't she still be responsible for her portion, which is 60%?

Wouldn't she need to file for a change to child support to alter this?

I don't think that child care, while the child is in your custody, is the responsibility of the other party. If you push this issue in court then I don't think that you will be happy with the result.

 

[p.p.williams196]

I don't think that child care, while the child is in your custody, is the responsibility of the other party. If you push this issue in court then I don't think that you will be happy with the result.

That is interesting, so if she were enrolled in an activity/ program responsibility is split no matter who has custody, but daycare falls outside of that?

 

[Silverplum]

I <3 Zigner, but disagree with him, only just this one time: http://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.19.080

 

[Zigner]

I <3 Zigner, but disagree with him, only just this one time: http://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=26.19.080

I stand corrected...but I still think this little clause may cause some problems for the OP if this goes back to court:

(4) The court may exercise its discretion to determine the necessity for and the reasonableness of all amounts ordered in excess of the basic child support obligation.

 

[LdiJ]

That is interesting, so if she were enrolled in an activity/ program responsibility is split no matter who has custody, but daycare falls outside of that?

I am not really disagreeing with any of the other responses that you have received, but its not at all unusual for judges to allow parents with 50/50 or 60/40 to make their own daycare arrangements on their own time, and to be responsible for paying for their own daycare arrangements on their own time...particularly if the children are school aged and we are talking about summer daycare. All kinds of things happen during the summer like extended family visits, family vacations and other things that would interfere with a normal daycare schedule and make normal daycare possibly unreasonable for a shared custody situation.

In your previous threads you and mom were originally sharing daycare 60/40 with you being the 40 and since your summer parenting time is 50/50 mom wanted you to pay for daycare 50/50. While I think its possible you could prevail in court if this turns out to be a war, I am wondering if it wouldn't have just been safer and cheaper to agree to 50/50 for the summer.