• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Childs biological father in jail, ..odd situation here

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Status
Not open for further replies.

Sooner5900

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

Ok, so heres the deal. My daughter is 12 years old (Im her step-father, but Ive raised her since she was 1) and her real father has never had much to do with her. He was ordered to pay Child support in 2004 which he paid for about a year. Since then, the guy hasnt had a job and has leaned on his parents ever since to support his wife and other son. He still takes his visitation, but he doesnt do anything with her. She just likes going over there to see her little brother and her grandmother. Two weeks ago he got pulled over and thrown in jail for $17K in back child support. Its going to take $9600 to get him out, which I was sure that his family didnt have.

He called me wife today from jail and wanted to make a deal with her. He already has 2 felony charges against him and said that if he didnt get the $9600 by Dec. 29th, and hes going to get two more felony charges and 3 years in jail. So here was his plan: His father has $10,000 in retirement and is willing to pay the $9600 to get him out. His father will be broke and have to go back to work. He think the $9600 goes to my wife, and wants her to keep $1000 and give the rest back to his parents. Then, hes going to get a job with his brother in law (I know he can get the job, but he hasnt worked in 6 years. The question is whether hes going to actually work) and start to pay his child support again. Also, after we give his parents back $8600 of the $9600; he wants to come up with a payment plan, get it notarized, and start to pay back the rest of the $8600 that goes back to his parents. All that while he pays his current child support.

I dont like the idea, but it doesnt really matter what I think. My wife is concerned that maybe something can come back on her? Shes afraid that she could get in trouble for giving his parents back the $9600 that bails him out. ..Since, in reality, its back child support. Even then, he owes 7K more in back child support. Shes an honest person that doesnt like to lie or do anything that could get her in trouble. So, Im just trying to get a little feedback on the situation and see if she could get in trouble for doing something like this.

In my opinion, the guy will get a job and in two years be back in the same hole that hes currently in. Hes the laziest person Ive met in my entire life. I was hoping that he would sign over his rights and I could adopt her; shes called me Dad since she was 2 and Ive raised her all her life. ...Any input would be appreciated!! Thanks!!
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

Ok, so heres the deal. My daughter is 12 years old (Im her step-father, but Ive raised her since she was 1) and her real father has never had much to do with her. He was ordered to pay Child support in 2004 which he paid for about a year. Since then, the guy hasnt had a job and has leaned on his parents ever since to support his wife and other son. He still takes his visitation, but he doesnt do anything with her. She just likes going over there to see her little brother and her grandmother. Two weeks ago he got pulled over and thrown in jail for $17K in back child support. Its going to take $9600 to get him out, which I was sure that his family didnt have.

He called me wife today from jail and wanted to make a deal with her. He already has 2 felony charges against him and said that if he didnt get the $9600 by Dec. 29th, and hes going to get two more felony charges and 3 years in jail. So here was his plan: His father has $10,000 in retirement and is willing to pay the $9600 to get him out. His father will be broke and have to go back to work. He think the $9600 goes to my wife, and wants her to keep $1000 and give the rest back to his parents. Then, hes going to get a job with his brother in law (I know he can get the job, but he hasnt worked in 6 years. The question is whether hes going to actually work) and start to pay his child support again. Also, after we give his parents back $8600 of the $9600; he wants to come up with a payment plan, get it notarized, and start to pay back the rest of the $8600 that goes back to his parents. All that while he pays his current child support.

I dont like the idea, but it doesnt really matter what I think. My wife is concerned that maybe something can come back on her? Shes afraid that she could get in trouble for giving his parents back the $9600 that bails him out. ..Since, in reality, its back child support. Even then, he owes 7K more in back child support. Shes an honest person that doesnt like to lie or do anything that could get her in trouble. So, Im just trying to get a little feedback on the situation and see if she could get in trouble for doing something like this.

In my opinion, the guy will get a job and in two years be back in the same hole that hes currently in. Hes the laziest person Ive met in my entire life. I was hoping that he would sign over his rights and I could adopt her; shes called me Dad since she was 2 and Ive raised her all her life. ...Any input would be appreciated!! Thanks!!


This is not your child. You're not Dad. Okay?

Now. With that said, your wife would be an absolute idiot to agree to this.
 

Sooner5900

Junior Member
I know, Ive told my wife to just dump this whole situation off and let the trash rot in jail. But she has a big heart, thats her downfall.

..Trust me, Im trying to talk her out of it. Plus, it took DHS 3 months to get us the $2500 he got picked up the first time. I dont think his parents are going to wanna wait 3 months to get $8600 retirement back when they only have $10,000 to their name.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Heck, I'd make the agreement. It's not a valid/binding agreement on mom anyway, so why not?
 

cyjeff

Senior Member
It matters not what the child thinks of you... your love for the child means nothing in this situation.

I would agree to whatever he wants, but wouldn't return a dime to anyone. Why does everyone believe a person that they will finally pay only when that person is willing to do or say anything to get out of prison?

If he wants to pay someone back the 10,000... have him get a job and pay his parents back.

I also would not sign a single thing this person put in front of me.... but thank him for the money and ask where the rest is.

By the way... the best way to give the guy 50/50 visitation is to continue to have the child call you "dad" as you replace the child's father. Not "real dad"... just dad.

You ain't him. Stop pretending to be.

I say that as a stepfather that has been doing it a hell of a lot longer than you have, love my step daughter just as much and just signed my second massive tuition check to send someone else's child to college.

Back off... your actions can make sure you spend less time with the child you love.
 

Sooner5900

Junior Member
Yeah, Im not quite sure how this got turned into a "dad vs. stepdad" thing when that has ZERO to do with 'real dad' being in jail trying to get his way out! lol ...but on the side subject. So, what some of your are saying is that Im suppose to treat the kid different than my other two? And no, for someone whos 13, its not a hard thing to understand! lol ..she knows who "real dad" is and who "biological dad" is! ..Are you people serious? lol I see the trolls are out in full force on this forum!

Shes old enough to understand whats going on and clearly knows the difference between me and him; but Im not gonna treat her any different than my younger two. When were introduced to new people, im step dad. So its not like people dont know! lol If you wanna tell me, "Im pretending to be dad." Ok, well, thats fine. But like I said, Im not going to hold her back from the same things my kids do, or hold her to a different standard. Why should I treat her any different? Why should I create an atmosphere that says, "You're just a step child and your going to be treated different from the other two all your life; just because I'm not "biological dad."?

So thats fine. Im providing a positive influence into her life as a person when "real dad" is a POS who *treats* her like piece of ****. No, I'll never be "real dad" but Im not gonna treat her any different. Shes a happy kids who understands the situation! lol
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Yeah, Im not quite sure how this got turned into a "dad vs. stepdad" thing when that has ZERO with 'real dad' being in jail trying to get his way out! lol ...but on the side subject. So, what some of your are saying is that Im suppose to treat the kid different than my other two? And no, for someone whos 13, its not a hard thing to understand! lol ..she knows who "real dad" is and who "biological dad" is! ..Are you people serious? lol I see the trolls are out in full force on this forum!

Shes old enough to understand whats going on and clearly knows the difference between me and him; but Im not gonna treat her any different than my younger two. When were introduced to new people, im step dad. So its not like people dont know! lol If you wanna tell me, "Im pretending to be dad." Ok, well, thats fine. But like I said, Im not going to hold her back from the same things my kids do, or hold her to a different standard. Why should I treat her any different? Why should I create an atmosphere that says, "You're just a step child and your going to be treated different from the other two all your life; just because I'm not "biological dad."?

So thats fine. Im providing a positive influence into her life as a person when "real dad" is a POS who *treats* her like piece of ****. No, I'll never be "real dad" but Im not gonna treat her any different. Shes a happy kids who understands the situation! lol


That post is disturbing. REALLY disturbing.

Love,

A stepparent.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
And seriously. "Here's the deal". Have your wife sign up to ask her legal questions.


Love once again,

A stepparent.

(Lots of love, this time)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top