What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington
8-year-old child. Receiving $400/mo in support that started 6 years ago. The father told me yesterday he makes almost $19/hr, although previous claims have always had me thinking he makes closer to $22 or $23/hr. I know he was making $19/hr YEARS ago, and works for the union and has told me about raises a couple times now. But really I have no solid info on this. So I know pretty much nothing about the way the child support/visitation/custody works. When my daughter was 2, I got assistance with daycare for a short while until I no longer qualified for it. I think because of this, the state went after the father for support, made him pay back the daycare costs to them, and started taking $100/wk out of check and send to me. He is very bitter about the money and does not think I deserve it, he says. QUESTION: Does seeing the child have anything to do w/ the money? He barely see his child, and flakes out a lot. I've never filed for sole custody, so I think by WA standards, we have joint....but seeing as I get child support for her, does that mean I DO have sole? Someone in law enforcement told me once that if he takes her, he can legally have her because I don't have sole/full. I know a lot of you on here would probably recommend I go through the courts to get this set in stone, but in my personal experience and thinking, I prefer to avoid court for anything at all costs. I have ZERO fear of him taking her.
Lately, he's been telling me that he's been paying a lawyer $120/hr, who has told him he is paying me too much money (Said it would be reduced to $200 if he took me to court), 1 because I'm married now, 2 because he has a kid, and 3 because his expenses have now changed. At the time we first got child support, I had a job I was making pretty good money at, and I remember the court specifically saying my support amount went down because of my job. They had originally had it somewhere between 500-600, I don't remember exactly how much, because they initially thought I wasn't working. He said when child support was first finalized, he was living with his mom paying no rent, and that's why the support amount was the amount it was, but now he pays rent. (I think he rents a room in a house...Not even a place his children can go..although he says he's getting his own place next month. I asked him how a lawyer would be able to tell him the amount he should be paying...Wouldn't they need income info about me and my husband? He told me they had it. (I don't see HOW). I also told him I thought this kind of thing was on an individual basis and up to a judge. He ended the conversation saying that I don't need to worry about it, he doesn't care about the money, which was confusing because it certainly seems like he cares. I'M the one that doesn't care. I don't want to be harassed by him with this kind of stuff. He also sent me a parenting plan that he said he was going to file. In it, he asks for her every other weekend. I don't have a problem with that. What I don't like is that he immediately wants to go to the court before ever asking me to set up a plan. I will work with him no problem, I would LOVE if he saw her more. We agreed we'd try it on our own before involving the courts.
Sorry this is so long, but I have one other issue. So my husband and I are in the process of moving, only 30 minutes away, but the house has not been ready when it was supposed to, and we've found ourselves having to stay in a hotel. To top it off, our 2nd car breaks down at the same time. I muster up the nerve to ask the father if he could have our daughter for a few nights and take her to school until we get into the house. (I would NOT have done this if I had any other option, so trust me when I say there really was no other, apart from keeping her home from school). To my surprise, he says sure, no problem I explained the situation and he seemed surprisingly understanding. (It is usually hell to get him to see her. He even asks me for gas money the few times he's ever picked her up from school. He is NOT broke). We were just informed it will be yet one more day til we can get into the house. I tell him this and he flips out on me. It hurts my feelings that it bothers him so much to have the child. He tells me it is unfair that I am getting child support while he has the child for 3 days, that he's keeping record of this and will make court make us pay back the money he owes us. I told him I haven't even touched the child support money for this week. He makes it seem like I'm living off his money or something. He's SO angry about it, it's ridiculous. He says he is going to keep a record of every time he has her, and go through the courts to make my husband and I pay back the money for the time's he's had her and his expenses. Now the times he has her amount to like 3 hours at his smoke-filled mom's house and a disgusting McD's happy meal for my daughter. If this is the law, that's fine with me, he can have his money back. But is it? He also said the lawyer told him that he can SUE me for back child support. Is this true or possible? He said he has paid back child support because I told the court for the 1st 2 years of her life, he didn't help out. (That is not true, we were living together the first 2 years of her life, and I've never lie to the courts). I've never received any back child support. Is there any way this is true? Any other insight, advice would be great. I'm sick of this guy scaring me. He's come at me like this out of nowhere just this past week, I've never really heard this stuff from him before. I really don't care about the money, even thought of course it does help. My child does extracurricular activities we probably wouldn't be able to afford otherwise.
Additionally, if I do end up in court, what advice can you give me? This is the last night she's spending with him. He's known all week that she has piano practice after school today, I made sure and gave him the details about it and he just told me she is skipping that today. There is no reason for her to skip other than he is an a**hole. Her piano lessons are expensive and his money does help pay for it....How much could he possibly care when he does something like this? Is this something to mention if I go to court? This whole situation breaks my heart for someone to be so horrible and vindictive and none of it is out of real love or care for the child. She loves her lessons and even told me she wants to go more often.
Why do people do this kind of stuff?
8-year-old child. Receiving $400/mo in support that started 6 years ago. The father told me yesterday he makes almost $19/hr, although previous claims have always had me thinking he makes closer to $22 or $23/hr. I know he was making $19/hr YEARS ago, and works for the union and has told me about raises a couple times now. But really I have no solid info on this. So I know pretty much nothing about the way the child support/visitation/custody works. When my daughter was 2, I got assistance with daycare for a short while until I no longer qualified for it. I think because of this, the state went after the father for support, made him pay back the daycare costs to them, and started taking $100/wk out of check and send to me. He is very bitter about the money and does not think I deserve it, he says. QUESTION: Does seeing the child have anything to do w/ the money? He barely see his child, and flakes out a lot. I've never filed for sole custody, so I think by WA standards, we have joint....but seeing as I get child support for her, does that mean I DO have sole? Someone in law enforcement told me once that if he takes her, he can legally have her because I don't have sole/full. I know a lot of you on here would probably recommend I go through the courts to get this set in stone, but in my personal experience and thinking, I prefer to avoid court for anything at all costs. I have ZERO fear of him taking her.
Lately, he's been telling me that he's been paying a lawyer $120/hr, who has told him he is paying me too much money (Said it would be reduced to $200 if he took me to court), 1 because I'm married now, 2 because he has a kid, and 3 because his expenses have now changed. At the time we first got child support, I had a job I was making pretty good money at, and I remember the court specifically saying my support amount went down because of my job. They had originally had it somewhere between 500-600, I don't remember exactly how much, because they initially thought I wasn't working. He said when child support was first finalized, he was living with his mom paying no rent, and that's why the support amount was the amount it was, but now he pays rent. (I think he rents a room in a house...Not even a place his children can go..although he says he's getting his own place next month. I asked him how a lawyer would be able to tell him the amount he should be paying...Wouldn't they need income info about me and my husband? He told me they had it. (I don't see HOW). I also told him I thought this kind of thing was on an individual basis and up to a judge. He ended the conversation saying that I don't need to worry about it, he doesn't care about the money, which was confusing because it certainly seems like he cares. I'M the one that doesn't care. I don't want to be harassed by him with this kind of stuff. He also sent me a parenting plan that he said he was going to file. In it, he asks for her every other weekend. I don't have a problem with that. What I don't like is that he immediately wants to go to the court before ever asking me to set up a plan. I will work with him no problem, I would LOVE if he saw her more. We agreed we'd try it on our own before involving the courts.
Sorry this is so long, but I have one other issue. So my husband and I are in the process of moving, only 30 minutes away, but the house has not been ready when it was supposed to, and we've found ourselves having to stay in a hotel. To top it off, our 2nd car breaks down at the same time. I muster up the nerve to ask the father if he could have our daughter for a few nights and take her to school until we get into the house. (I would NOT have done this if I had any other option, so trust me when I say there really was no other, apart from keeping her home from school). To my surprise, he says sure, no problem I explained the situation and he seemed surprisingly understanding. (It is usually hell to get him to see her. He even asks me for gas money the few times he's ever picked her up from school. He is NOT broke). We were just informed it will be yet one more day til we can get into the house. I tell him this and he flips out on me. It hurts my feelings that it bothers him so much to have the child. He tells me it is unfair that I am getting child support while he has the child for 3 days, that he's keeping record of this and will make court make us pay back the money he owes us. I told him I haven't even touched the child support money for this week. He makes it seem like I'm living off his money or something. He's SO angry about it, it's ridiculous. He says he is going to keep a record of every time he has her, and go through the courts to make my husband and I pay back the money for the time's he's had her and his expenses. Now the times he has her amount to like 3 hours at his smoke-filled mom's house and a disgusting McD's happy meal for my daughter. If this is the law, that's fine with me, he can have his money back. But is it? He also said the lawyer told him that he can SUE me for back child support. Is this true or possible? He said he has paid back child support because I told the court for the 1st 2 years of her life, he didn't help out. (That is not true, we were living together the first 2 years of her life, and I've never lie to the courts). I've never received any back child support. Is there any way this is true? Any other insight, advice would be great. I'm sick of this guy scaring me. He's come at me like this out of nowhere just this past week, I've never really heard this stuff from him before. I really don't care about the money, even thought of course it does help. My child does extracurricular activities we probably wouldn't be able to afford otherwise.
Additionally, if I do end up in court, what advice can you give me? This is the last night she's spending with him. He's known all week that she has piano practice after school today, I made sure and gave him the details about it and he just told me she is skipping that today. There is no reason for her to skip other than he is an a**hole. Her piano lessons are expensive and his money does help pay for it....How much could he possibly care when he does something like this? Is this something to mention if I go to court? This whole situation breaks my heart for someone to be so horrible and vindictive and none of it is out of real love or care for the child. She loves her lessons and even told me she wants to go more often.
Why do people do this kind of stuff?
