Child's name change w/out my consent:(

[icvmom427]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina


My son's father is a resident of Tennesse and I am a resident of NC. Apparently, in TN when child support is ordered and praternity has been established, they practically let the father decide what the child's last name is. I am his mother and he has had my last name since he was born (he is two yrs old now). His father and I were never married, engaged..ect. We weren't even together throughout the entire pregnancy...I found out two days after we split up. I've spent two years trying to get child support and now when its ordered, his father decides to just change my son's last name. I don't understand how he can do this WITHOUT MY PERMISSION when my son has always lived with me, always had my last name, his father has only seen him maybe 4 or 5 times, and we were never married. I have a hearing coming up next week because I appealed the decision to change my son's last name. Is this a common occurance...does the father usually get to decide the last name no matter what the mother(who has always been the custodial parent) says? Or do I have a legitimate argument against this name change?


Thank you!!!

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by icvmom427

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina


My son's father is a resident of Tennesse and I am a resident of NC. Apparently, in TN when child support is ordered and praternity has been established, they practically let the father decide what the child's last name is. I am his mother and he has had my last name since he was born (he is two yrs old now). His father and I were never married, engaged..ect. We weren't even together throughout the entire pregnancy...I found out two days after we split up. I've spent two years trying to get child support and now when its ordered, his father decides to just change my son's last name. I don't understand how he can do this WITHOUT MY PERMISSION when my son has always lived with me, always had my last name, his father has only seen him maybe 4 or 5 times, and we were never married. I have a hearing coming up next week because I appealed the decision to change my son's last name. Is this a common occurance...does the father usually get to decide the last name no matter what the mother(who has always been the custodial parent) says? Or do I have a legitimate argument against this name change?


Thank you!!!

Rather than fight a battle you will most likely lose, you would be better off requesting a hyphenation of both your names. A judge will be much more inclined to grant this rather than overturn the previous decision.

Consider that "someday" you may marry and your name will then change...Junior would then have NEITHER of his parents names. SWIM??

[icvmom427]

That sounds like a good plan

Another question though...

How can TN change a NC birth certificate? I was told NC may be able to block the decision of a name change because TN doesn't have jurisdiction of NC in this matter

[CourtClerk]

Originally Posted by icvmom427

How can TN change a NC birth certificate?

States honor each other's orders. My father lives in CA. If he wanted his name changed, he wouldn't need to go back to TX (where he was born) to do it.

How about you get over the whole name changing thing, suggest a hyphenated last name and start worrying about something important.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by CourtClerk

States honor each other's orders. My father lives in CA. If he wanted his name changed, he wouldn't need to go back to TX (where he was born) to do it.

How about you get over the whole name changing thing, suggest a hyphenated last name and start worrying about something important.

She might be right in this instance. TN shouldn't have any jurisdiction over the child, only over dad, which is why TN is handling the child support.

Also, while she didn't have to be served for the child support case she certainly would have had to be served for a name change for the child.

She may want to appeal the case based on both lack of service AND lack of subject matter jurisdiction.

[CourtClerk]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

She might be right in this instance. TN shouldn't have any jurisdiction over the child, only over dad, which is why TN is handling the child support.

Also, while she didn't have to be served for the child support case she certainly would have had to be served for a name change for the child.

She may want to appeal the case based on both lack of service AND lack of subject matter jurisdiction.

She never mentioned how long she's been in NC. Someone left somewhere. Besides... is this the hill to die on? He then goes to NC and petitions to have the child's name changed. Arguing for the sake of arguing because SHE needs to be right. Yeah, that's productive.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

She might be right in this instance. TN shouldn't have any jurisdiction over the child, only over dad, which is why TN is handling the child support.

Also, while she didn't have to be served for the child support case she certainly would have had to be served for a name change for the child.

She may want to appeal the case based on both lack of service AND lack of subject matter jurisdiction.

She CONSENTED TO JURISDICTION when she did not mention improper jurisdiction when paternity and child support was being established.

AND the court has subject matter jurisdiction. The family court can rule on family issues (the subject matter).

How do you figure there was a lack of service when she was the one PURSUING child support?

You are telling her to appeal on issues that she never broached during the trial? SHE HAS NOT PRESERVED THOSE ISSUES if she did not argue during the hearings lack of service and lack of jurisdiction. Her ignorance is NOT a defense.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by CourtClerk

She never mentioned how long she's been in NC. Someone left somewhere. Besides... is this the hill to die on? He then goes to NC and petitions to have the child's name changed. Arguing for the sake of arguing because SHE needs to be right. Yeah, that's productive.

She also didn't preserve this issue for appeal if she never raised it during the pendency of the case. And if she FILED in TN (even an answer) then she is done for. And if he filed and she never disputed jurisdiction then SHE is done for. In other words, SHE IS DONE FOR. She has no arguments. Ignorance is not an excuse or a defense. Not to mention he turns around and then files in NC and wins. hey but OP is mom. Hence... since she has the uterus she has the ultimate rights.

Hey OP, did you ask dad's permission before giving the child your last name?

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

She also didn't preserve this issue for appeal if she never raised it during the pendency of the case. And if she FILED in TN (even an answer) then she is done for. And if he filed and she never disputed jurisdiction then SHE is done for. In other words, SHE IS DONE FOR. She has no arguments. Ignorance is not an excuse or a defense. Not to mention he turns around and then files in NC and wins. hey but OP is mom. Hence... since she has the uterus she has the ultimate rights.

Hey OP, did you ask dad's permission before giving the child your last name?

Ok...I really have to disagree with you here.

When it comes to child support, the CSE in mom's state (and you have a point, its assuming that mom initiated child support in NC or that mom has been in NC long enough to establish residency) coordinates with dad's state to get child support ordered and enforced. Custodial parents are often not even served for those cases because its between the NCP and the state.

However, since child support and custody/visitation are completely separate issues, that would not give the ncp's state jurisdiction to decide custody/visitation or other matters regarding the children, if the CP and the children are legal residents of another state.

Yes, I know that you have argued more than once, that if a CP allows a state to handle child support, even indirectly via CSE coordination between two states, that it means that the CP has ceded jurisdiction to that state for all matters regarding the children, however I will never agree with you on that.

Now, I realize that I am probably reading between the lines too much...but I can just about guarantee that dad never served mom a petition to change the child's last name, and that dad merely asked for it in court, and the judge gave it to him.

If I am correct, mom should be appealing not only on the basis that she is appealing, but also on lack of subject matter jurisdiction.

Should she agree to hyphenate the child's last name? Probably...it makes sense and gives everyone a "win". Nevertheless, unless mom and the child only recently moved to NC, the judge still should not have made orders on that issue.

[Ohiogal]

Ld you seldom agree with me on anything. But I am not arguing with you. If she consented to TN handling CS then she ceded jursidiction and consented. End of story. That is LEGAL FACT. She doesn't get to forum shop based on where she thinks it is appropriate and what tickles her fancy.

[SIN EATER]

It sounds as though it was an Interstate Petition, under UIFSA.
If so, custody is under the UCCJEA Act - and NC would have jurisdiction over those issues, as LD said. Tenn has jurisdiction over the Paternity and support issues.

I haven't looked at an Interstate Petition in some time, but after Paternity was established, the next item on the Petition was that the birth certificate of the child be changed to reflect the surname of the father.
The Petition was sent by the initiating state (NC) to the responding state (Tn). If anyone goofed up, it was probably NC in not reviewing the Petition sent to Tenn. (the Tenn court could only rule on the requests within the NC Petition; the name change was on the Petition).
Mom also could have, easily, made a telephonic appearance in the Tenn court and she would have been aware of all issues and proposed orders.

That said, I agree with CC.
It's pretty selfish to want Paternity established, but insist on the child only carrying Mom's name. That IS a stupid hill to die on, and a pretty selfish way to use $ which could go to the child.
The Judge may hyphenate the name; hopefully they're both short names. Otherwise, Mom can have the son use her name as a middle name.

OP, He must pay support & you must share the child with the other parent.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by SIN EATER

It sounds as though it was an Interstate Petition, under UIFSA.
If so, custody is under the UCCJEA Act - and NC would have jurisdiction over those issues, as LD said. Tenn has jurisdiction over the Paternity and support issues.

I haven't looked at an Interstate Petition in some time, but after Paternity was established, the next item on the Petition was that the birth certificate of the child be changed to reflect the surname of the father.
The Petition was sent by the initiating state (NC) to the responding state (Tn). If anyone goofed up, it was probably NC in not reviewing the Petition sent to Tenn. (the Tenn court could only rule on the requests within the NC Petition; the name change was on the Petition).
Mom also could have, easily, made a telephonic appearance in the Tenn court and she would have been aware of all issues and proposed orders.

That said, I agree with CC.
It's pretty selfish to want Paternity established, but insist on the child only carrying Mom's name. That IS a stupid hill to die on, and a pretty selfish way to use $ which could go to the child.
The Judge may hyphenate the name; hopefully they're both short names. Otherwise, Mom can have the son use her name as a middle name.

OP, He must pay support & you must share the child with the other parent.

If she consented to jurisdiction she waived it. Plain and simple.

[SIN EATER]

Not always plain and simple.
Time may have run by now, but UIFSA petitions can be appealed. She agreed to jurisdiction, but she could have appealed the decision itself.