Collecting Back Support

[judgedanelle]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
My ex and I have a court order for child support that he has always voluntarily paid. I have never had to use or register with the state system. The court order calls for regular weekly support and a once a year payment based on his overtime wages. This year he is refusing to pay the once a year amount. He still pays the weekly amount without question. I do not want to file a motion yet because I am afraid he will come back and ask for a reduction in the weekly amount. I would like to hold off to see if he changes his mind on his own. At the same time I do not want to jeopardize my right to collect what is due me. I would like to know if New Jersey has a statute of limitations for filing a motion to collect court ordered child support in arrears. If they do not I would like to hold off as long as possible which could be up to 7 years as our son is only 14 now. If there is no statute of limitations, are there any consequences to holding off

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ
My ex and I have a court order for child support that he has always voluntarily paid. I have never had to use or register with the state system. The court order calls for regular weekly support and a once a year payment based on his overtime wages. This year he is refusing to pay the once a year amount. He still pays the weekly amount without question. I do not want to file a motion yet because I am afraid he will come back and ask for a reduction in the weekly amount. I would like to hold off to see if he changes his mind on his own. At the same time I do not want to jeopardize my right to collect what is due me. I would like to know if New Jersey has a statute of limitations for filing a motion to collect court ordered child support in arrears. If they do not I would like to hold off as long as possible which could be up to 7 years as our son is only 14 now. If there is no statute of limitations, are there any consequences to holding off

In terms of arrears NJ hasn't actually decided whether or not Laches ( "if you snooze you lose" )is a defense. Even if it is a defense though, it wouldn't kick in until the child ages out and it doesn't preclude a money judgment which in and of itself is collectable for a good long while.

 

[judgedanelle]

Laches

If I wait 5 years is that too long? If I document notification to him that I expect payment, will that show that I intend to keep the case alive?

 

[stealth2]

What will waiting do for you?

 

[Ohiogal]

What will waiting do for you?

From how I read it, dad might qualify for a modification downward in support and mom doesn't want that to happen so she would get to keep the "higher amount" of child support if she doesn't push it. Then she can hit dad with the overtime amount and make out financially.

However, if dad qualifies for a downward modification in support, he should file for it. Mom is showing that she is being greedy/selfish IMHO.

 

[stealth2]

There are reasons I ask questions of OPs. I'm not asking for other people to interpret or explain what they think an OP may have meant. Please (and it is not just you, OG) - let the OP answer!

 

[judgedanelle]

There are reasons I ask questions of OPs. I'm not asking for other people to interpret or explain what they think an OP may have meant. Please (and it is not just you, OG) - let the OP answer!

I actually would rather wait because I do not want our son to get thrown into the middle with his father degrading me for asking for what is due. In the past when my ex has been asked to be responsible in other parenting areas (such as taking care of a dr appt) he has turned it into an opportunity to say that I am not doing my job because I ask him to step up to the plate. We have shared custody but he does not take care of any day-to-day things. He calls me names and says some really nasty things to our son who then throws them at me as insults when he is angry. I want to preserve the relationship with my son and do not want to cause friction between him and his dad. By waiting, I am allowing him to grow up with parents that are not throwing him in the middle.

 

[Zigner]

I actually would rather wait because I do not want our son to get thrown into the middle with his father degrading me for asking for what is due. In the past when my ex has been asked to be responsible in other parenting areas (such as taking care of a dr appt) he has turned it into an opportunity to say that I am not doing my job because I ask him to step up to the plate. We have shared custody but he does not take care of any day-to-day things. He calls me names and says some really nasty things to our son who then throws them at me as insults when he is angry. I want to preserve the relationship with my son and do not want to cause friction between him and his dad. By waiting, I am allowing him to grow up with parents that are not throwing him in the middle.

Are we to understand that your ex was paying support, yet you continued to ask for additional money beyond what was ordered?

(Yes, I understand that he's stop paying support at this point.)

 

[I'mTheFather]

Or, is it that you expect him to handle day-to-day responsibilities, such as taking child to the doctor?

By shared custody, do you mean shared physical custody such that you each have equal time with the child?

 

[Proserpina]

I'm reading it as, one lump sum + regular weekly schedule of payments.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm reading it as, one lump sum + regular weekly schedule of payments.

I agree...

and a once a year payment based on his overtime wages

I think that probably what is going on here is that this year dad simply cannot come up with the yearly lump sum payment based on his overtime, and is therefore refusing to pay it. I suspect that anyone who had to make a yearly lump some payment based on the total amount of overtime they worked in any particular year would have a hard time coming up with the amount. This particular year might simply be dad's breaking point.

It was a poorly designed order, but that still doesn't excuse dad from disobeying the order. At the same time however I do understand mom's point about not wanting to put their child into the middle, but not wanting to give up what child support she is entitled to receive.

If I got technical in the matter my ex owes me about 100k in child support based on our divorce decree, which was never modified. Child support was never garnished from his wages and he was good about paying it for many years. Then, both of our financial lives went to heck in a handbasket in the same year...and he stopped paying and I stopped expecting him to pay. I have recovered and he really hasn't. However, if he ever won the lottery or got a big inheritance, yes, I would expect him to pay. So, I really sympathize with this poster's situation. I could have enforced child support during those years but I valued the continuing co-parenting relationship more than the child support, even though I very seriously struggled.

So, I don't think that we can assume that mom is greedy.