Is this contempt of court?

[staycalm]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

My ex gets child support that is taken out of my check so it is never late. We split other bills such as medical and dental. She sends me the bills in the mail or sometimes sticks them in one of the kids bags. We've been divorced for three years.

I recently got engaged and the ex has been being a real ass about it. She doesn't like my girlfriend, but she treats my kids well so I brush it off if the ex makes a snide remark. Today she called and told me I owed money for dental bills from last year and she was going to file for contempt if I didn't pay IMMEDIATELY since they were from last year.

Can she file for contempt if I don't pay within 30 days? In other words if she broke the 90 day rule as far as giving me the bill, do I still have to abide by the 30 day rule? I'm short on money this month and would rather pay it in October.

We've never had these problems before and the ex is purposely trying to make trouble. IF she files would I need a lawyer?

Any advice would be welcome!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

My ex gets child support that is taken out of my check so it is never late. We split other bills such as medical and dental. She sends me the bills in the mail or sometimes sticks them in one of the kids bags. We've been divorced for three years.

I recently got engaged and the ex has been being a real ass about it. She doesn't like my girlfriend, but she treats my kids well so I brush it off if the ex makes a snide remark. Today she called and told me I owed money for dental bills from last year and she was going to file for contempt if I didn't pay IMMEDIATELY since they were from last year.

Can she file for contempt if I don't pay within 30 days? In other words if she broke the 90 day rule as far as giving me the bill, do I still have to abide by the 30 day rule? I'm short on money this month and would rather pay it in October.

We've never had these problems before and the ex is purposely trying to make trouble. IF she files would I need a lawyer?

Any advice would be welcome!

You would not need a lawyer for that simple of a contempt case. In fact, if the bills are paid off before the court date you likely wouldn't be held in contempt at all if its your first time to court for contempt.

 

[mistoffolees]

You would not need a lawyer for that simple of a contempt case. In fact, if the bills are paid off before the court date you likely wouldn't be held in contempt at all if its your first time to court for contempt.

I agree, but timing also matters. When did she give you the bills? If she gave you the bills a year ago and you ignored them, her chances are better than if she just gave you the bills.

 

[staycalm]

I didn't get the bill last year. She said she is mailing it today. The problem is she wants paid "immediately" and I don't have all the money now. With the way she has been acting since I got engaged I would not put it past her to file contempt out of spite, and I want to know how serious it could be. According to her logic since the bill is old I will be in contempt if I don't pay by 30 days.

The other thing is I paid her other medical bills during that time, she just didn't send the dental one I think she must have overlooked it, which is odd but I don't know why else she would hold onto it. Do the courts consider how long she kept the bill?

She also threatened I would have to pay her lawyer fee. It seems unreasonable but if I am "technically" in contempt I don't want to get a fine or whatever else they might do. Can I counter with harassment, because really that is what this is, she is just doing it out of spite.

 

[Ohiogal]

I didn't get the bill last year. She said she is mailing it today. The problem is she wants paid "immediately" and I don't have all the money now. With the way she has been acting since I got engaged I would not put it past her to file contempt out of spite, and I want to know how serious it could be. According to her logic since the bill is old I will be in contempt if I don't pay by 30 days.

The other thing is I paid her other medical bills during that time, she just didn't send the dental one I think she must have overlooked it, which is odd but I don't know why else she would hold onto it. Do the courts consider how long she kept the bill?

She also threatened I would have to pay her lawyer fee. It seems unreasonable but if I am "technically" in contempt I don't want to get a fine or whatever else they might do. Can I counter with harassment, because really that is what this is, she is just doing it out of spite.

What exactly does your order state (without the names) regarding reimbursement for medical?

 

[mistoffolees]

I didn't get the bill last year. She said she is mailing it today. The problem is she wants paid "immediately" and I don't have all the money now. With the way she has been acting since I got engaged I would not put it past her to file contempt out of spite, and I want to know how serious it could be. According to her logic since the bill is old I will be in contempt if I don't pay by 30 days.

She's out of her mind. Your order should say how much time you have to pay a bill. If it doesn't say, then the standard would probably be what a reasonable person would do. I would argue that something like 60 days is reasonable, but someone else might argue more or less. In any event, you can avoid a lot of hassle by simply paying the bill.

The other thing is I paid her other medical bills during that time, she just didn't send the dental one I think she must have overlooked it, which is odd but I don't know why else she would hold onto it. Do the courts consider how long she kept the bill?

Irrelevant that you paid other bills.

It MIGHT be the case that the bill would be uncollectible if her delay prevented you from filing for insurance, for example. Otherwise, just pay it.

She also threatened I would have to pay her lawyer fee. It seems unreasonable but if I am "technically" in contempt I don't want to get a fine or whatever else they might do. Can I counter with harassment, because really that is what this is, she is just doing it out of spite.

You don't have to pay her lawyer's fee unless the court orders you to. Some judges award fees regularly and others don't.

But it would save you a lot of hassle and potential expense if you just pay the bill.

 

[staycalm]

My daughter stopped over tonight and had an envelope from the ex with the bill. I'm going to pay it tomorrow, even though later would have been better for me and it was given to me a year after the fact.

Contempt laws need to be more clear so this kind of crap can't happen.

 

[dogmom228]

I didn't get the bill last year. She said she is mailing it today. The problem is she wants paid "immediately" and I don't have all the money now. With the way she has been acting since I got engaged I would not put it past her to file contempt out of spite, and I want to know how serious it could be. According to her logic since the bill is old I will be in contempt if I don't pay by 30 days.

The other thing is I paid her other medical bills during that time, she just didn't send the dental one I think she must have overlooked it, which is odd but I don't know why else she would hold onto it. Do the courts consider how long she kept the bill?

She also threatened I would have to pay her lawyer fee. It seems unreasonable but if I am "technically" in contempt I don't want to get a fine or whatever else they might do. Can I counter with harassment, because really that is what this is, she is just doing it out of spite.

Fortunately, the burden of proof is on her. She must prove that she gave you the bills and that you are in contempt for not paying them. If she did not provide them to you when she was ordered to do so, she is the one in fault. You have proof that all other bills have been paid on time. I think if it were a pattern of non payment it would be a different issue altogether. Best of luck to you in dealing with her in the future!

 

[mistoffolees]

My daughter stopped over tonight and had an envelope from the ex with the bill. I'm going to pay it tomorrow, even though later would have been better for me and it was given to me a year after the fact.

Contempt laws need to be more clear so this kind of crap can't happen.

It really has nothing to do with the contempt laws. The problem is that your divorce decree is not specific enough. It should say "medical/dental bills must be paid within xxx days of presentation to the other party". Then you would know what the rules are.

However, her demand for payment within 30 days is not unreasonable. If it were me, I'd ask for 60, but when you get a bill from a business, it's almost always 30 days (sometimes less). She apparently paid that bill last year, so you got a 1 year interest-free loan. I don't think she is being unreasonable at all - although it is certainly annoying to get a bill a year later, it doesn't hurt you (again, unless it prevents you from filing for insurance).

Divorce decrees need to be written more precisely to be sure, but the ultimate fact is that no decree can cover every circumstance. In the end, it is up to you and the person you chose to be your wife to be reasonable adults.

 

[staycalm]

Okay I finally found my divorce papers and was just reading over them it does say I need to pay within 30 days. I agree it's reasonable like other bills give 30 days but it says nothing about when the ex has to give me the bill, why is that? I'm paying this bill but it has three dates two visits in June of 2010 and one the end of July. It was for the same thing my one daughter needed extractions before she could get her braces, but they were done on the different days. The ex got billed right after each visit. I'm sure the dentist let her make it in payments but I guess I don't get that luxury. Can I demand she send me the bills immediately so I don't get stuck with a big lump sum to pay in 30 days or do I have to put up with the vindictive behavior? I know my ex and I think she is going to try and jerk me around any way she can, she still hasn't "moved on" even though in the beginning she is the one who first filed, I'm tired of the crazy train.

 

[mistoffolees]

Okay I finally found my divorce papers and was just reading over them it does say I need to pay within 30 days. I agree it's reasonable like other bills give 30 days but it says nothing about when the ex has to give me the bill, why is that? I'm paying this bill but it has three dates two visits in June of 2010 and one the end of July. It was for the same thing my one daughter needed extractions before she could get her braces, but they were done on the different days. The ex got billed right after each visit. I'm sure the dentist let her make it in payments but I guess I don't get that luxury. Can I demand she send me the bills immediately so I don't get stuck with a big lump sum to pay in 30 days or do I have to put up with the vindictive behavior? I know my ex and I think she is going to try and jerk me around any way she can, she still hasn't "moved on" even though in the beginning she is the one who first filed, I'm tired of the crazy train.

She gave you an interest free loan for a year. What are you complaining about?

You can certainly ask that the bills be submitted promptly - and if you were already in court over the decree, it might be worth adding. But, frankly, going back to court over the matter is petty.

If you're involved with your child, you should have some idea when medical and dental care is needed, so you can simply set the money aside.

 

[stealth2]

I'd likely pay her what you owe, and ask that, in the future, she provide the bills when she gets them so you can reimburse your portion in a timely manner.

And really - you didn't know that your kid had at least two extractions? Or did you figure that, if she didn't provide a bill, you weren't going to ask?

 

[staycalm]

My kids dental bills are the biggest medical expense so I figured they were paid up to date. I don't look at every single detail on the bills, I just paid half to the ex. I will now. Yes I know when the kids get work done, it's been ongoing. I don't pay attention to the date. I never gave her a hard time about it I want the kids to have nice teeth so I was all for braces. I know what happened the ex forgot about this bill it wasn't some free loan, and when she realized she never gave it to me she got crappy about it, that's how she is it's just escalated recently. She knows I'm short this month, plus my girlfriend took the kids for some school shopping, trust me the ex knows all this. I nipped these contempt threats in the bud though I called the dentist and from now on they are going to bill me half so I WILL get a bill right after appointments. I should have thought of doing that awhile ago.

So my issue is resolved. Thanks for all the advice.

 

[mistoffolees]

My kids dental bills are the biggest medical expense so I figured they were paid up to date. I don't look at every single detail on the bills, I just paid half to the ex. I will now. Yes I know when the kids get work done, it's been ongoing. I don't pay attention to the date. I never gave her a hard time about it I want the kids to have nice teeth so I was all for braces. I know what happened the ex forgot about this bill it wasn't some free loan, and when she realized she never gave it to me she got crappy about it, that's how she is it's just escalated recently. She knows I'm short this month, plus my girlfriend took the kids for some school shopping, trust me the ex knows all this. I nipped these contempt threats in the bud though I called the dentist and from now on they are going to bill me half so I WILL get a bill right after appointments. I should have thought of doing that awhile ago.

So my issue is resolved. Thanks for all the advice.

Glad it worked out.

For other readers this is an example of how you can work things out to everyone's satisfaction without going to court. Going to court is expensive, time-consuming, and almost always stressful (and kids pick up the stress second hand). Going to court should ALWAYS be your last resort.