CS and Chid Care

[sparky31676]

What is the name of your state?
PA

Child attends day care/preschool 3 days per week while I work.
50/50 custody.
Can other parent request not to send child there and either have themself or relative watch child for free?

 

[stealth2]

Why not? If the other parent is able to provide child care on his time, that's on him. Why not see if it could be a regular arrangement even while you work? Would save everyone money.

 

[sparky31676]

Yes, But

Why not? If the other parent is able to provide child care on his time, that's on him. Why not see if it could be a regular arrangement even while you work? Would save everyone money.

I know pre-school is not a requirement, but I believe it is certainly a benefit.
The program meets all preschooling needs plus provides the extended day while I work.

 

[tigger22472]

You say 50/50 custody. Does this mean the child spends 1week at each home (or half the week each or two weeks each.. whichever)?

The answer is yes. Now, you titled this "CS and child care". Where does CS figure in this? If you are getting CS and getting extra money for child care then yes it could definately be argued that the other parent is available to watch the child or that it would be more beneficial for the child to spend the time with either the other parent or even a grandparent. It could also be argued that your time is your time and you can do as you please(as a judge told my husband) but then lots of luck getting extra money for child care.

 

[stealth2]

So you pay for the three days that you need their service. Every daycare/preschool I've ever known has plans for less than fulltime (5 days a week) attendance.

 

[sparky31676]

Familiar

You say 50/50 custody. Does this mean the child spends 1week at each home (or half the week each or two weeks each.. whichever)?

The answer is yes. Now, you titled this "CS and child care". Where does CS figure in this? If you are getting CS and getting extra money for child care then yes it could definately be argued that the other parent is available to watch the child or that it would be more beneficial for the child to spend the time with either the other parent or even a grandparent. It could also be argued that your time is your time and you can do as you please(as a judge told my husband) but then lots of luck getting extra money for child care.

I was court ordered $100 mo. directly, not through CS enforcement.
Haven't seen that in 6 mo.
Started son in care/school in Nov.
I have my mod. for CS hearing in March due to lack of payment and increase for the program.
He has argued it's on my time so I pay.
It's fun to work an extra 15 hours a week at a second job, just to pay for care so I can work my 40 hr. per week day job.

 

[tigger22472]

I was court ordered $100 mo. directly, not through CS enforcement.
Haven't seen that in 6 mo.
Started son in care/school in Nov.
I have my mod. for CS hearing in March due to lack of payment and increase for the program.
He has argued it's on my time so I pay.
It's fun to work an extra 15 hours a week at a second job, just to pay for care so I can work my 40 hr. per week day job.

Ok.. that's support but you still didn't say what the actual custody agreement is. AND again, you are complaining about working a second job to pay for the child care that could be free if the other parent was available to care for the child so that will hold little water in court. Again, depending on the custody the judge MIGHT tell you that it's your time and you pay if you don't want to allow the other parent to provide care. I've seen it happen in a true 50/50 situation. In the one in my home neither parent pays support even though it COULD be ordered because they feel that it's their responsibility to support the child when in their home. However, if a sitter is needed the other parent is called (yes on one parent's work time) or the person that needs the sitter pays for the sitter.

 

[sparky31676]

Agreement

Ok.. that's support but you still didn't say what the actual custody agreement is. AND again, you are complaining about working a second job to pay for the child care that could be free if the other parent was available to care for the child so that will hold little water in court. Again, depending on the custody the judge MIGHT tell you that it's your time and you pay if you don't want to allow the other parent to provide care. I've seen it happen in a true 50/50 situation. In the one in my home neither parent pays support even though it COULD be ordered because they feel that it's their responsibility to support the child when in their home. However, if a sitter is needed the other parent is called (yes on one parent's work time) or the person that needs the sitter pays for the sitter.

We only live 5 mins. away.
sun 5pm- mon 5pm father
mon 5pm - wed 5pm mother
wed 5pm - thur 5pm father
thur 5pm - fri 5pm mother
fri 5pm - sat 5pm father
sat 5pm-sun 5pm mother
Now, also consoder the pre-school as well.
$300 a month isn't a bad price for care and schooling.
I am not noly working the second job for that, but also for insurance, the $100 a month was to go to that, but as stated, haven't seen that in 6 months.

 

[sparky31676]

Gotta go for the day, but wanted to add grandama works over 40 hours a week as a nurse, nights, days, 20 hour shifts sometimes.
I have picked son up and she is exhausted, but had to watch him.
Ex takes advantage of his mother and basically doesn't want to pay, it boils down to $$$ not people.
I'll be here tomorrow.
Thanks!

 

[tigger22472]

You have two different issues at hand however.
I also want to warn you that the more issues you bring up the more likely you are to be told what my husband was during a modification hearing and his schedule is less trouble then yours. 50/50 custody is not popular. Society believes that there should be a 'custodial parent' in every issue that gets to make the ultimate decision on issues. In 50/50 that's not possible. It's extremely important in 50/50 situations to bend over more backwards then normal to make the situation work. Other wise as in my husband's case the judge will say "If you can't agree on things someone needs to file for custody". It then becomes a war. There will be one parent 'winning' and one parent 'losing' but either way the child loses. Now, let's say the judge says that and you decide to file. It becomes much tougher then a normal custody battle. You would have a harder time of proving the other parent 'unfit'. It becomes a larger issue of finding out what hills are worth dying on. So you have to ask yourself is it worth the trouble it could cause to argue the fact of the child spending time with g'ma and dad is doing what HE has to in order to provide for the child. You are arguing NOT to give HIM extra time and put your child in preschool and day care on your days.. but then fighting to have the child when he uses someone outside the home.

And again CS is a separate issue then the visitation schedule or who cares for the child on each parent's time. More then likely unless this has been addressed in the motion already you may not be able to argue that in March.

 

[sparky31676]

You have two different issues at hand however.
I also want to warn you that the more issues you bring up the more likely you are to be told what my husband was during a modification hearing and his schedule is less trouble then yours. 50/50 custody is not popular. Society believes that there should be a 'custodial parent' in every issue that gets to make the ultimate decision on issues. In 50/50 that's not possible. It's extremely important in 50/50 situations to bend over more backwards then normal to make the situation work. Other wise as in my husband's case the judge will say "If you can't agree on things someone needs to file for custody". It then becomes a war. There will be one parent 'winning' and one parent 'losing' but either way the child loses. Now, let's say the judge says that and you decide to file. It becomes much tougher then a normal custody battle. You would have a harder time of proving the other parent 'unfit'. It becomes a larger issue of finding out what hills are worth dying on. So you have to ask yourself is it worth the trouble it could cause to argue the fact of the child spending time with g'ma and dad is doing what HE has to in order to provide for the child. You are arguing NOT to give HIM extra time and put your child in preschool and day care on your days.. but then fighting to have the child when he uses someone outside the home.

And again CS is a separate issue then the visitation schedule or who cares for the child on each parent's time. More then likely unless this has been addressed in the motion already you may not be able to argue that in March.

Thank you again. I have already filed for my Pro Se custody modification, it is next week. We can't agree on anything as you said can be an issue with 50/50 and there is another major issue as well, but I don't want to get into all of that.
The fact is the center is GREAT for my son. His learning, potty training, listening, behavior, language, schaedule, EVERYTHING, has advanced so much in these 3 months.
Ex, his bro., and grandam all live at grandma's. There not the average family (to say the least) when it comes to respect, behavior, and values.
My son has a huge vocabulary in the swearing dept which has tapered between my whining about it and less time spent at their house.
Anyways, I don't want to get off the subject, I just was curious in case the custody doesn't get modified what options I had with the care. Dad should be a part of son's life, but "Best Interest" is an important battle for me.
Thanks.