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custodial parent sabotaging income potential

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5times_a_mom

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in the sate of Nevada and have been ordered to pay child support for 3 out of four of my older children. The oldest is an adult. I have been seeking employment for the past 3 years, but between limited/no experience, a bad economy and limited hours that I'm available to work, I've been unsuccessful. Recently, I started writing for two websites, associatedcontent.com and helium.com to try to bring in enough income to pay my child support myself instead of having to have my husband pay it, because it's not fair to him to have to pay my obligations.

Now this is the problem, my ex-husband has discovered that by flagging all my articles, he can get as many as possible removed, which prevents me from getting paid, and if he gets enough removed, may eventually get me kicked off of these websites. He is sabotaging my ability to bring in income from these sites. I'm willing to pay my child support, but I need an income to do so, and if he sabotages my income, I will be unable to pay. Do I, as the parent who actually owes child support have any recourse against him and his wife being able to sabotage my income? On the articles that they cannot get removed, they leave comments that are meant to damage my credibility. There has to be some way to get this to stop.

They have also mentioned how much they want me to go to jail, claiming that's actually more important to them than the money.
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in the sate of Nevada and have been ordered to pay child support for 3 out of four of my older children. The oldest is an adult. I have been seeking employment for the past 3 years, but between limited/no experience, a bad economy and limited hours that I'm available to work, I've been unsuccessful. Recently, I started writing for two websites, ----- to try to bring in enough income to pay my child support myself instead of having to have my husband pay it, because it's not fair to him to have to pay my obligations.

Now this is the problem, my ex-husband has discovered that by flagging all my articles, he can get as many as possible removed, which prevents me from getting paid, and if he gets enough removed, may eventually get me kicked off of these websites. He is sabotaging my ability to bring in income from these sites. I'm willing to pay my child support, but I need an income to do so, and if he sabotages my income, I will be unable to pay. Do I, as the parent who actually owes child support have any recourse against him and his wife being able to sabotage my income? On the articles that they cannot get removed, they leave comments that are meant to damage my credibility. There has to be some way to get this to stop.

They have also mentioned how much they want me to go to jail, claiming that's actually more important to them than the money.
How do you plan to PROVE it is him, and/or his wife?

Why do you not discuss this with your employers?
 

5times_a_mom

Junior Member
They have told me that it's them gloating each time they get an article erased. The comments they leave are in their names with their new baby's picture, so I know that's them, too. I would discuss this with the employer if it were a regular job, but as it's online I can't really do that, but would I be out of line in sending an email to the websites asking them to keep an eye out for the same people flagging my content every time, as if it's a vendetta, or am I better off leaving well enough alone and just keeping on with the writing and let them do what they're going to do.

For now, my husband is paying my child support until I can find work other than the writing. Granted, I don't make a lot of money from the writing, but what I do make helps to offset the cost of the child support. The thing is, I feel that they are doing everything in their power to keep me from becoming successful as a writer, and it's not right. It's not like I'm not out looking for a "real" job either. I've even been turned down for jobs at McDonald's and Wendy's, and I thought fast food jobs were supposed to be the easiest to get.

I already have my child support as low as they'll let me go. I guess I'm just a little depressed because I want to pay but can't do it by myself, and frustrated with a fruitless job hunt and then it seems they're just adding insult to injury. They also go around telling people I know, and even posting online about my "willful" unemployment. What's so willful about trying to find work and being unable to because of the economy and lack of experience. What's willful about trying to bring in an income even without a job. It also hurts to know these are the attitudes that my children are being raised with about their mother.

This may be a different topic, but they also keep threatening to have my support raised because of my husband's income and get his wages attached. I didn't think they could do that, but I want to be sure.
 
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Gracie3787

Senior Member
Gather up all of the proof you can get and then get a consult with an attorney to see if what you have will be enough to go into court with.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Consider publishing under a pseudonym, for a while.

They have told me that it's them gloating each time they get an article erased. The comments they leave are in their names with their new baby's picture, so I know that's them, too. I would discuss this with the employer if it were a regular job, but as it's online I can't really do that, but would I be out of line in sending an email to the websites asking them to keep an eye out for the same people flagging my content every time, as if it's a vendetta, or am I better off leaving well enough alone and just keeping on with the writing and let them do what they're going to do.

For now, my husband is paying my child support until I can find work other than the writing. Granted, I don't make a lot of money from the writing, but what I do make helps to offset the cost of the child support. The thing is, I feel that they are doing everything in their power to keep me from becoming successful as a writer, and it's not right. It's not like I'm not out looking for a "real" job either. I've even been turned down for jobs at McDonald's and Wendy's, and I thought fast food jobs were supposed to be the easiest to get.

I already have my child support as low as they'll let me go. I guess I'm just a little depressed because I want to pay but can't do it by myself, and frustrated with a fruitless job hunt and then it seems they're just adding insult to injury. They also go around telling people I know, and even posting online about my "willful" unemployment. What's so willful about trying to find work and being unable to because of the economy and lack of experience. What's willful about trying to bring in an income even without a job. It also hurts to know these are the attitudes that my children are being raised with about their mother.

This may be a different topic, but they also keep threatening to have my support raised because of my husband's income and get his wages attached. I didn't think they could do that, but I want to be sure.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I have been seeking employment for the past 3 years, but between limited/no experience, a bad economy and limited hours that I'm available to work, I've been unsuccessful.
The bolded is what's likely causing you problems in finding a job. I work retail, and I get applications every day from people who can only work 9-2, M-F, no holidays. Well... that's nice, but we're open 10-9, seven days a week. And we're open every day except Thanksgiving and Christmas. I already HAVE long-time employees who work the 9-2 shift, and others who would like to. I'm not going to bump them to closing to accommodate a newb. Also... I close two (sometimes three) nights a week and work one day of the weekend - so I expect anyone I take on to be willing to at least close once and work part of the weekend. Same with holidays. No one WANTS to work them, but someone has to. I don't ask my people to do something I'm not willing to, so I work almost every holiday.

So, really... I don't have a lot of room for people whose availability is limited. And I doubt I'm unusual in that. See what you can do to expend your availability - it may make you a more attractive candidate.
 

Artemis_ofthe_Hunt

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in the sate of Nevada and have been ordered to pay child support for 3 out of four of my older children. The oldest is an adult. I have been seeking employment for the past 3 years, but between limited/no experience, a bad economy and limited hours that I'm available to work,
Gimme a break... boo hoo. :rolleyes:
I've been unsuccessful. Recently, I started writing for two websites, associatedcontent.com and helium.com to try to bring in enough income to pay my child support myself instead of having to have my husband pay it, because it's not fair to him to have to pay my obligations.
You got that one right. :rolleyes:

Now this is the problem, my ex-husband has discovered that by flagging all my articles, he can get as many as possible removed, which prevents me from getting paid, and if he gets enough removed, may eventually get me kicked off of these websites. He is sabotaging my ability to bring in income from these sites. I'm willing to pay my child support, but I need an income to do so, and if he sabotages my income, I will be unable to pay. Do I, as the parent who actually owes child support have any recourse against him and his wife being able to sabotage my income? On the articles that they cannot get removed, they leave comments that are meant to damage my credibility. There has to be some way to get this to stop.

They have also mentioned how much they want me to go to jail, claiming that's actually more important to them than the money.
I'd go so far as to say you're enabling him/them to sabotage your income in your willingness to publically publish WHERE you're writing online. How about NOT telling everyone who you're working for.... or is this actually an attempt to get hits on your site by publishing your site?

They have told me that it's them gloating each time they get an article erased. The comments they leave are in their names with their new baby's picture, so I know that's them, too. I would discuss this with the employer if it were a regular job, but as it's online I can't really do that, but would I be out of line in sending an email to the websites asking them to keep an eye out for the same people flagging my content every time, as if it's a vendetta, or am I better off leaving well enough alone and just keeping on with the writing and let them do what they're going to do.
I wouldn't think that it was out of line, IF and ONLY if they had found the sites of their own volition and resourcefulness instead of your apparent carelessness. However, since you hold at least SOME responsibility in this, I'd say you're going to have to suck it up and find a way to get around their flagging your articles. Try the suggestion from Silverplum and write under a Psuedonym.

For now, my husband is paying my child support until I can find work other than the writing. Granted, I don't make a lot of money from the writing, but what I do make helps to offset the cost of the child support. The thing is, I feel that they are doing everything in their power to keep me from becoming successful as a writer, and it's not right. It's not like I'm not out looking for a "real" job either. I've even been turned down for jobs at McDonald's and Wendy's, and I thought fast food jobs were supposed to be the easiest to get.
Contrary to popular belief, employment which would seem to be the easiest to obtain actually aren't. Those types of employers aren't in the business to train someone, paying them all the while, knowing that the prospect is overqualified to work there and will be leaving the second they are able. Its just not good business practice. You could hardly blame them.

I already have my child support as low as they'll let me go. I guess I'm just a little depressed because I want to pay but can't do it by myself, and frustrated with a fruitless job hunt and then it seems they're just adding insult to injury. They also go around telling people I know, and even posting online about my "willful" unemployment. What's so willful about trying to find work and being unable to because of the economy and lack of experience. What's willful about trying to bring in an income even without a job. It also hurts to know these are the attitudes that my children are being raised with about their mother.

This may be a different topic, but they also keep threatening to have my support raised because of my husband's income and get his wages attached. I didn't think they could do that, but I want to be sure.
Unless there's something I'm not aware of, your husband is a legal stranger and NOT responsible for YOUR financial obligations to YOUR children.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Contrary to popular belief, employment which would seem to be the easiest to obtain actually aren't. Those types of employers aren't in the business to train someone, paying them all the while, knowing that the prospect is overqualified to work there and will be leaving the second they are able. Its just not good business practice. You could hardly blame them.
Actually, a lot of businesses don't worry about that - especially at this point in time. LOL If my boss did, I wouldn't have a job.

We look for people who need work - and want TO work. Lead time for most retail work really is not that onerous. I can train someone in less than a week to ring, price, stock and help customers. My 16yo picked up the register in an hour. "Those types of employers" want people who are motivated and not going to stand around texting.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
I wonder....

what is the subject that the OP is writing about? Is it them and/or the kids? I refuse to believe they'd be flagging an article on Popular Mechanics or something. There's something objectionable in the writing.
 

Artemis_ofthe_Hunt

Senior Member
Actually, a lot of businesses don't worry about that - especially at this point in time. LOL If my boss did, I wouldn't have a job.

We look for people who need work - and want TO work. Lead time for most retail work really is not that onerous. I can train someone in less than a week to ring, price, stock and help customers. My 16yo picked up the register in an hour. "Those types of employers" want people who are motivated and not going to stand around texting.
Actually, what I wrote about the business practice was almost verbatim what I was told by MY employer (at the time) when my brother (who has FAR more education than I) applied and was turned down. So maybe in the decade or so since I had to apply for less skilled jobs (not meant offensively) things have changed.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Actually, what I wrote about the business practice was almost verbatim what I was told by MY employer (at the time) when my brother (who has FAR more education than I) applied and was turned down. So maybe in the decade or so since I had to apply for less skilled jobs (not meant offensively) things have changed.
Yeah, things have changed - have you looked at the economy lately? Employers are looking a lot more at skill set than over-qualification.

And, no, I didn't take offense at the "less skilled" comment. But... I've learned something from my experience working retail. I do have a technical degree from a well-known university, and I worked in an adjunct to my field for many years. I had good reason for changing fields after a lay-off, and don't regret that decision. BUT, what I have learned? Those "unskilled jobs"? Actually do require some skill. They're not all grunt work, and they're not all mindless "put this here" work. There's a lot of visual and spatial work involved. And people skills.

You can't say enough about people skills (which, sadly, a lot of folks in those "skilled jobs" don't have). I have been yelled at, sworn at, spit upon (literally) and looked down upon for working where I do. And we are supposed to take it with a smile and a "Have a lovely day, sir/ma'am."

But back to OP. She is obviously NOT in the "over qualified" camp. So that was all a moot point for her. Her main issue is likely availability.
 

Artemis_ofthe_Hunt

Senior Member
Yeah, things have changed - have you looked at the economy lately? Employers are looking a lot more at skill set than over-qualification.
Yeah, I've only been here at my job now for 1 1/2 years, and haven't been looking, I'm happy where I am. But I do know a lot of people (family and friends) who haven't been as lucky as I am to be employed after an econonimically motivated lay-off.

And, no, I didn't take offense at the "less skilled" comment.
Whew! :eek:

But... I've learned something from my experience working retail. I do have a technical degree from a well-known university, and I worked in an adjunct to my field for many years. I had good reason for changing fields after a lay-off, and don't regret that decision. BUT, what I have learned? Those "unskilled jobs"? Actually do require some skill. They're not all grunt work, and they're not all mindless "put this here" work. There's a lot of visual and spatial work involved. And people skills.
You bet I know that one! I haven't said it enough recently, but THANK YOU to all of those people who say "hi" and "have a nice day".

You can't say enough about people skills (which, sadly, a lot of folks in those "skilled jobs" don't have). I have been yelled at, sworn at, spit upon (literally) and looked down upon for working where I do. And we are supposed to take it with a smile and a "Have a lovely day, sir/ma'am."

But back to OP. She is obviously NOT in the "over qualified" camp. So that was all a moot point for her. Her main issue is likely availability.
Wasn't saying that she was over qualified :)confused: if it came across as such... I apologize) was just making a comment on the fact that some of those "easy to get jobs" aren't necessarily.
 

5times_a_mom

Junior Member
I see this message board is just like many others I've been on. Some people are here to help while others are here just to bash and kick people while they're down. I think it's fairly obvious that I want to take care of my obligations, but I am unable to at this time. I'm very fortunate to have a loving husband who is willing to help me when times get tough very unlike the man that I left who, like a select few people here, finds pleasure in kicking people when they're down and pointing out faults they already know they have.

I do know that my limited hours are probably the biggest problem. Unfortunately, day care for my 2 year old costs more than I can make in a day, so my husband would be paying for my child support anyway. It would technically come out of my check, but actually cost us more in the long run, both financially and in time spent together.

In the meantime, I will collect as much evidence as I can gather and if it gets any worse than it already is, I will consult a local attorney about it. I'm also doing everything I can to bring in an income, with or without a job. I'm doing online surveys, writing online as well as working on a book for later publication. I'm also looking into other options such as selling craft projects both locally and online. In spite of the frustration, I won't stop looking for work for any longer than it takes to gather myself together again after every round of rejections. I'm going to do whatever it takes to take care of this.

I wish I could pay my child support as an allowance to my children since they deserve it but my ex does not deserve a dime. That, however is just wishful thinking and can't legally happen. At least they'll be fully grown soon so I won't have to worry about thie anymore. My daughter is already 18, and gorgeous. My oldest son is 17, and the other boys are 15 and 11. It won't be long before they're fully grown at all.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Dang - was writing to the wrong poster! My apologies for the confusion!
 
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