Dad claims he is too much of a drunk to pay support!!!

[Concerned in CT]

What is the name of your state? Connecticut

Hello,
My ex husband is in jail for noone will post bail on a disorderly conduct charge. His court date keeps getting postponed by a month each time. I recently found out he is going to ask to modify the support order for his health issues have rendered him unemployable he says! (He has been in and out of the hospital and rehabs for about a year but continues to drink.) He never pays anyways but will they really terminate his support legally because he is an alcoholic? If so, I think it is great way to encourage alcoholism! Just drink alot if you want a way out of child support! What should or can I do?!

 

[Ambr]

Personally.....would take all of those statements from him on how is an alcoholic and drug user and file them away for when he is trying for a modification of custody / visitation --- those are GOLD!!!

I don't know about your state, but don't most states have a process that he can file to stop the arrearages while he is in jail???? Just a thought.

In all honesty, if you aren't getting anything now you won't miss it when he doesnt pay. Sounds like rehab -- or counseling at least --- would be a good thing for him. Shoot can't hurt anything.

But I can't see him getting out of it all together. heck --- maybe you will get lucky and they will label him disabled --- then they can garnish his disability check.

 

[Concerned in CT]

LOL How did you know that is one of his favs?! Thank you legalcuriosity for your reply! I do hope you are right! He has $$ for a lawyer but not child support too!! Funny how that works! I have sole custody already - anything more that I can do on that? Does a doctor really have to declare him unemplolyable and do they have to show this letter to the judge? And if they find him unemployable due to his disease then I would think having visits with his child should stop. If he is incapable of having a job then he should not be able to take on the responsibility of a child right? Unless court supervised at the least? He was on life support, etc. but keeps getting out and doing rehab for a week or two and then right back to drinking! (Are there guidelines on what constitutes being "unemployable" due to substance abuse?) I wish we did get interest on child support! If I didn't pay my bills I would have to pay late fees, interest, etc. He has an interest free loan! (Must be nice!) My boyfriend pays his CS every week! (Without an attachment even! LOL!) So I have seen the other side and he pays in advance since he has seen what a deadbeat some NCP's can be!
Thanks again!

 

[Concerned in CT]

Thank you for your reply!

Thank you too Ambr! I am not sure! Isn't that scary?! I just learned that he can go on disability for being an addict about a month ago!!! Again what a great way to enable them! "Hey if you go ALL OUT with your addiction then WE will pay YOU not to work rather getting fired!!" I do know that for some it is a disease and I am sympathetic for those that are working hard at recovery! But I had a close friend with cancer that did everything they were told to help and they lost the battle. It infuriated them that there are those out there that have a choice! Stop "this" and you will live. He is making his life choices. Saddest part is his child that has no say in them! Thanks agin!

 

[nextwife]

He could be 50 and STILL be paying what he owed 40 years prior.

If he's THAT much of a drunk, it is highly possible he won't see age 50. Between drunk driving, impaired judgement, and liver disease, I wouldn't tell anyone to expect to collect that long. If they do, great, but I wouldn't count on it.

 

[Gracie3787]

I just learned that he can go on disability for being an addict about a month ago!!!!

Although the other replies are correct in that the arrears won't go away and will continue to add up- The sad reality is that there is a HUGE difference between what he owes and what you canactually collect . For that reason, I have a different point of view on the situation:

If your main concern is actually collecting some support, as strange as this sounds, it may be better for you to play along with his claim of total disability.
If he really is considered to be disabled by the Dr.s he should apply for SSDI, it may take a year or 2, but if he gets SSDI, his CS will be taken out of it, or your child may recieve a SS check also. Under his circumstances, it is THE ONLY WAY OF ACTUALLY RECIEVING CS from him.

Just another idea for you, hope it helps. Good luck.
Gracie

 

[Concerned in CT]

Thank you all for your replies!

Just wanted to write and thank everyone for their time and help!