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Daughter left FL to visit dad in NC decides she wants to live there

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s.h

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
My daughter was born in North Carolina. Her dad left when she was a baby and he is in on the birth certificate. My daughter and I lived in Indiana for 16 yrs until I moved us to Florida. I never took him to court I just let him pay whatever he wanted. Now because I have supposibly raised my daughter to be smart and mature she says she doesn't fit in with kids her age and believes living with her dad will be more relaxed. She went there on vacation and just never came home, and I am devistated. He is stopping the little support he was giving me and now requesting I pay child support(he says his attorney said I had to even if he doesn't want it). He is in the military therefore housing and insurance are already paid for. My husband now is older and doesn't work plus I have 2 other children.
1. Can I go back and collect the 16 yrs of actual child support?(I really don't want it but I don't like how this game has been played)
2. Does he have to request support or can he deny it.
3. He wants a parenting plan but she is 16, and I can't honestly say I wish to be around her at this time. I know sounds horrible as a mom to say that. I am just in complete shock.
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida
My daughter was born in North Carolina. Her dad left when she was a baby and he is in on the birth certificate. My daughter and I lived in Indiana for 16 yrs until I moved us to Florida. I never took him to court I just let him pay whatever he wanted. Now because I have supposibly raised my daughter to be smart and mature she says she doesn't fit in with kids her age and believes living with her dad will be more relaxed. She went there on vacation and just never came home, and I am devistated. He is stopping the little support he was giving me and now requesting I pay child support(he says his attorney said I had to even if he doesn't want it). He is in the military therefore housing and insurance are already paid for. My husband now is older and doesn't work plus I have 2 other children.
1. Can I go back and collect the 16 yrs of actual child support?(I really don't want it but I don't like how this game has been played)
2. Does he have to request support or can he deny it.
3. He wants a parenting plan but she is 16, and I can't honestly say I wish to be around her at this time. I know sounds horrible as a mom to say that. I am just in complete shock.
1: No, you can't go back and collect for 16 years of child support.
2: He doesn't HAVE to request support, but it sounds like he wants to.
3: Tell him "No, take her, I'm done!" - that should settle that matter. With that said, it's really in your best interest to participate as a parent now, or you may not get the opportunity to later.
 

s.h

Junior Member
1: No, you can't go back and collect for 16 years of child support.
2: He doesn't HAVE to request support, but it sounds like he wants to.
3: Tell him "No, take her, I'm done!" - that should settle that matter. With that said, it's really in your best interest to participate as a parent now, or you may not get the opportunity to later.
Thank you for the reply. I do understand that and will stay in contact with her of course. I love my daughter. I just know that a mistake is going to happen and then she is going to wish she never did this. That family is very shady so I have a very strong sense of betrayal and disappointment. I would never in a million years thought this would happen.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
This is an instance when it would be most wise to stamp down one's emotions and deal with the situation factually and with as much detachment as one can muster. An attorney can really help with handling communications for you during the stormiest part.
 

s.h

Junior Member
This is an instance when it would be most wise to stamp down one's emotions and deal with the situation factually and with as much detachment as one can muster. An attorney can really help with handling communications for you during the stormiest part.
Thank you. I am trying to keep myself composed, but it isn't working I cry daily. He has never been a solid part of her life just a couple weeks in the summer. Since our move and since I married he seems to always want to be around and on the phone with me. She is old enough to have conversations with him or me. There is no reason for him and I to speak. So maybe an attorney to do the talking would be wise.
 

s.h

Junior Member
You say you never took him to court. Are there any orders currently in place for things like visitation and custody?
No. I was just nice and made time. But North Carolina law I guess from who I called says... Since we are both on the certificate and there isn't a custody order in place we are both the parents so he has the same rights. She went out for her summer vacation and I allowed her to stay out longer this year since they both showed interest in spending a little more time. I even agreed to Christmas and spring break this year. So I didn't even get to hug her good bye or nothing. It was pretty much done all behind my back.
 
No. I was just nice and made time. But North Carolina law I guess from who I called says... Since we are both on the certificate and there isn't a custody order in place we are both the parents so he has the same rights. She went out for her summer vacation and I allowed her to stay out longer this year since they both showed interest in spending a little more time. I even agreed to Christmas and spring break this year. So I didn't even get to hug her good bye or nothing. It was pretty much done all behind my back.
Then I strongly suggest that you RUN down to the local family court and file for visitation and child support BEFORE your daughter lives in NC long enough to establish residency. Even if you are consenting to the move, filing for support in FL will ensure that FL family court will retain jurisdiction forcing dad to come to FL for any issues involving your daughter. He cannot file for support in NC until she's lived there long enough to establish residency.

Time is not on your side.
 

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