Daughters father wants some child support back

[mugwumpery]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My daughters father just started paying regular payments for child support because he finally has a stable job. he is paying 800.00 a month which seems a bit much but thats what the courts have issued him to pay. anyway he is asking for me to give him 500.00 back and for me to keep 300.00 for his daughter. i just dont know what to say to him he is a really bad temper and im tempted to give to him to just keep him calm, but she is 7 yrs old and for 6 yrs i have been 100% responsible for her, not that im complaining but can he ask for money back. he said that he will not be able to afford all tha money been taking out that only leaves him with 1000.00 a month to live off of, he has bills and rent no car though. so i just dont know what to do or to tell him.
please help me understand this

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My daughters father just started paying regular payments for child support because he finally has a stable job. he is paying 800.00 a month which seems a bit much but thats what the courts have issued him to pay. anyway he is asking for me to give him 500.00 back and for me to keep 300.00 for his daughter. i just dont know what to say to him he is a really bad temper and im tempted to give to him to just keep him calm, but she is 7 yrs old and for 6 yrs i have been 100% responsible for her, not that im complaining but can he ask for money back. he said that he will not be able to afford all tha money been taking out that only leaves him with 1000.00 a month to live off of, he has bills and rent no car though. so i just dont know what to do or to tell him.
please help me understand this

Tell him to pound sand. Aside for getting the support that is ordered for your daughter, his finances are not your problem.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My daughters father just started paying regular payments for child support because he finally has a stable job. he is paying 800.00 a month which seems a bit much but thats what the courts have issued him to pay. anyway he is asking for me to give him 500.00 back and for me to keep 300.00 for his daughter. i just dont know what to say to him he is a really bad temper and im tempted to give to him to just keep him calm, but she is 7 yrs old and for 6 yrs i have been 100% responsible for her, not that im complaining but can he ask for money back. he said that he will not be able to afford all tha money been taking out that only leaves him with 1000.00 a month to live off of, he has bills and rent no car though. so i just dont know what to do or to tell him.
please help me understand this

Ditto Wireless's post. If his income has changed since the order was made he can go back and try to have it modified.

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My daughters father just started paying regular payments for child support because he finally has a stable job. he is paying 800.00 a month which seems a bit much but thats what the courts have issued him to pay. anyway he is asking for me to give him 500.00 back and for me to keep 300.00 for his daughter. i just dont know what to say to him he is a really bad temper and im tempted to give to him to just keep him calm, but she is 7 yrs old and for 6 yrs i have been 100% responsible for her, not that im complaining but can he ask for money back. he said that he will not be able to afford all tha money been taking out that only leaves him with 1000.00 a month to live off of, he has bills and rent no car though. so i just dont know what to do or to tell him.
please help me understand this

Legally, you do not have to give any money back.

This is an issue that is totally up to you, you cannot get into any legal trouble either way you choose.

If you don't want to give any back, simply tell him that and remind him that the CS is paying for his daughter's needs. Don't let him scare you into doing anything you are not comfortable doing. If he gets mad, let him, he'll get over it with time.

 

[oneklub]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My daughters father just started paying regular payments for child support because he finally has a stable job. he is paying 800.00 a month which seems a bit much but thats what the courts have issued him to pay. anyway he is asking for me to give him 500.00 back and for me to keep 300.00 for his daughter. i just dont know what to say to him he is a really bad temper and im tempted to give to him to just keep him calm, but she is 7 yrs old and for 6 yrs i have been 100% responsible for her, not that im complaining but can he ask for money back. he said that he will not be able to afford all tha money been taking out that only leaves him with 1000.00 a month to live off of, he has bills and rent no car though. so i just dont know what to do or to tell him.
please help me understand this

1) Keep in mind that YOU are in control here. You have the court order. If you feel bullied, there are books out there that can help you deal with bullies and manipulative people.

2) Sure. He can ask for his money back. He could ask for a new house on the moon, too. You don't have to give it to him.

3) Now, if he gets his act together and begins to treat you with the dignity you deserve, you may wish to give him some money back. If the child support you receive is more than the child needs, then I would say that it is morally wrong for you to take the extra money. Figure out your how much you actually need for your daughter and give the rest back to him. (Since you do not have to do this, you may want to tell him that you will only give him the money IF he changes his bad behavior and you will stop giving it to him if he begins acting out again.

4) Considering that he didn't pay you for 6 years, I'm not sure he's entitled to ANY money back. How far in arrears is he? Is he paying by check or does the $800 come directly from his salary?

 

[Proserpina]

3) Now, if he gets his act together and begins to treat you with the dignity you deserve, you may wish to give him some money back. If the child support you receive is more than the child needs, then I would say that it is morally wrong for you to take the extra money. Figure out your how much you actually need for your daughter and give the rest back to him. (Since you do not have to do this, you may want to tell him that you will only give him the money IF he changes his bad behavior and you will stop giving it to him if he begins acting out again.

I strongly disagree with this - he isn't the child here. Bribing Dad to play nicely otherwise he won't get his "treat" (the money) is not a good idea.

Should Mom feel the amount is truly excessive, put it into a college fund for kiddo.

(and morality doesn't enter the equation)

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

1) Keep in mind that YOU are in control here. You have the court order. If you feel bullied, there are books out there that can help you deal with bullies and manipulative people.

2) Sure. He can ask for his money back. He could ask for a new house on the moon, too. You don't have to give it to him.

3) Now, if he gets his act together and begins to treat you with the dignity you deserve, you may wish to give him some money back. If the child support you receive is more than the child needs, then I would say that it is morally wrong for you to take the extra money. Figure out your how much you actually need for your daughter and give the rest back to him. (Since you do not have to do this, you may want to tell him that you will only give him the money IF he changes his bad behavior and you will stop giving it to him if he begins acting out again.

4) Considering that he didn't pay you for 6 years, I'm not sure he's entitled to ANY money back. How far in arrears is he? Is he paying by check or does the $800 come directly from his salary?

By that thinking if I make more at work than I need to live off I should give my employer back some money....Um No. Morally and legally she is not bound, required or obligated to pay back any monies to the dad.

 

[isthisjobforme]

If the child support you receive is more than the child needs, then I would say that it is morally wrong for you to take the extra money. Figure out your how much you actually need for your daughter and give the rest back to him.

Are you serious? Morally wrong? Not even a little bit.

If the amount you are given is more than you need on a monthly basis put the rest into a savings account. Unless you are a high earner and/or a lottery winner you will need that money for your child someday down the road. If nothing else you'll be getting a great start on a college fund.

 

[Adalaide78]

If the child support you receive is more than the child needs, then I would say that it is morally wrong for you to take the extra money. Figure out your how much you actually need for your daughter and give the rest back to him.

I was told by the workers at Domestic Relations (CS people in PA) that child support paid is a reimbursement for whatever the custodial parent has to spend money on for the child. They word it this way because this prevents the arguement of "but she's 18 now, I shouldn't still owe that support I never paid." Consider it reimbursement and as somene else stated, put it in a college fund if there's extra money or maybe even a savings account. If he went that long without paying who knows if he'll stop again and that savings account could come in handy.