Daycare/child support

[birkett1]

I have shared parenting with my child's father. We were never married. He is responsible for paying for my child daycare/ preschool and has moved it 30 mins in the opposite direction of my job with hours that are after my start time. This has caused me to have to change my schedule which is eating into my time with my son as well as my time to work. I may lose my job. His attorney also had his child support figured on what he made the last three years and my future earnings. What can I do about the daycare being in an area and at a time which fits my schedule since he is self employed and makes his own schedule and I do not. and what can I do about support since he is just claiming 20000 a year yet owns 10 properties?e name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

 

[LdiJ]

I have shared parenting with my child's father. We were never married. He is responsible for paying for my child daycare/ preschool and has moved it 30 mins in the opposite direction of my job with hours that are after my start time. This has caused me to have to change my schedule which is eating into my time with my son as well as my time to work. I may lose my job. His attorney also had his child support figured on what he made the last three years and my future earnings. What can I do about the daycare being in an area and at a time which fits my schedule since he is self employed and makes his own schedule and I do not. and what can I do about support since he is just claiming 20000 a year yet owns 10 properties?e name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

Does your court order allow him to arbitrarily choose the daycare?

 

[birkett1]

Does your court order allow him to arbitrarily choose the daycare?

No, it does not, but he knows that I cannot afford to pay for a new daycare/preschool at $170 a week. He changed his preschool, informed me and his previous preschool of the change a week before it happened and refused to pay for his previous preschool if I filed a motion and since he is self employed and does not technically need child care on his days, he said he would just keep him at home. He told me good luck at finding some place for him to be in 6 to 8 wks after we go to court since most places that are highly rated in the Cleveland area have long waiting list. I guess he put my son on this waiting list months before notifying me of the change.

 

[birkett1]

Does your court order allow him to arbitrarily choose the daycare?

I am the residential parent for school purposes but I am not quite sure and he has told me that preschool is not school.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am the residential parent for school purposes but I am not quite sure and he has told me that preschool is not school.

Preschool is not school. You could file a motion in court regarding the fact that dad unilaterally changed the day care. Do you have JOINT LEGAL custody? What does your shared parenting plan state regarding who makes decisions?

 

[birkett1]

Preschool is not school. You could file a motion in court regarding the fact that dad unilaterally changed the day care. Do you have JOINT LEGAL custody? What does your shared parenting plan state regarding who makes decisions?

we have a shared parenting plan filed I Juvenile court because we were not married. It is stated that if we cannot reach an agreement on any issue other than those granted to me as far as his schooling is concerned that we are to file a motion. He did it and stated that like I said before if I file the motion that he will not pay for any child care until we went back to court. I do not have family in this area and am not quite sure how I will afford it, but I may just have to take a loan out of my 401k to pay for child care until we go back to court on the matter. But what do I file.. meaning what type of motion. There are so many grey areas in our agreement like this one, I wish I could afford an attorney.

it only states "Father is providing payment of daycare expenses for the child. Mother is providing health insurance coverage, all identified in the child support computation worksheet attached hereto.

 

[birkett1]

Preschool is not school. You could file a motion in court regarding the fact that dad unilaterally changed the day care. Do you have JOINT LEGAL custody? What does your shared parenting plan state regarding who makes decisions?

It only states that " Father and Mother shall mutually agree upon the selection of appropriate professionals to render services to the minor child, including, not limited to physicians and/ or dentists. If the parties cannot agree, the Mothers decision will control.".. I wish I could send you a copy of this thing .. it's so "grey".

 

[LdiJ]

I have shared parenting with my child's father. We were never married. He is responsible for paying for my child daycare/ preschool and has moved it 30 mins in the opposite direction of my job with hours that are after my start time. This has caused me to have to change my schedule which is eating into my time with my son as well as my time to work. I may lose my job. His attorney also had his child support figured on what he made the last three years and my future earnings. What can I do about the daycare being in an area and at a time which fits my schedule since he is self employed and makes his own schedule and I do not. and what can I do about support since he is just claiming 20000 a year yet owns 10 properties?e name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

Well, you could start taking him to dad's in the morning before you have to go to work, and tell dad that since he arbitrarily selected a daycare that doesn't open before you have to be at work, then he will have to drop off the child at daycare.

However, I like your idea of calling dad's bluff by borrowing money from your 401k to pay for daycare during the period of time that he has threatened not to pay. Then, you file for contempt for him changing the daycare AND his failure to pay for the daycare.

As far as child support is concerned, about the only way that you could get his income to be considered to be higher for child support purposes, would be to find an attorney willing to argue that any non cash expenses that he is claiming (such as depreciation and perhaps mileage) get added back to his income.

However realistically, he may very well only be clearing (after expenses) 20k from the ownership of 10 properties.

 

[birkett1]

Well, you could start taking him to dad's in the morning before you have to go to work, and tell dad that since he arbitrarily selected a daycare that doesn't open before you have to be at work, then he will have to drop off the child at daycare.

However, I like your idea of calling dad's bluff by borrowing money from your 401k to pay for daycare during the period of time that he has threatened not to pay. Then, you file for contempt for him changing the daycare AND his failure to pay for the daycare.

As far as child support is concerned, about the only way that you could get his income to be considered to be higher for child support purposes, would be to find an attorney willing to argue that any non cash expenses that he is claiming (such as depreciation and perhaps mileage) get added back to his income.

However realistically, he may very well only be clearing (after expenses) 20k from the ownership of 10 properties.

I am going to go to juvenile court today and file.. it will take 10 business days for me to get the funds from my 401k.. at a loss or penalty of 7%. I have already changed my schedule to accommodate for the new preschool. I can only work 3 12s because of it when I use to be able to work 44 hrs. I have put him back on the waiting list at the preschool by my house. There are 3 people ahead of me. But he may be able to make it into the pre k class for next fall. I am not quite sure of what form to file but they do have something called a blank motion. I think from what I heard this is the best route but either way I will be asking that he pay the $125 it is going to cost me to file. I am looking into the Metlaw /Hyatt offered by my employer. Do you have any experience with or thoughts on the program.

 

[birkett1]

Well, you could start taking him to dad's in the morning before you have to go to work, and tell dad that since he arbitrarily selected a daycare that doesn't open before you have to be at work, then he will have to drop off the child at daycare.

However, I like your idea of calling dad's bluff by borrowing money from your 401k to pay for daycare during the period of time that he has threatened not to pay. Then, you file for contempt for him changing the daycare AND his failure to pay for the daycare.

As far as child support is concerned, about the only way that you could get his income to be considered to be higher for child support purposes, would be to find an attorney willing to argue that any non cash expenses that he is claiming (such as depreciation and perhaps mileage) get added back to his income.

However realistically, he may very well only be clearing (after expenses) 20k from the ownership of 10 properties.

Speaking to the child support, we started that business together. He does not only own 10 properties but he is a general contractor and works on many side projects throughout the year as well as the profit he makes for the properties he flips. He lives rent free in one of the properties he has under the company and the company pays for his utilities, car payment, and other expenses. He has money to buy a new sail boat, 2 wk trips four times this year(one of which was a trip for him and his daughter to universal studios, stayed in the park for a week and then another week in house in Florida) . We lived together for 4 years, we have been apart for 2.5 and my son is 3. He makes on an average about 65,000 a year. He has always claimed about 20,000. He has even managed to get signed up for a program so that his child care is only 30 dollars a week. His business partner has a trust fund and buys the properties with his money as "the bank" and collects 4% interest for doing so. When properties are sold they pay the debit and split the profit. The last one netting him a return of 15,000. I gathered this information to collet for CS. Most of the transactions can be found on our county auditors site. I was told to hire a forensic accountant through an attorney but I am wondering if it is just costing me money in the long run. I mean I work way to much and spend way too little time with my son as it is. He works like 15 hrs a week and plays the role of the fun dad being able to take my son to do things I can't afford or do I have time to do. I am not saying he is not a good father.. he is to my son. He is just a controller when it comes to me, even though we are not together.

 

[Ohiogal]

Speaking to the child support, we started that business together. He does not only own 10 properties but he is a general contractor and works on many side projects throughout the year as well as the profit he makes for the properties he flips. He lives rent free in one of the properties he has under the company and the company pays for his utilities, car payment, and other expenses. He has money to buy a new sail boat, 2 wk trips four times this year(one of which was a trip for him and his daughter to universal studios, stayed in the park for a week and then another week in house in Florida) . We lived together for 4 years, we have been apart for 2.5 and my son is 3. He makes on an average about 65,000 a year. He has always claimed about 20,000. He has even managed to get signed up for a program so that his child care is only 30 dollars a week. His business partner has a trust fund and buys the properties with his money as "the bank" and collects 4% interest for doing so. When properties are sold they pay the debit and split the profit. The last one netting him a return of 15,000. I gathered this information to collet for CS. Most of the transactions can be found on our county auditors site. I was told to hire a forensic accountant through an attorney but I am wondering if it is just costing me money in the long run. I mean I work way to much and spend way too little time with my son as it is. He works like 15 hrs a week and plays the role of the fun dad being able to take my son to do things I can't afford or do I have time to do. I am not saying he is not a good father.. he is to my son. He is just a controller when it comes to me, even though we are not together.

And yet when you were together, you were fine with him claiming 20,000 and living on the average of 65000. Why was it good enough when you lived together for 4 years for you to be an accomplice and beneficiary of his "fraud" but now you are calling foul? The court is not going to buy your story because of that. Your hands are not clean. The Ohio courts are going to rely on his tax records. A forensic accountant is expensive but that is the only way you have a hope of Cuyahoga County believing you.


And you cannot be controlled unless you allow yourself to be.

 

[birkett1]

And yet when you were together, you were fine with him claiming 20,000 and living on the average of 65000. Why was it good enough when you lived together for 4 years for you to be an accomplice and beneficiary of his "fraud" but now you are calling foul? The court is not going to buy your story because of that. Your hands are not clean. The Ohio courts are going to rely on his tax records. A forensic accountant is expensive but that is the only way you have a hope of Cuyahoga County believing you.


And you cannot be controlled unless you allow yourself to be.

First off, The company was started 8 months before we split up. Second off, part of the reason we are not together is because I was not comfortable with how he and his partner were dealing with the business and wanted no part of their fraud. I have a degree that I paid a lot of my own money to get and was not going to risk my hard earned money on tax fraud etc. When it started off he brought no money in for the first 6 mos which again became an issue. I read all the paper work he and his partner signed and know better than to try to defraud the state or the government. With that being said his business partner is a trust fund kid who has a financial arsenal of over $750,000. I make $45,000 a year now. When we split I was still in school and was working part time. He is never been afraid to tell me what he makes and what he does. He does not feel that I have the financial resources to prove it. I pay rent, my sons medical, my student loans, and other expenses that go along with being a single mother. I received a copy of his previous taxes when we went to court. Since they were his and done by an accountant I had not seen them until then. When giving advice to me or anyone else, it may be better to ask questions before assuming something. I appreciate your advice, but don't pass judgement before hearing the full story. The establishment of the business is public record. The property they own and when it was acquired is public record. The sales of that property and the amount it was purchased for is public record. All factual. All of which you are free too ask for the proof of I can give you the links to the sights and you can see for yourself.

 

[birkett1]

And yet when you were together, you were fine with him claiming 20,000 and living on the average of 65000. Why was it good enough when you lived together for 4 years for you to be an accomplice and beneficiary of his "fraud" but now you are calling foul? The court is not going to buy your story because of that. Your hands are not clean. The Ohio courts are going to rely on his tax records. A forensic accountant is expensive but that is the only way you have a hope of Cuyahoga County believing you.


And you cannot be controlled unless you allow yourself to be.

And as far as the control. When we went to court I was still in school and had very little money. He had an attorney that bills for just under 400 an hour paid for by his business partner with a treats of trying to take my son. I went to legal aid and they told me that they were only taking cases for those who were in domestic violence situations. I was afraid and that point he knew that losing my son would kill me. I was not suppose to be able to have him. I lost a son at 22 wks, had a miscarriage a year prior and luckily found a doctor who said that it could happen, we just needed to take precautions. 9 months on bed rest, still in school, and I made it. He is my world and I was not going to risk losing him.

 

[Zigner]

...with a treats of trying to take my son.

You do mean that he was saying that he was going to try for custody of your mutual son, right?

 

[Silverplum]

And as far as the control. When we went to court I was still in school and had very little money. He had an attorney that bills for just under 400 an hour paid for by his business partner with a treats of trying to take my son. I went to legal aid and they told me that they were only taking cases for those who were in domestic violence situations. I was afraid and that point he knew that losing my son would kill me. I was not suppose to be able to have him. I lost a son at 22 wks, had a miscarriage a year prior and luckily found a doctor who said that it could happen, we just needed to take precautions. 9 months on bed rest, still in school, and I made it. He is my world and I was not going to risk losing him.

Who paid your rent/food/tuition/books/etc while you spent 9 months on bed rest?

(Oh.)