What is the name of your state? Alabama
First of all, I would like to say I am from a small town in Alabama where the "good ol' boys" rule. I went through a nasty divorce almost 6 years ago after being married to a man for 12 years. I was 15 years old when I married him. Very dumb mistake that I would never repeat, nor let my own daughters do. When ex and I first seperated he filed for divorce awarding me custody of our two daughters; then before it became final he got mad because I started dating and contested the divorce that "HE" filed for. After my ex and I had been separated for 8 months I met my now husband. We moved in together while I was in the process of waiting for the divorce hearing. I was trying to move away from my ex to be so we moved about 100 miles from him. While we were separated my ex constantly badgered me, flattened at least 10 tires on my car, took parts off of my car while I worked at a daycare and had witnesses see him do it. He busted my water lines at my home, and even cut my phone lines. Every time I called the police I got a runaround because he worked for the city and his step mother works for the police dept. He even went to school with the mayor of the town. Nothing was ever done about anything I reported. When I went to court to get our divorce, custody of my 2 daughters was given to him because the judge said I was "sinning" for living with my fiancee'. I was working at minimum wage and not even getting forty hours a week at the time. I was ordered to help pay off a loan ex and I had taken out to pay off our credit card debt and told to pay child support for our daughters. I never signed any paper work after we got divorced for a program to be run to determine the child support amount. All I know is that it is around $250.00 a month; according to the lawyer. I was never able to afford to pay any of my support because I had to pay off that stupid loan every month. I get my daughters every single chance that i can and never miss my visitations. They are with me all summer long; except exs weekends, and all of the school breaks. I help buy their school clothes, supplies and anything else that I can. My support is about $14,000 in the red. My ex has remarried also and now refuses to buy my daughters school clothes at all. I am not too keen on his wife but am nice to her and him both for my daughters sake. My daughters want to live with me but my ex refuses to let them. when we were divorced we were originally supposed to each claim one daughter a piece at the end of the year for tax purposes. He claims them both since I havent been able to pay support. I have no problem with that but do any of you know if I were to be able to pay up my support if that amount of credit could be applied towards my back support? I desperately want my daughters with me. They dont even have their own room at his house. he has a small 3 bedroom single wide trailer that him, his wife, her two teeneage boys,17 and 16 and my two daughters 15 and 10 all live in. My daughters cry to live with me and he says he knows what is best for them. I have called a lawyer but they say i can not take him back to court as long as I owe back support. Even though my oldest is 15 and old enough to make her choice to where she lives. I have a 3 month old son and am now a stay at home mom while my husband works. But we still dont have enough income to catch that kind of back support up. We dont get any money back for taxes, we end up breaking even or paying since we have no dependants til now. Can someone please give me some advice? I have even told my ex he could STILL claim both of the girls on taxes and not pay a dime to me in support but he refuses, saying he knows what is best for my girls. I still to this day can not see how a judge can say I am sinning and give my daughters to him. i have never did any kind of drugs, smoked or even drank. And I now found out over the weekend that my oldest daughter was sexually molested by a cousin whos house she had to go to after school everyday. I knew the cousin had made a "pass" at her but that is all I ever knew until this weekend when my daughter broke down and told me everything. It happened almost 2 years ago though. At the time when i heard he had made a pass at her I told ex he needed to get our daughters out of there and not take them back. He refused until after school year was over and then finally didnt make them go back there. And now I also found out that exs oldest stepson has made a pass at my daughter!! She is scared to be alone with him. I bought her a cell phone for x-mas so she could call me at any time and ex took it away and said she was not allowed to have it at his house because he didnt feel she was old enough to have it; even though we are paying for it. We disconnected our land line and only have cell phones so that was my life line to my girls unless I want to run my cell bill through the roof since it was free IN calling. I tried to talk rationally to ex this past weekend about letting her keep the phone and only use it to call me but he refused to even let her have it in the house. My daughters step mom is extremely jealous of my relationship with my daughters because I am close to them and the entire time I was on the phone with ex I could hear her in the background hollering at him; telling him what to say to me. I called a lawyer today but she was out sick and dont know if she will be back tomorrow. I am going crazy with worry here over my daughters and have been considering going to the police about the incidents with my daughter. oh, and another thing, my youngest dd was touched inappropriately at school by a substitute teacher a few months ago and ex has now got a lawsuit going for that but told my daughter to not tell me or they would take me to court for back support. And the kicker of it is i have something to do with my kids all of the time and exs wifes ex husband owes back support and nothing is ever even said about him and he has nothing to do with their boys. My daughter has also told me that her father buys his stepkids cigarettes and has allowed them alcohol at his house. Isnt that endangerment to my kids to be left in a situation like this? Someone please give me some advice here. I know I should have paid support but I did the best I could by buying them clothes they needed and supplies for school..etc. I do love my girls and want them back with me more than anything.
First of all, I would like to say I am from a small town in Alabama where the "good ol' boys" rule. I went through a nasty divorce almost 6 years ago after being married to a man for 12 years. I was 15 years old when I married him. Very dumb mistake that I would never repeat, nor let my own daughters do. When ex and I first seperated he filed for divorce awarding me custody of our two daughters; then before it became final he got mad because I started dating and contested the divorce that "HE" filed for. After my ex and I had been separated for 8 months I met my now husband. We moved in together while I was in the process of waiting for the divorce hearing. I was trying to move away from my ex to be so we moved about 100 miles from him. While we were separated my ex constantly badgered me, flattened at least 10 tires on my car, took parts off of my car while I worked at a daycare and had witnesses see him do it. He busted my water lines at my home, and even cut my phone lines. Every time I called the police I got a runaround because he worked for the city and his step mother works for the police dept. He even went to school with the mayor of the town. Nothing was ever done about anything I reported. When I went to court to get our divorce, custody of my 2 daughters was given to him because the judge said I was "sinning" for living with my fiancee'. I was working at minimum wage and not even getting forty hours a week at the time. I was ordered to help pay off a loan ex and I had taken out to pay off our credit card debt and told to pay child support for our daughters. I never signed any paper work after we got divorced for a program to be run to determine the child support amount. All I know is that it is around $250.00 a month; according to the lawyer. I was never able to afford to pay any of my support because I had to pay off that stupid loan every month. I get my daughters every single chance that i can and never miss my visitations. They are with me all summer long; except exs weekends, and all of the school breaks. I help buy their school clothes, supplies and anything else that I can. My support is about $14,000 in the red. My ex has remarried also and now refuses to buy my daughters school clothes at all. I am not too keen on his wife but am nice to her and him both for my daughters sake. My daughters want to live with me but my ex refuses to let them. when we were divorced we were originally supposed to each claim one daughter a piece at the end of the year for tax purposes. He claims them both since I havent been able to pay support. I have no problem with that but do any of you know if I were to be able to pay up my support if that amount of credit could be applied towards my back support? I desperately want my daughters with me. They dont even have their own room at his house. he has a small 3 bedroom single wide trailer that him, his wife, her two teeneage boys,17 and 16 and my two daughters 15 and 10 all live in. My daughters cry to live with me and he says he knows what is best for them. I have called a lawyer but they say i can not take him back to court as long as I owe back support. Even though my oldest is 15 and old enough to make her choice to where she lives. I have a 3 month old son and am now a stay at home mom while my husband works. But we still dont have enough income to catch that kind of back support up. We dont get any money back for taxes, we end up breaking even or paying since we have no dependants til now. Can someone please give me some advice? I have even told my ex he could STILL claim both of the girls on taxes and not pay a dime to me in support but he refuses, saying he knows what is best for my girls. I still to this day can not see how a judge can say I am sinning and give my daughters to him. i have never did any kind of drugs, smoked or even drank. And I now found out over the weekend that my oldest daughter was sexually molested by a cousin whos house she had to go to after school everyday. I knew the cousin had made a "pass" at her but that is all I ever knew until this weekend when my daughter broke down and told me everything. It happened almost 2 years ago though. At the time when i heard he had made a pass at her I told ex he needed to get our daughters out of there and not take them back. He refused until after school year was over and then finally didnt make them go back there. And now I also found out that exs oldest stepson has made a pass at my daughter!! She is scared to be alone with him. I bought her a cell phone for x-mas so she could call me at any time and ex took it away and said she was not allowed to have it at his house because he didnt feel she was old enough to have it; even though we are paying for it. We disconnected our land line and only have cell phones so that was my life line to my girls unless I want to run my cell bill through the roof since it was free IN calling. I tried to talk rationally to ex this past weekend about letting her keep the phone and only use it to call me but he refused to even let her have it in the house. My daughters step mom is extremely jealous of my relationship with my daughters because I am close to them and the entire time I was on the phone with ex I could hear her in the background hollering at him; telling him what to say to me. I called a lawyer today but she was out sick and dont know if she will be back tomorrow. I am going crazy with worry here over my daughters and have been considering going to the police about the incidents with my daughter. oh, and another thing, my youngest dd was touched inappropriately at school by a substitute teacher a few months ago and ex has now got a lawsuit going for that but told my daughter to not tell me or they would take me to court for back support. And the kicker of it is i have something to do with my kids all of the time and exs wifes ex husband owes back support and nothing is ever even said about him and he has nothing to do with their boys. My daughter has also told me that her father buys his stepkids cigarettes and has allowed them alcohol at his house. Isnt that endangerment to my kids to be left in a situation like this? Someone please give me some advice here. I know I should have paid support but I did the best I could by buying them clothes they needed and supplies for school..etc. I do love my girls and want them back with me more than anything.
First of all, let me say Oh my lord! What a mess... Ok let's just START with the "inappropriate" behavior of the boys to your daughter. If your child is in an environment where she is being "hurt" in any way... not only do you have a right, but you have a responsibility to make an "authority" aware of this problem. I would start with Child Protective Services. They wont care if you owe the state 5 million dollars in arrearage, their main concern is your child. File with them and tell them what is going on. You can take your child to the local hospital and tell them that you belive she has been molested and they will do a series of testing if she has been raped, and they will automatically file the necessary paperwork with you. Of course you face all of the minors in that house being removed into temporary placement with foster families, but I think that is a small price to pay for the sanity and safety of your children.