What is the name of your state? NY
I have an 18 year old son. He has lived with me since 2004. I filed a OTSC in Supreme Court for sole/residential custody back in 2004. It was denied but my son would not return to his fathers residence. In 2005 I then filed a petition in Family Court for custody again. It was dismissed (lack of change of circumstance - the child lived with me when the SC granted the father custody and nothing has changed). I still do not understand how someone is legally granted residential custody but the child does not have to reside with them. I appealed and it is still waiting to be decided.
Meanwhile, the father receives the benefit of $70/wk in CS from me (he reduces his amount of CS to me for our other son by the amount I owe him). I have petitioned Family Court twice to terminate my CS and both times it has been dismissed (both times due to lack of change of circumstance, again, because the child lived with me when the CS was ordered). The most recent time it was dismissed WITH prejudice.
When it's dismissed WITH prejudice, what exactly does that mean? I cannot petition the court again for termination of CS for ANY reasons? Suppose the Appellate Division reverses the decision (highly unlikely though). Or are there NO exceptions - I am just thrown out regardless of anything?
I have one week left to file an objection to the Hearing Examiner's decision (it will then be reviewed by a Family Court Judge). I'm at a loss as to how to proceed. My EH is represented by an aty and I am Pro Se. I tried researching and everything is so confusing to me so I turned here.
I apparently botched the whole thing. I was also petitioning for $1800 in back support he owes me from three years ago and because I didn't state "how he hasn't paid me" and "how much he hasn't paid me" I didn't meet the burden of proof. Even though EH admitted, his aty admitted and the Hearing Examiner said to me "they are not disputing the $1800 he owes you". It was dismissed regardless. Things that seem so simple to me are twisted and then make no sense but are acceptable in court.
My EH makes good money, he doesn't need the child support. He hasn't seen or spoke to either of our children in months. Our children haven't even stepped foot inside his home in two years. My husband picked up a second job and my mother buys the extra things the kids need. I asked my EH at the trial what he was using the child support for when our children haven't even visited his home in two years and he hasn't even talked to our son in months - he said to maintain the home in case he (our son) comes back someday - and that is an acceptable reason to receive child support? Just in case he actually has a child living with him? He has a drinking and drug problem, he works for General Motors and is on Voluntary Layoff making $800 a week. He usually makes around $85k (when working). I receive $53/wk in child support (and have our two children from the marriage living with me).
Meanwhile, our family of five made $18k last year. We filed bankruptcy and still can't make ends meet. Myself, my husband and our baby receive medicaid. The baby gets WIC and the whole family receives the benefit of food stamps. The children receive free lunches at school. The difference in the $70/wk he's receives the benefit for from me would make all the difference in the world to us. We would not need social services. We wouldn't be eligible for Medicaid, we would get Family Health Plus and pay a small premium and we wouldn't receive WIC or FS either and I really long for the day I can rest in peace knowing I'm no longer receiving social services.
I'm tired of all the legal stuff. There is no way I could hire an attorney to represent me and I'm completely lost as to what to do. Now I ponder, do I just give up with the legal stuff and accept what I do have... the love and respect of my boys and the knowledge that they have weathered the worst storm imaginable and turned out EXCEPTIONALLY well (they both are honor roll students - since leaving dads - and the teachers and administrators all comment on how respectful, polite and intelligent they are). I just dread knowing that the next three years the father will receive $70/wk and will never spend a penny of it on our children. It makes me sick.
Thank you. I'm sorry that was so long.
I have an 18 year old son. He has lived with me since 2004. I filed a OTSC in Supreme Court for sole/residential custody back in 2004. It was denied but my son would not return to his fathers residence. In 2005 I then filed a petition in Family Court for custody again. It was dismissed (lack of change of circumstance - the child lived with me when the SC granted the father custody and nothing has changed). I still do not understand how someone is legally granted residential custody but the child does not have to reside with them. I appealed and it is still waiting to be decided.
Meanwhile, the father receives the benefit of $70/wk in CS from me (he reduces his amount of CS to me for our other son by the amount I owe him). I have petitioned Family Court twice to terminate my CS and both times it has been dismissed (both times due to lack of change of circumstance, again, because the child lived with me when the CS was ordered). The most recent time it was dismissed WITH prejudice.
When it's dismissed WITH prejudice, what exactly does that mean? I cannot petition the court again for termination of CS for ANY reasons? Suppose the Appellate Division reverses the decision (highly unlikely though). Or are there NO exceptions - I am just thrown out regardless of anything?
I have one week left to file an objection to the Hearing Examiner's decision (it will then be reviewed by a Family Court Judge). I'm at a loss as to how to proceed. My EH is represented by an aty and I am Pro Se. I tried researching and everything is so confusing to me so I turned here.
I apparently botched the whole thing. I was also petitioning for $1800 in back support he owes me from three years ago and because I didn't state "how he hasn't paid me" and "how much he hasn't paid me" I didn't meet the burden of proof. Even though EH admitted, his aty admitted and the Hearing Examiner said to me "they are not disputing the $1800 he owes you". It was dismissed regardless. Things that seem so simple to me are twisted and then make no sense but are acceptable in court.
My EH makes good money, he doesn't need the child support. He hasn't seen or spoke to either of our children in months. Our children haven't even stepped foot inside his home in two years. My husband picked up a second job and my mother buys the extra things the kids need. I asked my EH at the trial what he was using the child support for when our children haven't even visited his home in two years and he hasn't even talked to our son in months - he said to maintain the home in case he (our son) comes back someday - and that is an acceptable reason to receive child support? Just in case he actually has a child living with him? He has a drinking and drug problem, he works for General Motors and is on Voluntary Layoff making $800 a week. He usually makes around $85k (when working). I receive $53/wk in child support (and have our two children from the marriage living with me).
Meanwhile, our family of five made $18k last year. We filed bankruptcy and still can't make ends meet. Myself, my husband and our baby receive medicaid. The baby gets WIC and the whole family receives the benefit of food stamps. The children receive free lunches at school. The difference in the $70/wk he's receives the benefit for from me would make all the difference in the world to us. We would not need social services. We wouldn't be eligible for Medicaid, we would get Family Health Plus and pay a small premium and we wouldn't receive WIC or FS either and I really long for the day I can rest in peace knowing I'm no longer receiving social services.
I'm tired of all the legal stuff. There is no way I could hire an attorney to represent me and I'm completely lost as to what to do. Now I ponder, do I just give up with the legal stuff and accept what I do have... the love and respect of my boys and the knowledge that they have weathered the worst storm imaginable and turned out EXCEPTIONALLY well (they both are honor roll students - since leaving dads - and the teachers and administrators all comment on how respectful, polite and intelligent they are). I just dread knowing that the next three years the father will receive $70/wk and will never spend a penny of it on our children. It makes me sick.
Thank you. I'm sorry that was so long.