What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia.
I have 22 months of child support left to pay and have never been late for 13 years. The support payments have always been very high (about 3 times the state requirement, we settled out of court, I essentially bribed her to have more time with my daughter) and currently equals nearly 35% of my net income, when you add the fact that I am also responsible for health insurance and costs it comes to nearly 50%. I have about $1,700 a month to live on and am in a very expensive area, this has been quite difficult.
We have joint legal custody, she has physical custody.
I was informed a few days ago by my ex that she will not pay a dime towards college or anything else for our daughter (she was witness to this) once she reaches the age of 18. The day after this she told her mother the exact opposite (her mother is wealthy and giving her money), that in fact I was the one who refused to pay anything for college. You can see what is going on here.
Public university here is expensive, costs including room and board are around $22,000 and this would be about 66% of my net income. It would almost ruin me financially.
1. How can I force the situation in a manner such that I have written confirmation of her intent not to pay anything for college? She is crafty and knows that anything said verbally can be retracted. Could I bring it up through a financial aid application?
2. Assuming that I could achieve the first objective (or not) would I have a leg to stand on by going to court and asking either to have my support reduced or have 50% of it set aside for college. My ex is heavily in debt and clearly on the brink of bankruptcy, she is in no position to help in any substantive way with college at the moment.
I am pretty sure there is not much I can do other than throw myself upon the mercy of the court. Given that my ex can change her story quite readily even this prospect seems dim. I am greatly saddened by this turn of events and think this illustrates perfectly why a custody system based on winners and losers is so destructive to the children involved. Those who receive money become dependent, those who pay struggle for years. The parent who has no other motivation than money then abandons the child when the ATM machine shuts down at age 18. So sad.