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Do I have to sign the abatement?

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tandkchoate

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?
Hi -- I live in Missouri -- beginning three years ago, my ex and I had a modification and several changes were made-- one of the changes included that after my ex completed full usage of his 6 weeks of summer visitation, I would sign an abatement form (satisfaction of judgement) allowing him to skip one month of child support for that year -- the first two years, I signed it-- he skipped the month of support. The problem that I am having is that this year I also signed one and I mailed it like I always do-- but apparently they never received it-- the problem is that they are now demanding that I sign another one, and he has contacted child support enforcement and they sent me a letter stating the I need to sign one and return it to them.

I am not against him getting his abatement if he fulfills his obligations, but the issues that I am having are:
1) he is currently three years behind in reimbursing me for half of our son's unpaid medical bills (I carry his insurance at my request, because they never had consistent coverage, and I pay all the bills upfront because most places require it, and he has actually never paid me in full EVER, but for the last three years that I have carried the insurance, I am insisting that he pay me, because I am bearing all the financial burden) I have sent him numerous copies of EOBs and receipts-- he lied to his attorney and told him that he never received anything and what he did receive was a piece of paper off of my home computer (so after speaking with his attorney and multiple letters, I sent copies of all the letters, all the receipts and all the EOBs to his attorney-- at his attorney's request, because when I told him I had sent him all the information numerous times, he said he was not aware of that, and if I would send him copies, he would be able to counsel him appropriately when and if the issue was brought up again-- his attorney had told him he didn't have to pay, becuase he did not tell his attorney the whole story)

2) during the period of time that he is supposed to have our son for summer visitation (6 weeks)-- 4 of those weeks, they dropped him off to me Monday through Friday at 7am and he was with me and my family until 6pm every night -- we paid for all of his summer activities, all of his transportation to and from the activities, his food, we did all of his laundry, did all of his homeschooling(he was behind in math), took him to his dr. appts, and kept him late when they were unable to get there to pick him up. During those 4 weeks, we also had him overnight every Wednesday night and Friday, Saturday, Sunday of the two weekends (they would drop him off on Friday at 7am and would not see or hear from them until Sunday at 7pm and then they dropped him off again at 7am Monday-- during the times he WAS there, he was with his stepmother or a sitter (his stepmother bowls during the week and plays bingo) because his father was on call-- the only time he actually had any time with his father was on the two weekends he was there out of the 4 weeks.


My question would be (after all the rambling, sorry) I understand that I am in contempt of court if he had used all his summer vacation and I was just being a pain in the butt-- but does is make any difference that he was NOT with is father and his father did not execute full usage of his summer visitation (that is how it is worded)-- and the fact that if I agree to sign something allowing him to NOT pay me child support, isn't that in essence saying that I agree that he owes me nothing and that all is peachy keen??

I mean, what kind of idiot signs a paper (I know, I've already done it, but they lost it, and I'm wondering if I should be an idiot and sign it again) saying it's okay to skip a month of child support when the child wasn't there for the full visitation and he owes you for 3 years worth of medical bills?

Do I have to sign it and let him skip and then file a contempt claim against him?
Can I file a small claims against him for the medical bills? (They've already been paid by me, so no one is owed any money except ME)

I don't want to be stupid and just blindly sign it if I have the option, since he didn't use his full visitation and I had responsibility for our son all summer (which I am not complaining that he was with me, I love him and would rather he be with me than some strange sitter all day) and we took care of all the financial responsibility of caring for him all summer-- and the fact that he refuses to pay the bills he owes-- ???

I don't want friction and a court fight-- I just want him to leave me alone and pay what he owes-- I've never asked for anything from him, we pay for everything for my son-- and we do it gladly, but c'mon-- the judge has ordered him to counseling TWICE now, and he took me to court again this Christmas to prevent me from moving and the judge ruled against him, so now he is refusing to bring our son to any of his activities (sports, school related) and says that if I go to get him and take him to those activities, that I must COMPENSATE him for that time that our son is gone to his activities?? and NOW it's child support enforcement-- (by the way he is court ordered to pay his child support TO the courts because he refused to pay child support for over a year, and I asked for that modification) --
 
Last edited:


Gracie3787

Senior Member
tandkchoate said:
What is the name of your state?
Hi -- I live in Missouri -- beginning three years ago, my ex and I had a modification and several changes were made-- one of the changes included that after my ex completed full usage of his 6 weeks of summer visitation, I would sign an abatement form (satisfaction of judgement) allowing him to skip one month of child support for that year -- the first two years, I signed it-- he skipped the month of support. The problem that I am having is that this year I also signed one and I mailed it like I always do-- but apparently they never received it-- the problem is that they are now demanding that I sign another one, and he has contacted child support enforcement and they sent me a letter stating the I need to sign one and return it to them.

I am not against him getting his abatement if he fulfills his obligations, but the issues that I am having are:
1) he is currently three years behind in reimbursing me for half of our son's unpaid medical bills (I carry his insurance at my request, because they never had consistent coverage, and I pay all the bills upfront because most places require it, and he has actually never paid me in full EVER, but for the last three years that I have carried the insurance, I am insisting that he pay me, because I am bearing all the financial burden) I have sent him numerous copies of EOBs and receipts-- he lied to his attorney and told him that he never received anything and what he did receive was a piece of paper off of my home computer (so after speaking with his attorney and multiple letters, I sent copies of all the letters, all the receipts and all the EOBs to his attorney-- at his attorney's request, because when I told him I had sent him all the information numerous times, he said he was not aware of that, and if I would send him copies, he would be able to counsel him appropriately when and if the issue was brought up again-- his attorney had told him he didn't have to pay, becuase he did not tell his attorney the whole story)

2) during the period of time that he is supposed to have our son for summer visitation (6 weeks)-- 4 of those weeks, they dropped him off to me Monday through Friday at 7am and he was with me and my family until 6pm every night -- we paid for all of his summer activities, all of his transportation to and from the activities, his food, we did all of his laundry, did all of his homeschooling(he was behind in math), took him to his dr. appts, and kept him late when they were unable to get there to pick him up. During those 4 weeks, we also had him overnight every Wednesday night and Friday, Saturday, Sunday of the two weekends (they would drop him off on Friday at 7am and would not see or hear from them until Sunday at 7pm and then they dropped him off again at 7am Monday-- during the times he WAS there, he was with his stepmother or a sitter (his stepmother bowls during the week and plays bingo) because his father was on call-- the only time he actually had any time with his father was on the two weekends he was there out of the 4 weeks.


My question would be (after all the rambling, sorry) I understand that I am in contempt of court if he had used all his summer vacation and I was just being a pain in the butt-- but does is make any difference that he was NOT with is father and his father did not execute full usage of his summer visitation (that is how it is worded)-- and the fact that if I agree to sign something allowing him to NOT pay me child support, isn't that in essence saying that I agree that he owes me nothing and that all is peachy keen??

I mean, what kind of idiot signs a paper (I know, I've already done it, but they lost it, and I'm wondering if I should be an idiot and sign it again) saying it's okay to skip a month of child support when the child wasn't there for the full visitation and he owes you for 3 years worth of medical bills?

Do I have to sign it and let him skip and then file a contempt claim against him?
Can I file a small claims against him for the medical bills? (They've already been paid by me, so no one is owed any money except ME)

I don't want to be stupid and just blindly sign it if I have the option, since he didn't use his full visitation and I had responsibility for our son all summer (which I am not complaining that he was with me, I love him and would rather he be with me than some strange sitter all day) and we took care of all the financial responsibility of caring for him all summer-- and the fact that he refuses to pay the bills he owes-- ???

I don't want friction and a court fight-- I just want him to leave me alone and pay what he owes-- I've never asked for anything from him, we pay for everything for my son-- and we do it gladly, but c'mon-- the judge has ordered him to counseling TWICE now, and he took me to court again this Christmas to prevent me from moving and the judge ruled against him, so now he is refusing to bring our son to any of his activities (sports, school related) and says that if I go to get him and take him to those activities, that I must COMPENSATE him for that time that our son is gone to his activities?? and NOW it's child support enforcement-- (by the way he is court ordered to pay his child support TO the courts because he refused to pay child support for over a year, and I asked for that modification) --
Yes, you have to sign another paper for this year because the court order requires you to.

However, you have the right to file to modify the order under the circumstances you describe. It's too late to change it for this summer, but you need to file ASAP so that evrything will be done long before the next summer.
 

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