Do I have to tell her my income?

[jeffmcd]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

Both my ex-wife and I are doctors. (I'm in anesthesia and she's in family medicine.) We have two children. We have a temporary custody order where we currently have joint legal and joint physical custody of the kids- 1/2 time with me, 1/2 with wife. And we are about to settle our custody issue. One thing she has brought up recently is that she wants in the custody order is that, if one of us changes jobs, then that parent has 30 days to tell the other parent that he's changing jobs and that the new job's income is _________.

I will always make more money than my ex-wife, just by virtue of our specialties in medicine. My attorney says the reason my ex-wife wants this in the custody order is because she wants to know when I make substantial money and then take me to court as soon as possible.

Regardless, what I'd like to know is this: is what my ex-wife asking for (eg, a clause that makes each parent responsible to tell the other side of job changes and job incomes) reasonable? I'm ready to settle this if it's reasonable. (I do have an attorney but here she said she doesn't have any advice.)

Thanks, anything would be helpful.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

although she can ask for anything to be put in the order that she wants, whether or not you agree is a personal decision.

As for advice, I would hesitate to put anything in the order which may invalidate the order on the basis of it being against public policy.

In other words, when the state, through statutes, requires one thing and two people agree to another, any agreement made in opposition to state-mandated orders is void.

In Maryland, if one parent's income has changed (either gone up or down) by at least 25%, this is considered a big enough change to require a change in the support order. You can request a modification for a lesser change in income, but will not necessarily be guaranteed a change in the support order.

So, my advice, tell her no unless she wants to notify you before she has sex with anyone so that you can take videos.

The COURT will decide when a modification is in order.

 

[BiggusJerkus]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

Both my ex-wife and I are doctors. (I'm in anesthesia and she's in family medicine.) We have two children. We have a temporary custody order where we currently have joint legal and joint physical custody of the kids- 1/2 time with me, 1/2 with wife. And we are about to settle our custody issue. One thing she has brought up recently is that she wants in the custody order is that, if one of us changes jobs, then that parent has 30 days to tell the other parent that he's changing jobs and that the new job's income is _________.

I will always make more money than my ex-wife, just by virtue of our specialties in medicine. My attorney says the reason my ex-wife wants this in the custody order is because she wants to know when I make substantial money and then take me to court as soon as possible.

Regardless, what I'd like to know is this: is what my ex-wife asking for (eg, a clause that makes each parent responsible to tell the other side of job changes and job incomes) reasonable? I'm ready to settle this if it's reasonable. (I do have an attorney but here she said she doesn't have any advice.)

Thanks, anything would be helpful.

I would NOT agree to that stipulation. Your attorney pretty much nailed the reason she wants it in there.

 

[Ohiogal]

I wouldn't agree to it but be forewarned if you change jobs and you are PAYING child support, you may have to inform CSEA of what the new job is and your income. And then if you are earning substantially more, CSEA will do a modification automatically. No court necessary. (In Ohio, you have to keep CSEA informed of such things.)

 

[LdiJ]

Some state statutes/guidelines do require the parents to inform each other of income changes. Its not unheard of for a judge to order that even if the state statutes or guidelines don't require it.

Personally....based on your respective careers I would probably agree to that myself. You have true joint custody and careers that are going to provide both of you with decent livings.....child support isn't going to be a serious issue for either of you.

 

[BiggusJerkus]

Personally....based on your respective careers I would probably agree to that myself. You have true joint custody and careers that are going to provide both of you with decent livings.....child support isn't going to be a serious issue for either of you.

You're right on the last part, but let's be honest...looking at provision the OP's ex wants in the order...anyone who puts language like that in the order is being nosey -- plain and simple -- and is looking for a way to file for an immediate modification (as it sounds like a CSEA isn't involved at this point, therefore taking the administrative statutes/aspect out of the picture regarding modification provisions).

 

[jeffmcd]

Thanks everyone. Your advice has been extremely helpful. My ex-wife now proposes that WITHIN 30 days of changing jobs, we have to tell each other our employers name and income. What do you guys think? It seems reasonable to me. My attorney said it's up to me.

Thanks again. Any advice would be helpful. Hopefully, I can settle this within a day or so.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Thanks everyone. Your advice has been extremely helpful. My ex-wife now proposes that WITHIN 30 days of changing jobs, we have to tell each other our employers name and income. What do you guys think? It seems reasonable to me. My attorney said it's up to me.

Thanks again. Any advice would be helpful. Hopefully, I can settle this within a day or so.

It's up to you. Simply put, this is a negotiation. Either come back with a counteroffer or not.

Surely, there is something you want in the order that she doesn't. Or simply tell her you have no problem with divulging the name of the employer, but will not, unless specifically ordered to by the court, reveal your salary.

 

[BiggusJerkus]

Thanks everyone. Your advice has been extremely helpful. My ex-wife now proposes that WITHIN 30 days of changing jobs, we have to tell each other our employers name and income. What do you guys think? It seems reasonable to me. My attorney said it's up to me.

You should ask your ex why she's so hell-bent on this (although the real reason is obvious). Is child support being paid through a CSEA or is it addressed otherwise in your order.

Perhaps you should talk to your attorney about putting language in the order regarding child support modifications per state statutes. Therefore, if any of you change jobs and earn more money/increased insurance costs, etc. per statue(s), then the one affected would be required to take the appropriate action.