Ending Child support questions??

[Irishluck628]

My 2 daughters are 18 & almost 17, we live in Nebraska. Their father has been an up and down rollercoaster to them their entire life (Not getting into this here)
But for the past year he has generally left them alone. At the start of this year, he married someone and had a baby (Not with the same woman) So his time has been pretty preoccupied.
He contacted me yesterday about ending his child support obligation and arrears. If I don't, he's going to reinstate his visitation. I understand that visitation and child support are 2 totally different things, and do not go hand in hand. But if this is what it takes for him to leave them alone, I'll do it. My biggest issue with this is his wording...
"The girls don't want anything to do with me and I don't want anything to do with them. I shouldn't have to pay for them. Otherwise I'm going to make them start coming here again. I just want whats just. You will probably have to write off the past and future child support like I paid cash to you. I can figure this out for you if you want"
I see this blowing up in my face! Just wondering if someone else has went through this and what steps to take or papers to sign?
Thank you for your time!

 

[Just Blue]

My 2 daughters are 18 & almost 17, we live in Nebraska. Their father has been an up and down rollercoaster to them their entire life (Not getting into this here)
But for the past year he has generally left them alone. At the start of this year, he married someone and had a baby (Not with the same woman) So his time has been pretty preoccupied.
He contacted me yesterday about ending his child support obligation and arrears. If I don't, he's going to reinstate his visitation. I understand that visitation and child support are 2 totally different things, and do not go hand in hand. But if this is what it takes for him to leave them alone, I'll do it. My biggest issue with this is his wording...
"The girls don't want anything to do with me and I don't want anything to do with them. I shouldn't have to pay for them. Otherwise I'm going to make them start coming here again. I just want whats just. You will probably have to write off the past and future child support like I paid cash to you. I can figure this out for you if you want"
I see this blowing up in my face! Just wondering if someone else has went through this and what steps to take or papers to sign?
Thank you for your time!

Px Hx\
********************************************************.

 

[Irishluck628]

Px Hx\
********************************************************.

What does Px Hx/ mean?

 

[Ohiogal]

At 18, the child cannot be forced to visit anyway. Why would you want to forgive arrears?

 

[Ohiogal]

What does Px Hx/ mean?

It means reading your other thread provides relevant background. In your case, nothing all that bad. But I do question why you would forgive his child support and arrears. Child support is NOT admission to see the child. Don't give up the child support he owes. The 18 year old cannot be forced to visit. And the almost 17 year old? You can argue visitation should be suspended until said time as a therapist decides dad should have contact. Then arrange counseling. The counselor/therapist may decide the 17 year old should NOT have contact. When does she turn 18?

 

[Zigner]

It means reading your other thread provides relevant background. In your case, nothing all that bad. But I do question why you would forgive his child support and arrears. Child support is NOT admission to see the child. Don't give up the child support he owes. The 18 year old cannot be forced to visit. And the almost 17 year old? You can argue visitation should be suspended until said time as a therapist decides dad should have contact. Then arrange counseling. The counselor/therapist may decide the 17 year old should NOT have contact. When does she turn 18?

Psstt...age of majority in NE is 19

 

[Just Blue]

Psstt...age of majority in NE is 19

Yes. OP should call the bluff.

 

[Zigner]

Yes. OP should call the bluff.

I totally agree...and I agree with OhioGal too except about the 18 year old. The dad is blowing smoke in this case.

 

[Irishluck628]

It means reading your other thread provides relevant background. In your case, nothing all that bad. But I do question why you would forgive his child support and arrears. Child support is NOT admission to see the child. Don't give up the child support he owes. The 18 year old cannot be forced to visit. And the almost 17 year old? You can argue visitation should be suspended until said time as a therapist decides dad should have contact. Then arrange counseling. The counselor/therapist may decide the 17 year old should NOT have contact. When does she turn 18?

My daughters therapist said that the girls should have very limited contact with their father until he is on a regular medication schedule and is cleared by a mental health professional.
I have this paperwork but we never went to court since he voluntarily ceased visitation. He hasn't contacted them since this past Thanksgiving.

I'm not thrilled about the idea to eliminate child support (although it comes so infrequently that it is never expected or counted on. I receive it once every year or 2, when they threaten jail or his license revoked)
And I'm sure that he is just blowing smoke. But it would be worth it to just end it and be done. But that sounds too easy...and knowing him, he's got some trick up his sleeve.

My younger daughter will be 17 in 2 months. (She is almost 17) And yep, still a minor until 19 here in NE

 

[Just Blue]

My daughters therapist said that the girls should have very limited contact with their father until he is on a regular medication schedule and is cleared by a mental health professional.
I have this paperwork but we never went to court since he voluntarily ceased visitation. He hasn't contacted them since this past Thanksgiving.

I'm not thrilled about the idea to eliminate child support (although it comes so infrequently that it is never expected or counted on. I receive it once every year or 2, when they threaten jail or his license revoked)
And I'm sure that he is just blowing smoke. But it would be worth it to just end it and be done. But that sounds too easy...and knowing him, he's got some trick up his sleeve.

My younger daughter will be 17 in 2 months. (She is almost 17) And yep, still a minor until 19 here in NE

Have you discussed this with your children? (Yes I know we are not supposed to do that...But these children are near/adults.)

 

[Irishluck628]

Yes! They do not want any contact with him at all.

 

[LdiJ]

My 2 daughters are 18 & almost 17, we live in Nebraska. Their father has been an up and down rollercoaster to them their entire life (Not getting into this here)
But for the past year he has generally left them alone. At the start of this year, he married someone and had a baby (Not with the same woman) So his time has been pretty preoccupied.
He contacted me yesterday about ending his child support obligation and arrears. If I don't, he's going to reinstate his visitation. I understand that visitation and child support are 2 totally different things, and do not go hand in hand. But if this is what it takes for him to leave them alone, I'll do it. My biggest issue with this is his wording...
"The girls don't want anything to do with me and I don't want anything to do with them. I shouldn't have to pay for them. Otherwise I'm going to make them start coming here again. I just want whats just. You will probably have to write off the past and future child support like I paid cash to you. I can figure this out for you if you want"
I see this blowing up in my face! Just wondering if someone else has went through this and what steps to take or papers to sign?
Thank you for your time!

I would be surprised if a judge would force an 18 year old to visit.

Your almost 17 year old is a different story. He could insist that she visit...however, at her age, and the fact that he has been completely awol since the beginning of the year and spotty prior to that, might cause a judge to give her some say in the type and frequency of the visitation.

If he has arrears he really shouldn't get off the hook for those either.

All I all its a personal choice, but he helped make the children and he should help support them.

 

[Irishluck628]

This is exactly why I am willing to drop all child support...
It was bad enough forcing both girls to go years ago. It will not sit well with me at all having the courts say my younger daughter will have to have visits alone with him (I guess I think Safety In Numbers)
Again I'm sure he's bluffing (he doesn't have money for an attorney) But I'm too afraid to call him out on it

 

[Proserpina]

Your child is coming up 17?

Call his bluff.

I'd never usually go here, but seriously? If she has to go and visit, she's under no obligation to actually enjoy spending time with him or to make HIS time enjoyable.

How did he let you know this, by the way? Please tell me it was email or text - I would LOVE to see a judge's reaction to that message.

 

[Proserpina]

This is exactly why I am willing to drop all child support...
It was bad enough forcing both girls to go years ago. It will not sit well with me at all having the courts say my younger daughter will have to have visits alone with him (I guess I think Safety In Numbers)
Again I'm sure he's bluffing (he doesn't have money for an attorney) But I'm too afraid to call him out on it

Send the 18 year old too. Send 'em both. I'm sure safety in numbers will very quickly translate to "Oh my God send these kids home" from his latest wife.