+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 25
  1. #1
    CaliMommy86 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    16

    Ex quit his job to evade paying child support

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

    My ex told me if I filed for child support that he would quit his job. Well he followed through with his threat, what happens now? How long can he go without paying before legal action is taken?
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    52,613
    Quote Originally Posted by CaliMommy86 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

    My ex told me if I filed for child support that he would quit his job. Well he followed through with his threat, what happens now? How long can he go without paying before legal action is taken?
    Is there a court order? How do you know he quit his job? What evidence do you have that he quit? It could take a year before the state does anything. How far behind is he?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    CaliMommy86 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    16
    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Is there a court order? How do you know he quit his job? What evidence do you have that he quit? It could take a year before the state does anything. How far behind is he?
    He is currently 2 months behind. I recently brought my daughter to visit him (he lives about 200 miles away) and during the week we were there he did not work at all. I didn't bring up his employment status or child support because we just recently came to an understanding and are starting to get along better for our daughters sake which is what I've wanted all along and have been working towards. His other child's mother contacted me to ask if I've been receiving cs payments as she hasn't received hers either. I told her that I had not and so she called his work and they told her he no longer works there.
  4. #4
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    21,315
    Quote Originally Posted by CaliMommy86 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

    My ex told me if I filed for child support that he would quit his job. Well he followed through with his threat, what happens now? How long can he go without paying before legal action is taken?
    You go ahead and get a child support order. Once that order is in place, he owes that money. If he starts missing payments, you file for contempt (I probably wouldn't file for the first missed payment, maybe the second or third).

    Or, turn it over to your state child support collection agency and let them handle it.
  5. #5
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    52,613
    Quote Originally Posted by CaliMommy86 View Post
    He is currently 2 months behind. I recently brought my daughter to visit him (he lives about 200 miles away) and during the week we were there he did not work at all. I didn't bring up his employment status or child support because we just recently came to an understanding and are starting to get along better for our daughters sake which is what I've wanted all along and have been working towards. His other child's mother contacted me to ask if I've been receiving cs payments as she hasn't received hers either. I told her that I had not and so she called his work and they told her he no longer works there.
    That doesn't mean he quit. he could have been laid off. The company could have downsized. He could have been between jobs and starting a new job next week after you left. You are making assumptions.

    You can file for contempt however if he is behind.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  6. #6
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    23,889
    Quote Originally Posted by CaliMommy86 View Post
    He is currently 2 months behind. I recently brought my daughter to visit him (he lives about 200 miles away) and during the week we were there he did not work at all. I didn't bring up his employment status or child support because we just recently came to an understanding and are starting to get along better for our daughters sake which is what I've wanted all along and have been working towards. His other child's mother contacted me to ask if I've been receiving cs payments as she hasn't received hers either. I told her that I had not and so she called his work and they told her he no longer works there.

    So? That does not equate to his quiting to evade CS payments. You should not assume the worst.
  7. #7
    Kenickie is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    49
    Quote Originally Posted by CaliMommy86 View Post
    He is currently 2 months behind. I recently brought my daughter to visit him (he lives about 200 miles away) and during the week we were there he did not work at all. I didn't bring up his employment status or child support because we just recently came to an understanding and are starting to get along better for our daughters sake which is what I've wanted all along and have been working towards. His other child's mother contacted me to ask if I've been receiving cs payments as she hasn't received hers either. I told her that I had not and so she called his work and they told her he no longer works there.
    I wonder if you've considered the possibility of mediation via the court. That is, you might be able to talk things through with a mediator... Sometimes the accountability factor of an objective third party can make someone realize that they're not acting in their or anyone else's interest. Plus you might gain some facts in mediation about what he's actually doing, which would help you prepare for any subsequent hearings on the matter.

    And, of course, you could tell him you're concerned for his well being; because by electing not to work at all (if that's what he's done), he will certainly (and rightly) end up owing child support arrears.
    Last edited by Kenickie; 06-28-2011 at 10:09 PM.
  8. #8
    Kenickie is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    49
    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    You go ahead and get a child support order. Once that order is in place, he owes that money. If he starts missing payments, you file for contempt (I probably wouldn't file for the first missed payment, maybe the second or third).

    Or, turn it over to your state child support collection agency and let them handle it.
    Actually, this is probably the best way to go (what mistoffolees said). Delaying this kind of action would only allow the situation to exist longer than necessary.

    But I would also try to extend an olive branch where you could, to find out why he felt he should quit his job. He obviously did something to himself in addition to the children, unless he's working under the table somewhere.

    Also, out of curiosity, are you working? Sometimes an obligor will hold resentment if he (or she) is the only one supporting the children financially, especially if he feels that he's supporting two housholds exclusively. This can cause him to reach a point of exasperation that would make him want to sort of eject from feeling trapped. (I'm playing devil's advocate here. These are the kinds of things that will come up in hearings, and it's probably useful to consider what happened from his perspective beforehand.)

    Plus, if you understand his perspective on the matter and try to find middle ground where you can, it will work out over the long haul. Desperate people do desperate things; and when they're desperate enough, a finger-wagging Judge Judy type at the family courthouse can toss out as many orders as she wants.
    Last edited by Kenickie; 06-28-2011 at 09:55 PM. Reason: Clarity, Grammar
  9. #9
    CaliMommy86 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    16
    Quote Originally Posted by Kenickie View Post
    Actually, this is probably the best way to go (what mistoffolees said). Delaying this kind of action would only allow the situation to exist longer than necessary.

    But I would also try to extend an olive branch where you could, to find out why he felt he should quit his job. He obviously did something to himself in addition to the children, unless he's working under the table somewhere.

    Also, out of curiosity, are you working? Sometimes an obligor will hold resentment if he (or she) is the only one supporting the children financially, especially if he feels that he's supporting two housholds exclusively. This can cause him to reach a point of exasperation that would make him want to sort of eject from feeling trapped. (I'm playing devil's advocate here. These are the kinds of things that will come up in hearings, and it's probably useful to consider what happened from his perspective beforehand.)

    Plus, if you understand his perspective on the matter and try to find middle ground where you can, it will work out over the long haul. Desperate people do desperate things; and when they're desperate enough, a finger-wagging Judge Judy type at the family courthouse can toss out as many orders as she wants.


    We already have an order of support. We went to court in late March and at the time I was not working. I started a new position shortly after our court date and called my ex to let him know id be contacting the court with my new wage information in an attempt to help him lower his payments. He made only one payment and nothing since then. His other daughters mother told me he also told her he would quit if I got an order for support so I do not doubt at all that that's what he's done.
  10. #10
    CJane is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    19,827
    WHY he isn't paying is less important than you might think. Whether he lost his job due to lay off or reduction in work force, or chose to quit his job, or got fired for insisting on bringing a monkey to work with him as an emotional service animal...

    If he's not paying, you file contempt. He can explain to the judge why he's not paying, and the judge can decide what to do about it.

    That said, I personally wouldn't file contempt until he'd gone several months (like 6+) w/out paying. But that's me.
  11. #11
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA
    Posts
    35,418
    Isn't that kind of cutting off the nose to spite the face? Isn't a paycheck with CS deducted better than NO paycheck?
  12. #12
    CJane is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    19,827
    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    Isn't that kind of cutting off the nose to spite the face? Isn't a paycheck with CS deducted better than NO paycheck?
    There are an awful lot of people who are so determined to not pay child support that they will avoid it at any cost to themselves or their future.
  13. #13
    Kenickie is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    49
    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    WHY he isn't paying is less important than you might think. Whether he lost his job due to lay off or reduction in work force, or chose to quit his job, or got fired for insisting on bringing a monkey to work with him as an emotional service animal...

    If he's not paying, you file contempt. He can explain to the judge why he's not paying, and the judge can decide what to do about it.

    That said, I personally wouldn't file contempt until he'd gone several months (like 6+) w/out paying. But that's me.
    I'd take action ASAP. Child support needs to be paid by parents. But I'd have a two-pronged approach: (1) Let the court do its job to ensure that support is garnished if/when possible; and (2) try to figure out what caused him to throw up his hands and walk away from the source of his income.

    Item (2) is not merely dealing with emotional issues. It's pragmatic, because the court can only force so much against someone who's desperate, and there may be something that the three of you (you, he, the mom of his other daughter) can talk through and work out. It's not about being Dr. Phil as much as it is looking at the big picture. The family court is not the only answer; its punitive measures are effective only to the extent that your ex doesn't feel that he'd rather just live with the punitive measures than comply.
  14. #14
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,363
    Quote Originally Posted by Kenickie View Post
    I'd take action ASAP. Child support needs to be paid by parents. But I'd have a two-pronged approach: (1) Let the court do its job to ensure that support is garnished if/when possible; and (2) try to figure out what caused him to throw up his hands and walk away from the source of his income.

    Item (2) is not merely dealing with emotional issues. It's pragmatic, because the court can only force so much against someone who's desperate, and there may be something that the three of you (you, he, the mom of his other daughter) can talk through and work out. It's not about being Dr. Phil as much as it is looking at the big picture. The family court is not the only answer; its punitive measures are effective only to the extent that your ex doesn't feel that he'd rather just live with the punitive measures than comply.
    I don't see any reason for her to do what you are suggesting. Its pretty clear what is going on. He doesn't want to pay child support to two people so badly that he is willing to tank his own finances to avoid paying. There are a LOT of people out there who are like that. Its very common and we see it all the time.
  15. #15
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    21,315
    Quote Originally Posted by Kenickie View Post
    I'd take action ASAP. Child support needs to be paid by parents. But I'd have a two-pronged approach: (1) Let the court do its job to ensure that support is garnished if/when possible; and (2) try to figure out what caused him to throw up his hands and walk away from the source of his income.

    Item (2) is not merely dealing with emotional issues. It's pragmatic, because the court can only force so much against someone who's desperate, and there may be something that the three of you (you, he, the mom of his other daughter) can talk through and work out. It's not about being Dr. Phil as much as it is looking at the big picture. The family court is not the only answer; its punitive measures are effective only to the extent that your ex doesn't feel that he'd rather just live with the punitive measures than comply.
    Sorry, but attempting to second-guess someone else's motives doesn't really help (especially when OP clearly doesn't have all the facts).

    There's a court order. If ex doesn't pay, file for contempt. Let ex explain why he doesn't want to pay.

    Granted, there's no guarantee that you'll collect, but your BEST chance of collecting is to follow through with the legal remedies available to you (or turn it all over to your state child support collection agency and let them spend the money on lawyers).

Similar Threads

  1. My sons father quit paying support and disappeared
    By rgirl123 in forum Child Support
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-22-2007, 07:16 PM
  2. Ex-husband is trying to quit paying child support
    By SingleMominNM in forum Child Support
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-28-2005, 02:04 PM
  3. When do I quit paying child support
    By love61000 in forum Child Support
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-04-2005, 03:54 AM
  4. Ex quit paying support on 18 yr old Senior
    By romandachs in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 11-30-2002, 06:07 PM
  5. husband quit job to avoid paying support
    By shay shay in forum Divorce, Separation & Annulment
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-01-2002, 11:09 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.