Ex-Wife Lying to Child Support Office

[dadof4kids]

TN
Divorce finalized February of 2013, ex-wife drug it out as long as possible to retain pendant lite order - that is a side note. CS was ordered at $1000 per month based on salary at the time (57K). Down-sized from that job in July, now making 39K and working to full potential based on education and licensure. The higher paying job was a management position. Ex-wife has TWO master's degrees and is working as an elementary teacher. Filed for a CS modification on 8/01, she failed to respond to the child support office until recently. Based on the CS calculator new support amount should be $691. A court date was set for last Monday but I was never served. The social worker at the CS office "Forgot" and is "Sorry". Greedy ex-wife "can't take off work in November" so new court date is set for 12/16. Social worker says that I can request that the modification be retro back to 9/01 (30 days after I filed for the modification). Ex-wife has an attorney (I cannot afford one). Is it possible the judge can not allow the modification? I thought in TN that whatever the CS calculator deems the appropriate amount of support, that was the number. I am remarried, but she has her own kids to take care of. Can they count her income? Ex-wife LIED to the CS office and said I quit my higher paying job, which isn't true and I have a separation agreement letter to prove it. Any thoughts?

 

[Ohiogal]

TN
Divorce finalized February of 2013, ex-wife drug it out as long as possible to retain pendant lite order - that is a side note. CS was ordered at $1000 per month based on salary at the time (57K). Down-sized from that job in July, now making 39K and working to full potential based on education and licensure. The higher paying job was a management position. Ex-wife has TWO master's degrees and is working as an elementary teacher. Filed for a CS modification on 8/01, she failed to respond to the child support office until recently. Based on the CS calculator new support amount should be $691. A court date was set for last Monday but I was never served. The social worker at the CS office "Forgot" and is "Sorry". Greedy ex-wife "can't take off work in November" so new court date is set for 12/16. Social worker says that I can request that the modification be retro back to 9/01 (30 days after I filed for the modification). Ex-wife has an attorney (I cannot afford one). Is it possible the judge can not allow the modification? I thought in TN that whatever the CS calculator deems the appropriate amount of support, that was the number. I am remarried, but she has her own kids to take care of. Can they count her income? Ex-wife LIED to the CS office and said I quit my higher paying job, which isn't true and I have a separation agreement letter to prove it. Any thoughts?

Greedy ex wife? Really? Working as a teacher may be very much in line with what your ex wife can do with her master's degrees. You need a master's degree in many many areas to be a teacher or continue as a teacher. Your wife's income doesn't count for child support however if you wanted a downward deviation it could come into play. Your child support amount seems low though for four children if you are earning 39k.

 

[mmmagique]

Where do you see the four kids? I've re-read this at least four times looking for it. (I believe it's there...but I don't see it!)

Ohhhhh....in his name!! *doh*

 

[dadof4kids]

Greedy ex wife? Really? Working as a teacher may be very much in line with what your ex wife can do with her master's degrees. You need a master's degree in many many areas to be a teacher or continue as a teacher. Your wife's income doesn't count for child support however if you wanted a downward deviation it could come into play. Your child support amount seems low though for four children if you are earning 39k.

Its a complicated story. One of the kids has a different dad, I raised her and because that child is still in the household, ex-wife gets a credit for her making my CS higher. And yes, she is GREEDY. Told the mediator she wanted a certain dollar amount per month. Will not give me one second more than the parenting plan indicates even though she verbally agreed I needed 50% of the time with the children since I was their primary are taker prior to the divorce. Yet, because she wanted $1000 per month, I only get t he standard every other weekend plus holidays 3 weeks in the summer schedule. She has an eating disorder and a shopping addiction (which she admits to). Kids never have what they need, including clean underwear. In TN TWO master's degrees are not required. She has the education to be a principal, yet she chooses not to pursue that. As a teacher, she makes more money than I do.

My concern is paying my bills so I can provide a stable, chaos free home for them when they are here. I am looking for opinions on the modification in regards to what the CS calculator deems appropriate.

 

[Ohiogal]

Its a complicated story. One of the kids has a different dad, I raised her and because that child is still in the household, ex-wife gets a credit for her making my CS higher. And yes, she is GREEDY. Told the mediator she wanted a certain dollar amount per month. Will not give me one second more than the parenting plan indicates even though she verbally agreed I needed 50% of the time with the children since I was their primary are taker prior to the divorce. Yet, because she wanted $1000 per month, I only get t he standard every other weekend plus holidays 3 weeks in the summer schedule. She has an eating disorder and a shopping addiction (which she admits to). Kids never have what they need, including clean underwear. In TN TWO master's degrees are not required. She has the education to be a principal, yet she chooses not to pursue that. As a teacher, she makes more money than I do.

My concern is paying my bills so I can provide a stable, chaos free home for them when they are here. I am looking for opinions on the modification in regards to what the CS calculator deems appropriate.

Your ex wife is entitled to a credit for her other children. You only got standard? Why didn't you go to trial? Or did you just agree? Sounds like you agreed in mediation. Therefore that is on you. And how many jobs are available for principals compared to teachers? Would you like her to move away from you in order to get a job as a principal and take the kids with her? You seem to be whining and not understanding the legal system.

 

[Ohiogal]

Where do you see the four kids? I've re-read this at least four times looking for it. (I believe it's there...but I don't see it!)

Ohhhhh....in his name!! *doh*

That is where I saw it. I went with that. But apparently he doesn't have four children. He is just an overstepping ex-stepfather when it comes to one of the kids.

 

[TheGeekess]

Its a complicated story. One of the kids has a different dad, I raised her and because that child is still in the household, ex-wife gets a credit for her making my CS higher. And yes, she is GREEDY. Told the mediator she wanted a certain dollar amount per month. Will not give me one second more than the parenting plan indicates even though she verbally agreed I needed 50% of the time with the children since I was their primary are taker prior to the divorce. Yet, because she wanted $1000 per month, I only get t he standard every other weekend plus holidays 3 weeks in the summer schedule. She has an eating disorder and a shopping addiction (which she admits to). Kids never have what they need, including clean underwear. In TN TWO master's degrees are not required. She has the education to be a principal, yet she chooses not to pursue that. As a teacher, she makes more money than I do.

My concern is paying my bills so I can provide a stable, chaos free home for them when they are here. I am looking for opinions on the modification in regards to what the CS calculator deems appropriate.

She's not obligated to give you one second more than the court order states, no matter what she might have said to you. You also say that you were the children's primary caregiver-then why did you not attempt to retain primary custody?

 

[dadof4kids]

Your ex wife is entitled to a credit for her other children. You only got standard? Why didn't you go to trial? Or did you just agree? Sounds like you agreed in mediation. Therefore that is on you. And how many jobs are available for principals compared to teachers? Would you like her to move away from you in order to get a job as a principal and take the kids with her? You seem to be whining and not understanding the legal system.

Could not afford to go to trial. In the county we live in, the judges (based on what my attorney and the mediator said) do not provide more than the standard visitation for the father. I absolutely am not whining. I am the only parent trying to take care of the needs of the children and that is harder to do when she squanders the CS on shopping and I am left to try to provide for their needs in both households. The children even recognize this, discussing the "boxes" on the doorstep everyday and the fact that she has thousands of dollars worth of clothes in her CLOSETS with tags that she never wears. And they have shoes with holes two sizes too small. I am not exaggerating. This woman has already been held in contempt in another county for "alientation of affection" with the oldest child's biological father, and admitted that she has lied for years about abuse.

As far as her job is concerned, there are many many opportunities, she chooses to cause drama in the work place and not pursue those opportunities. She likes lounging by the pool and drinking on the boat with her friends while the children are home alone.

My goal here is not to bash her, I am giving facts and looing for opinions based on the modification that I am entitled to.

 

[Zigner]

Could not afford to go to trial. In the county we live in, the judges (based on what my attorney and the mediator said) do not provide more than the standard visitation for the father. I absolutely am not whining. I am the only parent trying to take care of the needs of the children and that is harder to do when she squanders the CS on shopping and I am left to try to provide for their needs in both households. The children even recognize this, discussing the "boxes" on the doorstep everyday and the fact that she has thousands of dollars worth of clothes in her CLOSETS with tags that she never wears. And they have shoes with holes two sizes too small. I am not exaggerating. This woman has already been held in contempt in another county for "alientation of affection" with the oldest child's biological father, and admitted that she has lied for years about abuse.

As far as her job is concerned, there are many many opportunities, she chooses to cause drama in the work place and not pursue those opportunities. She likes lounging by the pool and drinking on the boat with her friends while the children are home alone.

My goal here is not to bash her, I am giving facts and looing for opinions based on the modification that I am entitled to.

You have failed at your goal.

 

[dadof4kids]

You have failed at your goal.

Is this a "dad bashing" forum? Why is it that no one wants to believe there are moms out there who do not do what is right and best for their kids? Is there no one who has experienced anything like this?
Stating facts and looking for answers here in a legal system that seems to only serve the attorneys and whoever can afford to pay one.

 

[Zigner]

Is this a "dad bashing" forum? Why is it that no one wants to believe there are moms out there who do not do what is right and best for their kids? Is there no one who has experienced anything like this?
Stating facts and looking for answers here in a legal system that seems to only serve the attorneys and whoever can afford to pay one.

I am (ok was, they are grown now) a single father with full physical and legal custody of his 3 children and I was pro-se. Hardly "dad bashing"

 

[single317dad]

Is this a "dad bashing" forum? Why is it that no one wants to believe there are moms out there who do not do what is right and best for their kids? Is there no one who has experienced anything like this?

You should hang out for a while and get to know people here. You wouldn't be asking those questions if you had.

Stating facts and looking for answers here in a legal system that seems to only serve the attorneys and whoever can afford to pay one.

Your assessment of your ex-wife is opinion, not fact. Success in court requires an understanding of the law. If you do not understand the law (e.g. the clear difference between fact and opinion), then you need to hire someone who does to represent you.

 

[CJane]

I'll warn you, it will be a hard row to hoe, going into court and asking for a reduction in child support when the kids are wearing potato sack dresses and bread bag shoes. "Your honor, the kids aren't being provided for adequately - can I please pay less in child support?"

 

[Ohiogal]

Could not afford to go to trial. In the county we live in, the judges (based on what my attorney and the mediator said) do not provide more than the standard visitation for the father. I absolutely am not whining. I am the only parent trying to take care of the needs of the children and that is harder to do when she squanders the CS on shopping and I am left to try to provide for their needs in both households. The children even recognize this, discussing the "boxes" on the doorstep everyday and the fact that she has thousands of dollars worth of clothes in her CLOSETS with tags that she never wears. And they have shoes with holes two sizes too small. I am not exaggerating. This woman has already been held in contempt in another county for "alientation of affection" with the oldest child's biological father, and admitted that she has lied for years about abuse.

As far as her job is concerned, there are many many opportunities, she chooses to cause drama in the work place and not pursue those opportunities. She likes lounging by the pool and drinking on the boat with her friends while the children are home alone.

My goal here is not to bash her, I am giving facts and looing for opinions based on the modification that I am entitled to.

Bull. Did you ever ask about the law? You AGREED to mom getting custody. That was a DECISION you made. That was a CHOICE you made. YOU told the court mom was the best choice for primary custodian by opening your mouth and agreeing. Alienation of affection matters not when it comes to the oldest child's father. That has NO bearing on you. OH and by the way -- you PARTICIPATED in the alienating of that father by considering that CHILD to be your child. Did you have that child call you dad/daddy/papa/father? Did you ever speak negatively about that child's parent? Did you ever tell your wife at the time not to speak negatively about him? If you allowed the child to call you any paternal names or engaged in negative speak about that child's father, you are a hypocrite for criticizing mom. You are a hypocrite for considering yourself a DAD of 4 when you are not and that child has a father who was alienated from her by the actions of your then-wife. AND you participated.