Father claims emancipation, child support denied

[CazualObserver]

What is the name of your state? New York and Florida

19 yrs old, parents divorcing. I've been heavily involved in equestrian sports since age 2. Trained entire life to become professional trainer/Olympic rider. Traveled to FL for horse show circuit every year. Graduated high school June 05. Mother sick with cancer beginning in Spring 05. Father refused care, left me to care for mother. Forced to defer college acceptance until mother's recovery. Returned to FL for winter horse show circuit, Jan '06. Rec'd opportunity to enroll in 4-yr professional training program with horse. Schooling for 4 years to receive professional status and enter into equestrian field as pro. Parents encouraged & supported. Put up in one of our winter homes for the course of my schooling. Trained for 6 mos. Returned to NY on many occassions during school breaks. Domestic situation at home got worse. Sept '06, father snaps, beats & rapes mother, threatens to kill her. She flees home, I stay behind to give her time to get away. I flee back to FL end of Sept. Divorce filed Oct '06. Father heavily involved with police/court, all his friends. Has private meetings w/ Judge. Father's claimed I'm emancipated since '05. Court agrees, child support & schooling fees denied. I'm not allowed to show evidence proving otherwise. No lawyers or judges will hear me. Need intervention advice, no one will listen. Searching for any kind of help.

[Silverplum]

I can't imagine what you could do, except be a grownup and responsible for yourself.

Originally Posted by CazualObserver

What is the name of your state? New York and Florida

19 yrs old, parents divorcing. I've been heavily involved in equestrian sports since age 2. Trained entire life to become professional trainer/Olympic rider. Traveled to FL for horse show circuit every year. Graduated high school June 05. Mother sick with cancer beginning in Spring 05. Father refused care, left me to care for mother. Forced to defer college acceptance until mother's recovery. Returned to FL for winter horse show circuit, Jan '06. Rec'd opportunity to enroll in 4-yr professional training program with horse. Schooling for 4 years to receive professional status and enter into equestrian field as pro. Parents encouraged & supported. Put up in one of our winter homes for the course of my schooling. Trained for 6 mos. Returned to NY on many occassions during school breaks. Domestic situation at home got worse. Sept '06, father snaps, beats & rapes mother, threatens to kill her. She flees home, I stay behind to give her time to get away. I flee back to FL end of Sept. Divorce filed Oct '06. Father heavily involved with police/court, all his friends. Has private meetings w/ Judge. Father's claimed I'm emancipated since '05. Court agrees, child support & schooling fees denied. I'm not allowed to show evidence proving otherwise. No lawyers or judges will hear me. Need intervention advice, no one will listen. Searching for any kind of help.

[MrsK]

Originally Posted by Silverplum

I can't imagine what you could do, except be a grownup and responsible for yourself.

I love you so much for that Silver

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by CazualObserver

What is the name of your state? New York and Florida

19 yrs old, parents divorcing. I've been heavily involved in equestrian sports since age 2. Trained entire life to become professional trainer/Olympic rider. Traveled to FL for horse show circuit every year. Graduated high school June 05. Mother sick with cancer beginning in Spring 05. Father refused care, left me to care for mother. Forced to defer college acceptance until mother's recovery. Returned to FL for winter horse show circuit, Jan '06. Rec'd opportunity to enroll in 4-yr professional training program with horse. Schooling for 4 years to receive professional status and enter into equestrian field as pro. Parents encouraged & supported. Put up in one of our winter homes for the course of my schooling. Trained for 6 mos. Returned to NY on many occassions during school breaks. Domestic situation at home got worse. Sept '06, father snaps, beats & rapes mother, threatens to kill her. She flees home, I stay behind to give her time to get away. I flee back to FL end of Sept. Divorce filed Oct '06. Father heavily involved with police/court, all his friends. Has private meetings w/ Judge. Father's claimed I'm emancipated since '05. Court agrees, child support & schooling fees denied. I'm not allowed to show evidence proving otherwise. No lawyers or judges will hear me. Need intervention advice, no one will listen. Searching for any kind of help.

You are an adult. You live in Florida. You are emancipated. The person who had to provide evidence was your mother. This case was between your father and your mother. YOU were not a party. child support would have been paid to your mom not to you. Your mother would have had to fight for schooling fees.
You now have the choice to get a job to support yourself or have your mom pay for you.

[CazualObserver]

So you're telling me that when a child goes to college out of state it is no longer their parents' responsibility to pay for their education, regardless of their differences? I do not LIVE in Florida. My car has NY plates, I still have my NY license. I travel back and forth between here and New York all the time. The only reason I stayed was because of school, and the only reason I had to leave NY in the end was because my father got violent.

Up until this point I have been fully supported by both parents in my career path. I am training for an Olympic sport and to be a professional rider and trainer. I've been groomed for it all my life. He encouraged me to keep my goals because I had only 4 years left to go before becoming certified as pro. I'm not your typical 19 year old who decided they didn't want to go to college & who should get a job flipping burgers. This is an elite profession, and I just don't understand how he can pull the rug out from underneath me just for going to school out of state. The man's been paying my bills from day one to allow me to concentrate on my career. So it isn't about just growing up & finding a way to take care of myself. That's not advice. I haven't heard anything different from the judge. But I guess that's what you get when small-minded people just can't wrap their brains around such a concept.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by CazualObserver

So you're telling me that when a child goes to college out of state it is no longer their parents' responsibility to pay for their education, regardless of their differences? I do not LIVE in Florida. My car has NY plates, I still have my NY license. I travel back and forth between here and New York all the time. The only reason I stayed was because of school, and the only reason I had to leave NY in the end was because my father got violent.

Up until this point I have been fully supported by both parents in my career path. I am training for an Olympic sport and to be a professional rider and trainer. I've been groomed for it all my life. He encouraged me to keep my goals because I had only 4 years left to go before becoming certified as pro. I'm not your typical 19 year old who decided they didn't want to go to college & who should get a job flipping burgers. This is an elite profession, and I just don't understand how he can pull the rug out from underneath me just for going to school out of state. The man's been paying my bills from day one to allow me to concentrate on my career. So it isn't about just growing up & finding a way to take care of myself. That's not advice. I haven't heard anything different from the judge. But I guess that's what you get when small-minded people just can't wrap their brains around such a concept.

Hate to be the one to break the news to you, but you aren't going to get any sympathy here. First of all, this is a LEGAL website and you have been given the LEGALLY CORRECT answer. Your mother would need to present evidence to the court, not you. Plus, most of us paid our OWN college bills. Hell, I went off to college long BEFORE I became a legal adult (18) and my parents didn't pay my way. They certainly didn't offer to support me AFTER I became an adult.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by CazualObserver

So you're telling me that when a child goes to college out of state it is no longer their parents' responsibility to pay for their education, regardless of their differences?

That is correct. It is their OPTION to pay for it, unless court ordered to do so. Parents are not obligated to pay - they choose to pay, or choose not to. And if their circumstances change, they may not even be able to do what they always intended to do. If you are that good, you should pursue scholarships or some other way of paying. Or working part time, schooling part time.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by CazualObserver

So you're telling me that when a child goes to college out of state it is no longer their parents' responsibility to pay for their education, regardless of their differences? I do not LIVE in Florida. My car has NY plates, I still have my NY license. I travel back and forth between here and New York all the time. The only reason I stayed was because of school, and the only reason I had to leave NY in the end was because my father got violent.

Up until this point I have been fully supported by both parents in my career path. I am training for an Olympic sport and to be a professional rider and trainer. I've been groomed for it all my life. He encouraged me to keep my goals because I had only 4 years left to go before becoming certified as pro. I'm not your typical 19 year old who decided they didn't want to go to college & who should get a job flipping burgers. This is an elite profession, and I just don't understand how he can pull the rug out from underneath me just for going to school out of state. The man's been paying my bills from day one to allow me to concentrate on my career. So it isn't about just growing up & finding a way to take care of myself. That's not advice. I haven't heard anything different from the judge. But I guess that's what you get when small-minded people just can't wrap their brains around such a concept.

You are whining. If it was that important to your mother that you continue then she could have possibly pursued support for you from dad and presented evidence. She apparently did not or did not present ENOUGH evidence to convince a judge. You are training for a Olympic sport? Whoop-de-do. that does not make you more special than any other college student that is training for a career. You may think it does but it doesn't. The man was supporting his CHILD which you are no longer. What do you want? YOu legally have NO bone in this dog fight. Only your mother and father do. And considering how you speak about him I can imagine how you treat him and it is no wonder that he won't voluntarily pay for your training.

[CazualObserver]

Correct, I did come here searching for a legal answer. Why? Because my father is in half of New York State's back pocket and seems to get away with everything. I was hoping to hear from someone who could tell me how to handle those who abuse their authority. You're right we didn't present evidence... because we were not allowed to! Only my father was granted private meetings with the judge, and allowed to present his evidence... and our lawyer can't find out on what grounds his "emancipation" claim was found to be true. I didn't realize that a divorce meant I'm no longer his child, but I guess since he's above the law it can mean whatever he wants it to.

And how am I supposed to speak of the man who raped and beat my mother, and then threatened our lives?

[jbowman]

Originally Posted by CazualObserver

And how am I supposed to speak of the man who raped and beat my mother, and then threatened our lives?

But you still expect him to pay? Come on, grow up!! Why would he? First of all, you are an adult. He paid what he HAD to pay. Now it is your turn. What makes you so special??? Sorry, but in the real world, there are not always free rides. You sound like a spoiled, arrogant little punk. Seriously.

I swear to God, if my son grows up to be like this, I will beat his ass. NO KIDDING.

[CazualObserver]

With all due respect, that only goes to show how little you know of what you're talking about. People only go pro when they seek to train as a career... and they don't usually do it until they're MUCH older and can no longer retain their amateur status. Take a read through the USEF rule book. I don't know where you got the impression that everyone should be pro by the time they're 19, but you're terribly mistaken. Sorry.

[jbowman]

Originally Posted by CazualObserver

With all due respect, that only goes to show how little you know of what you're talking about. People only go pro when they seek to train as a career... and they don't usually do it until they're MUCH older and can no longer retain their amateur status. Take a read through the USEF rule book. I don't know where you got the impression that everyone should be pro by the time they're 19, but you're terribly mistaken. Sorry.

HAHAHHA wait, wait.... HAHAHAHAHAH cant. breathe.... HAHAHHAHA

DUDE who CARES???

CJANE, make sure you go read that USEF book... and hurry!!! This is so ridiculous!!!! This is about you being a self absorbed little brat with an overly inflated sense of entitlement. It has NOTHING to do with some dork riding a horse. You are so embarrassing....

[CJane]

Originally Posted by jbowman

CJANE, make sure you go read that USEF book... and hurry!!!

Heh. I was training with members of the USET (now the USEF) when I was 9, and people were paying me to train and show their horses before I graduated high school. I was a junior when I was offered a full scholarship to one of the best equestrian schools in the nation.

It's been... geezus, 20 years, and I still keep in touch with people on the team, train with them on occasion, and swap horses for training now and then. And mommy and daddy never footed the bill for it.

If you're good, you don't need someone paying your way while you 'wait to go pro'.

[CazualObserver]

I care, because it's my future that is being taken away. I spent my entire life dedicated to a specialized career. I believed my father when he said he would support me in this endeavor. I passed up many other career options based on his promises. He makes almost $800k a year, half of which is all cash. It is not that he can't. It's that he won't. And the only reason I came to this board was because I was hoping to find someone who could advise me how to right this wrong. He is in everyone's back pocket and there seems to be no way of combating it. I was never emancipated. I am not self-supporting. I still live under my parents' roof. The only reason the court took his side and ruled in his favor is because he's everybody's friend. That is why I came here. Not to be attacked or to start a mud-slinging fest.

[CJane]

Originally Posted by CazualObserver

the only reason I came to this board was because I was hoping to find someone who could advise me how to right this wrong.

I was never emancipated. I am not self-supporting. I still live under my parents' roof.

You were emancipated at 18. You are an ADULT. It doesn't matter where you live, or whether or not you're ACTUALLY self-supporting. What matters is that as an adult, you SHOULD be self-supporting.

I'm sorry. Really. But there's no wrong to be righted, and it has nothing to do with who your father's friends are. You have NO recourse at all. None.