Father collecting child suport debt even though he has children

[laughingstar11]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Hello, I’m posting for my brother.

My brother, Jason, was married and had 2 girls in Florida. A few years ago his wife divorced him and took his 2 girls and her other 3 kids from previous relationships with her to Vermont. When she was up there she started getting child support from Jason ($1,100) but she was only in Vermont for about 6 months and then moved to Massachusetts. Jason just started paying her the $1,100 directly into her bank account. She claims there was a reason why it was all messed up and she never changed it to Massachusetts. He trusted her and wanted his girls to be safe so he paid her the money directly. She has never worked and has 5 children so he never questioned sending it to her. He has never missed a month of sending money and often times pay her more than he is supposed to.

About 2 months ago she hit rock bottom (from alcoholism) and Jason went up there (per her request) to get her and her 4 youngest, ages 6-11. He brought them all back to Florida. She couldn’t take care of the kids anymore and had several open cases with social services. They were about to take the children to foster homes and she was being evicted from their home in Massachusetts. Now he has 4 children and his ex-wife living with him that he is fully supporting.

We just found out she has been still getting money from Vermont for Jason’s girls claiming she isn’t getting money from him. He has all his bank account records showing every time he has paid her and anytime she needed gas in the furnace or money for food or anything he always transferred it directly into her account. So basically she has been getting child support from Jason AND the state has been giving her money because they think she isn’t getting child support.

We are worried because according to Vermont they are going to think he has never paid these past 4 years and it’s going to keep accumulating unless its fixed. They take Jason’s tax money every year for no reason because she refuses to fix it. Since he has taken her and the kids in he has told her he isn’t paying her anymore. It’s going directly towards the food and bills. She has complained a few times about not having any money because he won’t pay her the child support anymore. She is not supporting the kids at all. Not to mention he has take in 2 other kids that aren’t even his because their father has never been in their life or paid a cent towards them. We know she will be no help in getting this child support issue resolved. She gets about $470 (that we know about, could be more) from Massachusetts for the 2 kids that are not Jason’s. But still has no money because she is an alcoholic. When he would send child support money to her and got $1,000 in food stamps the kids still never had any food in their fridge. When we would visit and the kids would always make comments about having no food. One day I walked into my brothers house with 4 bags of groceries and they said, “Wow you must be rich! We never got this many groceries at mommy’s!” They were amazed to see 4 plastic bags of groceries when their mom gets $1,000 in food stamps? We have our suspicions that she buying people groceries for cash.

My questions are:
Can they come after him for back child support?
Can he prove with just bank records that he has paid these past 4 years?
How can he fix this with Vermont so they stop the child support from accumulating and stop giving her money for children she is no longer supporting?

Also, does anyone know how he shall go about getting full custody of his girls and possibly become a foster parent to the other 2 children that are not his? Social services has already come to his home here in Florida and threatened to take the other 2 kids because they have no dad and at the time their mom was back in Massachusetts and no one could get a hold of her. When she disappears they are considered parentless and Jason would like to keep all 4 children together. They have been through enough.

Any help is appreciated. Thank you!

 

[stealth2]

So... Has he taken it back to court?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Hello, I’m posting for my brother.

My brother, Jason, was married and had 2 girls in Florida. A few years ago his wife divorced him and took his 2 girls and her other 3 kids from previous relationships with her to Vermont. When she was up there she started getting child support from Jason ($1,100) but she was only in Vermont for about 6 months and then moved to Massachusetts. Jason just started paying her the $1,100 directly into her bank account. She claims there was a reason why it was all messed up and she never changed it to Massachusetts. He trusted her and wanted his girls to be safe so he paid her the money directly. She has never worked and has 5 children so he never questioned sending it to her. He has never missed a month of sending money and often times pay her more than he is supposed to.

About 2 months ago she hit rock bottom (from alcoholism) and Jason went up there (per her request) to get her and her 4 youngest, ages 6-11. He brought them all back to Florida. She couldn’t take care of the kids anymore and had several open cases with social services. They were about to take the children to foster homes and she was being evicted from their home in Massachusetts. Now he has 4 children and his ex-wife living with him that he is fully supporting.

We just found out she has been still getting money from Vermont for Jason’s girls claiming she isn’t getting money from him. He has all his bank account records showing every time he has paid her and anytime she needed gas in the furnace or money for food or anything he always transferred it directly into her account. So basically she has been getting child support from Jason AND the state has been giving her money because they think she isn’t getting child support.

We are worried because according to Vermont they are going to think he has never paid these past 4 years and it’s going to keep accumulating unless its fixed. They take Jason’s tax money every year for no reason because she refuses to fix it. Since he has taken her and the kids in he has told her he isn’t paying her anymore. It’s going directly towards the food and bills. She has complained a few times about not having any money because he won’t pay her the child support anymore. She is not supporting the kids at all. Not to mention he has take in 2 other kids that aren’t even his because their father has never been in their life or paid a cent towards them. We know she will be no help in getting this child support issue resolved. She gets about $470 (that we know about, could be more) from Massachusetts for the 2 kids that are not Jason’s. But still has no money because she is an alcoholic. When he would send child support money to her and got $1,000 in food stamps the kids still never had any food in their fridge. When we would visit and the kids would always make comments about having no food. One day I walked into my brothers house with 4 bags of groceries and they said, “Wow you must be rich! We never got this many groceries at mommy’s!” They were amazed to see 4 plastic bags of groceries when their mom gets $1,000 in food stamps? We have our suspicions that she buying people groceries for cash.

My questions are:
Can they come after him for back child support?
Can he prove with just bank records that he has paid these past 4 years?
How can he fix this with Vermont so they stop the child support from accumulating and stop giving her money for children she is no longer supporting?

Also, does anyone know how he shall go about getting full custody of his girls and possibly become a foster parent to the other 2 children that are not his? Social services has already come to his home here in Florida and threatened to take the other 2 kids because they have no dad and at the time their mom was back in Massachusetts and no one could get a hold of her. When she disappears they are considered parentless and Jason would like to keep all 4 children together. They have been through enough.

Any help is appreciated. Thank you!

Assuming Mom is on state aid, they will go after Dad for reimbursement of the tax payers' money.

 

[single317dad]

Any money paid directly from Dad to Mom will be considered a gift by most states and not applicable toward any child support order. Your brother needs to pay his support through the court clerk as ordered, and cross his fingers that he can get the support already paid applied to the account.

 

[stealth2]

Bro kinda needs to work his own stuff out...

 

[LdiJ]

Any money paid directly from Dad to Mom will be considered a gift by most states and not applicable toward any child support order. Your brother needs to pay his support through the court clerk as ordered, and cross his fingers that he can get the support already paid applied to the account.

That is true when there is no child support order at all, its not necessarily true if there is a child support order and he is paying according to the order, and can prove it.

Dad needs to get and attorney and get straight back to court on this before it becomes a bigger mess than it already is.

 

[laughingstar11]

Thank you. We know he needs to go to court. It just he works 6 days a week and is on the verge of losing his job from missing so much work to go get his children from Mass. Thank you though!

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Now he has 4 children and his ex-wife living with him that he is fully supporting.

Thank you. We know he needs to go to court. It just he works 6 days a week and is on the verge of losing his job from missing so much work to go get his children from Mass. Thank you though!

Am I the only one missing something?

 

[Proserpina]

Am I the only one missing something?

I'm hoping it's just a wording issue.

 

[Ladyback1]

That is true when there is no child support order at all, its not necessarily true if there is a child support order and he is paying according to the order, and can prove it.
.

You are only correct if the support order is not being enforced (collected) by a state agency.

Ex paid me directly AFTER I had requested the state CSED enforce the order. According to CSED, and case law (for this state), I could have kept the payment as a gift, and Ex would be on the hook for paying again (I did not...that would have been wrong)

 

[Pinkie39]

My brother went into child support arrears after his divorce from his first wife, even though he was giving her money directly for their son. We're in Ohio. His ex filed for child support as part of their divorce, but it took a year for an order to go into effect, and for the child support to start being garnished from my brother's paychecks. He was giving his ex money in the meantime, but the judge/CSEA considered it a "gift". He ended up around $11,000 in arrears. The CSEA refused to credit the money he had already given his ex towards the arrears. I hope the OPs brother has better luck than my brother did, with getting what he's already given his ex, credited towards child support.

My brother also has two stepsons, from his first marriage, who he raised since they were babies - their bio fathers were never around, and didn't pay child support. My brother got legal custody of the younger stepson, along with his bio son (older stepson was already an adult at that point), a few years ago. His ex wife sent the younger stepson and my brother's bio son to live with him, and his current wife, and my brother had to go to court to get legal custody, so he could enroll the boys in school (he lives in a different city than his ex). It may be possible for the OP's brother to get legal custody of the non bio children, if his ex will agree to it.

 

[Proserpina]

My brother went into child support arrears after his divorce from his first wife, even though he was giving her money directly for their son. We're in Ohio. His ex filed for child support as part of their divorce, but it took a year for an order to go into effect, and for the child support to start being garnished from my brother's paychecks. He was giving his ex money in the meantime, but the judge/CSEA considered it a "gift". He ended up around $11,000 in arrears. The CSEA refused to credit the money he had already given his ex towards the arrears. I hope the OPs brother has better luck than my brother did, with getting what he's already given his ex, credited towards child support.

My brother also has two stepsons, from his first marriage, who he raised since they were babies - their bio fathers were never around, and didn't pay child support. My brother got legal custody of the younger stepson, along with his bio son (older stepson was already an adult at that point), a few years ago. His ex wife sent the younger stepson and my brother's bio son to live with him, and his current wife, and my brother had to go to court to get legal custody, so he could enroll the boys in school (he lives in a different city than his ex). It may be possible for the OP's brother to get legal custody of the non bio children, if his ex will agree to it.

Your brother managed to get custody of two children who aren't his?

How interesting.

 

[Pinkie39]

Your brother managed to get custody of two children who aren't his?

How interesting.

No, one who isn't his, and one who is. His ex wife had a one year son when he met her, whose dad was never in the picture. My brother raised the boy like his own son. A few years later, he and his ex (they weren't married yet) broke up briefly, and she got pregnant by another guy who she had a fling with. The guy wanted nothing to do with her after she got pregnant. I don't know if he's even on my nephew's birth certificate. I know my nephew has never met him. Neither of the two boys fathers paid child support.

My brother and his ex got back together while she was pregnant, and had a son together, a few years after that. They got married when my bio nephew was about 2. My brother raised both of his stepsons like his own kids. When he and his ex divorced, his ex got custody of their bio son, but my brother took all 3 boys every weekend, holidays, etc, and took care of all 3 financially, even though he only had to pay child support for his bio son. When the younger stepson and the bio son were teenagers (oldest stepson was already an adult by then), their mom sent them to live with my brother and his current wife. She couldn't provide a stable home for them, and my brother also lives in an excellent public school district. My brother had to go to court to get custody of his bio son changed to him, and to become legal guardian for his younger stepson. His ex wife agreed to it. He said the people at the court were astounded that he would want custody of a kid who wasn't even his. But not all divorced or unmarried men are deadbeats. His oldest stepson has lived with him as an adult, on occasion, and his younger stepson still lives with him, even now that he's 21. His bio son is 19 now, still lives with him, and is graduating from high school next year.

He also has a bio daughter with his current wife, and another stepson and stepdaughter, his current wife's kids, from her first marriage. So he has 5 kids living with him and his current wife, who he all takes care of. His wife's ex husband lives overseas, doesn't pay child support, and hasn't seen his kids since they were toddlers.

It's very convoluted, but all 100 percent true!

 

[Ohiogal]

No, one who isn't his, and one who is. His ex wife had a one year son when he met her, whose dad was never in the picture. My brother raised the boy like his own son. A few years later, he and his ex (they weren't married yet) broke up briefly, and she got pregnant by another guy who she had a fling with. The guy wanted nothing to do with her after she got pregnant. I don't know if he's even on my nephew's birth certificate. I know my nephew has never met him. Neither of the two boys fathers paid child support.

My brother and his ex got back together while she was pregnant, and had a son together, a few years after that. They got married when my bio nephew was about 2. My brother raised both of his stepsons like his own kids. When he and his ex divorced, his ex got custody of their bio son, but my brother took all 3 boys every weekend, holidays, etc, and took care of all 3 financially, even though he only had to pay child support for his bio son. When the younger stepson and the bio son were teenagers (oldest stepson was already an adult by then), their mom sent them to live with my brother and his current wife. She couldn't provide a stable home for them, and my brother also lives in an excellent public school district. My brother had to go to court to get custody of his bio son changed to him, and to become legal guardian for his younger stepson. His ex wife agreed to it. He said the people at the court were astounded that he would want custody of a kid who wasn't even his. But not all divorced or unmarried men are deadbeats. His oldest stepson has lived with him as an adult, on occasion, and his younger stepson still lives with him, even now that he's 21. His bio son is 19 now, still lives with him, and is graduating from high school next year.

He also has a bio daughter with his current wife, and another stepson and stepdaughter, his current wife's kids, from her first marriage. So he has 5 kids living with him and his current wife, who he all takes care of. His wife's ex husband lives overseas, doesn't pay child support, and hasn't seen his kids since they were toddlers.

It's very convoluted, but all 100 percent true!

So he served the child's father? Because if he didn't serve the child's father, his custody was void.

 

[Pinkie39]

So he served the child's father? Because if he didn't serve the child's father, his custody was void.

I assume everything was done properly. I don't know all the details. I know he had no problem getting custody, and enrolling his stepson in school, other than his saying the court costs were fairly high.