Feel sorry for him? NEVER!

[Myexisajerk2001]

What is the name of your state? IL

My ex boyfriend and I have a 7 week old daughter. He denied the child through the whole pregnancy and then stated he wanted a paternity test, but would not initiate it. So I did....and after I paid a LOT of money for a lawyer, he served ME with papers. He is currently not on the birth cirtificate but wanted to see my daughter all the time. I wouldnt let him because he wanted everything but fiscal responsibility for her. I cant wait to take this damn test! Anyway....he wanted to settle everything out of court because it would be cheaper for both of us. He said he couldnt pay the 20% required by the state, he cant afford her on his insurance, he wont pay half day care and so on. So his lawyer served papers to my parents house today. My question....can the judge lower the percentage he has to pay? He bought a new 35,000 car 3 months ago, he moved out of his parents house and got an apartment with his gf KNOWING he had this child on the way. His words were "I still have to have a life" Will the court look at his income and his new expenses and lower the amount my daughter will get? Im sick to my stomache that he cares more about his car then his daughter. HELP!!!What is the name of your state?

 

[MrsK]

What is the name of your state? IL

My ex boyfriend and I have a 7 week old daughter. He denied the child through the whole pregnancy and then stated he wanted a paternity test, but would not initiate it. So I did....and after I paid a LOT of money for a lawyer, he served ME with papers. He is currently not on the birth cirtificate but wanted to see my daughter all the time. I wouldnt let him because he wanted everything but fiscal responsibility for her. I cant wait to take this damn test! Anyway....he wanted to settle everything out of court because it would be cheaper for both of us. He said he couldnt pay the 20% required by the state, he cant afford her on his insurance, he wont pay half day care and so on. So his lawyer served papers to my parents house today. My question....can the judge lower the percentage he has to pay? He bought a new 35,000 car 3 months ago, he moved out of his parents house and got an apartment with his gf KNOWING he had this child on the way. His words were "I still have to have a life" Will the court look at his income and his new expenses and lower the amount my daughter will get? Im sick to my stomache that he cares more about his car then his daughter. HELP!!!What is the name of your state?

There are guidelines the state will follow to help determine how much $ he will have to pay. The court is unlikely to deviate, unless he has a good reason.

BTW- you dont need to feel sorry for him. Just like WE dont need to feel sorry for YOU. You slept with him, you got pregnant...now this is what you get to deal with. Dont forget that its NOT just HIS responsiblity to support this child, you need to do YOUR share, too. That doesnt mean getting on welfare, just an FYI.

PS- He does still get to have a life, even if you are bitter about it. He is allowed to care more about his car if he wants to. His ONLY obligation IF he is the father will be support.

 

[shell007]

There are guidelines the state will follow to help determine how much $ he will have to pay. The court is unlikely to deviate, unless he has a good reason.

BTW- you dont need to feel sorry for him. Just like WE dont need to feel sorry for YOU. You slept with him, you got pregnant...now this is what you get to deal with. Dont forget that its NOT just HIS responsiblity to support this child, you need to do YOUR share, too. That doesnt mean getting on welfare, just an FYI.

PS- He does still get to have a life, even if you are bitter about it. He is allowed to care more about his car if he wants to. His ONLY obligation IF he is the father will be support.

Well said MrsK!!

 

[NotSoNew]

they court does not care about expenses in CS calculations (unless they are in extreme circumstances such as medical expenses for the child or something), more then likely he will be ordered to pay the state % of his income regardless of what he just bought or can afford.

he will also be awarded visitation if he has filed for it.

 

[Myexisajerk2001]

WHOA!!!!!! Hold on a sec. Who are you shove your opinions at me? Who do you think you are? This is an ADVICE board, not an OPINION board. And if you are not here for ADVICE but to make RUDE assumptions about people then why dont you find a hobby and LEAVE.

I TAKE CARE OF MY DAUGHTER WITH NO HELP FROM ANYONE ELSE SO BITE ME!

And as for her father, I hope he enjoys his life and wish he would stay out of our lives but he wont. Yes, he WILL pay support but if he chooses to be a part of my daughters life then SHE should be his life. God, are you a mother because you SURE AS HELL dont sound like one!

 

[critterperson]

What is the name of your state? IL

My ex boyfriend and I have a 7 week old daughter. He denied the child through the whole pregnancy and then stated he wanted a paternity test, but would not initiate it. So I did....and after I paid a LOT of money for a lawyer, he served ME with papers. He is currently not on the birth cirtificate but wanted to see my daughter all the time. I wouldnt let him because he wanted everything but fiscal responsibility for her. I cant wait to take this damn test! Anyway....he wanted to settle everything out of court because it would be cheaper for both of us. He said he couldnt pay the 20% required by the state, he cant afford her on his insurance, he wont pay half day care and so on. So his lawyer served papers to my parents house today. My question....can the judge lower the percentage he has to pay? He bought a new 35,000 car 3 months ago, he moved out of his parents house and got an apartment with his gf KNOWING he had this child on the way. His words were "I still have to have a life" Will the court look at his income and his new expenses and lower the amount my daughter will get? Im sick to my stomache that he cares more about his car then his daughter. HELP!!!What is the name of your state?

I am from Illinois, and dealing with the same type of ex...you have my sympathy ...The court could care less if he is living out of a cardboard box... in Illinois the Minimum child support amount is 20% of his net income unless there is a significant reason to reduce this amount… things to look at: does he make a super high income or is he paying child support for another child born BEFORE your child, or is your child the only one? The reason for the question about his income is because in Illinois if the payer has a significant income (all cases referred to over $150,000 a year income) they may deviate downward from the guidelines to prevent a windfall to the child. As to the second question, if he has another child support deduction for a child prior to your child together that will be taken off of the top, and your support will be based on 20% of what is left… Good Luck to you!

 

[Myexisajerk2001]

BTW....I NEVER asked anyone to feel sorry for me. I described my situation. READ MORE CAREFULLY. You people who are here just to throw rude comments at people really need a life. Some people are here for the right reasons and are looking for advice, not to be belittled by their situations.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

BTW....I NEVER asked anyone to feel sorry for me. I described my situation. READ MORE CAREFULLY. You people who are here just to throw rude comments at people really need a life. Some people are here for the right reasons and are looking for advice, not to be belittled by their situations.

Hey bitch, you come on this forum, trash the man you lay down with and produced a baby and THEN you have the audacity to tell this forum you ONLY want advice you agree with?

Please take that attitude with you to court. I'd love for you to get bitch-slapped by the judge (man OR woman).

Now, as to your situation, how the hell do you expect an answer when you have given absolutely no relevant facts.

 

[fairisfair]

BTW....I NEVER asked anyone to feel sorry for me. I described my situation. READ MORE CAREFULLY. You people who are here just to throw rude comments at people really need a life. Some people are here for the right reasons and are looking for advice, not to be belittled by their situations.

so don't listen to it then, You did receive the correct advice, the court will not take into consideration his spending habits, the only payments that would be considered are extraordinary medical bills, or previous spousal support or child support for other children.

Yes, some of the replies were crappy, but you didn't want either kind, even the poster who sympathized with you got slammed by you.

if you don't want people's opinions, then perhaps not posting the intimate details of your life on the internet might be in order.

 

[shell007]

WHOA!!!!!! Hold on a sec. Who are you shove your opinions at me? Who do you think you are? This is an ADVICE board, not an OPINION board. And if you are not here for ADVICE but to make RUDE assumptions about people then why dont you find a hobby and LEAVE.

I TAKE CARE OF MY DAUGHTER WITH NO HELP FROM ANYONE ELSE SO BITE ME!

And as for her father, I hope he enjoys his life and wish he would stay out of our lives but he wont. Yes, he WILL pay support but if he chooses to be a part of my daughters life then SHE should be his life. God, are you a mother because you SURE AS HELL dont sound like one!

Since you want to air your dirty laundry on the internet, be prepared to hear things that you don't like.

As for this comment:

I TAKE CARE OF MY DAUGHTER WITH NO HELP FROM ANYONE ELSE SO BITE ME!

NICE MOUTH MOM!!!

How old are you anyway???

OP: Next time you decide to have a baby....GET MARRIED FIRST!!! That is my advice AND IT'S LEGAL!!!

 

[NotSoNew]

<sigh> theres another one every minute eh?

do you people read any posts before you post something?

take everything with a grain of salt here.

if you don't like what someone says to you, take your own advice and simply don't respond to it.

 

[Neal1421]

Hey bitch, you come on this forum, trash the man you lay down with and produced a baby and THEN you have the audacity to tell this forum you ONLY want advice you agree with?

Please take that attitude with you to court. I'd love for you to get bitch-slapped by the judge (man OR woman).

Now, as to your situation, how the hell do you expect an answer when you have given absolutely no relevant facts.

Wow BB, tell her how you really feel!

 

[moburkes]

BTW....I NEVER asked anyone to feel sorry for me. I described my situation. READ MORE CAREFULLY. You people who are here just to throw rude comments at people really need a life. Some people are here for the right reasons and are looking for advice, not to be belittled by their situations.

You came to a legal advice site, like you said.

Im sick to my stomache that he cares more about his car then his daughter. HELP

You'll be sick forever, then, because you can't make him have a conscience.

You told the story about what he has done since he left you. You opened yourself up for comments.

Yes, he WILL pay support but if he chooses to be a part of my daughters life then SHE should be his life

Your opinion (oops, did I SAY that word?), but not the LAW's opinion, and the LAW's opinion is the only one that counts!

I'm a mother by the way, of 2. And I could care less what my kids' dad is doing with his new GF or his money. Not my business, not my problem.

 

[fairisfair]

Well said MrsK!!

the first two lines were well done, the rest could have gone unsaid.

 

[fairisfair]

You came to a legal advice site, like you said.

You'll be sick forever, then, because you can't make him have a conscience.

You told the story about what he has done since he left you. You opened yourself up for comments.

Your opinion (oops, did I SAY that word?), but not the LAW's opinion, and the LAW's opinion is the only one that counts!

I'm a mother by the way, of 2. And I could care less what my kids' dad is doing with his new GF or his money. Not my business, not my problem.

mo, did you say oops?? wonder what happened to oops daddy??