Fiance and baby on the way

[pmcamp17]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I was hoping someone could help me. I have been searching months for answers. My fiance and I are having a child in October and he is currently on child support for his 4 year old daughter. My fiance is currently behind on child support but each time he or I have extra cash we send it in. My concern now is that I am afraid that I will continue having to send money which I can use for my unborn child if I do not put my fiance on child support. I would rather not because I find it unneccessary to force someone to take care of their child if they dont want to. I also prefer not to waste my time with the legal aspect of it all. I figure if I couldn't afford to have a child alone that's my fault. Back to my question though, what are our options since I don't want to file for support? Will they atleast take into consideration that he has another child, maybe lowering the amount we have to pay so that I can still take care of my child comfortably? I'm not being selfish I just want to be fairWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I was hoping someone could help me. I have been searching months for answers. My fiance and I are having a child in October and he is currently on child support for his 4 year old daughter. My fiance is currently behind on child support but each time he or I have extra cash we send it in. My concern now is that I am afraid that I will continue having to send money which I can use for my unborn child if I do not put my fiance on child support. I would rather not because I find it unneccessary to force someone to take care of their child if they dont want to. I also prefer not to waste my time with the legal aspect of it all. I figure if I couldn't afford to have a child alone that's my fault. Back to my question though, what are our options since I don't want to file for support? Will they atleast take into consideration that he has another child, maybe lowering the amount we have to pay so that I can still take care of my child comfortably? I'm not being selfish I just want to be fairWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

YOU will never have to send money to pay for fiancé's child support obligation. WE do not have to pay anything. It's his problem. Just never put any of your money into a joint account or any assets that have his name on them.

However, think this thing through. If he's not meeting his existing obligations, his problems are not going to go away. Plan on him losing his driver's license, tax returns being seized, bank accounts being confiscated, and so on. He really needs to get caught up (and STAY caught up) on his CS obligations. If that requires a second job, so be it.

Oh, and btw, if he's not supporting his existing kids, what makes you think that you can rely on him for support in the future?

Does his existing child have to eat less because Dad was irresponsible and decided to have another child he can't afford? Obviously, not. Nor are his existing CS obligations likely to change.

 

[CJane]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I was hoping someone could help me. I have been searching months for answers. My fiance and I are having a child in October and he is currently on child support for his 4 year old daughter. My fiance is currently behind on child support but each time he or I have extra cash we send it in.

It's VERY nice of you to help your fiance with his legal obligations when he'd rather ignore them. However, a court order isn't a suggestion, nor is it something to be followed only when one feels like it.

How far in arrears is your fiance?

And, out of curiosity, why would you create a child with a man who has no desire to assist in the support of a previously created child?

My concern now is that I am afraid that I will continue having to send money which I can use for my unborn child if I do not put my fiance on child support.

Good news! You never EVER have to send money to his ex. In fact, I would stop right now and let his deadbeat butt go to jail.

I would rather not because I find it unneccessary to force someone to take care of their child if they dont want to. I also prefer not to waste my time with the legal aspect of it all. I figure if I couldn't afford to have a child alone that's my fault.

So you already have no faith that he'll stick around to offer support. That's probably a realistic view point, so good on you.

Remember though, just because YOU feel that way, doesn't mean the courts do. The second you apply for state assistance, the state will go after him for some sort of support.

Back to my question though, what are our options since I don't want to file for support? Will they atleast take into consideration that he has another child, maybe lowering the amount we have to pay so that I can still take care of my child comfortably?

Subsequent children are rarely considered for lowering support, as a reason in themselves. If you can't take care of your child comfortably on your income alone, then that's on you.

I'm not being selfish I just want to be fairWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Yes. You are. The state considers it to be "fair" to take care of children who were here first, first.

 

[cyjeff]

Okay... posts like this just piss me off to no end.

You KNOW he doesn't pay his present child support... but had a kid with him...

And now you want to figure out a way for him to STOP supporting those other kids because they aren't as important as your NEW kid.

Considering his record, how long before your kid isn't the new kid anymore.

Your kid comes in behind all those other children out there. Like it or not.

Yeah yeah... you said it wasn't about the money but, instead, about being fair... which, of course, means it is all about the money.

Guess you shouldn't have had sex with a guy that already proved he wasn't good at the whole "support my kids" thing.

Nice work. Your child will suffer.

 

[NellieBly]

Whether or not you find it necessary for people to support their own children is really not relevant. Your fiance has to obey any court order that requires him to pay. It's a COURT ORDER, for crying out loud. Do not expect that child's mother and/or a judge to cut him any slack. The judges see deadbeat dads like him every day.

You really aren't a party to this and why you are giving him money, when you, yourself are pregnant, is a good question.

You've already seen what kind of father he is. What makes you think your child is so special? To him, at least.

Here's my advice. If you don't already have your own place, get one. Sue this guy for child support, in the off chance he wins the lottery and don't look back.

I have the feeling you are in for a very, very expensive education.

 

[pmcamp17]

Well contrary to what some of you assume I live very comfortably myself asking no one for help. I pay my bills. I have my own home. I am very capable of taking care of this child with or without him. I said he was behind on child support not that he did not pay it. His child lives with us for months at a time and nothing is asked for from the childs' mother. His daughter goes home with clothing, toys, whatever she asks for we get it. I just find it selfish on her behalf that she does not agree to drop child support because she wants medicare. Apparently it is too expensive although he's agreed to pay for it. I guess its more that I am sick and tired of people in general abusing the system. If she honestly need the states' assistance I could understand. But hey, what the heck we the tax payers' can afford it! Thx for the input! I asked for possible solutions not opinions!

 

[Proserpina]

Well contrary to what some of you assume I live very comfortably myself asking no one for help. I pay my bills. I have my own home. I am very capable of taking care of this child with or without him. I said he was behind on child support not that he did not pay it. His child lives with us for months at a time and nothing is asked for from the childs' mother. His daughter goes home with clothing, toys, whatever she asks for we get it. I just find it selfish on her behalf that she does not agree to drop child support because she wants medicare. Apparently it is too expensive although he's agreed to pay for it. I guess its more that I am sick and tired of people in general abusing the system. If she honestly need the states' assistance I could understand. But hey, what the heck we the tax payers' can afford it! Thx for the input! I asked for possible solutions not opinions!

Sweety, the bolded indicates quite clearly that there was a time where he absolutely was NOT paying his support.

Perhaps if your darling baby daddy paid his support ALL of the time, Mommy wouldn't need help from the State?

Perhaps the tax payers are sick of deadbeats not supporting ALL of their offspring?

 

[LdiJ]

Well contrary to what some of you assume I live very comfortably myself asking no one for help. I pay my bills. I have my own home. I am very capable of taking care of this child with or without him. I said he was behind on child support not that he did not pay it. His child lives with us for months at a time and nothing is asked for from the childs' mother. His daughter goes home with clothing, toys, whatever she asks for we get it. I just find it selfish on her behalf that she does not agree to drop child support because she wants medicare. Apparently it is too expensive although he's agreed to pay for it. I guess its more that I am sick and tired of people in general abusing the system. If she honestly need the states' assistance I could understand. But hey, what the heck we the tax payers' can afford it! Thx for the input! I asked for possible solutions not opinions!

You find it selfish that she does not agree to drop child support? Are you kidding?

 

[CSO286]

Well contrary to what some of you assume I live very comfortably myself asking no one for help. I pay my bills. I have my own home. I am very capable of taking care of this child with or without him. I said he was behind on child support not that he did not pay it. His child lives with us for months at a time and nothing is asked for from the childs' mother. His daughter goes home with clothing, toys, whatever she asks for we get it. I just find it selfish on her behalf that she does not agree to drop child support because she wants medicare. Apparently it is too expensive although he's agreed to pay for it. I guess its more that I am sick and tired of people in general abusing the system. If she honestly need the states' assistance I could understand. But hey, what the heck we the tax payers' can afford it! Thx for the input! I asked for possible solutions not opinions!

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I was hoping someone could help me. I have been searching months for answers. My fiance and I are having a child in October and he is currently on child support for his 4 year old daughter. My fiance is currently behind on child support but each time he or I have extra cash we send it in. My concern now is that I am afraid that I will continue having to send money which I can use for my unborn child if I do not put my fiance on child support.

If you are living so comfortably, then why aren't his arrears paid in full. (Not that you have an obligation to pay his past due support.)

Second, It is not selfish at all to expect an absent parent to contribute finanically to a joint child. It is actually quite responsible of that first child's mother.

Third, if he has arrears, it means that he has not paid his support as ordered all along.

Fourth, you are under no obligation whatsoever to be sending in payments for his support. So, stop. Let the chips fall where they may.

Fifth, if you didn't want to be tied to a man who has to pay child support, ti would have been far easier to go out and find a guy without children, rather than hook up with htis guy and try and find some loophole to get him out of paying. Of course, he has no business at all procreating when he can't even provide for the existing children. (ANd, yes, the fact that he has arrears indicated that he can't.)

 

[mistoffolees]

Fifth, if you didn't want to be tied to a man who has to pay child support, ti would have been far easier to go out and find a guy without children, rather than hook up with htis guy and try and find some loophole to get him out of paying. Of course, he has no business at all procreating when he can't even provide for the existing children. (ANd, yes, the fact that he has arrears indicated that he can't.)

Or WON'T......

 

[CSO286]

Or WON'T......

Exactly---as another very wise senior says:

What he'll do with you, he'll do to you.

Application: If the "new and shiny" has worn off the first child, to the point that he's got you looking for ways for him to not have to pay support, then you can expect the same thing to happen to you and your child when the "new and shiny" wears off you.

 

[Zigner]

Second, It is not selfish at all to expect an absent parent to contribute finanically to a joint child. It is actually quite responsible of that first child's mother.

Personally, I feel it is the parent's obligation to seek the support that the child is entitled to.

 

[CSO286]

Personally, I feel it is the parent's obligation to seek the support that the child is entitled to.

In this case, it sounds as though the mother of the first child did jsut that, or was required to comply with CSED in order to maintain eligibility for medicaid/other public assistance.

I do agree with you, though. If a CP fails to obtain a child support order, he/she has no grounds to whine and moan about the other parent's failure to support...