first posting, need advice

[lorie69]

undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Illinois

I just discovered this site and I'm hoping someone may have some personal experience to share. About 4 years ago my exboyfriend terminated rights to his 2 sons. It was TOO easy for him to do. Unfortunately I hired a bum lawyer who gave me terrible advice -- which was that no matter that neither of my boys even knew the man, and he had a mental and criminal history that was all documented-- the judge would still award him visitation since he was paying a measly $30 a week. There was NO way that i would let my boys be around him with his history of abuse and drug use. So i gave him the option to terminate rights, which he did willingly (he knew he was calling my bluff). Now i've heard it rumored that I may still collect CS even tho his rights are terminated. Does anyone know about this? Another thing I want to question is if anyone knows any laws about Reproductive Rights. My ex has signed away rights to a total of 4 boys now (my 2 were the first) and i recently heard he has yet another one on the way. Do the courts ever force a person to get "fixed" ? He has no right to still be producing children that he has no intention of supporting.

 

[critterperson]

undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Illinois

I just discovered this site and I'm hoping someone may have some personal experience to share. About 4 years ago my exboyfriend terminated rights to his 2 sons. It was TOO easy for him to do. Unfortunately I hired a bum lawyer who gave me terrible advice -- which was that no matter that neither of my boys even knew the man, and he had a mental and criminal history that was all documented-- the judge would still award him visitation since he was paying a measly $30 a week. There was NO way that i would let my boys be around him with his history of abuse and drug use. So i gave him the option to terminate rights, which he did willingly (he knew he was calling my bluff). Now i've heard it rumored that I may still collect CS even tho his rights are terminated. Does anyone know about this? Another thing I want to question is if anyone knows any laws about Reproductive Rights. My ex has signed away rights to a total of 4 boys now (my 2 were the first) and i recently heard he has yet another one on the way. Do the courts ever force a person to get "fixed" ? He has no right to still be producing children that he has no intention of supporting.

As far as the child support I think you may be up the creek without a paddle but I would call an attorney and ask for a free over the phone consultation just to be sure. As far as getting him fixed I heard of a case where the judge ordered the man to have a visectomy or face jail time....I'm not sure if it was overturned or not but I agree with you and the judge...If you don't want to pay for the passel of children that you already have you should be altered (men and women) but I'm sure there is some lawyer out there willing to defend them against getting fixed. They would probably claim that they have a god given right to be a looser. Good Luck

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Child support is over. There is no longer a legal father for the children and therefore, no one to pay child support. That's what a TPR actions does, is sever ALL legal rights and obligations.

As for your other questions, you have no dog in that fight ...in other words, it's none of your business.

 

[somedude]

As far as getting him fixed I heard of a case where the judge ordered the man to have a visectomy or fase jail time....

ANY judge who is stupid enough to order that will face a US Supreme Court challenged. Guaranteed.

Something similar to that happened in Ohio in 2003. A judge ordered a guy to stop having SEX (he had numerous children with women and was unable to support them all). Needless to say, his lawyer challenged that ruling and the Ohio Supreme Court ruled the judge's ruling unconstitutional and had to be resentenced.

 

[stealth2]

Venus - your post was totally beside the point of legal info. Whether this guy should be fathering more kids or not is not in the law's purview. It is, quite frankly, up to the women who decide to have sex with him to make better choices.

 

[Venus05]

Naming everyone with a legal problem/question CRAZY does not help your credibility.

Please stop abusing. For those of us without money to buy a lawyers ear, this site offers hope...

Thank you sweetie..that's what I keep trying to stress, only alot of these people who think they can provide sound legal advice express it in very offensive ways. Yes, they are "ignorant". If you read through the threads, you'll see who is sincere and who is here merely for kicks. Don't take the crudeness to heart..I did at first, but after 3 days of coming here and being nothing but put down attacked, I've realized what kind of people everyone is dealing with here and have found this site to be quite amusing.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Naming everyone with a legal problem/question CRAZY does not help your credibility.

Please stop abusing. For those of us without money to buy a lawyers ear, this site offers hope...

Now you are stalking me, and hijacking threads, that is very typical of a person with mental illness, especially when caught, look at your other thread, https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=217233 I am not the only person who can't understand you, you must communicate in court. You have been accused of being bipolar, can you prove you are not? You are acting that way. Please go to your ocunty mental health center and get help, it will help with your legal problems.

 

[lorie69]

Not a lot of help

I was merely searching for someone to offer some simple advice or personal experience to share. I had heard from an acquantance that it could be possible to keep c.s. after termination of rights, but i guess i will have to seek a real attorneys help with that question. As for my ex's constant 'procreation' ....you may very well be right that it is not my business. I have had no contact with him for 11 years now and it's all part of my past. But i would very strongly assert that it IS my children's business. They do not know the half siblings they already have (although i am informed of them so that when they are all older my boys can seek them out if they wish). My concern is that the longer he keeps going, i will lose track and my sons will have so many siblings they won't ever know about. I don't know about you but that would bother me terribly since family is my #1 priority. And how could anyone who cares anything for the children of our country condone such irresponsilbe behavior?!

 

[VeronicaGia]

undefinedWhat is the name of your state? Illinois

Another thing I want to question is if anyone knows any laws about Reproductive Rights. My ex has signed away rights to a total of 4 boys now (my 2 were the first) and i recently heard he has yet another one on the way. Do the courts ever force a person to get "fixed" ? He has no right to still be producing children that he has no intention of supporting.

If they do this, we all need to petition the courts to force women who collect welfare to get "fixed" too. After all, if they're collecting welfare they're not supporting their kids! In fact, maybe we should start forcing people to prove to a court they can afford kids prior to procreating.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I was merely searching for someone to offer some simple advice or personal experience to share. I had heard from an acquantance that it could be possible to keep c.s. after termination of rights, but i guess i will have to seek a real attorneys help with that question. As for my ex's constant 'procreation' ....you may very well be right that it is not my business. I have had no contact with him for 11 years now and it's all part of my past. But i would very strongly assert that it IS my children's business. They do not know the half siblings they already have (although i am informed of them so that when they are all older my boys can seek them out if they wish). My concern is that the longer he keeps going, i will lose track and my sons will have so many siblings they won't ever know about. I don't know about you but that would bother me terribly since family is my #1 priority. And how could anyone who cares anything for the children of our country condone such irresponsilbe behavior?!

Lady, you return to that 'acquaintance' and you ask them to represent you in court when you try to get child support from your ex who is NOT the child's father and hasn't been since the TPR was signed by a judge.

THEN, you go to the local welfare office and demand that all those women who have four or more babies and are collecting welfare be 'fixed'.

YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, the state and not even the Federal Government has the right, under law, to tell someone they cannot have babies. And just in case your brain is working the way I think it is, NO, chemical castration is a CHOICE given sex offenders instead of incarceration. It is NOT mandated by statute.

Now go visit your all-knowing 'acquaintance'. I gave you the legal answer and it's not my problem if you're too damn dense to know it.

 

[LdiJ]

I was merely searching for someone to offer some simple advice or personal experience to share. I had heard from an acquantance that it could be possible to keep c.s. after termination of rights, but i guess i will have to seek a real attorneys help with that question. As for my ex's constant 'procreation' ....you may very well be right that it is not my business. I have had no contact with him for 11 years now and it's all part of my past. But i would very strongly assert that it IS my children's business. They do not know the half siblings they already have (although i am informed of them so that when they are all older my boys can seek them out if they wish). My concern is that the longer he keeps going, i will lose track and my sons will have so many siblings they won't ever know about. I don't know about you but that would bother me terribly since family is my #1 priority. And how could anyone who cares anything for the children of our country condone such irresponsilbe behavior?!

I understand your concerns regarding possible siblings out there of which your children may be unaware...however everybody else is correct. A judge could not attempt something like that without seriously violating his constitutional rights. Judges have attempted things like that in the past, and have been seriously shot down on appeal.

You can check with a local attorney regarding the CS issue. However honestly I don't believe that you have any chance if his parental rights were terminated. In any case, do you really believe that you could actually COLLECT, even if you somehow could get a CS order?

 

[lorie69]

To BB- no doubt you are a man and a bitter one at that. You offer no sound advice and are not useful to anyone on this site. As for all the comments on 'welfare' moms, even though i am not and have never been one (i've always worked a steady full time job - self supporting) I know many who are. I know many moms on welfare who would not need welfare if the MEN WOULD BE RESPONSILBE AND SUPPORT THE CHILDREN THEY PRODUCE !!

 

[Venus05]

Yikes!

Lady, you return to that 'acquaintance' and you ask them to represent you in court when you try to get child support from your ex who is NOT the child's father and hasn't been since the TPR was signed by a judge.

THEN, you go to the local welfare office and demand that all those women who have four or more babies and are collecting welfare be 'fixed'.

YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, the state and not even the Federal Government has the right, under law, to tell someone they cannot have babies. And just in case your brain is working the way I think it is, NO, chemical castration is a CHOICE given sex offenders instead of incarceration. It is NOT mandated by statute.

Now go visit your all-knowing 'acquaintance'. I gave you the legal answer and it's not my problem if you're too damn dense to know it.

Holy Sh-- Shinoli!!!!
Can you imagine????
THEN, you go to the local welfare office and demand that all those women who have four or more babies and are collecting welfare be 'fixed'.
Just march right in that office front and center and say "That's it and I've had enough with my husband's babies with all these other sleezebags" "Either make those women have their tubes tied or complete hysterectomies or I'll blow all of your heads off"!!!! "My kids need all the money they can get from their father who I haven't seen in 11 years and to hell with any other woman's child concieved from their father"!!!! Yowwzza and Aye Aye Aye!!! I think we just need to put a halt to all the illegal aliens crossing the border.

Lorie, in all seriousness, there are so many people out their who think the term "reproduction" is just something they learned in science class in the fifth grade. The sad part for many is that they never learned the responsibility that goes along with it. Please let go and try and find peace within yourself and your two boys. If their father wants 20 kids, so be it. If he doesn't take care of any of them, sooner or later he will be forced by the law to take care of them or his life will end in jail. Let it go sweetie...

 

[USMOM]

I want to reply to the person who suggested that all women on welfare get fixed. I don't see how such over-generalized statements are helpful. For you information I receive food stamps and medical cards for my children. I was married to a man for eleven years. A few years ago we made an agreement to return to the states. I went first with the children. He hired an attorney there and kept all of our assets and is only required to pay $100 per month in child support for each child (child support falls under Dutch law). I am currently appealing to the Kansas courts because it should be under American law and he earns about $60,000 per year. I could not earn enough to support my children alone so I worked very hard to get into grad school. In 3 1/2 years I will have a Ph.D. in community psychology and will be able to support my children. I will not complain about taxes because I will only be returning the gift of support given to me. My children are bright and caring individuals. They go to a Catholic school which has very high standards and they are both doing very well. We all three volunteer time and energy for our church and our community. My daughter was just chosen to represent her class in the spelling bee and wants to become a vet. I work, go to school, and take care of my children. While my ex is on his second girlfriend, I chosen not to date until I have acheived my goal. I understand that this story is quite long, but it may help you to understand that such statements reach people like me who honestly are doing the best they can. I will give you that there are men and women who abuse the system. I never thought that I would be in this situation, but now that I am, I am grateful for our system and those taxpayers who support it. I am also grateful because I know when it is my turn to pay the taxes, I will feel good about at least where part of it is going. Please be a little kinder. We come to this place to feel support not degradation.

 

[nextwife]

In fact, maybe we should start forcing people to prove to a court they can afford kids

I DID have to prove that before I was allowed to become MOM to my daughter.