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forfeiting parental rights?

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Vindicated

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am a non-custodial parent, and even though I supposedly have joint-custody, my ex makes sure to NOT include me in any decision-making, but then foots me with bills months after she makes whatever type of decision she wants, and even though it specifically stipulates in our divorce agreement that she must give me a min. of 5 days advance notice (barring exigent circumstances) of any medical/educational/major life decisions. She has never complied and resorts to extortion to get me to pay the bills.

People tell me to take her to court, but I've yet to find a way to get affordable, good legal counsel, while and my ex can afford powerful attorneys; so I'm left with HUGE bills and no justice. Plus, as I'm still paying my divorce atty fees, I can't really pay for another atty to take her to court.

And, frankly, I've gone above and beyond as a father and find that whenever I try to maket things more fair and for us to SHARE the expenses (she makes MORE than I do and has fewer expenses but I'm stuck paying the medical expenses and child support far beyond 25% of my income for 2 kids!), because there are so many deadbeat dads, the courts seem to favor mothers unless they have a serious drug problem that can be proven (My ex is an alcoholic, but she only gets drunk at home so no DWIs).

Anyway, I am to the point where I would give up all parental rights (since I have NONE de facto anyway), if it meant that I didn't have to pay for everything. Is this an option?

Note: My kids are teenagers, so they'd come see me anyway on their own accord no matter what the court documents stated, and I'd much rather give them money directly to help pay for college than foot their mother's drinking problem.

Kindly advise.
 


What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am a non-custodial parent, and even though I supposedly have joint-custody, my ex makes sure to NOT include me in any decision-making, but then foots me with bills months after she makes whatever type of decision she wants, and even though it specifically stipulates in our divorce agreement that she must give me a min. of 5 days advance notice (barring exigent circumstances) of any medical/educational/major life decisions. She has never complied and resorts to extortion to get me to pay the bills.

People tell me to take her to court, but I've yet to find a way to get affordable, good legal counsel, while and my ex can afford powerful attorneys; so I'm left with HUGE bills and no justice. Plus, as I'm still paying my divorce atty fees, I can't really pay for another atty to take her to court.

And, frankly, I've gone above and beyond as a father and find that whenever I try to maket things more fair and for us to SHARE the expenses (she makes MORE than I do and has fewer expenses but I'm stuck paying the medical expenses and child support far beyond 25% of my income for 2 kids!), because there are so many deadbeat dads, the courts seem to favor mothers unless they have a serious drug problem that can be proven (My ex is an alcoholic, but she only gets drunk at home so no DWIs).

Anyway, I am to the point where I would give up all parental rights (since I have NONE de facto anyway), if it meant that I didn't have to pay for everything. Is this an option?

Note: My kids are teenagers, so they'd come see me anyway on their own accord no matter what the court documents stated, and I'd much rather give them money directly to help pay for college than foot their mother's drinking problem.

Kindly advise.

Not gonna happen.
 

Gracie3787

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

I am a non-custodial parent, and even though I supposedly have joint-custody, my ex makes sure to NOT include me in any decision-making, but then foots me with bills months after she makes whatever type of decision she wants, and even though it specifically stipulates in our divorce agreement that she must give me a min. of 5 days advance notice (barring exigent circumstances) of any medical/educational/major life decisions. She has never complied and resorts to extortion to get me to pay the bills.

People tell me to take her to court, but I've yet to find a way to get affordable, good legal counsel, while and my ex can afford powerful attorneys; so I'm left with HUGE bills and no justice. Plus, as I'm still paying my divorce atty fees, I can't really pay for another atty to take her to court.

And, frankly, I've gone above and beyond as a father and find that whenever I try to maket things more fair and for us to SHARE the expenses (she makes MORE than I do and has fewer expenses but I'm stuck paying the medical expenses and child support far beyond 25% of my income for 2 kids!), because there are so many deadbeat dads, the courts seem to favor mothers unless they have a serious drug problem that can be proven (My ex is an alcoholic, but she only gets drunk at home so no DWIs).

Anyway, I am to the point where I would give up all parental rights (since I have NONE de facto anyway), if it meant that I didn't have to pay for everything. Is this an option?

Note: My kids are teenagers, so they'd come see me anyway on their own accord no matter what the court documents stated, and I'd much rather give them money directly to help pay for college than foot their mother's drinking problem.

Kindly advise.
Relinquishing parental rights is NOT an option.

Filing in court to enforce the order IS an option. You do not need to hire an attorney. Locate the forms to fill out (ask your court clerk's office where they can be found). You'll need a copy of your court order, read up on the court rules and laws (can be Googled) then file pro-se.
 

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