Fraud

[Outsideblitz45]

I live in PA. I've been paying support to a women who has been playing me for years. I got mixed up with this girl about 17 years ago. This girl ended up having a child that is mine. She moved away many years ago and basically wanted me to have nothing to do with him other then for me to pay her support. Well recently I found out this girl hasn't done so well for herself over the years and ended up being a drug addicted loser. She's been in and out of jail for selling dugs among other things. Well I just found out that 4 years ago she allowed some lady to take him in as her own and raise him because she couldn't stay out of jail. God bless this lady she is a saint and my son is not the only kid she has taken in to raise as her own. This lady who has my son has never come after me for support. So this girl I had this child with has been collecting support for 4 years and hasn't had this kid at all some other lady has been raising him on her own good will. This girl.would call me for extra money all the time and I'd send whatever she needed for him. she wasn't giving him a dime just feeding her drug habits. All the birthday cards Xmas cards full of money he probably never seen a dime of it. Now I'm mad as hell she never wanted me to have anything to do with him because she said she wanted her boyfriend to raise him as their son to find out there was never a steady father figure in his life and she's taken me for ten of thousands of dollars. I'm still paying she has no clue yet I know and now I'm not sure what I should or could do. Any advice would be greatful. And yes there is a ton of proof this has happen.

 

[justalayman]

Since you were not an active participant in the child's Life you suffered the consequences. If you are not court ordered to pay support you can stop sending support payments. The mother can attempt to seek an order of support and you can defend it by showing the facts of the situation. You should be sending the caretaker the support though as she is taking care of your child. Whether she asks you for it or not you should be sending her something.

Given the child's age and your complete lack of involvement with the child it would not be in the best interest of the child to try to upset the apple cart at this point by trying to insert yourself into the child's life as the primary care giver. I would suggest if the mother attempts to seek the courts aid here it may be in the best interest of the child you actually fight to allow the child to remain with the care giver he lives with now.

If there is a court ordered support payment required, you need to continue to make those payments until a court says otherwise. With the knowledge you have you can seek to terminate the order though. Whether the mother will attempt to reassert her custody rights or not is not something I cannot know. If she does it may cause issues for the child. It may be in the child's best interest to just ride this out until the child reaches the age of majority.

 

[Outsideblitz45]

?

You don't think I should go after her for reimbursement and then maybe give his caretaker or him the monies recovered if possible?

 

[Mass_Shyster]

You don't think I should go after her for reimbursement and then maybe give his caretaker or him the monies recovered if possible?

If she spends all her money on drugs, there's really no way she can reimburse you.

 

[justalayman]

You don't think I should go after her for reimbursement and then maybe give his caretaker or him the monies recovered if possible?

You sat on your... Um... Hands for 17 years and didn't pay enough attention to the child to really know anything that was going on. It was your failure to exert your rights that allowed for this to happen. You won't get any sympathy from a court due to your lax attitude about your child for all those years and vilify the mother now upon your discovery.


you have not been a dad for 17 years. You aren't going to be the white Knight in shining armor bringing salvation to the child. For all practical purposes you stopped being the father many years ago when you abandoned your child parental relationship with the child.

If you want to aid the child, send them some money. If you want to help the care giver; send them some money. You aren't going to make up for your lack of parenting no matter what you do now.

 

[stealth2]

You don't think I should go after her for reimbursement and then maybe give his caretaker or him the monies recovered if possible?

Honestly? You have only yourself to blame for being uninvolved.

 

[Outsideblitz45]

Hmm

Well regardless there are a thousand reasons why I was kept away. And I am pissed for that reason. I could go on and on. I thought I was doing the right thing and abiding by her wishes. I'm not trying to be a knight in shining armor. But for all the lies and BS she has pulled on me I feel I need to strike back I'm human. But thanks for the lecture I mean advice it was greatly appreciated.

 

[justalayman]

The only reason you were kept away was because you didn't want to assert your rights. Beyond that it is obvious you didn't even watch the child from afar. You simply refused to do anything a father would but now you're upset at the mother.

Not only do you have no moral standing to change the status quo, legally you would fail as well. When one fails to assert a right or claim within a reasonable time they lose any rights to the claim or right.

On top of anything else, this has nothing to do with the child. You apparently still care nothing about the child but want to lash out at the mother.

Maybe it's time you simply move on with your life.

 

[stealth2]

Well regardless there are a thousand reasons why I was kept away. And I am pissed for that reason. I could go on and on. I thought I was doing the right thing and abiding by her wishes. I'm not trying to be a knight in shining armor. But for all the lies and BS she has pulled on me I feel I need to strike back I'm human. But thanks for the lecture I mean advice it was greatly appreciated.

Darn. If I'd known you'd take one sentence as a lecture, I'd have done better. Really - what did YOU do to be involved in your child's life? Not what she did to keep you away - what did YOU do to be there? Oh yeah - squat. So quit whining. Four years you haven't apparently even known where your son lived. <spit> Pathetic.