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Freakin' Frustrated

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kimberlywrites

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Texas
I am trying to divorce as amicably as possible. All our assets are divvied up, no problem. It's the child support thing chewing me up inside. My STBX and I have been separated for a year. We have been doing a 50-50 physical custody split with our two kiddos. It's working well for all involved as we live close enough to each other, and can suck it up enough to host birthday parties and go to school events.
STBX makes $25,000 more a year than me. But he feels he shouldn't have to pay any child support and that we split the kids expenses 50-50, right down to cafeteria lunch accounts and haircuts and after-school care costs.
I make enough to support me and the kids and our expenses during their weeks with me, but nothing is left over. STBX is crazy about hanging on to his money and worries I will live like a queen off his child support payments. (FYI, I initiated the divorce.) I know him, and he will be more willing to pay for things like vehicles and college when the time comes - but not if he's "forced" to by law.
My lawyer is willing to draw up the decree with my wishes agreeing to no child support, but she figures a judge will have some concerns due to income discrepancy. STBX won't listen to me or to a lawyer. Does a judge ever take what parents have agreed to and say HECK NO based on what he sees in the papers?
 


rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
You already asked these questions earlier today. If you make it 51/49 it is easier to do, including the child support, get it ordered now and don't expect him to do more later, that child support will help more now than the promise of a car or college later which will not come through unless it is in a court order. Don't be used.
 

kimberlywrites

Senior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
You already asked these questions earlier today. If you make it 51/49 it is easier to do, including the child support, get it ordered now and don't expect him to do more later, that child support will help more now than the promise of a car or college later which will not come through unless it is in a court order. Don't be used.
There is no way in hell he will go for 51-49 unless it is 51 in his favor.
 

kimberlywrites

Senior Member
He's mad because I am the one wanting to end the marriage. He thinks since that is the case, it's only fair he gets the primary custodial title parent. Plus he thinks that will also ensure I can't ever get child support, even with 50 percent physical custody arrangement.
I was a stay home mom for four years, and now I work from home. He'd have a pretty hard time trying to smear me. I wonder what a judge would think if someone stood in front of him/her and wanted to talk about morality instead of legalities.
 

GrowUp!

Senior Member
kimberlywrites said:
I was a stay home mom for four years, and now I work from home. He'd have a pretty hard time trying to smear me. I wonder what a judge would think if someone stood in front of him/her and wanted to talk about morality instead of legalities.
The Judge won't listen to it as there's no place for that in Court. If he wants to go up and bash you in court, let him. It's his hole he's digging. Tell him to sell his story to "Divorce Court".
 

kimberlywrites

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
why has no one bothered to ask how old the child is?
My son is 5 and my daughter is 7.
Since I work from home, they require no before/after school care when they are with me. I'm fortunate to have a flexible schedule and still make enough to support us without stbx.
 
GrowUp! said:
The Judge won't listen to it as there's no place for that in Court. If he wants to go up and bash you in court, let him. It's his hole he's digging. Tell him to sell his story to "Divorce Court".
I agree, and by him bashing you in court the Judge will not think that he is a better parent than you.
Go for the child support, he has no say in it if the court says so. Why would you give up child support, his future promises are worthless, take it from one who knows, unless you have it writing.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Here is a link to the SOP, if you go this route your attorney and you will have less problems, let him whine and cry all he wants, if you are a fit parent, you will have just as much right to your children as he, but you need the court orders to end the intimidation. If he is fighting you this much already there in no way a 50/50 split will work, nor will he keep any future promises that are not court ordered. It is only a means to control you after your divorce. Remember once you are divorced, you have to wait 6 months before you can remarry and expect him to whine and cry then as well. If and or when you get in another reltaionship, don't repeat your mistake of hooking up with another control freak.
Texas Standard Order of Possession http://www.raggiolaw.com/stanposs.html TEXAS FAMILY CODE, SECTIONS 153.311 THROUGH 153.317
 
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BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
kimberlywrites said:
My son is 5 and my daughter is 7.
Since I work from home, they require no before/after school care when they are with me. I'm fortunate to have a flexible schedule and still make enough to support us without stbx.
Then your solution is easy based on what you posted and Texas Statute Section 153.317.

In Texas, the parents may agree to all aspects of support / visitation and custody in the parenting plan and even to the point of deviation from the statutes. If the judge accepts such, it is entered into the final decree by reference and has the same force and effect as a ruling from the court.

It cannot, however, be controlled as a contract between the parties

What that means is if either of you violate the agreement, it is treated as a family court matter and not a contract matter.

Therefore, based on your situation, I would suggest you discuss with your attorney a parenting plan as exists between the two of you now with one exception:

"Non-custodial parent shall be responsible for all post-secondary costs for each minor child and agrees to the court retaining jurisdiction over this agreement until such time as the minor children complete post-secondary education or the age of 21, whichever comes first."
or something similar
 
rmet4nzkx said:
Here is a link to the SOP, if you go this route your attorney and you will have less problems, let him whine and cry all he wants, if you are a fit parent, you will have just as much right to your children as he, but you need the court orders to end the intimidation. If he is fighting you this much already there in no way a 50/50 split will work, nor will he keep any future promises that are not court ordered. It is only a means to control you after your divorce. Remember once you are divorced, you have to wait 6 months before you can remarry and expect him to whine and cry then as well. If and or when you get in another reltaionship, don't repeat your mistake of hooking up with another control freak.
Texas Standard Order of Possession http://www.raggiolaw.com/stanposs.html
I've been divorced almost 7 years, and mine still whines and cries, and he lives with his GF and he is beyond the child support, kids are older, 25 and 19.
 
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