Frustrated in FL

[interestofchild]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Divorced in 2006
Child Support: $1400/month for 2 children
I have a consultant business. Lost clients in 2008 due to economy, more in 2009 and still more this year. I have lived off my 401K in desperate times.
Ex gets laid off in March 2011. From the time of divorce to lay-off, he had a $30,000 or 55% increase in income. After lay-off, from a union, he wants to reduce support by $1000/ month AND HE GOT IT!!
In 2008 and 2010, I took him back to get him to pay half of kids unpaid medical and half of extracurricular (these were never worked out in our final judgment). He refused in mediation both times. I was pro se, he had an attorney.
During hearing on reduction, he told the Magistrate that he couldn't get other work because he is in a union and didn't want to lose standing or benefits. I showed that he would lose neither. He lives with his girlfriend and her 2 kids. She doesn't work so he is supporting them. He's borrowing from his mother and told the Magistrate that he needed a reduction to pay her back!!
He got his reduction even though I showed that it would not be in the best interests of the children. Also, he does not have visitation with the kids. They are 16 and 15 and have chosen not to visit with him. The Magistrate imputed his income to minimum wage.
My choices are to file a Motion to Vacate or try to Modify later.
I am now on the verge of foreclosure.
What is my best case? Vacate or Modify?
Thanks for your time.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Zigner]

On what grounds do you feel you have a basis to appeal?

You should never rely on CS as your soul (or primary) means of support.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

Divorced in 2006
Child Support: $1400/month for 2 children
I have a consultant business. Lost clients in 2008 due to economy, more in 2009 and still more this year. I have lived off my 401K in desperate times.
Ex gets laid off in March 2011. From the time of divorce to lay-off, he had a $30,000 or 55% increase in income. After lay-off, from a union, he wants to reduce support by $1000/ month AND HE GOT IT!!
In 2008 and 2010, I took him back to get him to pay half of kids unpaid medical and half of extracurricular (these were never worked out in our final judgment). He refused in mediation both times. I was pro se, he had an attorney.
During hearing on reduction, he told the Magistrate that he couldn't get other work because he is in a union and didn't want to lose standing or benefits. I showed that he would lose neither. He lives with his girlfriend and her 2 kids. She doesn't work so he is supporting them. He's borrowing from his mother and told the Magistrate that he needed a reduction to pay her back!!
He got his reduction even though I showed that it would not be in the best interests of the children. Also, he does not have visitation with the kids. They are 16 and 15 and have chosen not to visit with him. The Magistrate imputed his income to minimum wage.
My choices are to file a Motion to Vacate or try to Modify later.
I am now on the verge of foreclosure.
What is my best case? Vacate or Modify?
Thanks for your time.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Extracurricular expenses are supposed to be paid out of child support. NOT an addition to child support. How did you show he would lose neither standing or benefits? Who testified to that fact that you allege? Did you subpoena a union officer who deals with standing and benefits or did YOU print off internet information and testify to it yourself? You need to get another job is child support changes are causing a foreclosure. He doesn't have to support you. YOU chose your career. If you have lost that many clients, time to take a second job. How many hours a week do you work for your clients?

 

[Ohiogal]

On what grounds do you feel you have a basis to appeal?

You should never rely on CS as your soul (or primary) means of support.

Psst... it should be sole (or primary)... if CS is her soul support, she needs a new religion. Though Greed is good allegedly.

 

[StayGravity]

Child support is supposed to be for the benefit of the child. If you are loosing your home to foreclosure, it is because you have too much house and were expecting the Child Support to help pay for it.

If you were receiving 1400 per month in child support, were you really spending 700 dollars a month per child. I know its expensive to feed them and clothe them But I think for 1400 you could buy food for them, a pair of shoes for each child, several pairs of clothes, and still have plenty left over per month. Then you could use the remaining to pay part of the mortgage and utilities. I am just curious, what did you pay for?

 

[LdiJ]

Child support is supposed to be for the benefit of the child. If you are loosing your home to foreclosure, it is because you have too much house and were expecting the Child Support to help pay for it.

If you were receiving 1400 per month in child support, were you really spending 700 dollars a month per child. I know its expensive to feed them and clothe them But I think for 1400 you could buy food for them, a pair of shoes for each child, several pairs of clothes, and still have plenty left over per month. Then you could use the remaining to pay part of the mortgage and utilities. I am just curious, what did you pay for?

You do realize that child support covers ALL costs in raising children...not just the children's direct expenses? Food, housing, clothing, sundries, utilities, transportation, school expenses etc., etc., etc?

 

[StayGravity]

You do realize that child support covers ALL costs in raising children...not just the children's direct expenses? Food, housing, clothing, sundries, utilities, transportation, school expenses etc., etc., etc?

I do understand that. I do however think that the receiving parent uses it to increase their own lifestyle. You should never make decisions on the house or car you buy based on the amount of child support you receive.

She is having her house foreclosed on because she expected the 1400 dollar a month child support to be there. When it changed she could not afford the house anymore. What was she going to do when they turned 18 and child support stopped? Asked for it to be continued till she paid off the house?

The thing I find interesting is they never subtract the amount from child support for you to provide a house when they are visiting you, but the Custodial parent will use it against you, if you don't have a bedroom for the child.

Child support is all one sided, and doesn't count into what the child needs, but rather what the custodial parent expects.

If I get custody of my child, I only want her to buy him clothes, shoes, and things he needs and ensure he has the things he needs when he goes to visit to include a roof over his head and food in his mouth. I will provide the things he needs when he is with me regardless of what she buys.

 

[CSO286]

Child support is supposed to be for the benefit of the child. If you are loosing your home to foreclosure, it is because you have too much house and were expecting the Child Support to help pay for it.

If you were receiving 1400 per month in child support, were you really spending 700 dollars a month per child. I know its expensive to feed them and clothe them But I think for 1400 you could buy food for them, a pair of shoes for each child, several pairs of clothes, and still have plenty left over per month. Then you could use the remaining to pay part of the mortgage and utilities. I am just curious, what did you pay for?

You know, when LittleCSO was a toddler, I spent $500 alone simply on childcare. Not food, clothing, housing, heat, transportaion, medical expenses, etc.... I thought as she got got older, "Just wiat til she's in school, it'll get easier." Yeah, not so much. The child support I recieve doesn't come close to paying "her share" of our family expenses.

 

[LdiJ]

I do understand that. I do however think that the receiving parent uses it to increase their own lifestyle. You should never make decisions on the house or car you buy based on the amount of child support you receive.

She is having her house foreclosed on because she expected the 1400 dollar a month child support to be there. When it changed she could not afford the house anymore. What was she going to do when they turned 18 and child support stopped? Asked for it to be continued till she paid off the house?

The thing I find interesting is they never subtract the amount from child support for you to provide a house when they are visiting you, but the Custodial parent will use it against you, if you don't have a bedroom for the child.

Child support is all one sided, and doesn't count into what the child needs, but rather what the custodial parent expects.

If I get custody of my child, I only want her to buy him clothes, shoes, and things he needs and ensure he has the things he needs when he goes to visit to include a roof over his head and food in his mouth. I will provide the things he needs when he is with me regardless of what she buys.

I agree that someone should not take child support into consideration when deciding how much house to buy, because it doesn't last forever and because you cannot be guaranteed that the other parent will pay.

However child support does NOT take into consideration what the custodial parent expects. It goes by state guidelines based on what the state has determined is needed to provide a fair share of the cost of raising a child.

 

[CSO286]

I do understand that. I do however think that the receiving parent uses it to increase their own lifestyle. You should never make decisions on the house or car you buy based on the amount of child support you receive.

She is having her house foreclosed on because she expected the 1400 dollar a month child support to be there. When it changed she could not afford the house anymore. What was she going to do when they turned 18 and child support stopped? Asked for it to be continued till she paid off the house?

The thing I find interesting is they never subtract the amount from child support for you to provide a house when they are visiting you, but the Custodial parent will use it against you, if you don't have a bedroom for the child.

Child support is all one sided, and doesn't count into what the child needs, but rather what the custodial parent expects.

If I get custody of my child, I only want her to buy him clothes, shoes, and things he needs and ensure he has the things he needs when he goes to visit to include a roof over his head and food in his mouth. I will provide the things he needs when he is with me regardless of what she buys.

You know what? At my house, child support is mad money. Because I use the income from my work to pay for all of our needs--school transportaion, sports fees, cltohing, food, shelter, heat, etc.....

And because I meet all of our needs with "my" money, when (if) those funds come in, it sometimes buys LittleCSO something nice, maybe gets her a haircut and her nails done, it sometimes pays for a Mother/Daughter date night, or it sometimes buys ME something nice or pays for a margarita lunch for me and a couple of girlfriends....

I really don't think you understand child support yet.

 

[Zigner]

Psst... it should be sole (or primary)... if CS is her soul support, she needs a new religion. Though Greed is good allegedly.

Wow...just wow.

I can't believe I did that. That's like saying "Your a nice person" -

I'll go sit in the corner with the dunce cap on now

 

[StayGravity]

I really don't think you understand child support yet.

Since obviously I am too obtuse to understand child support, please break it down for me.

 

[LdiJ]

Since obviously I am too obtuse to understand child support, please break it down for me.

Child support REIMBURSES the custodial parent for a fair portion of the money the custodial parent has already spent raising the child.

Child support is determined by state guideline, not by what the custodial parent expects.

You really have no idea how much it costs to raise a child.

 

[CSO286]

Since obviously I am too obtuse to understand child support, please break it down for me.

I did not call you obtuse. I just don't think you have a full handle on how child suport works yet.

In any event, I'll attempt to break it down a bit, based on one of your previous posts.

I do understand that. I do however think that the receiving parent uses it to increase their own lifestyle. You should never make decisions on the house or car you buy based on the amount of child support you receive.

We say this to custodial parents ALL THE TIME.


And this is why lenders don't require borrowers to list income from child support or spousal maintainance on their loan applications. If the borrower wants to include it, they often need to provide a three year payemnt history (or more) and copies of the order that indicate that that amount will most likely continue for X number of years.

She is having her house foreclosed on because she expected the 1400 dollar a month child support to be there. When it changed she could not afford the house anymore. What was she going to do when they turned 18 and child support stopped? Asked for it to be continued till she paid off the house?

She made poor choices. I am not denying that.

The thing I find interesting is they never subtract the amount from child support for you to provide a house when they are visiting you, but the Custodial parent will use it against you, if you don't have a bedroom for the child.

And the courts generally ignore this complaint.

Child support is all one sided, and doesn't count into what the child needs, but rather what the custodial parent expects.

This is incorrect. State guidelines (depending on the state) either indicate the support obligation is to be based on a flat percentage of the NCP's income or they use the income shares model, which takes into account the income of both parents. Many states also give credit in the form of a support reduction depending on the amount of time the children spend with the NCP.

If I get custody of my child, I only want her to buy him clothes, shoes, and things he needs and ensure he has the things he needs when he goes to visit to include a roof over his head and food in his mouth. I will provide the things he needs when he is with me regardless of what she buys.

So, if you obtain primary custody and have your child more than 50% of the time, you don't believe the other parent should be obligated to pay any support at all?

 

[StayGravity]

Child support REIMBURSES the custodial parent for a fair portion of the money the custodial parent has already spent raising the child.

Child support is determined by state guideline, not by what the custodial parent expects.

You really have no idea how much it costs to raise a child.

LOL.

I believe none of you understood what I meant by what the custodial parent expects. The custodial parent expects the government (who obviously is perfect in understanding what fair "Share" or "Portion" means) to make that decision based of what the the combined income is.

If you want to break it down like this. If I have a child with someone and later I get divorced. Now I pay child support that includes utilities, food, shelter, clothes, day care, school, Sports, ETC.... while at the custodial parents home. But then I also have to have a home that is suitable for the child to live in during visitations, and periods when general custody is granted. But the cost of providing the room for the child, food, utilities, sports, camps, ETC.... isn't subtracted.


Please break it down for me, cause I just don't understand. (according to you)