Frustrated with this situation.

[bbqpops]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nebraska

I am the father and non custodial parent of a son whom has recently graduated, and is currently engaged in training for the Army National Guard. My son left his mother's home in late May of 2011 and will return two weeks prior to his 19th birthday.

His mother and I have always had a good relationship and made sure we worked together for his good. Her inclusion of me even for his everyday upbringing and rearing has been excellent in the past.

However, some events have come to light that me son was reluctant to share with me before, because he didn't want to worry me.

The mother's husband told my son that he couldn't live in that home because of their relationship. My son's furniture was sold, and his clothing and personal belongings are with me, via my son's girlfriend. The family (brother, sister in law and children) are now occupying my son's room. My son has recieved nothing that I would consider support from his mother while he has been gone. One care package with pictures and doo-dads. He has not been forwarded, or given by savings account any of the support money I have been sending. The support money has simply vanished without any benefit to my son. There is also money missing from his account, that only his mother has access to besides him.

I am very concerned that the money has been pilfered, and the support used for running the household while my son is out.

I have asked the mom if she is using the money for her living, or if the money was being used for my son, and she admitted that the support money is being used to pay the household bills. She told me that the support money I have been sending is hers, and could be used as she pleased, and was uncharacteristically very nasty towards me.

If, in fact, the support is not being used for my son, or being set aside for him, what action can I take? I never wanted to place her in a hardship in any way, but now,I feel I have no recourse but to get an attorney and make her accountable for all of this.

What can I do, and what is the probability of having any success for my son's best interests?

Thank you all for your advice.

 

[Silverplum]

You should file to have CS terminated: he's in the military. Even if he wasn't, it should end in your state at the age of 19.

Until then, Mom can spend the CS money however she sees fit. However she wishes. Any way she wants. No "accountability" required.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nebraska

I am the father and non custodial parent of a son whom has recently graduated, and is currently engaged in training for the Army National Guard. My son left his mother's home in late May of 2011 and will return two weeks prior to his 19th birthday.

His mother and I have always had a good relationship and made sure we worked together for his good. Her inclusion of me even for his everyday upbringing and rearing has been excellent in the past.

However, some events have come to light that me son was reluctant to share with me before, because he didn't want to worry me.

The mother's husband told my son that he couldn't live in that home because of their relationship. My son's furniture was sold, and his clothing and personal belongings are with me, via my son's girlfriend. The family (brother, sister in law and children) are now occupying my son's room. My son has recieved nothing that I would consider support from his mother while he has been gone. One care package with pictures and doo-dads. He has not been forwarded, or given by savings account any of the support money I have been sending. The support money has simply vanished without any benefit to my son. There is also money missing from his account, that only his mother has access to besides him.

I am very concerned that the money has been pilfered, and the support used for running the household while my son is out.

I have asked the mom if she is using the money for her living, or if the money was being used for my son, and she admitted that the support money is being used to pay the household bills. She told me that the support money I have been sending is hers, and could be used as she pleased, and was uncharacteristically very nasty towards me.

If, in fact, the support is not being used for my son, or being set aside for him, what action can I take? I never wanted to place her in a hardship in any way, but now,I feel I have no recourse but to get an attorney and make her accountable for all of this.

What can I do, and what is the probability of having any success for my son's best interests?

Thank you all for your advice.

 

[bbqpops]

I had thought of that, but was concerned about his status of being eligible for support with his return before his 19th birthday. He is planning to come and live with me, my wife, and his younger siblings when he gets back. Just really disappointed that this could happen. I was blindsided.

Thanks for your help.

 

[Silverplum]

I had thought of that, but was concerned about his status of being eligible for support with his return before his 19th birthday.

The minute he left for military service, he was no longer a "child" in need of support. You can file today, tomorrow. Make sure you do file, or you could be charged with ongoing support. When you receive the signed court order, your payments may stop.

He is planning to come and live with me, my wife, and his younger siblings when he gets back. Just really disappointed that this could happen. I was blindsided.

Thanks for your help.

You're welcome.

 

[bbqpops]

Did more research

According to this document (http://www.supremecourt.ne.gov/forms/district/DC-6-2.pdf)

I can only terminate CS due to age, death, or emancipation by court order. Nothing due to his military service.

I just want to make sure I do this right. I can't afford to pay a bunch of fees, and get nowhere.

Just wondering if this is worth pursuing over $1500 for the next three months of support. Seems like I could get there quick in fees.

Not second guessing you all, but just looking for reassurement.

 

[Silverplum]

According to this document (http://www.supremecourt.ne.gov/forms/district/DC-6-2.pdf)

I can only terminate CS due to age, death, or emancipation by court order. Nothing due to his military service.

I just want to make sure I do this right. I can't afford to pay a bunch of fees, and get nowhere.

Just wondering if this is worth pursuing over $1500 for the next three months of support. Seems like I could get there quick in fees.

Not second guessing you all, but just looking for reassurement.

No offense taken -- I'm really glad you did some research for yourself!

I'm also embarrassed that I have perhaps led you wrongly -- I've never heard of CS continuing for a "child" in the MILITARY. I don't know if you live in Sarpy County (and you don't have to say so), but I found a SUSPENSION of CS form for that county here:
http://www.sarpy.com/childsupport/documents/Affidavit-OrderSuspendCS-ChildinMilitary09-11.pdf

There should be something for your county -- CS is a state-controlled law, not county. So if Sarpy County can suspend CS while your son is in the military, so can any other NE county.

 

[Proserpina]

Is NG considered full time military?

I have a feeling NG and Reserves may not actually count for the purposes of child support stopping...

 

[Silverplum]

Is NG considered full time military?

I have a feeling NG and Reserves may not actually count for the purposes of child support stopping...

IMO, military is military.

He's not at home with his Mama. She's not feeding, housing, clothing, insuring, or doctoring him even one little wee bit.

But this thread has been edifying.

 

[Proserpina]

IMO, military is military.

He's not at home with his Mama. She's not feeding, housing, clothing, insuring, or doctoring him even one little wee bit.

But this thread has been edifying.

I share the same opinion - but in some jurisdictions child support might still be owed unless the child is active duty (Georgia, for example: Child Support Laws: Is A Child Emancipated If He Joins The Reserves? )

I would CERTAINLY push the issue if I were Dad

 

[bbqpops]

First of all: Again, Thank You all. You all are a wealth of knowledge, and while I may not get clear cut solutions, you have pointed me in the right directions to allow me to help myself.

Come to find out, that while my son is in the NG, he is considered Active duty while he is in Basic Training and Advance Individual Training (AIT). I simply called the National Guard Recruiting Office, and they were happy to answer my questions.

I am not in Sarpy County, so the District Court would NOT accept the form above. However, could I type in a line below the options in the form that I found that would read, "X-Child is enlisted in active duty Military Service", and include my son's duty orders for Basic Training? Or would this alteration make the document invalid?

 

[Silverplum]

First of all: Again, Thank You all. You all are a wealth of knowledge, and while I may not get clear cut solutions, you have pointed me in the right directions to allow me to help myself.

Come to find out, that while my son is in the NG, he is considered Active duty while he is in Basic Training and Advance Individual Training (AIT). I simply called the National Guard Recruiting Office, and they were happy to answer my questions.

If they would be willing to SIGN something to this effect, that would be awesome. Or provide you with something in writing from the NG.

I am not in Sarpy County, so the District Court would NOT accept the form above. However, could I type in a line below the options in the form that I found that would read, "X-Child is enlisted in active duty Military Service", and include my son's duty orders for Basic Training? Or would this alteration make the document invalid?

I think you'd have to go down to your county and ask the clerk. Maybe a phone call, but those are usually so much less effective. Definitely try a web search of your county's court site.

 

[nextwife]

Free military status search:

https://www.dmdc.osd.mil/appj/scra/scraHome.do

 

[bbqpops]

Another roadblock

In order to plead my case of discontinuing CS, I need a copy of my son's orders to go to Basic Training. I asked my son to mail these to me the other day. He agreed to send the documents.

Now, it seems his mom has caught wind of my doings. I talked with my son briefly today, and his mom told him to not send these documents. Told him all sorts of lies about me. The lies don't bother me, but using my son does.

I don't want to get my son in the middle of a push/pull situation here, so I told him not to worry about it, I would find another way.

Is there any way to subpeonae (sp?) the kid's BT orders from an agency, maybe even the DOD?

Thanks, Again.

 

[proud_parent]

In order to plead my case of discontinuing CS, I need a copy of my son's orders to go to Basic Training. I asked my son to mail these to me the other day. He agreed to send the documents.

Now, it seems his mom has caught wind of my doings. I talked with my son briefly today, and his mom told him to not send these documents. Told him all sorts of lies about me. The lies don't bother me, but using my son does.

I don't want to get my son in the middle of a push/pull situation here, so I told him not to worry about it, I would find another way.

Is there any way to subpeonae (sp?) the kid's BT orders from an agency, maybe even the DOD?

Thanks, Again.

Have you contacted the Family Assistance Center for your region? Perhaps they can advise you.

Nebraska National Guard

 

[bbqpops]

I may be hosed.

I contacted the area Family Assistance Center. There wan't much they could hrelp me with. I was deferred to the Unit Commander.

He couldn't help me,due to privacy of the Army.

I guess I can do nothing but take it. I'm just hacked off right now.

The CSE Office was very active when support absolutely supposed to be paid, but when you have a bonafide reason to why you shouldn't pay,you are on your own.

State condoned theft. Just my opinion.

This site is a great resource for us that cannot afford representation,however. You all have been great. I appreciate your knowledge and honesty.