Giving Up Parental Rights IN CA

[TLesondak]

Hello, I am in CA and ina situation I need help with. My ex after 6years of a child support agreement between us. has now gone after me for child support through court. I make $12'hr and they are taking $600 a month from my checks..for two kids. From what I have found that is about the going rate. Although she is married and so am I now. The kids do not even live with her, the kids live with her mother and have for the last 3 years or so. She does not pay her mother child support. I know I can take her to court and she would have to pay her mother, but thoise two are an evil combination, she would move the kids in with my ex just to see me have to pay. My problem is supportintg my current family. My wife can not wirk cause there is no one to watch our son, child care would be pointless as she would be working just to pay that. I can not go see my kids cause there is way to much drama,. bad talking to my kids about me, etc....I have consulted a counselor and a couple other people, and for my 18 month olds sake as well as the sake of my two other kids (if I have to pay this, I will be putting me , wife and 18 month on the street as there is no way I can even pay rent , let alone our other bills, making it unsafe for my 18 year old, and drfinitley no good for my other two) anyway, for the sake of my others and much to my hatred towards her their mom and grandmother for doing this, I have come to the conclusion that I have no choice but to relinquish my rights as their father. I hate the htough of having to do this, but I can not afford to put my 18month old on the street.

Here is my question, and please do not pass judgment on me for having to do this, I love my kids and am soely doing this all for all of their best interests....If I relinquish my rights to them, would the child support order be stopped??

Mind you I am the kind of father that would still send them money every month, just not an amount that would causer me not even be able to have a place to live for my wife and child now. Please let me know what the legalities are on this. Thanks So Much for any of your time.

[tigger22472]

simple answer is No you can not just simply reliquish your rights and have support stopped.

[misslawli]

Unfortunatly, no you can't just give up your responsibility. Child support is a leagal obligation, visitation is a right. Even if you did give up your rights you would still legally be responsible for the child support. Unless she can convince her new hubby to adopt the children, then that would cut ALL ties with you. Basically it boils down to the kids being a liability for the state. If you end your responsibilities, and youre ex goes on welfare or gets foodstamps, the state has no one to go after to get thier money back. Sad but thats the way it is. The courts will also have the mind set that if you coulnd't afford the first two you shouldn't have had the third. sorry this didn't help you any, I understand how upsetting it would be for someone to go back on an agreement, I've been there. Just keep seeing youre kids and anytime she doesn't comply file a contempt order. If there is too much drama, file for a modification of visitation where you meet at a very public place for pick up and drop off. Sorry.

[Shay-Pari'e]

[QUOTE=TLesondak]Hello, I am in CA and ina situation I need help with. My ex after 6years of a child support agreement between us. has now gone after me for child support through court. I make $12'hr and they are taking $600 a month from my checks..for two kids. From what I have found that is about the going rate. That may or may not be the "Going Rate". You state it is basically an agreement, and not court ordered.


Although she is married and so am I now. The kids do not even live with her, the kids live with her mother and have for the last 3 years or so. She does not pay her mother child support. I know I can take her to court and she would have to pay her mother, No you cant.

but thoise two are an evil combination, she would move the kids in with my ex just to see me have to pay. And you should pay.

My problem is supportintg my current family. My wife can not wirk cause there is no one to watch our son, child care would be pointless as she would be working just to pay that. I can not go see my kids cause there is way to much drama,. Grow up. They are your kids, deal with the drama.

I have consulted a counselor and a couple other people, and for my 18 month olds sake as well as the sake of my two other kids (if I have to pay this, I will be putting me , wife and 18 month on the street as there is no way I can even pay rent , let alone our other bills, making it unsafe for my 18 year old, and drfinitley no good for my other two) Get your support court ordered, they will go by guideline support, taking into your income and your new child.


anyway, for the sake of my others and much to my hatred towards her their mom and grandmother for doing this, I have come to the conclusion that I have no choice but to relinquish my rights as their father. I hate the htough of having to do this, but I can not afford to put my 18month old on the street. Your 18 month old is no more special than the others that you produced.

Here is my question, and please do not pass judgment on me for having to do this, I love my kids and am soely doing this all for all of their best interests....If I relinquish my rights to them, would the child support order be stopped?? Nope.


Mind you I am the kind of father that would still send them money every month, just not an amount that would causer me not even be able to have a place to live for my wife and child now. Again, you have other children.

[VeronicaGia]

In CA, support is based on the net income of both parents and takes visitation into consideration. If you have no visitation, you get no credit for it, meaning you are the sole provider. Do you have court ordered visitation? If you do, you can also ask the court to impute income to her based on what she would be making if she was working full time, that is, if she's not working at all or working part time.

Other than that, you cannot relenquish your rights. Even if you could, rights and obligations are separate issues. Child support falls under the obligations column, so you would no longer have the right to see your kids or be involved in their lives but you would continue to be obligated to them for support.

[stepie82]

Ok I am slightly confused...I thought that if the children no longer resided with the mother that mom could no longer receive support. I was going to send my child to his grandparents for a year and I was notified that my support was going to be discontinued if my son was not in my physical custody 30 days after I received notice. I had to go to court and we had to state that yes I had my son in custody and he was no longer with my parents. IIs this only done in some states? Why would the paying parent be obligated to pay the childrens mother when the kids are not in her custody? Thanks for your help with understanding this!

[stealth2]

CS is always state-specific. If there's a court order - it takes a court order to have it stopped or changed. If there's no court order, Dad doesn't have to pay anything (of course, if there's no court order for visitation, Mom doesn't have to allow any either).

[prettyredhead]

Another fine product of society. Good god. You should never have had more kids if you cant afford them. Send your wife to work, if it is "going to send you on to the street" . Paying for childcare is subsidized in all states, if you income is low. Or even moderate. It can be done. She doesnt want to work, NOR SHOULD she, but she CHOSE to marry someone who could not provide enough income to keep 3 kids. Maybe you can get a second job. Dont blame you other kids. You sound resentful. And I am soooo sure youll send money....