Got a Married Woman Pregnant- HELP!

[invictusaflak]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

I have a friend who's in a situation. He was dating a woman until she came out and told him that she wasn't even separated from her husband. just a short period after the first time they had sex she starts saying she is pregnant. in his eyes he feels like there's no way that the kid can be his but she swears it is so he is going along.
but what is happening is that she is trying to blackmail my friend. she has told him if he doesn't commit to a relationship with her, then she is going to keep the kids (twins, has previously said she is going to give them up for adoption because shes 39 and doesn't want kids again). She has also told him that she is going to take him for child support and "screw him over" if he doesn't give into her every desire. He wants nothing to do with the woman, she's just trying to ruin his life by taking him for money.
I have heard in the state of South Carolina, no matter what, the husband is given rights to the child because it "ruins the childs view of marriage if the mother conceived outside of the marriage).
is this true? would my friend not have to pay child support and not have any legal responsibilities to this child? i know i have read stories where even when a DNA test was performed, the actual father of the child still didn't have rights because he could not be put on the birth certificate, therefore, he cannot accept the paternity of the child. (if he's told to pay child support, of course hes going to want to be in the kids' lives)
If she decides to keep these kids, whats going to happen? what if there is a court ordered DNA test, could the courts make him pay child support? would there even be a court ordered DNA test? or because shes married, all legal rights to the child are in the hands of the husband? (she says shes going to keep them herself ONLY because she wants to screw my friend over.... isnt that sick? to bring a child into the world and raise it yourself just because you wanted to get back at the father who really would rather give it up for adoption to someone who would LOVE the child). Could this not be blackmail in the courts eyes by using a child to say "date me/marry me and do everything last thing I say or I am going to have these children and make your life hell with them AND take you for child support.

whats going to happen once these kids are born?

HELP!!!!!!!!!

Thanks

 

[Silverplum]

So this is a third hand question for someone else?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

I have a friend who's in a situation. He was dating a woman until she came out and told him that she wasn't even separated from her husband. just a short period after the first time they had sex she starts saying she is pregnant. in his eyes he feels like there's no way that the kid can be his but she swears it is so he is going along.
but what is happening is that she is trying to blackmail my friend. she has told him if he doesn't commit to a relationship with her, then she is going to keep the kids (twins, has previously said she is going to give them up for adoption because shes 39 and doesn't want kids again). She has also told him that she is going to take him for child support and "screw him over" if he doesn't give into her every desire. He wants nothing to do with the woman, she's just trying to ruin his life by taking him for money.
I have heard in the state of South Carolina, no matter what, the husband is given rights to the child because it "ruins the childs view of marriage if the mother conceived outside of the marriage).
is this true? would my friend not have to pay child support and not have any legal responsibilities to this child? i know i have read stories where even when a DNA test was performed, the actual father of the child still didn't have rights because he could not be put on the birth certificate, therefore, he cannot accept the paternity of the child. (if he's told to pay child support, of course hes going to want to be in the kids' lives)
If she decides to keep these kids, whats going to happen? what if there is a court ordered DNA test, could the courts make him pay child support? would there even be a court ordered DNA test? or because shes married, all legal rights to the child are in the hands of the husband? (she says shes going to keep them herself ONLY because she wants to screw my friend over.... isnt that sick? to bring a child into the world and raise it yourself just because you wanted to get back at the father who really would rather give it up for adoption to someone who would LOVE the child). Could this not be blackmail in the courts eyes by using a child to say "date me/marry me and do everything last thing I say or I am going to have these children and make your life hell with them AND take you for child support.

whats going to happen once these kids are born?

HELP!!!!!!!!!

Thanks

 

[kdhohio]

So this is a third hand question for someone else?

I agree.

invictusaflak, I think your friend is lieing to you. He is just using all this blackmail stuff to justify his actions and to keep you off his back when you realize his true intentions. I think he has decided that he loves this woman. He wants to commit to her and raise these children. Just leave him alone. If there is one thing this board understands it is true love.

*Please note, I am not a lawyer, nor am I in any legal field. Just my thoughts based on past experience.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

I have a friend who's in a situation. He was dating a woman until she came out and told him that she wasn't even separated from her husband. just a short period after the first time they had sex she starts saying she is pregnant. in his eyes he feels like there's no way that the kid can be his but she swears it is so he is going along.
but what is happening is that she is trying to blackmail my friend. she has told him if he doesn't commit to a relationship with her, then she is going to keep the kids (twins, has previously said she is going to give them up for adoption because shes 39 and doesn't want kids again). She has also told him that she is going to take him for child support and "screw him over" if he doesn't give into her every desire. He wants nothing to do with the woman, she's just trying to ruin his life by taking him for money.
I have heard in the state of South Carolina, no matter what, the husband is given rights to the child because it "ruins the childs view of marriage if the mother conceived outside of the marriage).
is this true? would my friend not have to pay child support and not have any legal responsibilities to this child? i know i have read stories where even when a DNA test was performed, the actual father of the child still didn't have rights because he could not be put on the birth certificate, therefore, he cannot accept the paternity of the child. (if he's told to pay child support, of course hes going to want to be in the kids' lives)
If she decides to keep these kids, whats going to happen? what if there is a court ordered DNA test, could the courts make him pay child support? would there even be a court ordered DNA test? or because shes married, all legal rights to the child are in the hands of the husband? (she says shes going to keep them herself ONLY because she wants to screw my friend over.... isnt that sick? to bring a child into the world and raise it yourself just because you wanted to get back at the father who really would rather give it up for adoption to someone who would LOVE the child). Could this not be blackmail in the courts eyes by using a child to say "date me/marry me and do everything last thing I say or I am going to have these children and make your life hell with them AND take you for child support.

whats going to happen once these kids are born?

HELP!!!!!!!!!

Thanks

If she is married, then her husband would be the legal father of the children UNLESS your friend files a petition to establish paternity and a court ordered DNA test proves him to be the father...or unless the husband, within a fairly short amount of time, establishes, again via a court ordered DNA test, that he is NOT the father.

However, this whole situation seems more than a bit "dramatic"...immediate pregancy...twins no less...threats of adoption...etc...mom 39 years old and therefore an "at risk" pregnancy.

Its all possible, but its all possibly "drama" and not true...either from the potential mom, or from you as a forum "troll".

So...tell your friend to sit back and wait to see if she actually gives birth, and then take it from there.

 

[Nativity]

You may want to seek new friends who don't seem to give it up so randomly.

Yahoo! Answers - invictusaflak's Q&A profile

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Dont do it-

my boyfriend had this issue about 2 years ago. his (ex)best friend is 32 years old and felt like she was running out of time to have a child. she asked him to get her pregnant and he did so because he trusted her.. she said because she was bearing his child, she "fell in love" with him and wanted to have a family life. she realized it wasnt the kid that she was missing, it was the "family llifestyle" that she was missing. he had absolutely no feelings for her so he declined on a relationship, reminding her he was just there to get her pregnant. she went for child support. $600 a month child support, even though she promised him all she wanted was a kid from him because he was everything she wanted her father of her children to be, no responsibilities from him, whether it be emotional or financially. he sees the kid every other week, even though from the get go, he really didnt want to be a father to this child. a year after the child is born, they pretty much hate eachother because of this kid and because of what she did to him (took him for child support and wants him to be a full time father) and shes pissed at him because he didnt fall in love with her

the only way she can get "knocked up" by you and you not be responsible is for you to go to a doctor and get the doctor to artifically inseminate her. it will be just like you going to a sperm bank and her ending up picking your sperm.

its a trap dude, dont do it!
1 month ago
Source(s):
personal experience

 

[invictusaflak]

Im not a troll, i swear to you. this is a real life situation as sad as it may seem. he's not lying to me, ive watched it first hand happen (her psychotic behavior) and as a woman myself, i cannot believe what shes doing... its only going to hurt the children in the long run.

i came here for help on his behalf. he asked me to help him look online for people in this situation and the south carolina laws. i stumbled upon this website because someone had a similar problem (but he wanted rights and he wanted to pay child support)

so if there is anyone that can actually help stop this drama I/he would appreciate it. she harasses him every day, all day.... he cant sleep, eat, nothing without her threatening to "F him over" he would love to tell her "hey you cant take me for child support" so she would give the children up for adoption to a family who would love them cause shes already stated she doesnt want these kids (and probably wont love them the way they should be)

 

[cyjeff]

Then tell him this.

The courts look at a child conceived or born during a marriage the product of that marriage until, and only until, someone outside the marriage petitions for paternity.

To be honest, the person getting screwed over here is the hubby... he gets to support a child he didn't have the fun in making.

 

[legalbeagle22]

The husband is going to be legally presumed the father until such a time as he challanges the paternity finding (such as during a divorce), or the biological father files to establish paternity. The morality of the situation is not really at issue, so I leave that alone. If you're friend is worried that she's going to try and "double dip" and collect child support from him while retaining the husband as the legal father (or collect CS from both) the answer is no, she cannot do that.

 

[LdiJ]

Then tell him this.

The courts look at a child conceived or born during a marriage the product of that marriage until, and only until, someone outside the marriage petitions for paternity.

To be honest, the person getting screwed over here is the hubby... he gets to support a child he didn't have the fun in making.

The husband can also challenge paternity. He is not "stuck" unless he chooses to be stuck. He cannot wait 10 years to challenge paternity, but he does have a period of time to do so, in every state.

 

[swrdmbo]

you wrote "if he's told to pay child support, of course hes going to want to be in the kids' lives"

WHAT??? He is saying everything he can that he does not want these children ( if they exist), wants them put up for adoption... but..

If he has to pay for them then "of course" he would want to be in their lives??

What a jerk.....so this is all about money, and shirking his responsibility if he can...but if he can't...well then...if it's going to cost him money...he wants to be involved.

I REALLY hope this woman is lying.God help these poor children if this is for real.