Harassment at Work

[Ximat1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

Hello,

This is my first post to the boards, however, I am in need of advise and after looking through these boards there appears to be a wealth of collective knowledge behind all the users on here.

In Short: I was taken to court over paternity. Paternity and eventually child support was established.

The original order for support, as well as the amended order for support have the typical refrain from harassment statement in them.

The custodial parent/mother is Active Duty Military, as am I. She has routinely over the past two years attempted to contact my Military chain of Command, and my military phone and email to contact me, and ultimately attempt to make my life hell.

Unfortunatly the military is rather two faced on this, they will listen to her crockadile tears and puppy dog eyes, but when I ask them to tell her this is a civil matter and to leave the military out of it they tell me just that "We can't tell her that... This is a civil matter and we cannot interfere with it."

So I am finally fed up. Her continued attempts at contacting me at my place of work, and through my co-workers has got to stop. It is effecting my duties as a US Military member, and effecting my workplace.

I want to re-open my case, and file some sort of motion to have it put in writing that she cannot contact me at my place of work, cannot contact my co-workers, etc.

I have a cell phone number, which she has, and a home address which she has that she can call or write to.

I have looked into a Motion to show Cause and request a temporary restraining order to restrain her from calling my workplace etc, however, I am not sure if this is the proper route.

Could someone help shed light on what route I should take?

Thank you!
X

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

Hello,

This is my first post to the boards, however, I am in need of advise and after looking through these boards there appears to be a wealth of collective knowledge behind all the users on here.

In Short: I was taken to court over paternity. Paternity and eventually child support was established.

The original order for support, as well as the amended order for support have the typical refrain from harassment statement in them.

The custodial parent/mother is Active Duty Military, as am I. She has routinely over the past two years attempted to contact my Military chain of Command, and my military phone and email to contact me, and ultimately attempt to make my life hell.

Unfortunatly the military is rather two faced on this, they will listen to her crockadile tears and puppy dog eyes, but when I ask them to tell her this is a civil matter and to leave the military out of it they tell me just that "We can't tell her that... This is a civil matter and we cannot interfere with it."

So I am finally fed up. Her continued attempts at contacting me at my place of work, and through my co-workers has got to stop. It is effecting my duties as a US Military member, and effecting my workplace.

I want to re-open my case, and file some sort of motion to have it put in writing that she cannot contact me at my place of work, cannot contact my co-workers, etc.

I have a cell phone number, which she has, and a home address which she has that she can call or write to.

I have looked into a Motion to show Cause and request a temporary restraining order to restrain her from calling my workplace etc, however, I am not sure if this is the proper route.

Could someone help shed light on what route I should take?

Thank you!
X

What kinds of things is she contacting your command about?

 

[MommaBearX3]

It shouldn't matter what she is contacting his Command about. She has ZERO reason to contact his Command whatsoever. She knows full well that by contact him via his Command that it can adversely reflect upon him.

Military members have their CS taken from their pay automatically, so she can't be claiming that he isn't paying. I'd imagine he also has a way to be contacted for emergencies, child illness, etc. that does not involve calling his Command.

My advice would be to send her a Cease and Desist letter. If she does not stop her harassment after that, then press harassment charges.

 

[Proserpina]

What kinds of things is she contacting your command about?

Might be important, yeap.

I'm also interested to know if Dad is blocking contact so that Mom has no other option...

It's one thing Dad giving more his contact info - it's another thing entirely if he's not answering the phone.

 

[Proserpina]

It shouldn't matter what she is contacting his Command about. She has ZERO reason to contact his Command whatsoever. She knows full well that by contact him via his Command that it can adversely reflect upon him.

Military members have their CS taken from their pay automatically, so she can't be claiming that he isn't paying. I'd imagine he also has a way to be contacted for emergencies, child illness, etc. that does not involve calling his Command.

My advice would be to send her a Cease and Desist letter. If she does not stop her harassment after that, then press harassment charges.

I'm going to respectfully disagree - until Dad responds.

 

[MommaBearX3]

I'm going to respectfully disagree - until Dad responds.

Fair enough. I guess I just responded from the point of view of a parent that would never ignore a call from the ex in regards to the kiddos.

 

[CourtClerk]

Fair enough. I guess I just responded from the point of view of a parent that would never ignore a call from the ex in regards to the kiddos.

And in some cases, its best to ignore an ex's phone calls, even if it's about the kids. That's why God created voicemail

 

[Ximat1]

What kinds of things is she contacting your command about?

Calling my command and telling them that I am not paying CS. (By court order it comes directly out of my paycheck... No way I can't pay it.)

Telling them I am violating court orders by not giving her my address or telephone number, etc. Problem is in the same court order she says I am violating it has the information in there. My address, my telephone number, etc.

Basically calling the command, making these claims knowing they will pressure me to prove I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. (In the military you are presumably guilty before found innocent)

It shouldn't matter what she is contacting his Command about. She has ZERO reason to contact his Command whatsoever. She knows full well that by contact him via his Command that it can adversely reflect upon him.

Military members have their CS taken from their pay automatically, so she can't be claiming that he isn't paying. I'd imagine he also has a way to be contacted for emergencies, child illness, etc. that does not involve calling his Command.

My advice would be to send her a Cease and Desist letter. If she does not stop her harassment after that, then press harassment charges.

I hadn't thought about a C&D letter. Is it possible to get that included into the court records though?

Might be important, yeap.

I'm also interested to know if Dad is blocking contact so that Mom has no other option...

It's one thing Dad giving more his contact info - it's another thing entirely if he's not answering the phone.

Yes, I should have been more specific in my first post!

How could I block contact giving her no other option? Calling my supervision is not an option no matter what. If im not answering my home phone it doesn't give her any right to contact my supervision at work! Take the military out of it... Put corporate world into it... If someone doesn't answer their home phone, it doesn't give the custodial parent any right to call the CEO of their corporate job does it?

I'm going to respectfully disagree - until Dad responds.

Thank you!

Fair enough. I guess I just responded from the point of view of a parent that would never ignore a call from the ex in regards to the kiddos.

And in some cases, its best to ignore an ex's phone calls, even if it's about the kids. That's why God created voicemail

Amen to voice mail!

 

[Proserpina]

How could I block contact giving her no other option? Calling my supervision is not an option no matter what. If im not answering my home phone it doesn't give her any right to contact my supervision at work! Take the military out of it... Put corporate world into it... If someone doesn't answer their home phone, it doesn't give the custodial parent any right to call the CEO of their corporate job does it?

I'm not saying that, necessarily.

BUT. If Mom calls you, wanting to discuss something regarding the child, and you're repeatedly not answering, she might feel it necessary to contact someone who can get hold of you.

See where I'm coming from? It's not convenient for you perhaps, and it's not necessarily "right" for Mom to do that. But I can - a little bit - perhaps understand why she's doing it if you're not answering the phone.


And I'd just like to thank you for your service.

 

[Ximat1]

I'm not saying that, necessarily.

BUT. If Mom calls you, wanting to discuss something regarding the child, and you're repeatedly not answering, she might feel it necessary to contact someone who can get hold of you.

See where I'm coming from? It's not convenient for you perhaps, and it's not necessarily "right" for Mom to do that. But I can - a little bit - perhaps understand why she's doing it if you're not answering the phone.


And I'd just like to thank you for your service.

That makes sense. However, phone records will reflect that she has not attempted to contact me via my primary telephone number since 2006. My phone number has not changed sine 2003.

I have never worked in the corporate world, went military right out of high school. What would the corporate world do if a custodial parent called the CEO, or Executive and made false allegations like this custodial parents has?

Basically it rolls down to this: She is military as well, so she knows how to play the system to her advantage. She knows (the past has proven) that if she makes a claim, wether it is true or false, the Military has an obligation to investigate. I understand that part of it. However, when the Military finds her claims to be false and I BEG them to tell her to stop contacting me via the Military they say "It is a Civil Matter... Go through the Civil courts to do that"... They don't seem to see the irony in the fact they are meddling in my business by taking her calls in the first place... And no one has even thought of saying stop with the false allegations and such! That is what boggles me!

Thank you for your thank you. Supprisingly you don't get that much anymore.

X

 

[Alex1176]

That makes sense. However, phone records will reflect that she has not attempted to contact me via my primary telephone number since 2006. My phone number has not changed sine 2003.

I have never worked in the corporate world, went military right out of high school. What would the corporate world do if a custodial parent called the CEO, or Executive and made false allegations like this custodial parents has?

Basically it rolls down to this: She is military as well, so she knows how to play the system to her advantage. She knows (the past has proven) that if she makes a claim, wether it is true or false, the Military has an obligation to investigate. I understand that part of it. However, when the Military finds her claims to be false and I BEG them to tell her to stop contacting me via the Military they say "It is a Civil Matter... Go through the Civil courts to do that"... They don't seem to see the irony in the fact they are meddling in my business by taking her calls in the first place... And no one has even thought of saying stop with the false allegations and such! That is what boggles me!

Thank you for your thank you. Supprisingly you don't get that much anymore.

X

In your place I would call HER command and complain about her harassing you. Tell her commander something like "I don't want to press criminal charges, but If she will continue to harass me, I will have no choice. And you, sir, are my last resort to try and convince her to stop".

 

[mistoffolees]

In your place I would call HER command and complain about her harassing you. Tell her commander something like "I don't want to press criminal charges, but If she will continue to harass me, I will have no choice. And you, sir, are my last resort to try and convince her to stop".

Bad move. "She did it first" is really a weak defense when there are easier alternatives.

There are other potential actions - see below.

That makes sense. However, phone records will reflect that she has not attempted to contact me via my primary telephone number since 2006. My phone number has not changed sine 2003.

I have never worked in the corporate world, went military right out of high school. What would the corporate world do if a custodial parent called the CEO, or Executive and made false allegations like this custodial parents has?

Basically it rolls down to this: She is military as well, so she knows how to play the system to her advantage. She knows (the past has proven) that if she makes a claim, wether it is true or false, the Military has an obligation to investigate. I understand that part of it. However, when the Military finds her claims to be false and I BEG them to tell her to stop contacting me via the Military they say "It is a Civil Matter... Go through the Civil courts to do that"... They don't seem to see the irony in the fact they are meddling in my business by taking her calls in the first place... And no one has even thought of saying stop with the false allegations and such! That is what boggles me!

Thank you for your thank you. Supprisingly you don't get that much anymore.

X

Re: the bolded. You've been with the military long enough to understand that government rules don't always make sense. They are required by law to take her calls. That doesn't mean they have to take any particular action.

I would talk with your JAG to see if s/he can offer any advice. If that doesn't work, I would hire an attorney to take action. Since I don't know what your court orders say, I can't say exactly what the attorney would do, but they might do any or all of the following:
- Cease and Desist letter
- Filing for contempt of existing order (I don't know what the order says, so this may or may not be possible)
- Filing for harassment and tortuous interference with your employment
- Filing for a change of your court orders to prohibit contacting employers other than an emergency
- Ask the court to order her to pay your legal expenses
- Probably a few other options I haven't thought of.

You should be able to put a stop to it via one or more of the above steps, but it will almost certainly require an attorney.

 

[Alex1176]

Bad move. "She did it first" is really a weak defense when there are easier alternatives.

There are other potential actions - see below.

Does one call to her CO can be considered as a harassment?

 

[mistoffolees]

Does one call to her CO can be considered as a harassment?

I never said that it would.

But you have to look at how these things appear in court.

OP: Your Honor, she kept calling my CO and it interferes with my work and could cost me a promotion or even get me discharged
Judge: What did you do?
OP: I called her CO

See how hypocritical that sounds? And there aren't many things that judges hate more than hypocrisy. Better to try one of the other methods first.

 

[Alex1176]

I never said that it would.

But you have to look at how these things appear in court.

OP: Your Honor, she kept calling my CO and it interferes with my work and could cost me a promotion or even get me discharged
Judge: What did you do?
OP: I called her CO

See how hypocritical that sounds? And there aren't many things that judges hate more than hypocrisy. Better to try one of the other methods first.

Hmmm... I guess you right. Maybe it's better to start with a CD letter.