help exwife says im in contempt and im paying plus arrears

[stealth2]

Actually I do...two full time steps, one full time bio-all teens_ I promise you I know a lot about child expenses/costs

Of course, you are NOT responsible for your stepchildren's living expenses. That's up to THEIR parents. Your choice to do so is just that - a choice.

I'm sorry but your numbers come across quite inflated also

School supplies for example- in a typical public school, you get supplies beginning of the year and maybe re-up on a couple things during the year- it does NOT cost $1200 a year for two kids, sorry. A lot of numbers seem exaggerated...again, we have been raising 3 teens so I DO know the costs. If they both approach raising their kids at each parent paying half of their childs support that's $1800 a month for both kids.

HAHAHAHA On what planet do you live??? My kids' high schools ran on block scheduling, so different classes fall and spring. Each semester had different teachers and different supply lists. LOL The minimal scuba gear required my youngest's frosh year in HS cost me at least a third of that $1200 (and yes, Scuba was a required course at her PUBLIC HS).

While some of tori's numbers did - in some cases - seem slightly inflated, most did not. The extra curricular costs alone made me crack up. Food, too.

In addition, this number was found to be an accurate number based on his financial affidavit, well, BOTH their salaries, so by the COURTS and state standard he is paying what is due to his children, he's paying the arrears also.

True, but - he has still not answered whether or not what he pays is actually what is ordered.

I will and cannot call a man a deadbeat because he got behind during a seperation period. Many of them are ordered to continue paying all household bills and do, and then get tagged w/being deadbeats for not saving for CS in ADDITION to paying all bills. I've seen it happen WAY to many times to jump to the deadbeat conclusion.

No one called him a deadbeat - stop projecting.

Child expenses are divided based on what both parents make-not all kids 'qualify' for those inflated amounts or extra curriculars or french cuisine classes either they wouldn't have done this if they were married either based on their salaries I'm guessing.

True, in some cases. Not in all. Many parents put their kids needs, interests and talents ahead of their own needs/desires. Most, even.

 

[lifechanges]

Of course, you are NOT responsible for your stepchildren's living expenses. That's up to THEIR parents. Your choice to do so is just that - a choice.



HAHAHAHA On what planet do you live??? My kids' high schools ran on block scheduling, so different classes fall and spring. Each semester had different teachers and different supply lists. LOL The minimal scuba gear required my youngest's frosh year in HS cost me at least a third of that $1200 (and yes, Scuba was a required course at her PUBLIC HS).

While some of tori's numbers did - in some cases - seem slightly inflated, most did not. The extra curricular costs alone made me crack up. Food, too.



True, but - he has still not answered whether or not what he pays is actually what is ordered.



No one called him a deadbeat - stop projecting.



True, in some cases. Not in all. Many parents put their kids needs, interests and talents ahead of their own needs/desires. Most, even.

I never said I was responsible for my stepkids financially!!! I said I was aware of costs of teens/expenses...if you live with it and work together and budget, regardless of WHO pays for what (parents paying for their own) doesn't mean you aren't aware of expenses for crying out loud!

I live on planet earth, most schools don't have SCUBA, every state has different requirements...so you're arguing that firgure A isn't inflate but maybe others are...so it's just a case of 'I want to counter everything you said, the sky is blue -so it must be purple'. BRILLIANT!

It was implied he was a deadbeat-I saw the word deadbeat thrown around (maybe it got deleted). I thought he DID say he was paying a couple hundred dollars OVER the ordered amount for his arrears? I'll go back and re-read.

Of course most parents put kids needs above their own.? Does that mean you teach your kids to live outside their means? Or that a good future only comes from extreme parental sacrifice/debt? What about that you can come from very little and STILL become successful. You don't need tons of extra curriculars and expensive classes to become a well rounded adult.
IMO that comes from ethics, morals and teaching kids responsibility. I won't sacrifice and work 80 hrs a week so Junior can ride horses if it teaches them little of value vs me spending time with them teaching them how to value life and others.

If they can't afford it, it doesn't make them bad parents. It makes them realistic and smart w/their financial income. American's live WAY beyond their means, parents have been left w/no retirement to pay for kids colleges and new cars. They live in poverty or untreated medical conditions to get kids the latest shoes or apparel. Sorry.....sacrifice is one thing, stupidity another-it sounds like this man is providing.

 

[lifechanges]

OH there it is!

by court I have too 990 per month I pay 1100.38 per month how can I be in contempt

1000 a month in MN, so if both parent are contributing a fare share (and actually normally CP are assigned a higher percentage of financial responsibility because of overnights) -but let's ASSUME 50/50 responsibility- in MN you CAN properly raise two children on 2k a month...nicely too.

He is paying an extra $110.38 towards arrears...he said it was like 40pct of his check right?
OH I see my other post got deleted.

I never said I was responsible for my step kids financially-I said I know what it costs...reading comprehension Not everyone pays Scuba or should....

Parents sacrifice for their kids-they should not sacrifice their entire paychecks and live in a shoebox so kids can have the latest iphone and pony rides or speciality classes. Kids are taught to live w/in the budget the parents CAN AFFORD- and need to work hard to improve their lives. They aren't owed a parents absolute poverty and no retirement to go to Ivy League schools either. I know American's have turned this way and encourage this mentality in eachother-but I do not suscribe to this.

The courts and CS system are entirely criminal-this is JMO and the family/society pays the price of greed. The entire CS and family court system is about greed for crying out loud.

 

[Proserpina]

OH there it is!

by court I have too 990 per month I pay 1100.38 per month how can I be in contempt

1000 a month in MN, so if both parent are contributing a fare share (and actually normally CP are assigned a higher percentage of financial responsibility because of overnights) -but let's ASSUME 50/50 responsibility- in MN you CAN properly raise two children on 2k a month...nicely too.

He is paying an extra $110.38 towards arrears...he said it was like 40pct of his check right?
OH I see my other post got deleted.

I never said I was responsible for my step kids financially-I said I know what it costs...reading comprehension Not everyone pays Scuba or should....

Parents sacrifice for their kids-they should not sacrifice their entire paychecks and live in a shoebox so kids can have the latest iphone and pony rides or speciality classes. Kids are taught to live w/in the budget the parents CAN AFFORD- and need to work hard to improve their lives. They aren't owed a parents absolute poverty and no retirement to go to Ivy League schools either. I know American's have turned this way and encourage this mentality in eachother-but I do not suscribe to this.

The courts and CS system are entirely criminal-this is JMO and the family/society pays the price of greed. The entire CS and family court system is about greed for crying out loud.

You're the last poster who should be questioning the reading comprehension skills of anybody else.

 

[stealth2]

OH there it is!

by court I have too 990 per month I pay 1100.38 per month how can I be in contempt

1000 a month in MN, so if both parent are contributing a fare share (and actually normally CP are assigned a higher percentage of financial responsibility because of overnights) -but let's ASSUME 50/50 responsibility- in MN you CAN properly raise two children on 2k a month...nicely too.

He is paying an extra $110.38 towards arrears...he said it was like 40pct of his check right?

But he does NOT say that the extra $110.38 is what the court ordered towards arrears, did he. That was my point.

And.... why did you delete your previous post? I'll answer the points I remember.

Perhaps I misunderstood your point regarding your stepkids. Mea culpa.

Yes, when a child is accepted to an exclusive PUBLIC school which specializes in Marine Science and teaches all classes to a college level, one expects additional expenses. Her other parent was thrilled she got in - until finding out that there were expenses I needed help with. LOL Yeah, Scuba, scientific calculators, some pretty cool field trips. No way was I telling my kid she couldn't go because I couldn't afford it or her other parent wouldn't help. Funny how I was never really hungry until after they went to bed - ate a lot of plain pasta after hours. Plenty of other examples I won't bore you with - extra curriculars for each, college for each, etc.

Not all NCPs are the poor put-upon parent, nor is every CP greedy. Again - stop projecting. Nor are all lawyers scum. I had two absolutely awesome ones.

And while it is really none of your business, you are insulting and offensive to even think my kids live beyond their means. Both know how to work and live frugally. At their ages, both know what I've given up to help them towards bright futures. So I <spit> on you.

 

[stealth2]

OH there it is!

by court I have too 990 per month I pay 1100.38 per month how can I be in contempt

1000 a month in MN, so if both parent are contributing a fare share (and actually normally CP are assigned a higher percentage of financial responsibility because of overnights) -but let's ASSUME 50/50 responsibility- in MN you CAN properly raise two children on 2k a month...nicely too.

He is paying an extra $110.38 towards arrears...he said it was like 40pct of his check right?
OH I see my other post got deleted.

I never said I was responsible for my step kids financially-I said I know what it costs...reading comprehension Not everyone pays Scuba or should....

Parents sacrifice for their kids-they should not sacrifice their entire paychecks and live in a shoebox so kids can have the latest iphone and pony rides or speciality classes. Kids are taught to live w/in the budget the parents CAN AFFORD- and need to work hard to improve their lives. They aren't owed a parents absolute poverty and no retirement to go to Ivy League schools either. I know American's have turned this way and encourage this mentality in eachother-but I do not suscribe to this.

The courts and CS system are entirely criminal-this is JMO and the family/society pays the price of greed. The entire CS and family court system is about greed for crying out loud.

No one said I live in a shoebox - to the contrary. I own my home free and clear, and no - my ex had NOTHING to do with that. Nor to they go to Ivies.

 

[lifechanges]

You're the last poster who should be questioning the reading comprehension skills of anybody else.

I certainly CAN question comprehension skills, because I've seen people twist my words/posts AND intentions several times because that is their DEFAULT reply/attitude to ANYBODY who dares show up on their beloved little playing pen.

I'm here presenting my pov, IS that against rules? It's NOT against rules to advice others that post - it's ok to encourage the actual persons participation, it is not a hard set rule otherwise I can't respond right? OK, then my suggestions to the hens clucking around to take their pecking elsewhere_I do not care about your need to establish 'order'.

 

[lifechanges]

"Not all NCPs are the poor put-upon parent, nor is every CP greedy. Again - stop projecting. Nor are all lawyers scum. I had two absolutely awesome ones."

Of course! Nobody ever said that...I agree 100pct. I'm not projecting. In fact I had an absolutely awesome attorney-I have NOT been taken advantage of personally, I however have been close witness to it many times.

Many NCP are the better parents, many CP operate outside of greed entirely. In our home the prior CP of my child was a greedy pos, period, their disgusting ways led them to lose custody.

My spouse being a custodial parent sacrifices a lot-we both do, receives a VERY modest amount of CS- has qualified for more but hasn't returned to court for over a decade and their ex is certainly not put upon w/that amount.

Nobody is making black/white statements. I also did not imply that YOU as in 'on the board' lived in a shoebox, just that many DO end up in poverty to shower their kids more then they should because of what is lacks in teaching their kids reality.

 

[torimac]

For the record, yes it can cost $50 per month in school supplies. My kid went to a public school. In addition to the $50-100 dollars in paper, folders, pens, pencils, highlighters, crayons or colored pencils, backpack, etc...
My child has had to purchase every required reading novel for her English class; I was able to save money since I had some on my bookshelf at home such as Shakespeare. She has had to buy a uniform and a lock for gym. She has had to purchase an outfit for choir, fees for art class, fees for field trips, calculators ($100 graphing calculator) for math, safety glasses for science class, equipment needed for special projects for most of the classes... These were normal classes, required credits for graduation not extracurricular.

Schools, at least in CA and TX, where I lived when my child was in school, are not child ready. You have to send a ton of supplies and continue to purchase them through out the year. And that's hoping nothing is lost or stolen.

 

[Zigner]

If one really wishes to push the issue, the California constitution requires a free education. In other words, if it's required for class, you cannot be required to pay for it. Of course, schools tend to ignore that little tidbit all the time...

Just sayin'

 

[LdiJ]

I certainly CAN question comprehension skills, because I've seen people twist my words/posts AND intentions several times because that is their DEFAULT reply/attitude to ANYBODY who dares show up on their beloved little playing pen.

I'm here presenting my pov, IS that against rules? It's NOT against rules to advice others that post - it's ok to encourage the actual persons participation, it is not a hard set rule otherwise I can't respond right? OK, then my suggestions to the hens clucking around to take their pecking elsewhere_I do not care about your need to establish 'order'.

Anything you would post that is legally accurate is ok and valid. What we have questioned is your legal accuracy.

 

[LdiJ]

"Not all NCPs are the poor put-upon parent, nor is every CP greedy. Again - stop projecting. Nor are all lawyers scum. I had two absolutely awesome ones."

Of course! Nobody ever said that...I agree 100pct. I'm not projecting. In fact I had an absolutely awesome attorney-I have NOT been taken advantage of personally, I however have been close witness to it many times.

Many NCP are the better parents, many CP operate outside of greed entirely. In our home the prior CP of my child was a greedy pos, period, their disgusting ways led them to lose custody.

My spouse being a custodial parent sacrifices a lot-we both do, receives a VERY modest amount of CS- has qualified for more but hasn't returned to court for over a decade and their ex is certainly not put upon w/that amount.

Nobody is making black/white statements. I also did not imply that YOU as in 'on the board' lived in a shoebox, just that many DO end up in poverty to shower their kids more then they should because of what is lacks in teaching their kids reality.

One cannot describe "many" cps as greedy just as one cannot describe "many" ncps as deadbeat. There are some cps who are either greedy or do not deserve primary custody and there are some ncps that are deadbeats and toxic. MOST parents are good people that are neither greedy, unfit, deadbeats or toxic.