help myself, my daughter and grand-daughter

[allison nickens]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

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i have custody of my grandaughter and have had it for last 4 years ever since her father abandoned her and my daughter on my door-step. When the state went after him for support they also went after my daughter. The reason i was told was that both parents have to pay when a third party has custody. But my daughter lives in my home with her daughter and provides all of her care and upkeep of the home. She has limited education due to a severe learning disability and in turn this greatly limits any earning potential. She is worth much more at home as she has become the sole care-giver of the child and the home. The courts have now put an arrest attachment on her for non payment. The only way her child support can be paid is if i can pay it for her and then they will send it to me. Money laundering is what we call that in my book. This would put a severe financial burden on the family and would be unfair to the child the state claims to be looking after. Please help me help them. Thanks, Allison, Ashley, Alexis

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

​

i have custody of my grandaughter and have had it for last 4 years ever since her father abandoned her and my daughter on my door-step. When the state went after him for support they also went after my daughter. The reason i was told was that both parents have to pay when a third party has custody. But my daughter lives in my home with her daughter and provides all of her care and upkeep of the home. She has limited education due to a severe learning disability and in turn this greatly limits any earning potential. She is worth much more at home as she has become the sole care-giver of the child and the home. The courts have now put an arrest attachment on her for non payment. The only way her child support can be paid is if i can pay it for her and then they will send it to me. Money laundering is what we call that in my book. This would put a severe financial burden on the family and would be unfair to the child the state claims to be looking after. Please help me help them. Thanks, Allison, Ashley, Alexis

Have you ever obtained State assistance for your granddaughter? If you are, THAT is why the State is demanding both parents support their mutual child.

And please explain how this would be a severe financial burden to you. If you pay and the money comes right back to you.....?

As an alternative, there's nothing stopping you from signing over custody to your daughter. That way she won't be obliged to pay child support (though she'll still be responsible for any arrears owed to the State).

If she's that developmentally disabled she should also apply for SSI.

 

[nextwife]

So what did they base her support figures on? WAs she previously earning income sufficient to pay the ordered support?

Not all learning disabilities preclude the ability to succeed in the correct field of endeavor.

 

[BL]

Is this learning disability determined to be developmental disability also ?

If so you should take her to the local SSA Office to apply for disability benefits .

Get a receipt of application and take it to court and ask for a modification and possibly relief from past due support .

Arrears are generally not forgivable through the State , but a Judge may come up with wording for some relief , if one can prove the disability existed at the time the order was made .

Also contact your local congresspersons Office and state briefly the dilemma of possible incarceration and ask kindly if they can research any laws for relief .

 

[ecmst12]

Why do you have custody if your daughter is living there and is the primary caregiver for the child? Why doesn't the child's MOTHER have custody? You can of course easily remedy the situation by going to court and giving custody back to the mother.

 

[allison nickens]

Allison, Ashley, Alexis

Shortly after Ashley was abandoned on my door-step she went to stay with a friend and look for some kind of work. She was unable to find work and began moving from one friends home to another. During this time she asked me to keep Alexis until she could find a more permanent home for the two of them. She didn't want to move back home at that time. Somehow the state became aware of the situation and declared Alexis dependent-neglect and I was told I could either work it with Ashley to have temp. custody or the state would put her in the foster care system. And so here we are. Happy to all be together but scared to death of what the state might pull now. And we don't have funds to retain a lawyer and in this county that's the only way to be heard. Help us please!! When Ashleys boyfriend abandoned her on my doorstep after 4 years together she started looking for a job but there's no alot where i lived so she went to stay with friends in the city for a while. At first she had Alexis with her but this became increasingly difficult for her to juggle alone and she approached me with a request; she needed me to take Alexis in until she could find work and find a place of he own for them. I said yes. The state became involved when i went to try to get some assistance for Alexis seeing as her father had just dissapeared out of the picture completely. I was told that she could not just stay with me without my having custody. They said she was dependent neglect because Ashley had been gone for over 30 days. I got with Ashley and we both Agreed that for the time being I would have custody. She was heart-broke at how her life was going and decided the best for all was for her to come home and she did. When we contacted DCS and told them she now lived with me also so could we revert custody back? The answer was ''no'' not until Ashley could show the courts that she could be responsible for all Alexis needs by herself. This is crazy Ashley wants to do all those things but in reality she will never be able to handle such a load on her own. The poor girl tries so hard to be every thing Alexis needs her to be but always seems to fall short. And now there threatening to arrest her over something out of her control.
Thank you so much for being an ear to talk to. This is a hard time for the whole family and its nice to know that someone out there cares.
Thanks, Allison

 

[ecmst12]

Go back to court and give custody back to your daughter. If custody was only temporary then it should be easy to remove.