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How To Beat The Child Support System

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no$$4us

Member
child support

Audster
I wanted to say that I am sorry to hear that your ex pulled you into the court every time you tried to earn extra income to cover things. I never thought any agency ever moved that fast. I have always thought that extra jobs should be for make-up purposes only.
In my case I feel like my ex should work an extra job to make up more of the debt he owes me so that I can get my business back on track. I would not ask for an increase due to his extra job. I have not asked for an increase in 10 years mainly because he is a deadbeat dad and I really can't expect to get blood out of turnip.
My anger comes from our recent court hearing. He tried to charge me with contempt saying I denied him visitation to the kids. 1--we could not locate him for years and
2 --we found out that he tried to get rid of his own parental rights after being found--so he would not have to pay and
3-- he never had any records of trying to call the kids--and he never did call
4--he wrote a letter which I kept saying to the kids and me--I will understand if you never want to see me again and I felt you were better off with your mom
I won the case but at a huge expense and please --WHAT A JERK HE IS
 


T

Theresia

Guest
My kids' dad has not ever been truly involved with his children ever. Even when we were married. Although at times I would get disgusted with his ways, I tried not to talk bad about their dad. He is their dad and always will be. My kids are grown now, and do not depend one bit on their biological dad. They don't say mean things, just know he never has been there for them. One day while dropping his "blood money" off, he made some stupid comment about having to pay child support. I asked him if he wanted my husband to go ahead and adopt the kids so he didn't have to pay. He said, "If he's stupid enough to do that, go ahead." My daughter was in the room! Granted she was in high school at this point, she asked her dad how else were they supposed to be taken care of, after all I was working two jobs at the time. She cried then. He has gotten better about having to pay the child support since he knows my husband's ex is taking him back to court. He's worried that I'll do the same now that he's making decent money. My daughter is 21 now and still calls her dad, but knows that there basically is no relationship really. My son who's 17 also accepts this. They never had a deadbeat dad so to speak, financially, but they still suffered. Etching deadbeat dad on your dad's tombstone seems a bit much. My kids' have done just fine knowing my husband and I have always been there for them no matter what. If you're an adult, then put it in the past, move on, and don't make the same mistakes he made.
 
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Theresia

Guest
I just reread your post and you said IF I was a deadbeat dad....sorry....misunderstood.
 
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Theresia

Guest
You are right about their being crappy NCP's, too. Maybe I use this forum for my own personal reasons. I can't whine and cry about it to my husband because I get "Don't worry about it, it's my money!" So I guess I have to vent elsewhere and it seems to be good therapy for me. So sorry if my whining and crying bothers you so much. Sounds like you have your own problems.
 

no$$4us

Member
beating the child suport system

You are right about moving on--but that goes both ways. If you are a saint and let him walk on you like a door mat what does that teach your kids.
You never spoke badly of him--which is good but did you defend yourself to your husband's comments. Do your children understand that or will they follow your example and pick someone to treat them like a door mat. Is that the proper way to believe in relationship.
I don't want to open a can of worms but I hope you can find this interesting to read. DALLAS RAINBOW NOW http://users2.ticnet.com/now/index.htm
The article I am referring to is Abuse and Custody. This is because it is fitting to me and my children. They need to know what is okay in a relationship and what is not whether it is your father or your husband.
10 years late my ex is the same angry individual. When I was asked my opinion of him --I said I have none because I haven't seen him in 8 years.
But he is still very angry at me. Enough that I got another restraining order against him after eights years.
 
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Theresia

Guest
Funny you should mention your life. Sounds alot like mine was. You see, I did divorce their dad because of abuse. In fact, my 16 year old son had to restrain his dad from hitting me once. Two months later, my son was killed in a truck accident. Within months the abuse was starting again and I got out. I told my youngest son and daughter, this was not the way it should be. I told my daughter not to ever put up with what I did, and I told my son I was breaking this awful cycle. I told him never to lay a hand on someone he supposely loved. I divorced him after 18 years of marriage. Yes, I should have did it much sooner. How I regret that I didn't to it before my oldest son passed away. We would have had a life. That was eight years ago. One of my ex's friends made the comment that they should make it a law that you can beat your wife, and my daughter (who was at her dad's house) said that her dad told the man that he lost everything because of that and that he learned there are other ways to handle situations. So although my kids and I still remember those awful years, their dad has learned from it and hopefully so have they. So, yes, I did try and teach my kids the right way to go. Unfortunately women who are abused are made to feel like they did something to deserve it. Well, it took me a while, but I did something about it and hopefully passed that on to my kids.
 

cohiba

Junior Member
finally somebody said it....

kudos go out to that guy and his very accurate website on how systematically unfair the government judicial system is regarding child support legislation!!!

I truly understand how hard it must be financially to raise children by ones self. However, giving the judicial system the authority to DICTATE their opinions and believes on what is clearly a social/human services matter is absolutely INCORRECT!!!!

I have already expressed my views on this in previous threads, so I don't think I need to go on. However, slowly ....but surely...there is a silent revolt brewing in America from the discriminated men and women who have had their personal freedom(s) taken away by the leftest activist judges that currently dwell amoung us!

Look out America, these are the same judges that are abolishing prayer in school, that are for Gay Marraige, that told another judge in Alabama, that he could not display the "Ten Commandments" in front of his courthouse!

THIS IS WHAT WERE UP AGAINST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, by all means.....congratulations on that guy and his website...for finally telling the truth on reality!!!!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!
 

Kevmar44

Member
Theresia said:
Oh, forgot to include the part about him showing up in his school clothes, pans that were past his ankles and ripped at the knees, the shirt obviously too small, barely covering his upper body, and ripped underwear. My husband called her to see why he was dressed like this with the amount of child support she receives. Basically, he got a big F---you from her. So he goes out and buys clothes, the kid wears them home, never seen again in our house! He just pitched his ripped underwear in the trash and wore our new ones home. Just kept showing up with ripped clothes. That gets frickin old sometimes. Hell, I know we bought at least 30 pairs of underwear for him! She's a pathetic mother to say the least.
I'm sorry, I wasn't actually referring to your case. I was talking to all those parents out there that are looking for the easy way out! Personally I think it's a crime that your husband has to pay $600 a month for one child while his ex gets by without having to work. And I know exactly what you are talking about! My son was attending a Catholic school when my troubles started to happen. The beauty of my story is that the new ex wife worked at the PARRISH house for the priest and she would have my son change into rags after school and keep the uniforms so I would have to go out and buy new! When I would buy long sleeve shirts he would come back in short sleeves and the underwear thing...if they were new they kept them and he came back in old, too small things. After that I had them send my son to school in a long sleeve T-SHIRT in 40 degree weather because they were NOT going to have to provide him with a coat that would come to my house! And that was while he wasn't paying me a dime! Now that I'm actually getting CS ANYTHING my son needs is MY responsibility because as they told my son "THAT'S what CS is for". Before all this crap started he faithfully paid me support for the 3 years we were separated but after the new woman came into the picture I didn't receive a dime for the next 3 years. So in my case if people want to call me names they can bring them on, but I intend to find all sorts of ways to make my ex's life a living hell until my son turns 18! :D :D :D
 
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Theresia

Guest
That's ok, I understand. I should be bitter towards him, but he does know that he lost basically everything. Also, my son who passed away lost all respect for his dad and his dad never got the chance to fix that before he died. But my ex will be judged one day on a higher level. We're not trying to get out of support, we just can't really afford more. My husband made the comment last night, that there were going to be more "cuts" made at our house if she gets more. What more can we cut I'd like to know????My problem I know. That woman you spoke of that worked for the parish needs to team up with my husband's ex..sounds like they could be good friends. :D I don't blame you for wanting to make your ex's life a living hell after what he did to you. She sounds just as bad. What is it with these women? Selfish, selfish, selfish....the kids suffer. Didn't the ex think how my step-son would feel going to school in those ridiculous clothes? Did she care? No. He was in the eighth grade then. Definitely had to make him feel bad. I had also given him my son's coat he outgrew, fake leather, ya know? He absolutely loved it. He wore it home and she told him that she would jerk that "tacky" thing off his back if he ever wore it around her. He told her he would just wear it when his dad took him to school then. She said that she would sit in the parking lot and wait and then take it away. What kind of people act like this? Emotionally unstable...Thank God we only have three more years. Until then, I will be the best step-mom I can be to this boy, he needs some sanity in his life and a female role model that isn't going to mess up his mind about women (if she hasn't already done that.)Best of luck to you.
 

casa

Senior Member
Disclaimer: I may (or may not) be 'bashed' for this, BUT:

I know both sides of the story. I was a single parent and paid everything- FYI I didn't have to. I could have raised caine, I could have ruined lives/careers- but would that help my child? NO. Father was very vulnerable because of his line of work, but I did what was right for my child and took care of them.

Next was the other parent deciding they had a consciousness 'check' and showed up and started paying support- gladly accepted. Helped a LITTLE bit.

Next was other parent wanting to 'know' their child~ OK. I'm not God after all. Turns out it worked.

These issues that turn to money have me highly suspicious~ and NO it wasn't easy for me, I scraped by too many times to count~ and NO I didn't use state or govt. aid.

Point is~ This forum has taught me (and hopefully others) one important thing: WHAT is about the child, and what is not? I mean we could all sit around and ask "What is fair?" but nothing in life is 'fair'. The system isn't perfect, but it's one the best there is- and if you live in the USA it's the only one we've got.

Right?

I'd rather take the high road and sleep at night is all. I know what I have done and my children will know it one day too. I would rather be the parent who is genuine than the parent who makes it about 'stuff'.

Just my 2c. Take or Toss ;)
 

AHA

Senior Member
"How To Beat The Child Support System"

I know how to beat it...........don't have kids if you can't afford them. :) That way you will have saved yourself a life time of troubles, fights for cash and hate for someone you chose to procreate with.
If your ex is an a$$, keep out of his/her life, it's their loss for losing out on raising their child.
It takes more energy to hate than to love, so shift that energy towards the kids and a different solution for cash instead of forcing a bitter contact with an ex that you don't want in your life anyway.
 
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Theresia

Guest
I know what you mean about scraping by and not raising caine. I voluntarily took a cut in CS because of my ex's job. I worked two jobs with no aid from anyone, not even free lunches at school. My husband would like to see me take my ex back to court now that he's making more money at his new job. I don't want to do that. We have an extremely good relationship and our kids know that. I have a good relationship with his wife, too. His ex can do it, but that's not my choice to do that.
 
T

Theresia

Guest
I probably should explain that my ex is a carpenter working seasonal work. Why would I drag him into court now that he's working steady, then settle for 20% of unemployment when I get a guaranteed $200 a month now year around? When I tell him I need a little extra here and there he comes through. I can raise my son with my job and CS. My ex drives a much older vehicle that I do, too. Seems to work for us. I just think that my husband's ex getting a new grand total of $828 a month is frickin ridiculous when she can't even hold down a job. Gets fired job after job because of her nasty attitude. What a surprise. When she got fired from the last one in Oct. 2003 (hasn't worked since) she had the gall to call my husband and whine and cry about how broke they were and how they weren't going to make it. Hell, my husband was paying her $600 a frickin month for one kid! Now she's driving a 2004????????? After this CS ends, I see a bankruptcy coming to town. :D
 

stevek3

Member
cohiba said:
kudos go out to that guy and his very accurate website on how systematically unfair the government judicial system is regarding child support legislation!!!

I truly understand how hard it must be financially to raise children by ones self. However, giving the judicial system the authority to DICTATE their opinions and believes on what is clearly a social/human services matter is absolutely INCORRECT!!!!

I have already expressed my views on this in previous threads, so I don't think I need to go on. However, slowly ....but surely...there is a silent revolt brewing in America from the discriminated men and women who have had their personal freedom(s) taken away by the leftest activist judges that currently dwell amoung us!

Look out America, these are the same judges that are abolishing prayer in school, that are for Gay Marraige, that told another judge in Alabama, that he could not display the "Ten Commandments" in front of his courthouse!

THIS IS WHAT WERE UP AGAINST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, by all means.....congratulations on that guy and his website...for finally telling the truth on reality!!!!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!
Not that I give a crap, but do you realize just how comically hypocritical your post is? For example, you berate judges for dictating their own opinion. Then, in the very same breath, you rant about the removal of a dopey Ten Commandments thing. In fact, the judge dictated his own opinion by ordering a display in the first place. You're running circles around your own logic.

Be that as it may, I have a really wacky perspective: Start taking responsibility for your very own actions and start taking responsibility for your very own creations. If you didn't want to risk the payment of child support, then why in the hell did you have kids in the first place?

Naturally, it's everybody's fault but your own. The only thing that separate self-centered you from a self-centered child is that children don't know any better. God bless America? Pal, you ARE America. Indeed, you represent everything America stands for. May your flag irresponsibly wave all the way to the welfare office.
 
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