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How does visitation work when parents live in 2 different states??

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scared319

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida.

I'm not sure of how to go abouts this. I live in florida and the father of my child lives in georgia. we are willing to work out the visitation, but I am completely dumbfounded about how to work out the visitation. My child isn't born yet, and we would like to try to get something going on visitation schedule.
How will the visitation work? The baby should be born somewhere around May. How does out of state visitation work?

Please help
 


seniorjudge

Senior Member
scared319 said:
What is the name of your state? Florida.

I'm not sure of how to go abouts this. I live in florida and the father of my child lives in georgia. we are willing to work out the visitation, but I am completely dumbfounded about how to work out the visitation. My child isn't born yet, and we would like to try to get something going on visitation schedule.
How will the visitation work? The baby should be born somewhere around May. How does out of state visitation work?

Please help
Q: How does out of state visitation work?

A: However y'all agree to make it work. Set up schedules (including all details) and follow them. The court should go along with y'all if you are reasonable.
 

NotSoNew

Senior Member
i agree however you guys make it work, how far are you two from each other hour wise? my DH's ex is going to be 3.5 hours away and we are going back to aks for 7 days on 7 days off, dont know if we will get it but she verbally agreed to 5 days every other week!
 

scared319

Junior Member
we are over 8 1/2 hours away from each other. the baby isn't born yet and he's asked for 3 consecutive months in georgia and 30 overnight visits... is this reasonable??
How would that work with a newborn???? I'll be breastfeeding and i'm just really not sure if he's asking alot. :confused:
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
scared319 said:
we are over 8 1/2 hours away from each other. the baby isn't born yet and he's asked for 3 consecutive months in georgia and 30 overnight visits... is this reasonable??
How would that work with a newborn???? I'll be breastfeeding and i'm just really not sure if he's asking alot. :confused:
that would probably not be awarded for a newborn, it's better for the child to have short frequent visits.
 
scared319 said:
we are over 8 1/2 hours away from each other. the baby isn't born yet and he's asked for 3 consecutive months in georgia and 30 overnight visits... is this reasonable??
How would that work with a newborn???? I'll be breastfeeding and i'm just really not sure if he's asking alot. :confused:
Three consecutive months and 30 overnights for a newborn? No way. Ain't gonna happen. However, I'll caution you that breastfeeding will not be a "defense" or reason for this not to happen. It's simply not in the best interest of a newborn. Typically judges will allow for frequent visits in the beginning. Once the child is older, then NCP can request overnights and longer stays.
 

scared319

Junior Member
I don't plan on "using" breastfeeding as a defense. I just don't see how he can have her that much considering she will be a newborn. What is a suitable more feasable visitation schedule considering we are 8 1/2 hours away from each other?? I know that the first year is going to be a little more difficult. Should i get a lawyer?? I really am confused.
How is it even feasable for a schedule like that? considering the long drive that we would have to make. I also have a 7 year old daughter who is no realtion to this man but I work a job that consists of me working weekends which is when he would want the visitation to be. I just feel really distraught
 

Whyte Noise

Senior Member
Here is a sample parenting plan for long distance parents. (My ex and I lived 16 hours one-way from one another (me in Missouri, him in Georgia) and used this... it was modified when I moved 8 hours closer (me in Tennessee, him in Georgia) ). When I lived in Missouri, we were to meet in Nashville, TN as that was halfway. Now that I've moved to Nashville, we meet at a different location which is still halfway for both of us. You should note that my ex and I have "split custody"... he has custody of 2 of our children, I have custody of 1. So, my schedule wording may seem strange when it says "all 3 of the parties minor children".

5. Exchanges:

Regular visitation exchanges as well as Holiday and summer visitation exchanges shall occur in Kennesaw, Georgia, which is the halfway point between the Mother’s and Father’s residences. The parties shall agree on an exact location in Kennesaw where they will meet to facilitate the exchange no less than one (1) week prior to each exchange taking place. Each parent shall have the right to designate their spouse or immediate family members to provide transportation for the children, and, in the absence of the Parent, supervise the child and make minor day-to-day decisions regarding the care and discipline of the children. Mother and Father shall pay their own transportation costs including but not limited to: gas, lodging, and food. Neither parent is required to reimburse the other parent for expenses incurred, unless one parent does not show up for the exchange, thereby putting an unnecessary financial burden on the parent who complied with the provisions herein. If such occasion arises, then the parent that was unduly burdened may file to receive reimbursement of their monies expended.

6. Holiday Schedule:

Summer Visitation: In even numbered years, Father shall have parenting time with all three of the parties minor children from one week after school recesses for the summer break until one week before school resumes classes in the fall. In odd numbered years, Mother shall have parenting time with all three of the parties minor children from one week after school recesses for the summer break until one week before school resumes classes in the fall. For the purpose of defining which weeks parenting time commences and ends, the parties agree to use the school schedule of the child(ren) that recesses latest in the spring and commences earliest in the fall.

Christmas Vacation: In even numbered years, the mother shall have parenting time with all three of the parties minor children from 6:00 pm on the day school recesses until 6:00 pm the day before school resumes classes.

Thanksgiving Vacation: In odd numbered years, the Mother shall have parenting time from 6:00 pm on the day school dismisses, until 6:00 pm on the day prior to school resuming.

Memorial Day: Mother shall have children on each Memorial Day that falls within her summer parenting time schedule. Father shall have children on each Memorial Day that does not fall within the Mother’s summer parenting time.

Labor Day: In odd numbered years, Father shall have the children for Labor Day from 6:00 pm on the Friday before Labor Day until 6:00 pm on Labor Day. In even numbered years, Mother shall have the children for Labor Day from 6:00 pm on the Friday before Labor Day until 6:00 pm on Labor Day.

July 4th: In even numbered years, Father shall have July 4th as part of his summer parenting time. In odd numbered years, Mother shall have July 4th as part of her summer parenting time.

Father’s Day: Father shall have the children on Father’s Day each and every year from 6:00 pm on the Friday before Father’s Day until 6:00 pm on Father’s Day.

Mother’s Day: Mother shall have the children each and every Mother’s Day from 6:00 pm on the Friday before Mother’s Day until 6:00 pm on Mother’s Day.

Children’s Birthdays: In even numbered years, Father shall have the children for their birthdays on either the weekend of their birthday (if it falls on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday) or the weekend before their birthday if it falls on Monday through Thursday. In odd numbered years, Mother shall have the children for their birthdays on either the weekend of their birthday (if it falls on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday) or the weekend before their birthday if it falls on Monday through Thursday.

Other: A.) Any time the Mother travels to the Father’s area of residence she may request additional parenting time with the children. The request must be made within 48 hours of the expected arrival in Father’s area so that arrangements can be made, if necessary, to accommodate this parenting time. Requests for additional parenting time shall not be denied frivolously or without merit.
B.) In the event of death in the immediate family of the Mother, additional parenting time shall be allowed so that children may attend the funeral of the deceased. This parenting time shall be no less than 4 days and shall specifically include the funeral day, the day before and the day after.



So yes, you can have a workable parenting schedule when the parents live in 2 different states.
 

scared319

Junior Member
How does that work out for you?? Do you find it difficult to travel the distance, and juggle a job?? I'm considering moving to georgia so that this doesn't get comlicated! I dont' want to leave my family here, but I don't want to tear apart "our" child either... (sigh)**************
 

Halls

Member
Most states don't have a visitation plan for a newborn or kids up to a certain age, but you have to ask yourself what exactly do you think is reasonable and meet the father half way on it. Honestly, I think visitation should be at your home for a bit and he would have to travel to come in to see the baby, but no overnights. Than after 6 months or so do overnights in your town and once a month he can start taking him home for a weekend.

Honestly, with being so far apart I think until the child is 3 or so it should really be one weekend a month and than hopefully more later on.

Is there any way for either of you to be closer to each other? Can the father not move near you? It is really in the best interest of the baby if y'all did live close enough so that he could see the baby more and spend more time with the baby. Cause as long as he lives so far away visitation will be very limited.

No court is going to order a newborn to go 8 hrs away overnight to the dad. If he was closer it would be easier and dad would likely get more overnights.
 

Halls

Member
Drag a child by the hair, oh my. If he has you on video tape doing that I would be worried. However, I would talk to a lawyer and tell them up front the deal is and see what they say.
 

Halls

Member
I think grabbing a child by their hair is very painful and abusive. I have dragged my son to his room, but by his arm. I can't imagine pulling his hair to his room. Talk about painful!
 

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