How to give money without it counting as income

[WMauck]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado

My ex-girlfriend is disabled and has 3 children. The children are now 14, 15 and 17 years old. Her ex-husband pays child support. She has no income besides disability which she does not need to count for child support calculations. She and her children live in a typical middle class home in Castle Rock, Colorado. Back when we were boyfriend and girlfriend, she was having trouble making the mortgage payments. So, I moved in with her and the kids and contributed $1000 a month to the household to help with the mortgage and cover any increase to household expenses I caused. When in court to adjust child support the judge said that any money that I was contributing to the household over and above my household expenses was considered a gift to her. That money was then considered income to her for purposes of child support calculations. This reduced her ex-husband’s child support and therefore defeated the purpose of me contributing to the household. We have since ended our relationship and I have moved out and her ex-husband’s child support has been increased.

My first question is this: she is once again having trouble making mortgage payments. I still care for the children and their well being. I would like to help them stay in the house at least until they are out of high school. How can I contribute money to help pay the mortgage without it effectively decreasing her ex-husband’s child support, therefore defeating the purpose of my contributions?

My second question is: I have a life insurance policy that I would like to have the kids benefit from in the event something happened to me (again to help keep them in the house). How can I make the children or their mother the beneficiaries of my life insurance policy without a payout, again, reducing her ex-husband’s child support payments?

Thank you for any advice.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado

My ex-girlfriend is disabled and has 3 children. The children are now 14, 15 and 17 years old. Her ex-husband pays child support. She has no income besides disability which she does not need to count for child support calculations. She and her children live in a typical middle class home in Castle Rock, Colorado. Back when we were boyfriend and girlfriend, she was having trouble making the mortgage payments. So, I moved in with her and the kids and contributed $1000 a month to the household to help with the mortgage and cover any increase to household expenses I caused. When in court to adjust child support the judge said that any money that I was contributing to the household over and above my household expenses was considered a gift to her. That money was then considered income to her for purposes of child support calculations. This reduced her ex-husband’s child support and therefore defeated the purpose of me contributing to the household. We have since ended our relationship and I have moved out and her ex-husband’s child support has been increased.

My first question is this: she is once again having trouble making mortgage payments. I still care for the children and their well being. I would like to help them stay in the house at least until they are out of high school. How can I contribute money to help pay the mortgage without it effectively decreasing her ex-husband’s child support, therefore defeating the purpose of my contributions?

Give her cash. And congratulations on trying to screw over her ex-husband.

My second question is: I have a life insurance policy that I would like to have the kids benefit from in the event something happened to me (again to help keep them in the house). How can I make the children or their mother the beneficiaries of my life insurance policy without a payout, again, reducing her ex-husband’s child support payments?

Thank you for any advice.

Honestly? I know you're going to be awfully offended by this but it's the truth.

You're screwing her ex-husband more than she ever did.

Stop it.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

We are here to help people solve legal problems, not create fraud problems.

 

[Proserpina]

We are here to help people with solve legal problems, not create fraud problems.

Which is a most excellent, and accurate, statement!

 

[Ohiogal]

YOu want people to give you help to commit fraud? Seriously? Not. Going. To. Happen. Oh and if anyone did help you, I would report their posts immediately for engaging in criminal activity.

If you give her money on a consistent basis (gifts) that can be considered income for child support purposes. That is a fact.

I know of one way that you could get around this however I will not share because I find your question reprehensible and unethical.

 

[Ohiogal]

Give her cash. And congratulations on trying to screw over her ex-husband.






Honestly? I know you're going to be awfully offended by this but it's the truth.

You're screwing her ex-husband more than she ever did.

Stop it.

Cash on a consistent basis would still be considered income. However if his ex has the same ethics he does, she would most likely LIE about it under oath (hence, perjury which is a felony). Great morals these children are learning.

 

[ecmst12]

Rather than continuing to bail her out, I would suggest you encourage mom to move OUT of that house into a place she can actually afford.

 

[LdiJ]

Peeps...I am very seriously confused.

How in the world would the OP making her children beneficiaries of his life insurance have any impact whatsoever on child support, and why in the world would any of you consider that to be fraudulent in any way? Its an extradordinarily kind/generous thing for the OP to do, but its in no way committing fraud against their father.

I also do NOT get at all why you all feel that it was valid for child support to be reduced simply because she had a live in significant other who shared the household expenses. You ALL make it clear to many other posters that a new spouse or significant other is irrelevant to a child support calculation, so what made this particular situation so different than any other?

If mom had married a wealthy man who covered all of the living expenses not a one of you would state that anything other than her income mattered for child support purposes...you would all state that her new spouse was not obligated to support her children. If mom was living in her parents home and had to pay no rent not a one of you would say that its income for child support purposes either. So what is the deal on this thread?

OP, if you want to help your ex-girlfriend stay in her home because you care about her children keeping their home, that is admirable. I would suggest that you find a way to do it without giving her any money directly. Not because it would be defrauding the children's father for you to help out, but because there is obviously a judge involved who is willing to consider extraordinary things as "income" for the purposes of a child support calculation.

Sitting here shaking my head in wonderment.

 

[Proserpina]

Peeps...I am very seriously confused.

How in the world would the OP making her children beneficiaries of his life insurance have any impact whatsoever on child support, and why in the world would any of you consider that to be fraudulent in any way? Its an extradordinarily kind/generous thing for the OP to do, but its in no way committing fraud against their father.

I also do NOT get at all why you all feel that it was valid for child support to be reduced simply because she had a live in significant other who shared the household expenses. You ALL make it clear to many other posters that a new spouse or significant other is irrelevant to a child support calculation, so what made this particular situation so different than any other?

If mom had married a wealthy man who covered all of the living expenses not a one of you would state that anything other than her income mattered for child support purposes...you would all state that her new spouse was not obligated to support her children. If mom was living in her parents home and had to pay no rent not a one of you would say that its income for child support purposes either. So what is the deal on this thread?

OP, if you want to help your ex-girlfriend stay in her home because you care about her children keeping their home, that is admirable. I would suggest that you find a way to do it without giving her any money directly. Not because it would be defrauding the children's father for you to help out, but because there is obviously a judge involved who is willing to consider extraordinary things as "income" for the purposes of a child support calculation.

Sitting here shaking my head in wonderment.

This isn't Mom remarrying or living with someone - this is Mom getting under-the-table income that she isn't going to report because if she does, she'll likely get child support reduced.

I'm surprised you can't see the difference.

(And it IS a difference - a huge difference)

 

[I'mTheFather]

Peeps? .

 

[LdiJ]

This isn't Mom remarrying or living with someone - this is Mom getting under-the-table income that she isn't going to report because if she does, she'll likely get child support reduced.

I'm surprised you can't see the difference.

(And it IS a difference - a huge difference)

I understand what you are saying. However the ENTIRE reason why the OP is asking about this is because mom's child support previously got reduced simply because she was living with someone who was sharing the living expenses. That should NEVER have happened.

If that had not happened, OP wouldn't be here asking the question...and you specifically seemed to have a problem with the OP naming her children as beneficiaries to his life insurance...as in somehow that defrauded dad.

I also disagree with your initial premise...it is not a forgone conclusion that someone else helping a CP is automatically income, and therefore fraud if that income doesn't reduce child support. It is for welfare purposes but its not a forgone conclusion for child support purposes.

My dad gave his sister 500.00 a month for YEARS after she got divorced because her ex husband attorney did everything he could to destroy her financially. Never once did any judge consider that "income"...never once did any judge buy into the argument, by her ex that it was "income".

Why?, because my dad had no continuing obligation to give his sister that money. He did it freely and only because her ex was draining her dry. He could have stopped at any time.

This OP also has no obligation whatsoever to assist his ex. Anything he gives her he can stop at any time. He is only contemplating helping her because she is disabled, has a limited income and he cares about her children.

Heck, he could buy a house a let her live in it for free, and it should have zero impact on child support...because child support has nothing to do with expenses.

I am sorry, but the responses to this thread were completely out of line in my opinion.

 

[ecmst12]

Making the ex or the children the life insurance beneficiaries would not be fraudulent. And if there were to be a payout, it shouldn't affect child support since it's a one-time payment. Especially if it's paid to the children. But attempting to HIDE the payment would still be a bad idea.

It sounds to me that it wasn't sharing living expenses, it sounds like OP was paying rent. Which is income.

 

[Proserpina]

I understand what you are saying. However the ENTIRE reason why the OP is asking about this is because mom's child support previously got reduced simply because she was living with someone who was sharing the living expenses. That should NEVER have happened.

If that had not happened, OP wouldn't be here asking the question...and you specifically seemed to have a problem with the OP naming her children as beneficiaries to his life insurance...as in somehow that defrauded dad.

I also disagree with your initial premise...it is not a forgone conclusion that someone else helping a CP is automatically income, and therefore fraud if that income doesn't reduce child support. It is for welfare purposes but its not a forgone conclusion for child support purposes.

My dad gave his sister 500.00 a month for YEARS after she got divorced because her ex husband attorney did everything he could to destroy her financially. Never once did any judge consider that "income"...never once did any judge buy into the argument, by her ex that it was "income".

Why?, because my dad had no continuing obligation to give his sister that money. He did it freely and only because her ex was draining her dry. He could have stopped at any time.

This OP also has no obligation whatsoever to assist his ex. Anything he gives her he can stop at any time. He is only contemplating helping her because she is disabled, has a limited income and he cares about her children.

Heck, he could buy a house a let her live in it for free, and it should have zero impact on child support...because child support has nothing to do with expenses.

I am sorry, but the responses to this thread were completely out of line in my opinion.

You're entitled to your opinion.

 

[Zigner]

It sounds to me that it wasn't sharing living expenses, it sounds like OP was paying rent. Which is income.

Seconded...

 

[Proserpina]

Seconded...

Thirded.