how long do you pay?

[chjochel]

What is the name of your state? MI

I live in MI and my daughter lives in NY, under NY law I pay support until she is 21.....how can that be right? what if she moves out or gets married before then, I just don't see how they can make you pay support after your child turns 18. I can understand for maybe a year or two longer if she is still in school, but damn 21!!!!!!! people keep telling me that it's just under special circumstances that you pay that long, ok what are the special circumstances? I just don't get it and no I'm not a dead beat that doesnt want to pay but come on....until she is 21!!!!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? MI

I live in MI and my daughter lives in NY, under NY law I pay support until she is 21.....how can that be right? what if she moves out or gets married before then, I just don't see how they can make you pay support after your child turns 18. I can understand for maybe a year or two longer if she is still in school, but damn 21!!!!!!! people keep telling me that it's just under special circumstances that you pay that long, ok what are the special circumstances? I just don't get it and no I'm not a dead beat that doesnt want to pay but come on....until she is 21!!!!

Its not "special circumstances" in NY. Its the law. You pay until age 21 or emancipation, whichever comes first. Marriage, enlistment in the military, moving out an getting a full time job are all types of thing that make a child emancipated. Going to college is NOT emancipation, even if they live on campus.

 

[jj99]

It's not right. If someone is legally an adult at 18 you shouldn't have to pay child support until the age of 21. But if it's the law there isn't much you can do about it. Don't have any more sexual relationships with women who live in NY. Men should actually read the child support laws from states that you may have a female interest in. If the laws are crazy move on to someone else

 

[fairisfair]

It's not right. If someone is legally an adult at 18 you shouldn't have to pay child support until the age of 21. But if it's the law there isn't much you can do about it. Don't have any more sexual relationships with women who live in NY. Men should actually read the child support laws from states that you may have a female interest in. If the laws are crazy move on to someone else:D

that is some darned FINE advice on choosing a mate!!

 

[chjochel]

If I could only predict the future, I would be rich also. She's not from NY, she just moved there a couple of years ago. I just think it's a bunch of crap to pay support until my child is 21. What about health insurance? My insurance will not cover over 18 unless she is in college somewhere.

 

[nextwife]

If I could only predict the future, I would be rich also. She's not from NY, she just moved there a couple of years ago. I just think it's a bunch of crap to pay support until my child is 21. What about health insurance? My insurance will not cover over 18 unless she is in college somewhere.

If YOU had intitated jt custody and CS while she was in MI, the order would have been through MI and would not have been till 21.

 

[tuffbrk]

So I guess chjochel and everyone else here all were tossed out on their butts at 18 yo, fully able to support themselves? I'm impressed. Having been a ward of the court who then was transferred to SS when my "mother" passed away, I was tossed at 18 yo. There were times I didn't have the quarter that I needed to buy Scottissue for the bathroom, despite working 2 jobs. As a result, I would never begrudge supporting my children until such time as they have gained a solid education in a trade or a profession that allows them to become financially independent. After training/education - time to get a full time job and work towards your security deposit!

If the marriage had remained intact and it was a joint decision to toss the kid at 18 yo, of course there's not a court in the workd that could do anything about it. It's the divorce that gave the courts the right to interfere in private decisions. But let's remember - at least CS ends eventually whereas the idiotic jerk you're divorcing - you could end up supporting for the rest of your life! So hey - let's all expect more from the 18 yo's than the fully grown adults...

Sorry to vent - Just sometimes seems that the true victims of divorce get lost in the equation of getting on with one's life and being able to breathe financially.

 

[chjochel]

So I guess chjochel and everyone else here all were tossed out on their butts at 18 yo, fully able to support themselves? I'm impressed. Having been a ward of the court who then was transferred to SS when my "mother" passed away, I was tossed at 18 yo. There were times I didn't have the quarter that I needed to buy Scottissue for the bathroom, despite working 2 jobs. As a result, I would never begrudge supporting my children until such time as they have gained a solid education in a trade or a profession that allows them to become financially independent. After training/education - time to get a full time job and work towards your security deposit!

If the marriage had remained intact and it was a joint decision to toss the kid at 18 yo, of course there's not a court in the workd that could do anything about it. It's the divorce that gave the courts the right to interfere in private decisions. But let's remember - at least CS ends eventually whereas the idiotic jerk you're divorcing - you could end up supporting for the rest of your life! So hey - let's all expect more from the 18 yo's than the fully grown adults...

Sorry to vent - Just sometimes seems that the true victims of divorce get lost in the equation of getting on with one's life and being able to breathe financially.

Okay now let me vent, I had custody of my daughter from age 3-14.5 year. She didn't have much of a relationship with her mom, didn't even speak for a couple of years. She went to stay with her mom for a couple of weeks in the summer, called asked if she could stay longer and I let her. Right before school starts, she comes home wanting to go live with her mom for a while. I was dead against it, but I know she really wanted to have a relationship with her mom, I'm not going into all the details into why I let her go. Her mom said it's not about the money, didn't want nothing, but I still sent money to help out and didn't sign custody over to her. A health insurance issue came up some months later when she got sick, the only way to get her on her stepdad's insurance was to have custody, so I agreed( I know what your going to say) everything was going good, had a hearing over the phone, agreed to the custody order. A weel later HOLY SH** I just got served with a child support order....so paying until she's 21 is a problem for me and by the way she didn't pay 1 cent when I had custody NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh yeah sorry to vent !

 

[nextwife]

So, did YOU get a CS order for mom to pay? Did you have legal custody?

FYI -Kids don't make those decisions, why would you let her? If she'd asked to live with a boyfriend, would you have agreed because that was what she "wanted".

 

[Silverplum]

Okay. You ranted. But now that's over. This is a LEGAL site, so your next post needs to be on the legal point.

 

[chjochel]

Okay. You ranted. But now that's over. This is a LEGAL site, so your next post needs to be on the legal point.

No sh**, read my first post, thats what I wanted to know.

 

[chjochel]

So, did YOU get a CS order for mom to pay? Did you have legal custody?

FYI -Kids don't make those decisions, why would you let her? If she'd asked to live with a boyfriend, would you have agreed because that was what she "wanted".

Like I said, I'm not going into the details into why I let her go, there was a whole more to it . I didn't just say "ok you can go". geez, don't worry I will not ask anything else!

 

[Silverplum]

Like I said, I'm not going into the details into why I let her go, there was a whole more to it . I didn't just say "ok you can go". geez, don't worry I will not ask anything else!

If you refuse to provide details, how do you possibly expect good help?? that's just dense.

So if that's your 'tude, go on, go on.

 

[Silverplum]

No sh**, read my first post, thats what I wanted to know.

A theoretical rant against the system of NY CS is not a question. It's a rant. And boring, to boot.

Like I said in your OTHER thread on the same topic -- Call NY and ask THEM why.

 

[chjochel]

A theoretical rant against the system of NY CS is not a question. It's a rant. And boring, to boot.

Like I said in your OTHER thread on the same topic -- Call NY and ask THEM why.

I did, they told me it's the law. I try calling a lawyer and they want to charge, I thought I would try this first, I had no idea what kind of response I would get on here, sorry to piss people off on here.