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annsimm

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Ohio
My step daughter spends one week with us and one week with her biological mom. She is 13 yrs old. How old does she have to be for a judge to let her decide who she lives with?? Biological mom says she wants to stay with her full time but when she is with us she says she is happy too. Mom will probably end up taking us to court for full custody. We are definitely not unfit but neither is her mom. How likely will the judge change the current situation?? Anybody have any thoughts??
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
18 then the child can decide for herself. Otherwise, a judge MAY listen to her but that's as far as it will go.

Without a change in circumstances large enough to change custody there is a very slim chance that a judge would change the standing order.

WELCOME TO DIVORCE :D
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
The fact of the matter is that society doesn't understand 50/50 like you have. Society believe SOMEONE must be in charge and have primiary custody. The odds of the judge changing the situation if one of the parent take it court is probably good. I know that isn't what you want to hear but it's reality. My husband has 50/50 also (2 weeks at a time) and while reading your post I thought a lot of my step-daughter. Like yours she's a placator. She tells you what she thinks you want to hear and she does the same with mom. My husband went to court recently trying to get a modification and some clarity in his order. If the judge said it once he said it 10 times "if you guys can't agree then someone needs to file for custody'. My husband's ex believes that when a child is 13 they get to choose and the judge will just do as they please. Yes, I've tried to tell her differently. However, reality in this sort of situation is that although they won't get to 'choose' if there is a hard choice between the households as to which is 'better' the child's choice is going to hold a lot of weight.
 

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