I am in a bad spot...

[Rwilkie]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

Hi I had some questions on my situtation. I been with Guy 1 for 5 years, we went threw a rough patch and I slept with guy 2 one time. Guy 2 I assume got me preg and is the father of my son. Because of the timing and just because i know he cummed in me. I have been telling guy 1 that he is the father and he has been there, and he loves him etc. We still went through a rough time he cheated on me while preg and afterwards. but was always there for us both still. Guy 1 and I have broken up for good recently, my son is 9months old now. Guy 1 has been helping pay for babysitter weekly and the occasional diapers/clothes/toys. Guy 1 name is on the birth certificate and my son has his last name as well. Guy 2 has always known that he was most likely the father because of that one time we saw each other. I would like to stay with guy 1 and make things work because i have been threw so much with him and at the end of the day i do love him. He is choosing to leave me though. And because of this I am wanting to drop all contact with him and just have guy 2 pay child support. guy 2 doesn't want anything really to do with him anyways but he has admited and believes he is his. I guess my question is, could i still have guy 1 be his father and take care of him and pay child support without paternity test? Because he has admitted he is his and he is on the birth certificate but does GA require blood test? OR should I just do whats best and have guy 2 pay child support and him not really even be in the childs life.

 

[Proserpina]

On the off-chance that you're not a troll...

Guy 2 has no legal responsibility AT ALL.

Guy 1 has - even if he hasn't legitimated the child - apparently signed paternity papers. HE is responsible for child support.

And, he has the right to sue you for custody. And/or visitation.

 

[Rwilkie]

Could guy 2 have legal responsibility if i took him to court for dna test and child support? Would he have to pay guy 1 back child support?

Guy 1 could he ask for a dna test if i took him to court?

 

[Isis1]

Could guy 2 have legal responsibility if i took him to court for dna test and child support? Would he have to pay guy 1 back child support?

Guy 1 could he ask for a dna test if i took him to court?

woman, you are embarrassing.


only 1 daddy for this child. take guy 1 to court for child support. request a DNA. if it comes out that guy 1 isn't the dad, take guy 2 to court for child support.


whichever guy turns out to be the dad, they'll be able to file for child custody/visitation. once paternity has been established.

 

[Proserpina]

Could guy 2 have legal responsibility if i took him to court for dna test and child support? Would he have to pay guy 1 back child support?

Guy 1 could he ask for a dna test if i took him to court?

Guy 2, if he is established as father, can also sue you for custody and visitation and child support.

And in Georgia, either man can file in court - even 9 months later - although the burden of proof would be on them to prove duress, fraud or material mistake of fact.

Stop playing musical daddies. Try thinking of your child.

 

[Rwilkie]

You didnt answer my question. I know guy 2 is the father but he wants nothing to do with my son. Guy 1 thinks he is his and doesn't question it but doesnt want to go to court. But refuses to pay more then just the weekly daycare basically. I have him 6days out of the week because guy 1 is in school and work. I do my schooling online and work full time as well. And raise my son by myself except for 1day!! Because me and guy 1 are no longer together I am wanting to have something on paper instead of constant fighting of money and when we come to a disagreement I want to take my son from him. (he assumes he is the father) We still love each other but we are point where we fight to often to be together. I want guy 1 to be in my sons life he has treated him and loved him as if he was his own. I made a horrible mistake by sleeping with guy 2 once but he also gave me the greatest gift! My son. Because me and guy 1 fight a lot, I was assuming we should go to court to have something legally on paper and to help me out more with my little guy. But I don't want it to backfire and he is able to ask for a DNA test. If he is then I wont go to the court route with guy 1 and just simply disappear and get his name off the birth certificate and take guy 2 to court.

What I am doing is wrong in every way and I know I am hurting him and his family by doing this. But I have no choice but to think of my future and my sons.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

woman, you are embarrassing.
only 1 daddy for this child. take guy 1 to court for child support. request a DNA. if it comes out that guy 1 isn't the dad, take guy 2 to court for child support.
whichever guy turns out to be the dad, they'll be able to file for child custody/visitation. once paternity has been established.

I agree this is the logical course of action you need to take. You owe it to the child to establish paternity correctly.

(JERRY....JERRY....jerry...jerryyy)

 

[Isis1]

You didnt answer my question. I know guy 2 is the father but he wants nothing to do with my son. Guy 1 thinks he is his and doesn't question it but doesnt want to go to court. But refuses to pay more then just the weekly daycare basically. I have him 6days out of the week because guy 1 is in school and work. I do my schooling online and work full time as well. And raise my son by myself except for 1day!! Because me and guy 1 are no longer together I am wanting to have something on paper instead of constant fighting of money and when we come to a disagreement I want to take my son from him. (he assumes he is the father) We still love each other but we are point where we fight to often to be together. I want guy 1 to be in my sons life he has treated him and loved him as if he was his own. I made a horrible mistake by sleeping with guy 2 once but he also gave me the greatest gift! My son. Because me and guy 1 fight a lot, I was assuming we should go to court to have something legally on paper and to help me out more with my little guy. But I don't want it to backfire and he is able to ask for a DNA test. If he is then I wont go to the court route with guy 1 and just simply disappear and get his name off the birth certificate and take guy 2 to court.

What I am doing is wrong in every way and I know I am hurting him and his family by doing this. But I have no choice but to think of my future and my sons.

nothing in your post says you are thinking of the child. by your own words you want to use the child as a play toy to get back at some poor shmuck who thinks he has a child.

your behavior is disgusting.

 

[Proserpina]

You didnt answer my question. I know guy 2 is the father but he wants nothing to do with my son.

No, you don't know that.

Guy 1 thinks he is his and doesn't question it but doesnt want to go to court. But refuses to pay more then just the weekly daycare basically.

You do realize that Guy 1 has NO obligation to pay you a darned cent without a court order - right?

I have him 6days out of the week because guy 1 is in school and work. I do my schooling online and work full time as well. And raise my son by myself except for 1day!!

Oh good. Then please use grown up terms such as "ejaculated". We're all adults here.

Because me and guy 1 are no longer together I am wanting to have something on paper instead of constant fighting of money and when we come to a disagreement I want to take my son from him. (he assumes he is the father) We still love each other but we are point where we fight to often to be together. I want guy 1 to be in my sons life he has treated him and loved him as if he was his own.

He owes you nothing.

And you need to understand something. If you continue to use your child as a pawn - wanting to take your child away from his LEGAL FATHER because you're arguing - you could lose custody.

I made a horrible mistake by sleeping with guy 2 once but he also gave me the greatest gift! My son.

You don't know that.

Because me and guy 1 fight a lot, I was assuming we should go to court to have something legally on paper and to help me out more with my little guy. But I don't want it to backfire and he is able to ask for a DNA test.

Yeah, he can still challenge paternity.

If he is then I wont go to the court route with guy 1 and just simply disappear and get his name off the birth certificate and take guy 2 to court.

And what makes you think this is going to happen?

What I am doing is wrong in every way and I know I am hurting him and his family by doing this. But I have no choice but to think of my future and my sons.

Your best choice frankly would be to give up custody.

Hopefully the court will see that either guy would be a better option.

 

[Proserpina]

(For what it's worth, I strongly suspect we're being played here. Perhaps by legal father's new girlfriend trying to figure out if he can get out of the whole thing)

 

[ThePlane22]

and women make us men out to be the bad guys... *facepalm

 

[Isis1]

and women make us men out to be the bad guys... *facepalm

only if you are the one sleeping with this one.....

 

[LillianX]

The proper terminology in polite conversation is "Had unprotected sex". I understand that you weren't trying to be offensive, but it's quite a jarring word that you used, and it caused me to spit out some of my wine, and that's no good.

Now, onto your problem.

File in court for child support from the child's biological father. Period. He is the father, he is entitled to know and support his child, and your child is entitled to know his father, as well as his medical history.

Your boyfriend, poor schmuck that he is, is entitled to a life free from supporting a child who is not his. If he WANTS to be a part of the child's life, knowing the child is not his, that's one thing. It is quite another thing entirely to force fatherhood, as well as a lifetime of child support on a man who trusts you.

What you are doing is so, so wrong on so many levels.

 

[Proserpina]

The proper terminology in polite conversation is "Had unprotected sex". I understand that you weren't trying to be offensive, but it's quite a jarring word that you used, and it caused me to spit out some of my wine, and that's no good.

Alcohol abuse!

Now, onto your problem.

File in court for child support from the child's biological father. Period. He is the father, he is entitled to know and support his child, and your child is entitled to know his father, as well as his medical history.

Your boyfriend, poor schmuck that he is, is entitled to a life free from supporting a child who is not his. If he WANTS to be a part of the child's life, knowing the child is not his, that's one thing. It is quite another thing entirely to force fatherhood, as well as a lifetime of child support on a man who trusts you.

What you are doing is so, so wrong on so many levels.

He signed the AOP - he's already legally Dad (though the child doesn't appear to be legitimated, which will have to happen if Legal Dad wants to file for access).

 

[Rwilkie]

The proper terminology in polite conversation is "Had unprotected sex". I understand that you weren't trying to be offensive, but it's quite a jarring word that you used, and it caused me to spit out some of my wine, and that's no good.

Now, onto your problem.

File in court for child support from the child's biological father. Period. He is the father, he is entitled to know and support his child, and your child is entitled to know his father, as well as his medical history.

Your boyfriend, poor schmuck that he is, is entitled to a life free from supporting a child who is not his. If he WANTS to be a part of the child's life, knowing the child is not his, that's one thing. It is quite another thing entirely to force fatherhood, as well as a lifetime of child support on a man who trusts you.

What you are doing is so, so wrong on so many levels.

Thank you for responding to my post and answering my questions. I know what I am doing is selfish more then anything. I am young and in love with a guy who I didnt want to lose and he has been so great. I just didnt want to let my mistake affect our relationship. I know he would HATE me sooo much if who knew who guy 2 was. He has always had a hate for him, jealous, idk. just dispised him. Guy 1 does know I have slept with him one time but does not know the correct date. Guy 1 loves us both and has nothing but been there for us both and I feel horrible for doing this to him. And I would want him to be his father.

I just need to be honest and tell the truth and hopefully he is willing to be in both our lives still and forgive me. But that is very doubtful considering recently we broke up and things are still not looking good even though I am still trying to make it work.

I have been talking to Guy 2 about everything and telling him I will most likely be taking him to court even though he doesnt want me to. He does achnoledge he is the biological father.

I want guy 1 to be in his life because i know in the end he is a great father to him. But at the sametime I know he isnt the biological father. Test will prove it but I am 99.9% for sure he isnt. And its so wrong in many ways for me to hold him down to that commitment when i know the truth.

I put myself in a bad spot that I can't seem to figure out what to do. Emotionally, for my son, and whats the right thing to do.